you may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes
lynn came back. and she didn't want to see me at all. i could just tell from the second she walked in. i may be acting immature. but i'm not the college student. and i hate her "adopted little sisters". i can't stand how she does that. she does it just to make me feel little, to make me feel like i don't matter. she was put on earth just to haunt me, to make me feel belittled and unhappy. and to make me jealous of the other ones. i can just imagine her reaction when she walked into the classroom and saw me, the other one, the reject, the unwanted one, the one she definitely went to georgia just to avoid, to get away from. and now she writes me a note. "do you want to do something over vacation? i would honestly !*love*! to see you!" she's just trying to be nice, but i know she doesn't want to do anything with me. i may take her up on it though, that'll teach her to make such outrageous offers. she's back and she's making me miserable, seeing her for a split second has ruined countless days of my life.

i wondered to myself "why are the only seniors who come back the ones i don't want to see?" but then i realized, i really don't want to see any of them. well the maybe 2 that i want to see would never talk to me anyway. they're college-bound, gone, done at notre dame, why would they come back and why would they talk to me? they both have better people to talk to...

"religion has the entire country fooled. it's making people think that there's an invisible man living in the sky that sees and knows all, and that he has a specific list of 10 things he doesn't want you to do. if you do any of these things he will send you to a place of fire and hate where you will burn and scream until the end of time. but he loves you."

i have to get braces :\

i didn't make the field hockey team. but i dwell, the season has passed.

if you can't be athletic, be an athletic supporter
man, i'm bored. i should probably go outside and play some field hockey. i have tryouts tomorrow. i'm not totally confident that i'll make the team. in fact, i'm not really confident at all. we had tryouts for varsity on monday and i'm certain they had no trouble cutting me right away. i would really like to play field hockey though. i'm nervous about that. if i don't make it though, i want to concentrate on playing the drums. i'd like to do that all year long, but with sports there's just not enough time. i'm thinking of skimping out on basketball this year, and going out for jv softball. the coach already told me that he'd let me come late on thursdays if i wanted to have a drum lesson. of course, it's no wonder his team totally sucks but i do think that it's nice of him to allow the members of his team to get involved with other activities.