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| Georgia fucking Tech |
To Hell With Georgia (8/17/01)You might think that I'm fucking pissed by the title of this week's rant. Quite the contrary. I was forced to yell "To Hell With Georgia" at the top of my lungs during orientation, and pretty soon I will be recieving a hat that says "RAT" on it which I will be forced to wear at all times (I think that's horseshit, but my dad told me that). The one thing that made me cream my jeans with excitement is the amount of free food available. And there's more to come when I steal all the food from the frats during rush. This school definately is fucked up in some ways though. I walked into the DJ's room at a party for freshmen, and I was literally the only person there. The fucking DJ was playing shit for himself. What the fuck kind of school is this? Maybe, just maybe I'm not the nerdiest person here. There is also a genuine hatred for the University of Georgia, this isn't like the rivalry between high schools back home, they fucking HATE each other. It rivals even my animosity towards Richard Simmons. I have thrown my heterosexuality into complete uncertainty. If it wasn't for feeling intrigued when I see a large dick in a porno movie, I know that letting a friend give me a facial at Origins makes me a fucking faggot. The worst part is that I kind of enjoyed it. I ran away without paying because I felt violated, like an innocent man feels when a cop rams a nightstick up his ass, and I'll be damned if I spend my hard earned money that my parents gave me for such humiliation. My parents didn't even bother telling me not to drink. The first thing my dad said when he saw my room was "Holy shit, the bathroom is right across the hall! If you get drunk and need to puke you don't have to go very far!" My mom just told me not to drink anything someone else opened for me, in case they put ruffies in it. Yeah fucking right, if only I could be so lucky as to have a girl rape me. Girls, if you ever think about raping me, it's not necessary, just ask, and no matter how fat or butt-the-fuck ugly you are, it's unlikely that I'll say no. It would be even nicer if you came up with a creative line, instead of "Wanna fuck?" (which is still perfectly acceptable), you can ask "Can I comb your cock beard?". Hell, you don't even need to say anything if you don't want to; just reach your hands down my pants and grab my big boy, I'll get the idea. There's a fast food joint, called The Varsity, a block from my dorm that puts even Jack in the Box's blatant violation of the health code to shame. I thought the dining hall food was shit. In comparison, The Varsity is fly-ridden Mexican burro diarrhea. The burgers and onion rings are so fucking greasy that you'll need a handful of napkins, and much like taking a really messy shit, no amount of wiping afterwards will truly convince you that you're clean. The place is dirt cheap though, and I can take comfort that a single chili dog will work just as well as Ex-Lax should I ever run out of cash. Classes are about to start, and one guy already told me that if I'm in his psychology class that he'll give me an A. I guess that's what my parents meant when they said I should get to know my professors. I can already tell there's no fucking way I'm getting an A in my Comp Sci class because my dorm floor has an Unreal Tournament server going, and seeing as my RA basically told me that nobody gets an A in anything here, it's unlikely I'll do well in Calc or History. But fuck that, I've got to play some UT. |
