Chapter 16
Christine was awakened by the sound of her door opening early in the morning a few days later. She expected it to be her mom saying bye on her way to work, but when she looked over her shoulder she found Taylor standing in the doorway dressed only in a pair of cream colored pajama pants.
“I just heard your mom leave for work” he told her.
“So?” she asked in a groggy, still half-asleep voice.
“So, move over” he told her. Christine scooted over to the far corner of her bed, and Taylor slipped under the covers with her. “Good night baby,” he said placing a kiss on her cheek and then laying his head on her pillow to go back to sleep. Christine smiled to herself and did the same.
When Christine opened her eyes about 2 hours later she could still feel Taylor’s arm draped lazily across her stomach and his warm even breath on her neck. She reflected on the past week and how wonderful it had been. Taylor was scheduled to fly home the next day, and as much as she didn’t him to leave, what he had done for her a couple days earlier had meant a lot to her. She knew they could make it through more hard times, because he had given her so much hope. It made her want to give something back to him in return, but a pit rose in her stomach as she realized she wasn’t sure if she was ready to give him what she had to offer to him.
Christine turned over onto her other side so she was facing him. She studied his sleeping form not sure of her next move. He was so beautiful; there was no other way to describe it. Before she knew what she was doing she kissed the tip of his nose to wake him up. “Hey sleepyhead” she teased him as he woke up.
“Good morning to you too” he said laughing after he had managed to open his eyes. “You know what, I think I like waking up next to you in the morning.”
“Hmm, me too” she agreed with a grin on her face before giving him another kiss, this time on the lips. The one little kiss turned into many more Christine leading the whole time. She even went so far as to roll over on top of him and place a knee on either side of his hips. Taylor was a little surprised by her boldness, but he certainly didn’t mind it. Instead he took it as an opportunity to take things a little further. He pushed her shirt up a bit and ran his hands along her bare stomach and back. When she gave him no warnings to stop his hands continued their journey up her shirt until they reached her chest.
Christine’s body screamed for more. She wanted Taylor to touch her in a way she had never been touched before, but her head was screaming with warnings to stop. Her heart was pounding furiously. She tried to convince herself that it was because she was so turned on, but she knew deep down that she was scared. Part of her was so ready to give herself to him completely, yet the other part wasn’t, and she was torn between the two.
While her mind reeled with thoughts Christine couldn’t stop kissing Taylor. It felt so good, and so right. But when Taylor’s hands started to move down her body she began to sense reality. Just as the tips of his fingers reached under the waistband of her pajama pants she abruptly stopped kissing. “I-I’m sorry Taylor. I can’t do this” she stammered. With that she jumped up and headed straight for the bathroom leaving a confused Taylor behind in her bed.
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Christine took a long, hot shower trying to clear her mind. She was in a mess and she knew it. She wasn’t sure how she was going to explain what was going on in her head to Taylor. She just prayed he’d understand.
She turned the water off, dried off, and wrapped her robe tightly around her. She left the bathroom and peeked into her room. Taylor was no longer there. Then she checked the guestroom he was staying in. His back was turned to her as he was folding various clothing items strewn through-out the room and putting them into an open duffel bag sitting at the foot of the bed. She watched him feeling guilty, and wondering why he was packing already. He often lived out of a suitcase; maybe he always packed the day before he left somewhere she tried to convince herself. The thought, whether it was true or not, gave her the courage to enter the room and sit on the edge of the bed.
Neither of them spoke up at first. Taylor continued throwing clothes in the bag, and Christine watched silently. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore. “So, what are your plans for this summer?” she asked softly.
“We’ll be traveling” he told her glancing at her for a moment and then going back to his packing. “If not a full scale tour, then a bunch of promotional stuff.”
“Do you think you’ll have any time for me?” she asked dreading the answer.
“Well, our cousin can’t come along this year to help watch all the little ones, so Carrie is going to come to be with Ike. We could always use an extra hand though,” he said.
“Do you want me to come?” she asked.
That made Taylor stop what he was doing. He looked her in the eye for a moment before speaking. “Of course I do. I can’t think of anything I want more than to spend an entire summer with you” he said honestly.
Christine instinctively threw her arms around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry Tay. I didn’t mean for what happened this morning to happen. I was just so confused” she tried to explain.
“Its okay baby. If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready and I’m okay with that” he told her returning her gesture.
“But I want to be ready. I want to do this for us. I want to do it for you. I want to make you happy” Christine whispered in his ear.
Taylor stepped back and looked deep into her eyes. “Christine, you do make me happy. You make me happier than I could have ever imagined being. I want to make sure you know that.”
Christine bit her bottom lip trying to hold back some tears. She was touched by his statement, and didn’t know what to say. “Gosh, you must think all I ever do is cry” she said giggling a bit.
Taylor smiled himself. He leaned in a pressed his forehead against hers. “Its okay. I love you, and if you need to cry then go right ahead” he told her. “I’ll be here for you.”
Christine sniffled once more and then wiped the tears out of her eyes. “I think I’m done now,” she said.
“All right, let’s go enjoy our last day together then” Taylor took her hand and led her out of the room.
