BACK
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Chapter 8: IT'S WAR!
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=-=-=-=-=
IT'S WAR
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Once the poorly shot video of the sergeant asking you to join the army is over,
lead Conker down the Naughty path and stop where you see barb wire. Hop over it
and take one last look at Windy, because you're not coming back for a while.
Enter the door.
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POWER'S OFF
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Though your first order of business may look like removing the plane, it's
actually to return power to the base. Hop into the water where you'll find an
eel swimming around. There are also three semi-circles attached to the floor of
the water that give the power. The eel is the only one with power, and since he
likes to follow you, guide him through all three of the rings. After all three
are powered up, the eel will die and the power will return... along with a B
pad. Hop back out of the water and load up on chocolate. NOW it's time to clear
the way.
=-=
TNT
=-=
Move the steel crate in front of the muddy ramp near the entrance. Then, head
up
the ramp and along the path to find a bathroom at the end. Knock on it with B
to
see a cut scene of a strange man with TNT attached to his back. He'll ask you
to
give him a little push, as well. Run around to his back and start pushing him
forward and down the ramp. He should be stopped by the crate. Now you can lead
him two ways: the left, and the right. The right is a lot easier, if you know
what you're doing.
RIGHT: If you don't see two big boxes full of explosives, you know you're going
down the path on the right. The path seems relatively empty at first, but rest
assured it's full of spider mines. There are eight of them in total, and
they're
easy to dodge if you know where they are. The first two are near the edge
(opposite of the wall), so hug the wall to avoid them. The next two are the
exact opposite, so once you pass the first two, head back to the outer part of
the path. Once you pass those two, there will be one near the edge almost
immediately after the fourth, so make a sharp turn to avoid that one. The last
three are near each other, all positioned on opposite edges. The first is on
edge, then the wall, then the edge again. Weave through them, then continue to
the end of the path. Drop off your doomed purple guy there, then head back to
the B pad. Aim at your purple TNT man (and a little bit higher), then fire.
He'll explode along with half the plane. Go back up the ramp and knock on the
door again to get another purple TNT man. This time, take him along the left
path.
LEFT: The left path is pretty much all about pattern and timing. Wait until one
of the boxes with explosives is about to jump forward (he'll be on the left),
then as soon as he jumps, start pushing forward (make sure you're on the left
too). The boxes will be faster then you, so you should make it without too many
problems. The second obstacle will be a rising and falling crate. Just wait
until it falls, then start pushing against it. When it rises, you'll pass it
before it even gets all the way up. The last two obstacles are the same as the
first two, except slightly closer to each other, so use the same strategy to
get
the second man to the end of the path. Again, run back to the B pad and shoot
the doomed guy, totally destroying the plane.
Walk down the steps leading to the water, and talk to the sergeant.
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THE ASSAULT
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Witness the lengthy cut scene similar to Saving Private Ryan, then take
control.
Head up and right, around the fence, and duck behind the metal jack. When the
Tediz reload, head across the open space to another metal jack. Follow the
squirrels around the fence on the left-hand side of the beach and dodge behind
the metal jack. Head across yet another open space and dodge behind another-
you
guessed it- metal jack. Once the bullets clear up, run straight ahead to a door
and a lone squirrel. After the cut scene, press B to get equipped, then grab
any
chocolate you need nearby. Like in spooky, you can use R to go into first
person
mode... except that also gives you a small target that looks like a +. Press Z
to fire, and A to reload (I never really do that, though). Shoot away at the
lock on the door, then enter.
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SOLE SURVIVOR
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After the cut scene, go into first person mode and strafe to the right (C
buttons). Prepare for your first Tediz attack! Shoot away at them. A shot to
the
head will kill them instantly, though several shots to the body also gets rid
of
them. After about 5 Tediz go down, the door in front of you will open. Head
down
the path. Put away your guns, then hold down Z and move forward to crawl under
the lasers. For the other two you can just run under the higher parts of the
laser. Behind the last box before the turn will be a piece of chocolate. Get
into first person mode with your gun after turning, because a Tediz will attack
after you take a few steps forward. Grab the chocolate if you need to, then
continue forward. After a few more steps, two Tediz will emerge behind some
boxes. Again, chocolate will be provided. Around the corner is another Tediz.
After taking it out, don't put away your guns yet. Take a few steps towards the
lasers and a Tediz will hop onto a box in front of them. Take him out, THEN put
away your guns and step in front of the group of lasers. High jump then hover,
and wait for the right moment to go through the hole. After you get through,
take out your guns because two or three Tediz will attack. Down the hall will
be
a few squares on the ceiling. When you step close to them, Tediz will pop out.
Always be on the lookout for them because you'll be seeing many. This time, two
will pop out. Kill them then continue down. As soon as you step near the first
laser, a Tediz will emerge onto the box ahead. Kill it, then go under the
higher
parts of the laser like you did earlier. Careful, though, because right after
them is a ceiling grate. They should pop out before you run under the second
laser. A few steps forward will be another grate holding two Tediz. When
they're
dead, run forward a bit and there'll be another Tediz behind the box. Kill him,
then grab any chocolate you may need. Head towards the elevator to watch the
cut
scene with a funny ending.
Put away your guns and hop over the two lasers, then instantly take your guns
out again. Take two or three steps forward, then two Tediz will attack: one
from
behind the box, and another from a ceiling grate. Take out both and jump over
the last laser. Around the corner are two Tediz that should strike before you
even turn. If you need it, grab the chocolate behind the fire barrel, then face
the next hallway. Here there are robots with flamethrowers. When you near them,
they'll start shooting straight ahead. They aren't that big a deal, just wait
for them to pause and run ahead (in first person, of course). As you step
between the first and second flamethrower robots, two Tediz will emerge. One
will runs towards you, and the other will hop on the box. Around the corner are
FOUR Tediz, so be careful after the fourth flamethrower. When you turn the
corner, you'll be greeted by more lasers. Goody. Watch out for the ceiling
grate
in front of it, which holds a lone Tediz. Go through the laser traps (I'm sure
you can figure it out), then step in front of another grate holding one Tediz.
Careful, though, because the metal crate is home to two Tediz that will emerge
only when you get close. Around the corner are three flamethrowers and some
lasers. After the third one, make SURE you're against the left wall when
rounding the corner, because SIX Tediz will attack. Lucky for you, they all
come
in a straight line, so you can shoot in pretty much the same spot the whole
time. After that, a ceiling grate will spit out a Tediz. Continue down for
another lone-Tediz ceiling grate in front of some tricky looking lasers.
Dispose
of it, then face the lasers. High jump then hover over the first two, then
carefully walk under the remaining ones. There will also be chocolate, should
you need it.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
CASUALTY DEPT.
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WHEW! You're finally done with that long sub-chapter. Enter the small hospital
room, which is a very easy one at that. Once the cut scene is over, you don't
even have to MOVE. Just get into first person mode, and shoot the hell out of
the Tediz doctors. They'll sneak around the tables, as well, but they'll be too
far to really do any damage. When you get rid of the first bunch, more will
emerge from ceiling grates, and they shouldn't be a pain at all. The last one
is
a giant doctor, but he won't be that tough either. Once the barrage of doctors
is done, head over to the other side of the room to find a squirrel. He'll ask
you to pull a switch to set him free, but regardless of which one you pull,
he'll be fried. Once he fries, pull the other one to open the door... and enter
a VERY annoying room.
Okay, dodge in front of the stack of boxes, and run from stack to stack when he
reloads. When you reach the last one, wait for him to reload, then run across
the room and behind him, then stand behind a metal pipe. Wait for a few seconds
before he reloads, then jump onto the rope. Climb as very little as you
possibly
can, then jump up. Dodge behind the metal pipe, and wait for him to reload.
Then, quickly run to the end to find a B pad and get a bazooka. Shoot the
Tediz,
hop down, grab some chocolate, and prepare for some hairy moments.
Alright, a barrage of Tediz will pop out of both sides of the room and attack
you. Every time you wipe out a bunch, less and less will come out, but there is
always pressure. Inbetween attacks, jump out of the turret (A) and grab
chocolate, then hop back in. Always get rid of Tediz that are close, then work
your way back. This part requires a LOT of skill, so this may take you a while.
Those tips above are pretty much all I can really give you, so good luck. When
you're done, the door will open. Jump out and grab some chocolate. Then head
down the path and out the door. Good job! That was one of the toughest parts of
the war (Even though it's quite easy when mastered)! Say, is that the master
plan on the wall?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SAVING PRIVATE RODENT
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After watching your friend Rodent being attacked, get ready for a surprise
assault. Take your time and aim at the general, as he is the most dangerous and
they won't see you until you fire. After the general goes down, strafe left and
take out the remaining Tediz. They have better guns then the average Tediz, so
be quick. After Rodent and Conker do some catching up, it's time to head down
the path full of spider mines and bombers. When a bomb falls, it'll cast a
shadow, so just jump in the other direction and you'll be fine. When you see a
spider mine, quickly run behind Rodent's bulletproof clothing and you'll be
fine
again. When you reach the other side, Rodent and you will split up. Run down
the
path he takes, then turn right along the dock and hop into a small purple boat
with a B pad built into it. Conker will take out a bazooka. Use it to shoot all
four of the fireball-looking things on the lock on the giant door to open it.
Chances are, the Tediz that land will kill you before you reach the door. No
worries, when you reappear, the door will still be opened, so just run to it
quickly with Rodent (while dodging the Tediz that will chase you), then enter
the next area.
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CHEMICAL WARFARE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
After you enter the Tediz-less area, hop into the class 22 tank. Its controls
are pretty simple; Z to shoot, C left and C right to rotate the turret gun, A
to
hop out, and R to go into first person. Shoot the small door to the left of the
big one, then hop out of the tank and go in. This room has three acid pools,
and
three spider mines. Jump over the acid pool, then when you reach the other
side,
hover back and land where you jumped. The spider mine should just run into the
pool and leave you harmless. Once you reach the end, high jump to grab onto the
lever to open the door outside... and start acid to overflow. Run as fast as
you
can back to where you entered, and hover as little as possible over the pools
since it slows Conker down. Rather then using the ladder, just high jump at the
end and run out the door to avoid being drowned in acid. Hop back into the tank
and through the door to enter the tower.
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THE TOWER
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Though at first the tower may seem intimidating, it's really not that big a
deal. The objective is to shoot out all four legs of the tower, but giant metal
plates cover certain areas, making you have to circle the whole thing. However,
some bridges need lowering, and to do so requires to get out of the tank. Right
away, go into first person mode and shoot out the first leg. Wait for the giant
light to be facing away from you, and hop out. Hover over to the other island,
and jump onto the other side. Quickly run up the bridge and use the B pad to
unleash Anvil Conker and lower the bridge. Hop back into the tank and run over
the Tediz, then cross the other bridge and go across the narrow island while
smushing three other Tediz. When you reach the other bridge that needs
lowering,
go into first person and knock out the second leg. Again, wait for the light to
face away, and hop out and hover to the other island. Using Anvil Conker yet
again and hop back into the tank. The next bunch of Tediz may be a bit
trickier,
but keep trying and you'll eventually smush them. Cross the odd shaped bridge
and meet the last one you'll need to lower. Shoot out the third leg, wait for
the light, and hop out. This time, there are three Tediz behind the bridge, so
be quick about getting to the B pad and hopping back into the tank. Smush all
the Tediz, including one behind you, cross the bridge, shoot out the last leg,
and hop into the new hole.
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LITTLE GIRL
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Head down the metallic platform and into the center of the ground to find a
little girl crying. After talking to her, go to the giant stone carving where
you can see submarines shooting missiles. After one has been shot, head back
out
and onto the platform sticking out with a B pad. Use the bazooka to shoot at
the
submarines. Careful, though, because of the constant waves you might miss. If a
submarine shoots out a missile, immediately track it and shoot it. You wouldn't
want it to hit you, would you? Once three subs are destroyed at this area, head
to the next one with 6 waiting to be destroyed. This time, though, there will
be
two at a time, meaning more frequent missiles coming your way. Once that lot
has
been taken care of, go to the last station with VERY frequent attacks and two
subs at a time. You'll need to get very good shots here, or else consider
yourself toast. There are eight at this station, and when they're taken care
of,
go back to the little girl to find out her shocking truth.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
THE EXPERIMENT
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Rodent will warn Conker just a bit too late, and the experiment will come out
and battle you. Quickly run and hop into the tank and ride into one of those
stone carvings, where you'll be safe. Though the experiment's weapons may be
impressive, they're nothing due to the fact that they need to reload. You
advantage here is that your turret can face other direction then the tank. Face
it towards the experiment, and wait for it to reload. Then, press forward (not
side, forward, because the tank is facing a different direction) and when
you're
out of safety, fire, then go back in. That should get rid of one of the
weapons.
Do the same to the other. When the giant experiment charges, quickly get out of
the stone carving and go into first person. Shoot the girl to knock her off,
then when the giant experiment bends over to pick her up, shoot a small button
that pops open in the back of the experiment. If you do this right, you'll
barely have to move from your safety. Head back into the carving and listen to
the girl rant about her plasma thingies. Since these don't reload, head to one
side of the carving for it to shoot there, then quickly head out the other and
fire. Do this twice, then repeat the above. Now the girl will use missiles;
again, wait for her to reload then fire the hell outta one of them. After the
button has been hit a third time, the little girl will use spider mines to
destroy your tank and knock Rodent out. Afterwards, she'll use a self-destruct
button. That's right, buddy, you've got 4:30 minutes (that's 270 seconds) to
get
the hell out of here. Start running.
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COUNTDOWN
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Hop down the hole right in front of you to end up in a shaky hallway full of
lasers and a few Tediz. Use the following to get by the lasers:
LASERS 1: Stay to the left and high jump, then immediately hover over the
lasers.
LASERS 2: Crawl under all four of them. The black line on the floor should be
your route.
LASERS 3: Stay on the left and hover at an angle to end up on the right side.
LASERS 4: Jump onto the box, then hop and hover between the hole in the lasers.
Around the corner are two Tediz, so be careful.
LASERS 5: Hop onto the box (with your guns in your pockets) and quickly crawl
between them. Around the corner is another Tediz.
LASERS 6: A bit tough to see, but jump onto the box and crawl under the first
laser, then jump at the edge of the box and hover over the last one.
LASERS 7: Oh, this is a tough one! How about we crawl under them?
You'll now lose your guns. Go to the other side, where blue lasers will
suddenly
block off the exit. Press B to take out a bazooka, and kill the Tediz that
emerge from the room. There are only three of them, so no biggie. Now it's time
for the utterly overrated BEACH.
Okay, grab chocolate to the left, and head down the path. Kill the first Tediz
with your bazooka- this will be the only one you will. Many guides have given
insanely complex ways to kill all the Tediz and THEN go to the boat. But to
that, I say: pfffft. All you have to do is go in a zigzag direction while
jumping like mad, and you should be better off. It may take you three or four
tries, but it's a LOT better then all that crazy nonsense about killing all the
Tediz. Once at the boat, enjoy the final sub-chapter... if you can even
consider
it to be one.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=
PEACE AT LAST
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The war's over, you survived, and the Tediz stronghold has exploded.
Congratulations!
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CHAPTER 9: THE HEIST
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THE WINDMILL'S DEAD
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After leaving the navy base and re-entering Windy, look around and you should
notice quite a lot of damage. Run towards Mrs. Bee's hive destroyed (along with
herself), and cross the bridge. Go through the giant piece of wood and up the
hill (There won't be any worms this time). At the top, Conker will see the
ruined windmill and talk to Rodent. Once he leaves, jump down the hole ahead
and
go through the cave to enter an area you couldn't reach earlier. Walk around
the
side of the building and step in front of the Boss. He'll assign you to rob the
Feral Reserve Bank, along with Berri. Get in that skin tight leather and take
out your guns, because a Matrix spoof is in order.
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ENTER THE VERTEX
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After an awesome introduction full of guns, run down in front of the pillar. In
this sub-chapter, you must advance down the hallway going from pillar to
pillar,
using the B pads in front of each one to do a deadly jump and shoot all the
guards. The jump will be on slow motion, and there'll be a blue target. Use Z
to
fire, and the analog stick to move around the target. When the person turns
red,
that's when you know that if you shoot you'll hit him. You have to do it right,
though, because there's no chocolate in this bank. When in the air, Berri will
take hits for you. The number of guards at each pillar will increase, so near
the last few, the best time to jump is when you hear a loud shot of "Regroup!".
If you wait too long, though, the guards will shoot out the pillar and leave
you
defenseless. After about 5 pillars, you'll reach the elevator and ride up to
the
cash.
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THE VAULT
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It's time for the final sub-chapter of the game. I won't spoil the cut scene,
so let's just get down to the boss strategy. After watching the dramatic cut
scene, jump onto the switch attached to the big platform to open an airlock and
an alcove. Hop into the alcove to get into a space suit, where you'll be able
to fight the alien. After he knocks Berri into space, get used to your
controls.
A = Jump
Hold down A = Hover for a few seconds
B = Punch
Z = Shield
The alien has two attacks; leaning back then head-butting you, and spinning
around his tail. He'll do the latter more often then the head-butt. When he
head-butts you, just press Z to shield yourself with your hands. When he spins,
tap A (don't hold it down) to jump over his tail. Once you catch him off-guard,
continuously tab B in front of him to punch him four times. Once he's down,
step around and grab his tail. Like in Super Mario 64, you'll have to spin him
around. But unlike Super Mario 64, you have to throw him out of an airlock, AND
you don't have to spin as rapidly. Spin slowly then get slightly faster until
his claws no longer touch the ground. Spin him around three or four more times
in the air, then aim and press A to throw him out of the airlock. You'll need
to do this twice more. The second time he dodges more often, so you'll have to
be quicker. He'll also jump over your head sometimes, so back up a bit when
he's in mid-air to avoid being hit while the camera spins. After he's been
thrown out the second time and come back in, he'll need one more good throw
out. By now it's as likely to get him down after a tail spin as it is to win
the lottery, so you'll have to punch him rapidly IMMEDIATELY after dodging a
head-butt (He'll be off guard after being hit by your steel hands). Once he's
out the air lock a third time, the final cut scene will play.
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END CUTSCENE
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A big congratulations to you on finishing Conker's Bad Fur Day. Now it's time
to enjoy one of the greatest game endings on any video game system. I won't
spoil any of it, so just sit back and watch the not-so happy ending to the
game.
All that's left to do now is to finish the game a second time.
Back to the Cock and Plucker
