antipathy's verse


anger makes me beautiful
anger makes me perfect
anger says deny all that your fate says you deserve
anger picks my scabs
and in sucking out the blood
it sketches in a memory
my inexistent son

scribbling down the drivel of
the onus in my conscience

with sullied fingers delving in
the riverbed of souls beneath
the watershed, i kneel to drown please let
me drown please let me down just one more
round to drown out my desire for release

from the yesteryears and nevermores, a boy as ugly as the day he was born, thru picket fences,
staid, eclectic, asymmetric; seek into this marvel of self-destruction; i laugh but only in tears
and i desire but only thru fear and i destroy this world is mine the world divine fuck you heaven
i’ll die til the day i die just to understand what went awry

but by the time the sun shall rise
to open these eyes and answer to the shrills of ancient happiness
a cloud shall take its refuge o’er my coffin
my worldly garden
my worthy harlot of desire
blood
my sweat and ejaculate
my tears and vomit
my thoughtless habit
unregimented
the mind knows NOTHING

(i have little else to say aside from the fact that i want to twist off your head
and spike it on the floor
in a nightmare you can’t imagine

i am here because you led me down this narrow path
of falsities and pseudonyms for pleasure
a fate worse than death
the masochist: a fear, chewed up and swallowed
i don’t need to explain
what i’m dreaming of doing to your rotting corpse
such a pretty face, wasted and shambled and disjointed
from the beauty of love
not unlike a cannibal’s wish to serrate human flesh
licking off the bones
with blood on his breath
and marrow dripping off the chin
this may be the darkest the night has ever been
in light of such a world in which all that’s pure is sin)

but for a gentle wind across my lips
so swift upon what could have been
so tender against cadaverous kin
that egressed from your mouth and i knew that
you couldn’t have seemed sexier that night
when the moon crescent amplified its icon on your chest
a mouth i could devour
if i were a cannibal
if i were a lover
touch me like an animal
coat my skin in earth and worms
grow the fur i so deserve
i so deserve you
you couldn’t have been perfect that night
because i only saw your silhouette eclipsed by
the vacant airs and dews of dawn
destroying the world we stood upon
maybe can i savor
your ruby, sheer, to take a sip
of this human concoction
blood
my sweat and ejaculate
my tears and vomit
my thoughtless habit
unregimented
because
the mind knows NOTHING
and i make no attempt to deny it
because it’s what i was taught
to believe in




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