Justin interrupted, putting his hand in JC's face briefly and grabbed a chip, "No." He shook his head and popped the nacho in his mouth.
"Ummm..." JC asked, being confused, "No?"
"Yes." Justin popping two nachos into his mouth this time.
"Care to add on to that, honey?" JC asked unsurely.
"This," Justin waved his chip-laden hand in the air between his husband and himself, "we bullshit. Last time I checked, I was the one carrying the overactive, 20-pound bowling ball. So, there is no we. I'm the one who has to push this motherfucker out my ass-"
"Sweetie," JC quickly interrupted, he was slowly becoming used to Justin ranting about his pregnancy. JC thinks that Justin's just anxious at seeing their bundle of joy and was taking it out on his nearest target...JC. "Look I know that your nervous and I thought that maybe if we have the baby shower after w-" JC quickly corrected himself, "I mean you deliver. I don't want you to stress over planning a party, especially since you're almost at your ninth month, baby."
"Did I say that planning the party was stressful? Don't answer, I'm not done yet. Because it's not. I am bored and bigger than a fucking house. This would give me something to do besides pissing every other minute and choosing damn baby names. By the way how do you feel about Gia for a girl? I was thinking that it's pretty. Like Gia Angela or something ending with an A. Anyway, what was I saying?"
"Baby shower."
"Right, baby shower. I'm going to plan one. I don't care to hear your opinion. I want to have it before Junior or Juniorina make their debut. And I'm not nervous."
"Okay, Justin."
"I'm not. But you should be, if we're out of these nachos. Now," Justin flicked out both his hands in the air, "help me up. I'm sinking into the damn sofa. I gotta take a leak."
JC quickly left the sofa in the Timberlake-Chasez's living room and stood in front of his husband. He grabbed on and pulled while Justin pushed himself off the sofa.
"You know Justin, I hope that you will cut down on the cursing once the baby is here. By the rate your going, their first word is going to be 'Fuck'."
Justin waddled around JC and the sofa, heading to their bathroom, "Like you don't curse. I love you anyway," Justin popped his head out of the bathroom door and smiled, "Fucker."
A Week Later
"Goddamnit, JC." Justin screeched in the kitchen that afternoon, "Where in the blue fuck are the invitations I bought? And as a matter of fact, my damn Double Fudge Brownie Madness is fucking missing and I know it was there in the freezer last motherfucking night!"
JC ran downstairs from their bedroom. "Justin, what's wrong?"
"My invitations I bought for the baby shower are gone and so is my damn ice cream." Justin huffed with his hands on his hips.
"But you just bought both of them yesterday." JC stated matter-of-factly.
Justin looked behind him and back at JC. "What the fuck? Do I need a fucking echo? Did I just not say that? I know I bought it yesterday, where in the hell are they? Cause I know I didn't touch them and I am not losing my mind and since there is only two damn occupants in this house, the only other person who should know the happened to my shit would be you!"
"Well see I left the invitations by Lance's house yesterday. 'Cause I brought them over to show him the color, so the decorations match exactly. And I was hungry, so I ate the ice cream."
"YOU DID WHAT?!" Justin bellowed, shocked for a few seconds.
"Yeah, you see I was in the mood for-"
"MY MOTHERFUCKING ICE CREAM!! Your skinny ass consumed the entire half-gallon?! Unfuckingbelievable!! I want my goddamn ice cream right now!!"
"I know baby. I am so sorry but I was really hungry. We can go together to Baskin Robbins."
"I don't want fucking Baskin fucking Robbins, I want my Double Fudge Brownie Madness!" Justin screamed on the verge of having a massive temper tantrum.
"But honey, they have banana splits and extra fudge sundaes at Baskin Robbins" JC cajoled.
Justin pouted, "With whipped cream and sprinkles? And a bit of chopped nuts and ketchup?" Justin looked imploringly to JC.
JC squirmed at Justin's weird ice cream combo but figured that this was the least of his problems now. He figured that he'd just bring their Heinz ketchup into their car. "Sure. Whatever you want. Forgive me, baby?"
"Well what I want is my Double Fudge Brownie Madness but since I love you, I can forgive you. But I want my ice cream now." Justin snatched up their car keys off the rack in their kitchen and headed out the back door. "I'll wait in the car. Change your shirt," he yelled behind him as he made his way to the passenger seat.
JC shook his head and smiled. "You know, I can't wait until our kid is born."
Thirty Minutes Later
"We're sooo happy now," Justin slurped his ice cream/ketchup sundae happily.
JC sighed and shuddered silently before he looked to the passenger seat of their Escalade. "I'm happy to oblige, Sweets. You have a bit of ice cream on your lip."
"Well why don't you come kiss it off, baby," Justin purred, his hormones kicking in something awful.
JC quickly glanced at the tomato-milky mush covering his husband's lips and thought that he'd rather kiss moldy bread but, of course, he couldn't say that to Justin, so he went for option B, which was, "I gotta pay attention to the road, Justin." He gripped the steering wheel nervously but otherwise kept his disgust at Justin's concoction off his face.
Justin snickered lightly and leaned himself against the passenger window to give his husband a low-hooded, sexy stare. "Riiight," he purred silkily, "that's why you missed the turn to get back home. You were supposed to make a right, not a left. I see you looking at me baby." Justin licked his spoon seductively, "Want some?" not specifying what he meant, the ice cream or him.
JC whipped his head to look at his horny husband and felt his stomach quiver from watching Justin lick his spoon. On one hand, he had a hot, horny, sexy-ass husband licking ice cream off his lips and begging JC to pullover and join him. But on the other hand, Justin was offering ketchup and ice cream, which was not a crotch tingler. JC decided to use his favorite route, the 'undecided' route, to answer Justin.
"Hmm?"
Justin was not one to be deterred, especially when he wanted some of his JC. "JC," Justin moaned, "Baby, look at me." Luckily, JC pulled up to a stop sign and looked at his husband.
"Look," Justin rested his sundae bowl on the dashboard and dragged his right hand over his lips, down his neck, past his chest, lightly dragged his fingers over his swollen belly to the zipper of his pants. He played with his zipper while burning JC with his 'come hither' stare. "You listening, baby?"
JC nodded. He liked Justin, hell he loved Justin especially a horny Justin, which equaled into an insatiable Justin, which was finger licking good. And if Justin kept looking at him like that JC might just turn right back around and head home but he saw his destination down the road, three houses away. He heavily stepped on the gas pedal before he changed his mind and stopped in front of-
"Lance's house?" Justin asked, "why are we here, baby?" he pouted and pulled his hand out of his pants.
"I figured we might as well get the invitations." JC shrugged.
"But I thought that we were gonna-"
"Oh believe me baby, we are most definitely gonna do a lot of that." JC winked salaciously.
Justin hurriedly opened the passenger door. "Then let's hurry up and get this over with. I want you so bad, even more than my damn ice cream." JC climbed out of the jeep and went around the other side to hold Justin's hand as they walk up the front of Lance's house. JC rang the doorbell with his left hand while he held and kissed Justin's hand, in the other.
"Where in the hell is Lance? His damn car is in the driveway. Shit, I have to pee." Justin complained. He began to wiggle, which JC dubbed 'The Pee-Pee Jig', even nine months pregnant Justin 'jigged' with a dancer's grace.
"Hmm, maybe we should try the back? I have his back door key, we can get in through there."
"Ok," Justin dragged JC to the side of the house, doing a combo of march-waddling to the back gate, "It's like this kid has made my damn bladder, its damn sofa cushion. I-"
"SURPRISE!!"
Justin tightened his hold on his husband's hand, as he looked at his entire baby shower list invitees, smiling back at him in Lance's backyard.
"Oh...my, my," Justin blinked widely and dragged JC and himself through Lance's back door. The baby shower guests looked at the couple weirdly, but JC was a step ahead. He called out from behind his shoulder, "Sorry, bathroom break."
The group collectively nodded and said "Oh."
Justin brought the both of them to the nearest bathroom, closed the door, let go of JC's hand and made his way to the toilet. "Explain," he muttered to JC as he happily relieved himself.
"Well, see, Lance and me...we had the shower planned out from the beginning. I knew you would find out somehow, so I let you plan your own."
"But I had caterers and a DJ and everything?"
"I know. Do you know that Lance and I had to call them back right after you booked them."
"Lance was in this the whole time?"
"Yep."
"What about my ice cream? Did you really eat all of my Double Fudge Brownie Madness? You like really broke my heart." Justin zipped up his pants, washed his hands and sat down on the toilet to look at JC, who was leaning against the closed door.
"No." Justin exhaled loudly. "I hid it in the downstairs freezer. You know I wouldn't eat all of it. But I had to make you leave the house and make it look natural. Say 'Let's go'. You would have questioned me or thrown a hissy fit."
"I know. I am so sorry about that. I don't know what came over me," Justin lifted himself off the toilet and began to waddle across the spacious bathroom, to his husband. He stopped an arm's length away and looked at JC perplexedly.
"What's wrong?" JC crossed the miniscule distance and held Justin's shoulders.
"Um, I think my water broke. Surprise." Justin finished off faintly.
The End