Chapter 9
Cindy
I was just sure that Taylor was angry with me. He hadn’t said anything during the car ride home, and then I hadn’t heard anything from him on Sunday. Monday morning, the bell to begin history class rang with no sign of Taylor. That confirmed my theory in my head. He’d been on time everyday the past week, even early a couple days, just so he could talk with me before class started. Now he was purposely avoiding me because I had ruined his fun on Saturday night.
What could I do though? I panicked, I couldn’t stay, and I didn’t have any other way to get home besides Taylor. He’d have to understand that right? He would if he was a good friend. But I knew Taylor was different. I always had, I just didn’t want to admit it. Sure, he could be a nice guy sometimes, but he was interested in other things that I wasn’t. He looked out for himself usually and rarely for others. I suppose I couldn’t completely blame him, but it still hurt.
Five minutes into class the door flung open and in walked Taylor. It was like a repeat of what had happened the week earlier, the first day I’d met him. He made a dramatic entrance, while the teacher rolled her eyes and didn’t say anything. Again, my eyes were glued to him. Last time I was taking in the sight of such a gorgeous man for the first time, this time I was searching for any signs of acknowledgement. Unlike last time, however, he did not sit in the empty seat next to me. Instead he walked to a seat across the room, avoiding my stare.
My heart ached. Not only was extremely attracted to him, but I had become so close with him in such a short time. Friendships like that were few and far between for me. I valued every one of them, and I wasn’t ready to give this one up. I wanted to cry, to scream, to do anything to ease my pain, but I couldn’t. Instead I just sat motionless staring at the wall in front of me. I let nothingness take over in my mind. If I just didn’t think at all, I wouldn’t think about Taylor, and then I could get through the class.
It worked partially. For a while I forgot about everything. Then, carelessly I let my head turn, and look in his direction. At first nothing registered. I looked at him and felt nothing. Then I notice him turn and look at me, straight in the eye. I couldn’t read his look, I didn’t have time. My heart came crashing down again in my chest, and I turned away so he wouldn’t notice the glassy look in my eyes, the telltale sign of the tears I would not allow to stream down my face.
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Taylor
I was lost in thought again. I wasn’t really sure how to approach Cindy. She must have been angry with me for being so careless. I got scared and decided not to say anything at all. It was hard in history class that morning. I saw her looking at me a couple times, but I couldn’t acknowledge it. It was probably for the best anyway.
“Yo Hanson” I was vaguely aware of the fingers being snapped in front of my face. “You there?” It was my friend Mark again. We were sitting at a table at lunch together, but I was pretty sure I was being lousy company.
“What?” I finally asked confused.
“Come in space cadet” he said in a funny voice. “What on earth has got you so preoccupied lately?”
“Oh, sorry. Nothing really” I lied. I didn’t really feel the need to bore him with the details of yet another screwed up part of my life.
“Right, nothing” he mocked me. “Couldn’t be that girl you’ve been hanging out with lately could it? I saw you guys leave together Saturday night. Did you guys have some fun?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I shot him an evil stare.
“No, and quit suggesting that I’m a player every time I so much as look at a girl, because I’m about to kick your ass for it” I threatened.
“Okay, forget it. You don’t have to get so defensive about it. What happened anyway?” he asked. I figured I might as well spill it. I didn’t know what I was going to do if I didn’t get it off my chest
“Well, she just moved to Tulsa, she’s a really nice girl. We were hanging out earlier that evening, so I brought her by the party so I could introduce her to some people and stuff. Well, it was going well until Jeff pulled me away. I was just going to be gone for a second, but then we started talking with all you guys, and I had some beer. I don’t really know how long I left her, but she finally found me and was pissed. So, we left, and haven’t talked since” I explained.
“Oh, I see” he said thinking it over for a minute. “Well, did you apologize?”
“No, not yet” I said.
“You are such an idiot,” he said in an exasperated tone.
“What?” I asked, not following why I had deserved that comment.
“For heavens sake, if you know you screwed up, you should at least apologize” he told me. “Can’t you see, practically every girl in the school thinks you’re god, why I have no idea, but you’re never with anyone. You need to learn how to treat a girl, and apologize when you’re wrong is rule number one.”
“Hey come on, I get with girls sometimes” I protested.
“Yeah, for a night or two” he said sarcastically. I wondered if he was purposely trying to damage my ego.
“Well fine, but she’s different.” I didn’t really know how to explain it; I never was good at the sort of thing. I just hoped he could catch onto what I was saying.
“Well figure it out, or you’re going to be miserable for a long time” he said and dramatically walked away leaving me to think.
“Yeah, great advice” I mumbled to myself. He was right though; I had to figure something out.
