She's....a cow!!

Ok, so I'm in my room, listening to my brother blast "Baby One More Time" for the fiftieth time. I was about to go in and scream that I'll hit him, baby, one more time when I realize something. Britney is not human. No, she isnt an alien. She's...a cow!!

Yeah, I know cows are fat and everything, but havent you ever herad of anorexia??

I dunno, maybe those "Got Milk" ads drove the guys crazy. They had cravings for milk and then - bam!! - they saw Britney. And the udders. Whoo, those udders.

And the "singing". I always thought she couldn't sing, I thought it was because of those udders weighing down her windpipe. But it isnt!! She's just MOOING!!

Yeah, I know that no one will listen when I try to expose it all. But there are other things I can do. Like, become a vegetarian.