Chapter 8
Four days later I was lying in bed when the phone rang. I ignored it like usual and let the machine pick it up. But instead of being a hang-up call or one of my friends or brothers wanting me to come over for some reason like usual, I heard my mom’s voice asking why she hadn’t heard from me in a week. Reluctantly I reached over and picked up the phone. “Hi mom, sorry I was asleep” I answered groggily.
“Taylor, where have you been. It’s after 2 in the afternoon. Why were you asleep” she hit me with a million questions at once.
“I know, I’m sorry. I haven’t been feeling well lately” I told her. It wasn’t far from the truth, but it was quite the understatement. The past four days had felt like an eternity. I had worked myself up about it so much that I had become physically sick. I hadn’t left the house the whole time, barely even left my bed.
“Are you okay. You’re becoming distant again,” she said. I knew she referring to the month or two right after Kristy’s death when I had done the same thing.
“Mom, I’ve been sick” I insisted.
“With what?” she pressed. She could tell something else was on my mind, but she wasn’t going to make accusations.
“I don’t know, just some kind of bug. I’m feeling a little better” I told her to get her off my case.
“Well why don’t you come over for dinner tonight. You’re brother’s are coming too” she suggested. I knew the last thing I needed was to see my older brother Isaac with his wife, my younger brother Zac with his fiancée, and the rest of my younger siblings living their happy carefree lives, but I saw no way out of it.
“Alright fine, I’ll come over in a couple hours” I agreed through clenched teeth and hung up the phone. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror across the room. Days of not showering and little sleep had taken its toll on me. I had little time to make myself look halfway decent, and I was going to need it.
**********************************************************************
I made it through dinner fine. I didn’t talk much, but I didn’t receive the funny glances I expected, only a couple from my brothers. They knew me the best, and could always tell when something was wrong. So, after dinner I wasn’t surprised to hear it from them when it was just the three of us sitting in the living room.
“So, you wanna tell us what’s wrong Taylor?” Ike asked.
“Nothing’s wrong” I snapped then scolded myself for getting so defensive so easily.
“You’re acting strange tonight. Not like yourself at all” Ike said.
“Well in case you guys forgot my wife died last year” I said sarcastically. “I haven’t exactly been myself since then. Or at least that’s what you guys are always telling me.”
I noticed my brother’s exchange glances. “Taylor, something else is wrong with you” Zac started carefully. “You’re acting like you’re back at step one. You’ve been getting so much better, especially the past few weeks. You have been yourself again.”
That struck at my heart. They had noticed a change in me. The past few weeks I’d been myself again. The past few weeks I had been with Robyn. She had done that to me. I felt a lump in my throat, and tears began to prick behind my eyes. It hurt so much. I knew I had to tell them everything, there was no way I could keep it inside now. “I met someone” I started quietly.
“Like, a woman?” Zac asked. I nodded. “And you didn’t tell us?”
“Well, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. It was all new to me, and I didn’t know how I would handle it or if it would even last” I tried to explain.
“So what happened?” Ike asked.
“Well, things went well for a while. I really liked her a lot, but it was still hard. The littlest things reminded me of Kristy. I guess I was just a little weary of it all and messed some stuff up, and she got frustrated of waiting for me to get used to it. She came over a few days ago and told me she thought I wasn’t ready for the kind of relationship she was looking for and left. I’ve been depressed ever since” I admitted.
“Alright, start from the beginning” Ike said. I took a deep breath and started my story sharing every detail I could remember.
