Chris wasn’t sure he wanted to be awake as Hastings examined his hip, but he didn’t seem to have much choice. The door and the blinds were closed and only Hastings and Anne were with him. The thin blanket and sheet were drawn back, and he shivered as the cool air seemed to kiss his naked body. What little dignity he’d had was gone now as he trembled in the wake of the newcomer’s examination. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to give into the pain Hastings’ cold touch was causing. He was definitely not in the mood to deal with the cold hearted orthopaedic surgeon, Chris kept his eyes closed and bit his lip as he waited for it to be over. He felt the hands leave his body and someone lifted the blanket back over him.
“Mr. Larabee?”
“Yeah?” Chris ground out and finally opened his eyes.
“I know that probably hurt...”
“ Not probably...It did!”
“I apologize for that, but it couldn’t be helped. The hip seems to be healing fine and I’m going to arrange physiotherapy as soon as you’re moved out of ICU and the respiratory specialist gives the go ahead. For now, I just want you to take it easy and try not to move around to much.”
“No problem there, Doc,” Larabee hissed. “I don’t seem to be moving around at all.”
“That’ll change, Mr. Larabee.”
“Yeah, that’s what everyone keeps telling me.”
“Well, I have other patients to see so I’ll turn you over to Anne and your friends. I’ll see you in a couple of days to talk about what else has to be done.” Hastings picked up his chart and without a backwards glance hurried from the room.
“Chris, are you okay?”
Chris groaned as he tried to get comfortable. “N...no! That sonofabitch must be related to that bitch from this morning!” he snapped.
“I know he’s probably set off the pain again, Chris...”
“Ah, hell,” Larabee saw the sympathy in her soft brown eyes and quickly apologized. “I’m sorry, Anne, didn’t mean to snap at you.”
Anne smiled at her patient and was surprised when he returned it. The anger left the green orbs and was replaced by a warmth she’d never seen before, and she knew she could easily lose herself in the deep pools. She was hard pressed not to give into her own body’s urges, but she forced back her growing feelings in order to give her patient the best care she could provide. “That’s okay, Chris, I understand how you must feel.”
“Thanks, Anne, but there’s no excuse for snapping at you for trying to help.”
She was glad to see he knew she was trying to ease his pain. There were so many facets to this patient and each one gave her a sense of who he was. She could tell he’d had more pain in his life than most people suffered in a lifetime, yet she knew instinctively that he hadn’t faced it alone. The six men he called family were always there and she understood that they always would be. “Would you like me to open the blinds and the door?” she asked, wanting to give him a chance to be alone if he wanted to.
“Y...yeah.” Chris answered, knowing Ezra and Buck would be waiting to see if he was alright. He hated knowing the others worried about him, but was glad that he didn’t have to face things alone.
Anne smiled before she walked towards the door, opened it and gestured for the two men to come inside. She laughed softly as they rushed past her and over to the bed. ‘You guys are just what he needs,’ she thought as she opened the blinds.
“Hey, Chris, how did it go?” Wilmington asked.
“It went okay, Buck. Hello, Ezra.”
“Greetings, Mr. Larabee, I must say you do look rather pale,” Standish observed worriedly.
“Dr. Hastings did a thorough job,” Anne explained as she came back to the bed.
“Did Dr. Hastings inform you as to how that particular injury was doing?” the gambler asked.
“He said it’s doing okay and they’d be starting Physio as soon as I get out of this room.”
“And the respiratory specialist okays it,” Anne corrected.
“Yeah, that too,” Larabee grinned, but quickly covered his mouth as he felt the familiar tightness building in his chest. He couldn’t stop the cough that erupted, any more than he could stop the agony it caused. He lay back against the pillow as he felt two sets of worried eyes on him. He heard Anne preparing his medication and soon felt the mask placed over his mouth and nose. “S...shit, sor...ry,” he wheezed as he felt the band tightening across his chest. He knew the medication would kick in pretty fast and relaxed against his pillow.
“Ah, hell, Chris, I wish there was something I could do.”
“Y...you are, Buck...helps know...ing you guys are h...here.”
“We shall endeavor to make sure we are always present to lend our support, Mr. Larabee,” Standish assured him.
“Th...thanks...Ez. hate that you g...guys are see...ing me like this!”
“Hell, Chris, you’re always there for us, it’s ‘bout time we returned the favor. I just wish it was under better circumstances,” Wilmington told him.
Larabee nodded and let the heavy lids drop over tired eyes. he felt the draw of sleep and felt safe with his friends watching over him. “Gonna sl...sleep for a wh...while,” he mumbled.
“You do that, Mr. Larabee. I assure you we’re not going anywhere,” Standish vowed as he sank into the chair beside the bed. He looked up as Buck Wilmington leaned heavily against the rail of the bed and settled in to watch over their friend.
~~~~~~~~~~
Vin walked into the ICU room and nodded to Standish and Wilmington. The gambler meant it when he said they were not going anywhere. The two men hadn’t moved from the room, but had kept up a soft conversation while Larabee slept. Sometimes the conversation was serious, but more often than not it was humorous as the two men tried to relieve some of their own pent up frustrations. They’d even managed to get Larabee’s nurse involved and actually had her laughing with them.
Standish stood up quickly and gestured for the sharpshooter to sit down. “Have a seat, Mr. Tanner.”
“I’m okay, Ez, thanks anyway,” the younger man assured the gambler.
“Vin, stop trying to be so damn strong all the time!” Wilmington said softly. “Besides, Ezra’s derriere needs a break, I mean he’s been sitting on it all morning and it’s gotta be getting numb!”
“Ah, Mr. Wilmington, if it does continue to grow numb it will be like that thing you call a brain and of very little use.” Standish said, relieved when their comments brought a smile to the tracker’s face as he finally sat in the chair. His eyes met those of the ladies man and a small grin of approval appeared under the man’s moustache.
Vin knew Buck and Ezra were trying to ease his, as well as their own minds with their minor insults. The two men were friends and would do anything for each other and had proven that often enough. He smiled as he realized the NG tube was gone and the oxygen mask was replaced with nasal canulas. ‘Least something is looking up,’ he thought.
“Are you all right, Mr. Tanner?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, Ez. How’s Chris been?”
“I’m fine too, Vin,” Larabee answered and opened his eyes.
“Hey, Pard, thought you were asleep.”
“No, just listening to Abbott and Costello over there,” he smiled as he pointed to Standish and Wilmington.
“Oh, the indignity, Mr. Larabee! Abbot and Costello!” Standish scoffed. “Pray tell who is who?”
“Don’t worry, Ez, you’re definitely the Bud kind’ve guy,” the ladies man assured him.
“That is a relief,” the gambler said.
“Why don’t you and I leave these two alone and go work on our Who’s on First Base routine, Bud?”
“Who’s what, Lou?”
“Never mind,” Wilmington rolled his eyes. “We’ll see you guys later.”
“We’ll be here,” Tanner said with a grin. “How are you really doing, Chris?”
Larabee smiled as he watched the two men leave and then turned his attention to his best friend. “Honestly, Vin, I feel like shit most of the time, but I think it’s getting better. I mean Dr. Hastings was here earlier...”
“Dr. Hastings?”
“Orthopaedic surgeon. I thought he was a real mean son of a bitch when he was here, but I don’t think he meant to be that way. I think he was just doing a thorough job, but it felt like Ma...Maguire all over again.”
“Ah, hell, Chris, wish none of this had happened.”
“It’s not your fault, Vin. Just knowing you guys are here makes it easier. I d...don’t know what I’d do if...” Larabee swallowed as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He knew Susan James would probably tell him it was a natural reaction to what he’d been through, but he hated feeling weak. He turned away from his friend before he could see the evidence of that weakness.
The sharpshooter didn’t miss the moisture laden eyes or the grimace of pain that had nothing to do with physical injuries. “Chris?”
Larabee couldn’t turn his head, couldn’t face his friend as he realized he was showing parts of his soul he didn’t mean to bare. He didn’t know that what he perceived as weakness, others saw as traits that made him who he was. He watched Anne moving around the room, and was grateful that she’d given him a chance to be alone with his friend.
Chris closed his eyes, and visions of the chamber came back, sending a shiver of dread down his spine. This was something he’d grown used to, it seemed to happen every time he closed his eyes. His arms would throb and his shoulders would ache as he relived the time he hung from the ceiling. He groaned as he tried to find a comfortable spot, but there didn’t seem to be one. His anger and frustration grew as he shifted in the bed and he wished his friend would leave before things got worse. He hated showing this side of himself, but there was nothing he could do to stop it right now.
Vin thought his friend was sleeping until he heard the soft groan from the bed. “Hey, Cowboy, you okay?” Tanner asked as he looked towards the door and watched Nathan Jackson enter the room.
“Yeah, Vin, I’m just fuckin’ great! I mean what the hell could possibly be wrong? I got a private room and someone who stays with me constantly and cares for me. When things finally ease up a little and I begin to feel just a little bit human some doctor comes in and stirs all that shit right back up and I feel like hell!” Larabee hissed without turning. He knew his words would hurt the sharpshooter, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Shit! Vin! Dammit!” He turned and saw the medic standing beside the sharpshooter. “Godammit, I hate this!”
“Chris, it’s okay,” Tanner assured him.
“No it’s not, Vin! I’m taking my anger at what Maguire did out on you guys and that’s just not right! I sh...should be grateful...” he groaned and held his left arm to his side as pain emanated from his ribs. “Shit! Look, when I get like th...this just tell me to shut the fuck up!”
“Ain’t gonna happen, Cowboy. You need to talk and we’re willing to listen,” the sharpshooter told him.
“Chris, we’re here whenever you feel like going...”
“Bal...listic,” Larabee smiled in spite of the lingering anger. His chest heaved and he looked towards the nurse. He knew she was watching him and was grateful for her presence. He knew she could tell when he was in trouble, and he watched as she started to get his medications ready. He felt a hand on his shoulder and wasn’t surprised when he turned his head and saw Jackson’s sympathetic gaze on him.
“Just take it easy, Chris. Anne’s setting up the nebulizer,” the medic told him.
“Ha...hate that thing!” He could feel the heated anger leaving him, and he felt drained by the conflicting emotions and how quickly he seemed to jump from one to the other.
“I know, Chris, but it helps, right?”
“Yeah, N...Nathan it d...does, but I still hate it!”
“Chris.”
Larabee turned to the nurse and felt the nasal canulas removed and the mask placed over his mouth and nose. He closed his eyes and waited for the bronchodilators to do their job. Slowly, but surely he felt the band around his chest easing and he turned a grateful smile towards Anne. He knew he was beginning to feel something for her and briefly wondered if it was real, or just a case of gratitude for someone who was caring for him when he most needed it.
“Thanks, guys,” he said as he looked towards his friends.
“No thanks, needed, Chris,” Jackson assured him.
“Yeah, it is, Nathan. I don’t think I’d be here now if you guys hadn’t stuck by me....”
“Where else would we be, Chris? Family, remember?” Jackson asked.
“Yeah. Family...the best a man could ask for!” Larabee said softly, sending the truth of the words through his trusting gaze. He heard the morphine pump’s nearly silent signal as it delivered the medication into his arm and knew he’d soon feel it pull him towards sleep.
“Hey, Cowboy, ya don’t need to be getting sappy on us,” the tracker insisted, yet he felt the same way about these men.
Larabee yawned as he looked at the two men. His eyes were growing heavy and he listened to the two men asking Anne how he was really doing. “Te...tell them do...ing just fi...fine, Anne. Just a l...little tired.”
“I will, Chris,” the nurse told him.
“Go on to sleep, Chris,” Jackson said as he watched Larabee fight to stay awake.
“Not sl...sleepy,” Larabee mumbled and forced his eyes open.
“That’s not what your eyes say, Cowboy.”
“You’re one to talk, T...Tanner. You could pack e...enough lug...gage in t...those bags for a month long va...vacation.”
“See, Nate, that’s gratitude for ya. Guy gets out of his own sick bed to come see a friend and gets insulted.”
“Sorry, Vin, but I gotta agree with Chris. Those bags get any bigger and we’re liable to get stopped at the airport for carrying oversize baggage.”
Tanner heard the soft laughter from the bed and saw the sparkle in the sea green eyes. “Damn, this just ain’t right! Are you two ganging up on me now?”
“Just telling the truth, C...Cowboy. You l...look like you need sl...sleep more than I do.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, Chris, but it’s pretty damn close. Come on, Vin. Why don’t we let Chris get some sleep while I get you home. Chris, Josiah and JD will be here when you wake up.”
“Thanks, Nathan, don’t need to s...stay...tell them to go h...home!”
“Ain’t gonna happen, Chris,” Tanner smiled as he stood up. “Someone’s always gonna be here, so you might as well give it up.”
Chris smiled as he heard the words and his eyes began to close once more. “Always coun...ted on that,” he whispered without realizing the words were spoken aloud. He didn’t see the twin smiles on the faces of his two friends or see the relief in their eyes that he’d given in to his body’s need for sleep.
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