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IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt.
Roofers
So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
Two guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile,
when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their
ladder.
 "I
have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you
down, and then you can pick up the ladder."
"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea.
I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the
beam of light."
"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn
off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
 township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
She's Right!
A Colleague was having a hard time operating her desk-top computer.
It was apparent that she had reached the end of her patience when she muttered at the screen,
"I know one thing. If I had a glass face like you do, I'd sure behave better."
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What was NPR thinking when they hired this genius?
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the
other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns
and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws this is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General
Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly
dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
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