2. Should one of your parents meet a premature end, with all haste buy yourself a radio.
3. If you are a Christian missionary in a remote South American country, find yourself a white women (preferably also American) with whom to be promiscuous.
4. Should you find yourself in a position of power over this woman later in life, use your power to curb her ambition and make sure she must stay close to you, to seduce her once more, and spend the rest of your life getting revenge for her not ringing you.
5. Should the most brilliant minds of the world be ranked by worth, the first two will, of course, be American.
6. Put your faith into an international media mogul, and practice a surprised look in the mirror, should you find your trust misplaced.
7. Don't trust James Wood.
8. UFO and ET believers are in the same boat as Christians, as they cannot prove their rather elaborate beliefs. Gather your dignity for when unbelievers start laughing at you, and find it difficult to stop.
Well, thank you Derek. If anyone else feels they have anything to add, feel free to E-mail me. If, on the other hand, you're incredibly annoyed by these sentiments, I don't want to know about it.
Back to Krysanthemum's Contact Page of Worship
