Mrs. Librarian's Armageddon
The headlines proclaimed as Mrs. Librarian opened
her morning paper. This news wasn't new to her because everyone on the
street had run up to her to tell her the news as she worked in her garden
early that morning. She hadn't been quite clear on the reason, though,
since they all had run back inside almost as soon as they had spit out
the news. Never mind, the paper carried all the details of how the peace
talks of the three world trade blocks had broken down and almost immediately
one had declared war on the next hoping to force the third into an alliance
with the result that each now had two enemies and no allies. Carefully
cutting out the front page from the rest of the paper, she went to her
bird cage and did the canary's housecleaning.
The knock on her front door came at the usual time.
"Have you heard? It's war!"
"Hello, Mr. Postman. Tea is already."
"Sorry, ma'am, not today. I'm bound to have a lot
of mail to carry any day now. I've got to be getting to the post office."
"Oh, that's good news. I'm glad your not letting
the proliferation of e-mail get you down. You're looking very smart in
your uniform today."
"I just ironed it for the occasion, ma'am. This
is bound to be the Postal Service's finest hour!"
"I'm sure it will be. Good bye, Mr. Postman."
After tea she went out on the porch to read The
Pickwick Papers but got distracted watching a robin hunt for food on the
front lawn. After several minutes of fruitless hopping about the bird alit
at the sound of a truck approaching. The vehicle stopped in front of the
house and a young man in brown coveralls emerged and looked up at the power
lines.
"Hello, Mr. Linesman. How are you today?"
"Sorely troubled by recent events, Mrs. Librarian.
We should expect nuclear missiles at any moment! And as if that weren't
enough trouble for one day, I'm getting fluctuations in the power grid."
"Oh, dear. Would you like some lemonade?"
"Personally, I'd kill for a nice cold glass right
about now but duty calls. I've got to track this problem down before nightfall.
There's to be blackout tonight. You can't have a proper blackout with fluctuations
in the power grid!"
"Sorry to hear that. Good luck."
After the electric truck drove off she gradually
became aware of her new neighbor standing on her side of the fence.
"Hello there. I don't think we've been introduced
since you moved in six months ago. I'm the Librarian. Well, the retired
Librarian. They closed the library down, don't you know. Because of all
information on the internet, I suppose. And who might you be?"
"My computer is down!" The woman had a terrified
look on her face.
"Oh! What a shame. I didn't catch your name, dear."
"What am I going to do? I can't access the stock
exchange and with the inevitable volatility of the market...I'm screwed!"
"Oh, you're in investments. What was your name again?"
"And my cell phone is dead too!"
"Oh, dear..."
But before she could make another attempt at learning
her neighbor's name the distraught woman ran back inside and slammed the
door of her house.
"Mrs. Librarian!" The entire Carpenter family had
spilled out onto the lawn of their house across the street in evident confusion.
"Hello there."
"The television has gone dead!" Mr. Carpenter wailed.
"Is yours still working?" Inquired the equally alarmed
Mrs. Carpenter.
"I haven't got one, dear. If you'd care to borrow
a book or two..."
"No time for books!" Mr. Carpenter looked up at
the sky with apprehension.
"The people on the news were talking about the possibility
of a missile attack at any moment!" Mrs. Carpenter began herding the children
back inside.
"What I want to know," Mr. Carpenter said as he
took up the rear guard. "Is what we're supposed to look at now?"
"I have some lovely books with pictures!" She offered
to his retreating back.
"Pictures? And what type of pictures would we be
talking about? Nothing subversive, I hope!"
"Hello, Ms. Constable. It's a beautiful day to walk
your beat."
"Beautiful! Don't talk to me about beautiful! I
was just at the supermarket and all the bar code scanners are malfunctioning!
It's a horrible mess. You can't sell groceries without a scanner. I had
to close the place down and send everybody home."
"That sounds awful. Would you like some milk and
cookies to relieve the stress?"
"You you wouldn't by any chance be trying to bribe
an officer of the law now would you?"
"I'm just trying to be friendly, I'm sure."
"I don't recommend that sort of behavior. It could
be considered subversive by certain people less open minded than myself.
But I've got no time for idle chatter. The traffic light at the intersection
is out of order and I've got to take charge of the situation."
"Good-bye, Ms. Constable."
It was getting to be late in the day so Mrs. Librarian
went inside to prepare her dinner. There was no electricity so she started
a fire in her wood stove and made some stew. She had a pleasant evening
reading by candle light then went outside and looked at the stars for a
while before retiring for the night.
The next day, after her usual small breakfast, she
went out to do her gardening and was surprised to see the entire Carpenter
family staring at her from their house. They were all in different windows
but they all had the same blank look on their faces.
"Poor dears. They must really miss their television."
"Television? There's no television!" Said an authoritative
voice from behind the shrubs. A pair of hands made an opening in the bushes.
"Television is a thing of the past, there's only law and order now!"
"Good morning, Ms. Constable."
"Good?! What's so good about a state of anarchy?"
"Oh, dear. I hadn't noticed any anarchy, are you
sure?"
"Sure? Sure I'm sure! The police station is packed
with anarchists!"
"Where did they come from?"
"The citizenry, of course. Nothing good ever comes
from that lot!"
"How do you know they're anarchists?"
"The came down to the station to - and they admit
it - get information! All of them! Conspiracy, I call it!"
"Maybe they just wanted to know what was going on."
"Exactly! Now they're finding out what goes on in
a jail cell."
"Are you going to let them out?"
"No can do. The doors run on electricity and the
power has gone out everywhere."
"What a shame."
"Oh, I don't know. It saves on paper work. You can't
use an electric typewriter without electricity now can you?"
"I suppose not."
"No lawyers either. The telephones are out too.
No phones, no phone calls, no phone calls to lawyers. This situation has
some definite advantages to it. Well, enough talk. I've a town packed with
citizenry to deal with."
"Good luck."
"Luck? Luck's got nothing to do with it when you're
carrying one of these babies," she twirled her night stick and thenslammed
it into the palm of her hand.
"You haven't seen Mr. Postman, have you? He's usually
come for his tea by this time of the morning."
"You could say I've seen him. I've seen him locked
up in a cell at the station!"
"My goodness, what did he do?"
"Nothing! That's what first attracted my attention.
Always carrying a mailbag but never delivers anything. I've had my eyes
on him for years but it was only with the sudden outbreak of anarchy that
I finally decided to nip him in the bud!"
"But Ms. Constable, he doesn't have anything to
deliver because everybody uses e-mail. I'm sure he's harmless, won't you
please let him out?"
"No can do. There won't be any more electricity,
I've locked Mr. Linesman too. Damned anarchists! Speaking of which, I've
got to make my rounds. I'll be keeping an eye on you, Mrs. Librarian."
"When will I see you again?"
"Wouldn't you like to know! When you least expect
me, expect me!" she said as she disappeared into the shrubs. But, in fact,
not only did Ms. Constable not keep an eye on Mrs. Librarian, she was never
seen by that respectable woman ever again no matter how much she wasn't
expected. Mr. Postman also was never heard from again even though his tea
was ready and waiting for him. It must be further admitted that there were
no visitors at all as days stretched into weeks. True, early on she saw
quite a bit of the Carpenters but as time went by their increasingly wan
faces decreased in number until, finally, there were only empty windows.
But Mrs. Librarian kept busy with her gardening
and soon summer turned to fall. Her garden plants withered and died as
all living things must in their own time - even humanity - but she occupied
her time with raking leaves and planning next years garden. When winter
finally came, she warmed herself by the stove and read books while wind
serenaded her by sighing through the barren trees.
© 2000 by Michael Sullivan
All Rights Reserved