Chapter 8
“So, where are we going?” I finally asked Taylor after about 15 minutes of what seemed like erratic, aimless driving and small talk.
“I don’t know, you want to go to a party?” he asked.
I thought about it second. I wondered just what kind of a party it was. Did he assume it was a type of party I wouldn’t like, and that’s why he was a little hesitant. Maybe, but I didn’t know what else we were going to do. “Yeah that’s fine. Whatever you want to do,” I finally said.
Soon he pulled into this park on the outskirts of town. “My friends and I usually hang out here” he explained. “There should be a lot of people.”
We made our way to a small, but continually growing group of people. He introduced me to a number of people, and I found myself enjoying my time for at least a little while.
I soon noticed the absence of Taylor. I continued to talk and meet new people, but they would come and go. Some were nice, but some were quite different. Eventually I looked around and found myself standing alone in a massive group of people, all laughing and having a good time but me. Music was blaring from somewhere, and I noticed how much alcohol was being passed around.
Suddenly I was scared. Taylor wasn’t insight, and I knew next to know one. Plenty of people were drunk, and I knew I wasn’t safe being a young, defenseless female under those circumstances.
I began to push my way through the crowd, searching for Taylor. I cringed when I found him, with a group of guys, holding a can of beer. I walked up to him and discretely pulled him away from his friends.
“Taylor, I want to go home,” I said once we were out of earshot.
“Why?” he asked casually taking a swig out of his can.
I pulled it out of his hand. “Because of this” I told him tossing it aside. “You leave me all alone with people I don’t know, and I find you in the midst of getting drunk. I’m sorry, but I number one, I deserve to be treated better. And number two, I like to see my friends, not have them continually grounded for getting wasted and caught every weekend.”
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Taylor
Her words stung me. Partly because it was an accident, and partly because she was right. “Alright, let’s go” I said quietly, and started towards the car. She quickly followed.
“Give me your keys Taylor,” said halfway there.
“Why, I’ve only had one drink” I told her. It was lie, I’d had two or three, but I didn’t feel much of anything.
“I don’t care, give them to me” she insisted. Maybe she was right. I handed them over.
I went around to the passenger side of my car as she got into the driver’s seat. She pulled away, and started our silent drive back to my house. I leaned my head against the cool car window trying to comfort the growing headache and nausea I was feeling. I couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or guilt.
When she finally pulled into my driveway and turned off the car, she turned towards me as if she wanted to say something, but then she thought better of it. I offered her a weak smile. She just handed me my keys back and got out of the car.
I got out of my side and watched her descend the driveway to her own car. Just before she got in she looked up into my eyes from a distance. “Bye” I offered quietly. I don’t even know if she heard me.
I quietly let myself in the house. I found my dad watching TV in the living room, and let him know I was home before heading to my room. He didn’t ask any questions. Sometimes I felt like he partially understood me, or at least tried to put himself in my shoes sometimes. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. Maybe he had just got tired of trying to keep such a tight leash on me. He was going to let me learn my own lessons. Either way, I was grateful to have a little room for doubt, especially tonight.
I trudged up to my room, took off my jeans and practically fell into bed in my tee shirt and boxers. I felt really sick right then, and I was pretty sure it was the effects of guilt more than the alcohol. I had messed up that night, and I was afraid it would cost me a friendship. For over an hour I turned dismal and angry thought in my mind before falling into a restless sleep.
