Chapter 17
When Taylor got home the next day he made sure to call Christine and tell her he was home safe. Just as he was hanging up he turned around and found Zac standing in his bedroom doorway. “Geez, how long have you been standing there?” he asked.
“Only a minute” Zac told him. “Who was on the phone?”
“Hmm, I wonder. Who do I end my phone conversations with saying ‘I miss you and I love you’?” Taylor said sarcastically.
“Sorry, I guess I’m still not used to you being a one girl kind of guy” Zac explained. Taylor rolled his eyes. “So, she still denying you?” he went on to ask.
“Why do you make that sound as if it’s a bad thing?” Taylor asked not bothering to answer the question.
“I’ll take that as a yes” Zac said.
“No, we haven’t had sex yet if that’s what you are asking. Not that its any of your business, but I know you wont leave me alone until I tell you everything you want to hear” Taylor said somewhat annoyed.
“And you’re cool with that?” Zac kept probing Taylor for more dirt.
“As a matter of fact, yes I am. Christine is not ready yet and I respect her for that. I mean, we’ve been together for six months now. That maybe a long relationship for my past, but with her I feel like its only just beginning” Taylor told him.
“Yeah, but don’t you want it man?” Zac asked.
“You know what, I do, but not so I can add another girl to the list or whatever you’re probably thinking. I want to, because with Christine it’ll be like making love to her, not just screwing with some chick I just met. That’s what I’m looking forward to, and because I love her, I’m willing to wait” Taylor did his best to explain.
There was a slight pause. “What’s that far away look on your face for?” Zac finally asked.
“Well, in all honesty I was thinking about yesterday morning. I actually thought it was going to happen. We were kissing and stuff, and she was letting me do things I hadn’t done before, but it just got to a point and she stopped suddenly. I don’t know, I think she got scared” Taylor said.
“Scared? Of what, is she still a virgin or something?” Zac asked.
“Well, I guess I’ve never asked her for sure, but I’ve always figured she is. I mean, she said she hasn’t been in a lot of serious relationships, and obviously she believes in waiting until the right time. So yeah, I’m pretty sure she is still a virgin” Taylor told him.
“Wow, Taylor with a virgin. I never would have guessed” Zac said. Zac’s questioning everything had been getting on Taylor’s nerves, but now it had gone too far.
“Listen Zac, you’re really starting to annoy me here. I’ll admit it; I used to be way too into casual sex. And I probably treated a lot of woman terribly, and broke a lot of hearts, but I’m ashamed to admit it. And ever since I met Christine I’ve felt strangely changed. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t care about all that anymore. And I certainly don’t need my little brother telling me I’m not man enough or whatever, because it takes more of a man to maintain the type of relationship I’m in now then what I used to be. And I know that someday you’ll find someone special, and you’ll regret everything you’ve done in the past and wish you could take it all back” Taylor raised his voice at him.
With that Taylor brushed past Zac, out of his bedroom door, and down the stairs. He grabbed his car keys and left the house slamming the door. He wasn’t really sure where he was going to go, but he knew he had to get out and away from it all for a while.
Taylor found himself driving around and parking near the sledding hill they had visited on New Years eve. He got out of the car and walked to the top of the hill. He sat down pulling his knees to his chest. He felt bad for what he had said to Zac. He had meant every word of it, but he hadn’t meant to be so harsh. He knew he’d go back home and apologize, but for now he just wanted to sit and be alone.
Taylor clasped his arms around his knees and closed his eyes sighing heavily. He wished he could erase about three years of his life. During that time he thought he was such a ‘player’ and he was so proud of himself at the time. He never imagined that someday he’d want to take all of it back, but he that was what he wanted now, more than anything he'd ever wanted.
He also missed Christine. His heart felt strangely empty without her right there. And if this was day one of not seeing her he wasn’t exactly sure how he’d make it through the next month and a half. But he and Christine made a promise to each other to be strong for one another, and they knew they’d make it somehow.
