Kevin was silent; in shock yet elated all at the same time. Lila took that as a bad sign and pulled away from him, "I know I shouldn't say anything..I mean, he WAS your best friend and here I am, the lonely fiancee moving in up on you...I'm..I'm sorry Kevin.."
Kevin's mind and body finally comprehended what was happening and what had been said. He grabbed her arm gently, "Wait...Don't be sorry.."
"Huh?"
"Don't be sorry because I've been fighting my feelings for you for so long Lila.."
"Feelings?"
He nodded, "I never wanted to say anything...I mean, you had so many other things to worry about with Justin being born and I...I didn't think you needed..or wanted another man..."
"I didn't think I did either.."
Kevin sighed, "What do you say we get out of here and go somewhere and talk before we go get Justin?"
"I'd say that's a pretty good idea."
He smiled, taking her hand, and led her through the party, saying goodbye to the guys and management. Soon, they were in his car heading onto the interstate; Lila didn't know where he was taking her but could only watch as cars and trees whizzed past.
Kevin parked and turned to look at her, "What do you want from..all of this Lila?"
"I...I have no idea...I'm barely making it through the day Kevin..after..after he died I didn't think I'd want another man in my life...but then you and those four other guys showed up..and no matter what, you all wouldn't let me be sad..at least in your all's presence. And..I mean, you've been there since everything happened..no matter how busy you were you always made time for me, even if it was just a phone call or an e-mail. I always felt like you and the guys cared about me and what happened with me. I mean, I was so surprised, after you all left to come back to Orlando, that I got a call from each and every one of you at least every day, if not more. But..you've been there for everything..even if you were a little late for Justin's birth."
He smiled at that; that evening/morning had been so hectic. He had actually felt like he was going to panic if he didn't get to Kentucky in time.
She smiled too, "But..I think over the past couple months..I've begun to..like you a little more than just a friend. But I was way too afraid to say anything about it.."
"Why?"
"And have everyone think I'm just a lonely, poor widowed fiancee mooching off his best friend? I don't think so."
"No one would think that..."
She smiled, "Yea they would..maybe not the people in your circle..but other people would.."
"I guess I see where you're coming from..."
"How long have you felt like this for me?"
"I don't know..I mean, when I first met you, I couldn't believe how pretty you actually were..Scott had described you to me but I didn't really think he would as truthful as he was...I mean, you're beautiful Lila..inside and out. And after...he died...my feelings grew..but it felt kinda wrong..I mean, you were his and vice versa..and you were pregnant with his child...that was something you two have forever...you all have that bond..."
"But Justin doesn't know anyone besides you..."
"That doesn't change genetics.."
"No, it doesn't. I think a part of me will always be partial to Scott..and I'll always love him. And..I love Justin more than my own life..he's so perfect and just..he's mine.....but I think you're starting to fit into the equation now."
He smiled, "I don't feel guilty.."
"Why?"
"I never told you this..but I had a dream awhile back...I think it was right after I brought up the whole Orlando thing...it was weird..you were there and there was a small boy, who I guess is Justin, and then Scott was in front of me...and he told me not to feel guilty..and he wanted you to be happy.."
"You believe in that stuff?"
He smiled, "I don't know if I totally believe in it..but it's a little odd.."
"I don't want him to be mad at me..."
"I don't want him to be mad at me either..but I don't think he would be Lila...I think he'd want you to move on..."
"I think he would too..but then this little voice in the back of my mind says he'd be so disappointed in me..and then I kinda feel like I'm betraying him.."
He took her hand, squeezing it gently, "Let's do this...we'll go out a couple times, just you and me..and Justin if need be..and we'll go from there? Nothing serious, hell, we don't even have to kiss..ok?"
She thought for a moment before a smile crossed her face, "I think I'd like that.."
"Ok..ready to go get Justin?"
"Yea..."
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