I think that my friends Jeremy and Patty were the first people that I came out to.  I wasn't quite ready, but I really did feel that I was hiding an important part of myself from them.  Although they accepted it without a second thought, I still wasn't at all comfortable with this aspect of myself, so I continued only dating girls at that point.  This was my freshman year of college, so I was still getting comfortable with myself.  I had several gay friends at this point though, so I was on the road ....I guess.  We didn't talk about it after that at all, it was just something that was there and wasn't really acknowledged.  Let me just input that it was me that was uncomfortable with it at this point, not them.

    Life took a few odd twists for me, and after a miserable attempt at trying to live together, Patty and I didn't speak for a long time.  Jeremy and I kind of drifted apart, as he was still in High School, and I was always busy with schoolwork or restaurant work, so the three of us didn't see very much of each other over the next year.  I met my friend Heather at this really cool coffee shop in Manchester, CT, which is now closed.  I walked in with Robespierre, my Jibba-Jabba, and we instantly hit it off.  I came out to her a few days later, although soon after telling her this, she completely forgot.  Once again, this was more my fault then hers.  Normally I buried it so well that no one would dare question me about it!  Heather introduced me to her ex-girlfriend Maggie, with whom I also made a really good connection with.  I obviously came out to Maggie as well, and she really supported me, which helped me accept that part of myself a lot faster then would have been otherwise possible.  She asked me questions about it, and I really felt connected talking about it with her, as she too knew what it was like being bisexual.

    Now this is where the heavy clubbing started.  I met someone one night whom I found myself attracted to, and we spent a lot of time talking.  When I went home, my mother, who was staying with me at that time, was out.  I went to bed, as I was very tired.  When she came home, she asked me where I had been.  I told her that I had met someone.  "Can I have a name?" was her reaction to that.  "Sure."  "Okay, what is it?"  "Trevor."  (Short silence here.)  "Are you trying to tell me something?"  "No, ma, I think I just told you something."  That was most of it, then she gave me the whole "Whatever you do, I support you" type talk, which was very cool, and good for me.  She let me know that whatever happened, I'm always her little baby, and she's there for me.  *Whew*  Lucked out, didn't I?  This gets interesting.  The guy I met never called, and I tried calling him a few times, with no results.  Well, after waiting three days, I decided, "Screw it!" So he was yesterday's news as far as I was concerned, and not a total loss, as I DID come out to my mom because of him.

    Fast forward a bit, and I have been dating Joe for about two months.  My friend Bree had just come back to working at Angellino's, and was not ready for the reception I had waiting.  Let me explain that this place was a total rumor zoo, so a couple of friends and I decided that we'd start a rumor that I was a stripper.  On Bree's first day back, she hears this and almost dies from shock!  So as she's all stunned about this, I walk by her and whisper, "That's not all Bree, I have also had a boyfriend for the past two months."  Well, I don't think that I need to tell you that she nearly died on the spot!  We went to her house afterward, and I explained everything to her, that the stripper thing was just a rumor, blah blah blah.  She was wary of the whole thing in the beginning, as this was something that she didn't have to deal with before, but she's been there for me every step of the way, even when she was really having a hard time with it.  From here, I slowly let most people in the restaurant in on my little "secret."  Wow, once again, I lucked out.  I didn't run into any difficulties here at all.

    Now for the hard part.  Don't think that my dad is a closed-minded person, because he's not.  It's just that at the time, we were still developing our relationship, as things with the divorce and custody battles were very messy, and neither of us really knew how to bridge the gap.  My dad and step-mom love me very much, but I don't know, I think I was almost afraid of losing what we had been working so hard to regain.  Anyway, I had brought Joe over one day to meet my family, and he and my little brother Greg, (the cutest kid in the world, and if you disagree, I'll have to kill you,) got along splendidly.  My step-mom had a friend over, so I was unfortunately forced to wait a bit more for the "big revelation."  So two weeks later I came back down from visiting Joe, and I decided to stop at my dad's house to tell them.  My dad and little brother were gone, as Greg had a soccer game, but my step-mom was home, and we sat down and talked for about two and a half hours before I finally got what I wanted to say out.  To my relief, she found it a relief.  They had been worried about me as I always have seemed lonely to them, and even when I was in a relationship, they usually ended horribly.  I was unable to tell my dad, as I didn't want to tell him in front of my little brother, but he called me that night and told me that He and Beth had spoken about it, and he was just worried that I didn't tell him because of the male thing.  Well, I did kind of lie, I told him that losing his love had nothing to do with it, and that I just didn't tell him because of Greg.  Sorry dad!!!  Anyway, I was once again lucky, and he told me that he's happy that I came to grips with it, and that I found someone.  Coolness or what?

    So from here coming out was easy.  When I moved up here, I decided that being in the closet was not where I wanted to be, so I started my life here completely honest.  When people asked, I told them that my husband and I live together.  If they didn't ask, I didn't go out of my way to shove it in their faces.  If the subject ever came up, I would say something about my husband, not hiding anything, but I never made an effort to push my views on anyone.  I live my life like this as a rule now, and I don't think that I have really come across any real negativity because of it.  Some people are surprised, but that's to be expected.   As a result of all of this, I am a complete advocate of coming out to friends and family. My thoughts on coming out.