Chris knew he wasn’t alone, yet the soft humming he heard just before he’d fallen asleep had stopped. He opened his eyes carefully and knew it was late. The lights were turned down and a woman he didn’t recognize stood before his bed. He frowned as he tried to remember who she was, but no name came to mind.
Jenny, knew the patient was waking up and she smiled at the green eyes staring at her. At fifty-two years of age she’d spent over half her life as a nurse, twelve of those at Washoe Medical. The long time nurse knew no matter how many times a patient woke up in ICU they needed the reassurance that things would be okay. She turned a warm blue gray gaze at the injured man and tried to reassure him.
“Hello, Chris, my name is Jenny and I’ll be helping to care for you tonight. Is there anything I can get you?”
“Thirsty,” Larabee answered.
“Well, I have some ice chips right here. Would you like to try some?” The blond head dipped once and Jenny lifted the oxygen mask. She placed the spoon of ice chips before his mouth and smiled at the grateful look on his face when he accepted the offering. She gave him a second helping and watched as the green eyes closed and seemed to savor the moisture.
“Thanks,” he said and noted the absence of his friends. He remembered telling Standish they didn’t need to come back, that he’d be okay, but there was a part of him that wished someone had stayed. ‘Don’t be so fucking stupid, Larabee! Hell, you told them to go home and they finally listened to you!’ he berated himself for feeling alone, knowing the others needed time to themselves as well. He fought the weakness brought on by the emptiness he felt and sighed heavily.
“How is he doing, Jenny?”
Sea green orbs opened and relief shone in them as he heard the soft voice. He turned his grateful gaze on the newcomer and tried to get his emotions in check. “Hi, Nathan.”
“Well, hello, Chris. I thought you were gonna sleep through the night.” Nathan saw the unfamiliar look on the man’s face and wondered what his friend had been thinking about before he came back. “If I’d known you were gonna wake up I wouldn’t have left.”
“It’s okay, Nathan,” he swallowed the painful lump in his throat and smiled weakly. “I thought I told Ezra to tell you guys to stay home?”
Jackson’s eyebrows rose and he smiled at the injured man. “You may have said that, Chris Larabee, but did you really expect us to leave you alone?”
Larabee’s Adam’s Apple worked overtime as he fought to keep his volatile emotions in check. “G...guess not,” the blond mumbled. He lifted his eyes once more and met the soulful brown eyes of the medic. “Thanks, Nathan, you guys are the best.”
“Ah, hell, Chris, you’re family, we’re family, all of us and when one of us is hurting the rest of us bleed too. We’re here for the duration and you might as well give up telling us to go home or that you’re okay!”
“O...kay,” the blond answered softly. “What time is it?”
“4:45 in the morning. Now get those eyes closed and go to sleep!”
“Vin okay?”
“Vin’s fine. He’s sleeping and you should be too.”
“Sleep all the t...time.”
“That’s because your body knows you need it even if your mind doesn’t,” Jackson teased before growing serious once more. “Seriously, Chris, you really need to let yourself heal and that’s best done by sleeping and resting.”
“Your friend is right, Chris.” Jenny said as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Always is we just don’t t...tell him o...often enough,” Larabee told her and saw the grateful look on Jackson’s face.
“Are you in pain?” she asked as she noted the grimace on his face.
“No...not really,” the blond answered tiredly.
“Chris...”
“Really, Nathan, it’s not too bad. Besides I think the damn morphine just kicked in.”
“Yes, it did,” Jenny told him and smiled as he yawned. She replaced the oxygen mask and moved away to give the two friends some time alone.
“How are you really doing, Chris?”
“What do you mean, Nathan?”
“Did Dr. Carlyle come to see you?”
“Yeah,” Larabee mumbled wearily.
“Did you talk to him?”
“No. I don’t need...”
“Chris, you’ve been through hell...no, that’s wrong you’ve been to hell. What was done to you by that bastard was wrong, Chris, and you went through it alone...”
“Wasn’t alone, Nathan. I knew you guys were looking for me. Hell, those cowboys were always there. I may not have been able to see them, but they were there. Still are sometimes,” Chris said as his eyelids slowly closed. “Never alone...none of us...” his voice trailed off as he gave into the call of sleep.
Jackson settled into the chair and smiled as he realized his friend was right. Whatever brought their ancestors across the barrier of time he didn’t know, but he knew they were still there, lending strength through their ghostly presence. He sighed as he rubbed tired eyes, feeling the stress of the last two weeks, and knowing there was so much more to come. He thought about Ezra’s words about Chris and Vin’s reaction to Carlyle, and wished Susan James was here. Chris and Vin, for that matter all of them trusted her and knew she’d listen to whatever they had to say. She’d been there to help Chris deal with the deaths of his wife and son and for that they would always be grateful. ‘You need to talk about this, Chris,’ he thought as he settled back to wait for morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chris winced as the lab tech took blood from the A line in his left wrist. Normally they were gentle and he felt nothing, but this woman was rough, and didn’t seem to give a damn whether she hurt him or not.
“There, now that wasn’t so bad was it, Mr. Larabee,” she said disinterestedly as she turned and walked away.
Chris glared daggers at her back, his eyes never wavered as he whispered. “Not bad at all, bit...”
“Chris!” Wilmington interrupted in spite of his own anger towards the woman’s rough treatment of his injured friend.
“What, Buck?” Larabee snapped. “Shit, she’d better not come back anymore!”
Wilmington knew it was more than her rough treatment that was causing Larabee’s anger. The constant pain and treatments were taking a toll on the injured man and his patience was wearing thin. Buck knew his friend’s doctors would be there shortly with the results of the tests they’d run since the dialysis treatment the day before. He hoped the two men would have good news, God knew he deserved some.
“Easy, Stud, don’t go gettin’ mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you, Buck!” Larabee snapped. “But someone must’ve been asleep at the wheel when they passed that bitch! She’s got the bedside manner of a pariah!” He grew quiet as he watched two familiar men headed towards his room.
“Good morning, Chris,” Barrett greeted his patient and turned to the ladies man. “Mr. Wilmington.”
“Call me Buck, Doc.”
Barrett nodded as he listened to Mullen talk with Chris. He hoped the news they were about to impart would raise his patient’s spirits and give him some hope that things were getting better.
“Now, Chris, how are you feeling today?” Mullen asked.
“Why don’t you tell me? I mean you’re the ones with all the answers!”
“Chris!” Buck snapped.
“Ah, Hell,” Larabee hissed as he saw a hint of disappointment in the ladies man’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Doc, it’s just that I’m tired of being stuck in this damn bed!”
“That’s understandable, Chris. If you weren’t then I’d think there was something mighty wrong,” Mullen explained. “Now, I don’t want to get your hopes up too much, but I think we may have a little good news...”
Larabee hastily interrupted. “I’m getting out of here?”
“I said some good news, Chris. I didn’t say a miracle.”
“Shit!” the blond hissed.
“Hey, Chris, give him a chance to explain,” Wilmington said as he met the fiery gaze. “Go ahead, Doc!”
“Dr. Barrett and I were looking over the latest test results and things are looking up. Your creatinine, BUN, and potassium levels are better and we’re very hopeful you won’t need any more Dialysis...”
Buck’s shrill whistle interrupted the doctor as he slapped his hands on his knees. “Hell, Stud, did ya hear that? No more dialysis!”
“I said hopefully, Mr. Wilmington,” Mullen corrected.
“When will you know for sure?” Chris asked.
“If the numbers stay as they are we should know by tomorrow morning. We’ll continue with the bloodwork and urinalysis until then,” the specialist explained.
“Just as long as that bit....”
“Chris means he’d rather the last lab tech didn’t come back,” the ladies man quickly intervened and felt Larabee’s glare turned his way.
“Anne, who was she?” Barrett asked.
“Patrice Milliard. She’s already been given a reprimand for her treatment of patients, Doctor. She was pretty rough with Chris earlier and I’ve seen her like it before.”
“Maybe it’s time someone had a word with her,” Mullen told Barrett. He knew patients in Larabee’s condition got frustrated and they didn’t need someone like Milliard making matters worse.
“I’ll speak with her supervisor and make sure she doesn’t get sent here again,” Barrett assured them.
“Thanks, Doc,” Wilmington said gratefully.
“Derrick, I have a meeting with another patient’s family and will meet with you this afternoon.” He turned back to Larabee before leaving. “You take it easy, Chris and make sure you let us know if you’re having any problems.”
“I will,” the blond mumbled.
“Now, then, Chris, how would you feel about getting rid of that NG tube and see about eating again?” Barrett asked.
“Hell, yes!” Larabee snapped up the idea of getting rid of at least one of his accessories.
“I think we can also dispense with the oxygen mask and use the nasal canulas for now, and maybe we can sit you up a little more as well.”
Chris lay back and listened as the doctor told them what he was going to do. His moods seemed to change at the drop of a hat these days and he hated the disorientation brought on by those swings. He knew he should be happy with the small steps they were taking, but right now small steps did little when all he could see was what lay ahead of him. He knew he was feeling sorry for himself, yet right now, he didn’t care. He was tired, he wanted out, and he wasn’t about to give in gracefully. He felt the oxygen mask lifted and the smaller nasal canulas quickly replaced it. The NG tube came next and he waited until the nauseating feeling of having it removed passed before opening his eyes. He watched the nurse place something in his IV and realized it was probably the anti nausea medication Barrett ordered for him.
“Easy, Chris.”
“I...I’m okay, Buck.”
“Sure you are, Pard.”
“Chris would you like to sit up a little more?” Barrett asked.
“Y...yeah...think so.”
Anne pressed the button on the side of the bed and Larabee’s upper body slowly rose. She stopped as soon as the doctor motioned for her to, and watched as Larabee’s face contorted in pain.
“Just try to relax, Chris, it’ll calm down in a minute,” Barrett noted of the pain he saw on his patient’s face.
Chris didn’t take the time to acknowledge the doctor’s words as the pain washing over his body continued unabated. He could hear Buck, Barrett, and Anne talking to him in soothing tones, but for now they were no longer part of the misery he endured. He sucked in gulp after gulp of air, trying to quell the continuing nausea and pain, but despaired of it ever ending. He kept his eyes closed and suffered in his own world, unable to reach out to the others as he sank into the dark void of oblivion.
“Shoot, Doc, I thought things were supposed to be easier on him!”
“They will, Buck, but with the extent of his injuries he’s gonna be in misery no matter what we do. Hopefully sitting up like this will help him breath a little easier, but between the pleurisy and the chest tube he’ll still be uncomfortable.”
“How long before he gets rid of the chest tube?”
“Hopefully in a couple of days. Dr. Hastings will be down later this morning to check on him.”
“Dr. Hastings?” Buck couldn’t place the name.
“The orthopaedic surgeon who operated on his hip.”
“Oh! What’s he gonna do?”
“He wants to make sure everything’s okay with the hip and that Chris is not having too much discomfort.”
“Hell, discomfort is putting it mildly. He’s far beyond discomfort, it looks to me like he’s in agony most of the time,” Wilmington’s words were laced with sarcasm, but he didn’t care anymore. His deep blue eyes were filled with unshed moisture as he looked at the sleeping blond. Lines of pain were etched into the forehead and tiny beads of sweat were visible as well. Buck ran his fingers through the sandy blond hair and hoped Chris could feel his presence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Vin, you’re not making sense!” Dunne argued as the sharpshooter crawled out of bed and reached for the chair beside it.
“Look, Kid, I’m not staying here when I know Chris...”
“Having problems,” Sanchez asked from the bedroom doorway.
“No!” Tanner snapped.
“Yes!” Dunne corrected, ignoring the biting glare from the tracker. “He wants to go see Chris but he can’t even stand up on his own!”
The ex-preacher stepped into the bedroom and took note of the soiled basin and towels beside the bed. His concerned blue eyes searched Tanner’s pale face and he placed his hands on the younger man’s left shoulder. He didn’t use much force to make the injured man sit back on the bed, and he quickly sat beside the trembling form. He nodded towards the kid and smiled. “It’s okay, JD. Vin’s not going anywhere.” He felt Tanner’s head lift and knew the younger man was glaring at him.
“Josiah!” the tracker hissed.
“Vin, it won’t do you or Chris any good if you walk into his room and pass out! If you were to do that then I’m sure Chris would find some way of getting out of that bed in his efforts to get to you. If he did that I’m sure he’d end up tacking on more time to his hospital stay. Is that what you really want to happen?”
“No, Josiah, ya know that’s not what I want! I want Chris out of there. I want him back where he belongs. I want...no, I need him...Shit! I don’t know how to explain...”
“He’s your brother, Vin. That’s why you feel so strongly about him. He’s hurt and it’s only natural that you want to help him heal. But you can’t put his health ahead of your own...”
“But...”
“No, buts, Vin. You and Chris have that unique connection and it’s seen you both through hell on countless times. Right now you’re hurting and you need to look after yourself. He’s gonna need you strong once they start physiotherapy on his hip...”
“That’s gonna be hell...”
“Yeah, it is, but he won’t have to go through it alone. He’ll have the six...”
“More’n six,” Tanner corrected softly.
“You’re right, Vin, he’ll have all of us to make sure he listens and does as he’s told.”
“Hell, Josiah, we’ve never been able to get him to listen before, so what makes you think this time’ll be any different?”
“Just a feeling.”
“Hope your feeling is right, Josiah, ‘cause Chris is a stubborn cuss...”
“He ain’t the only one!” Dunne commented from the window.
“You got that right, JD,” Sanchez agreed as he stood up and looked at the injured man. “Now why don’t you lie back and rest while JD and I get you something to eat.”
“Not hungry.”
“Vin, you gotta eat!” Sanchez said.
“My stomach doesn’t agree with you right now, Josiah.”
“JD, can you get the Dramamine tablets the doctor ordered?”
“Sure, Josiah,” the kid said and hurried from the room.
“Now, Vin, you’re going to take the pills, lie down, sleep if you can and after lunch I’ll take you to see brother Chris myself!”
“You won’t let me sleep too long?”
“I’ll let you sleep until you wake up. I know you’re probably tired of hearing this, but you’re not up to par yourself.”
“Here you go, Vin!” Dunne’s loud voice preceded him into the room. He hurried in carrying the pills and a glass of water.
Vin took the pills in his hands and looked at them reluctantly. His stomach was still churning, but these pills usually made him sleepy and he didn’t want to sleep for long.
“Take them, Vin. Chris will be there when you wake up!” Sanchez ordered and was glad when the younger man complied. He smiled as the kid took the glass and placed it on the table. Between the two of them they soon had the tracker lying down in the bed and both men breathed a sigh of relief.
“Wake me in an hour,” Tanner drawled.
“I don’t think so, Vin. You sleep until your body tells you it’s had enough,” the ex-preacher ordered.
“Shit, J’siah, may not w...wake up for...week!”
Sanchez’s quick laughter soothed the tracker’s frayed nerves and he drifted into an easy slumber, knowing someone was watching his and Chris’ back. He heard the two men talking softly and heard the drapes being drawn, the lights being turned out. He was asleep before the door closed and missed the smile on the shadowy figure who continued to watch over him.
‘Sleep well, Mr. Tanner, there’s still a long road ahead of all of you!’
“Always sleeping,” Vin mumbled as the soft southern accent penetrated his sleep.
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