Justin sighed, it was very apparent that he was uncomfortable. "Can I have a glass of water or something?," He asked.
Alexa nodded, "Sure...I'll be right back."
He nodded and she got up and walked to the kitchen. Justin didn't know why he was so nervous..he wasn't nervous before. Maybe it was the fact that he had to talk about himself and about a relationship he wasn't even sure he wanted to re-live let alone talk about it. He clasped and unclasped his hands, then took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm himself. She came back and handed him the glass of water. He smiled his thanks and downed almost the entire thing before setting it on the coffee table in front of him. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his wallet and pulled out a picture and handed it to Alexa, "That's me..and Emma. We had known each other for awhile and it was almost inevitable that we started to date. Everything was perfect. But, of couse, it was too good to be true. We were gone alot, as we are now, and rumors well flying all over the Internet and through the tabloids about who I was seen with and what I was doing and just..all this shit. Emma was back here and was in school...she couldn't always be with me and I couldn't always be with her. I called her one night after a show, and it was pretty late but she said she had no problem with me calling that late, she hadn't before so I thought this time was no different. She sounded so distant and so cold, and I had no idea why. She started to grill me with questions about how many girls I'd been with and how many I had been with that week and she wasn't stupid, she said she knew exactly what was going on. Although, I may be a guy, I'm not stupid and I'm not the kind of guy that has like 6 girlfriends at once. When I fall for a girl, I fall hard and completely. I had told her this numerous times. I told her that was all made up by the tabloids and the stupid publicists we had at the time. She, apparently, didn't believe me. She ended up calling me some names I care not to repeat and pretty much said I was a worthless peice of shit. We hung up and I didn't get any sleep that night. The next day, we had off, so I caught the next flight home and went directly to her place. Imagine my surprise when another guy answers the door dressed only in his boxers. Emma came to the door, wearing like half a shirt and that was it, grinning like she knew this was going to happen. I asked her what had I done and she just laughed at me...she laughed right in my face and told me I was just a little boy and would never understand the female species. She said...she said no one would ever truly love me for me...for who I am. She said I would always be an image and the person someone wanted to sleep with...not really 'get to know'. I left, caught the next flight back and rejoined the tour."
"Was that it?"
"No..she came back, groveling and begging for me to forgive her..saying she didn't really mean it. So, me being stupid, I let her back in. She stayed on tour with us for about a month or so. But what I didn't know was that she had another guy on the side. I bought her everything she ever wanted and could ever want. I listened to her whine and cry about wanting to go out although I was dead tired and wanted to crawl in a hole and sleep for 10 years. One night, I went out with the guys after the concert...Emma said she wasn't feeling well, so I said okay and went out with the guys. I came back a little early, I guess I felt a bit guilty. I opened the door to my hotel room to find her and that guy in my bed...together. I don't think I have ever been as shocked as I was at that moment. I realized how out of control I really was..and basically, how pathetic I am. The guy pretty much bolted while Emma grabbed her clothes, put them on and sat calmly on the bed. She said I was a pathetic loser. She said she was just using me..she actually admitted it. I was so mad...I punched a hole in the wall. Joey was next door and came to see what was going on. Emma turned on the waterworks and began to cry hysterically saying how I almost hit her and all this other bullshit. Alexa, I would never ever hit a woman....EVER. Joey looked a little skeptical and then I began to cry like a baby..I was so angry and upset and just..just...everything all at once. Emma then began to scream over and over that she hated me and that I was stupid and pathetic and every other demeaning word you could think of. I think that was when I somehow made it into the bathroom and locked myself in there. Emma was screaming over and over and over...Joey was trying to get me to come out and I could hear the other's voices but I didn't come out. I didn't want to. The one woman I gave my entire heart to had stomped on it and ruined it...I wanted to die."
"Please tell me you didn't...?"
He sighed and ran a hand over his head, "I tried."
"Oh Justin..."
"I tried...I took a razor blade and tried to slit my wrists as everyone was outside the door trying to coax me out of the bathroom. At the last minute, Chris kicked the door and I jumped and just ended up slicing up my finger a little bit. But blood was everywhere. The guys got in and thought I had done it...I just started to cry even harder. I think that was when I blacked out. I was exhausted, dehydrated and I just gave in to whatever was trying to take over me. I woke up in the hospital, Dre, my security, by the door. I never saw Emma ever again...and I don't want to."
Alexa looked at the picture, "You two looked so happy.."
"Yeah..that's what I keep saying to myself..."
"I'm sorry.."
"Don't be..I'm finally over her, I think...although I do still feel worthless...which is why I have such substantial mood swings sometimes."
"You're worse than a girl on PMS Justin.."
He smiled, "You're not exactly as sweet as a rose Lexi."
"Lexi?"
He shrugged, "I told ya I'd think of a nickname for you.."
"Oh...ok.."
"That is what I'm going to call you from now on."
"Ok.."
"So..we friends?"
She nodded, "Sure...friends."
"So..what did Will do tonight?"
Alexa sighed, "Justin..it's late...."
"So?"
"He...he pushed me up against the wall and wouldn't get out of my face. He told me I had to go with him but I didn't want to...so he forced me outside and then pushed me up against the wall out there...I thought he was going to do..something..."
"Did he do anything?"
She bit her lip and shook her head, "No...I just thought he was...he scares me.."
"And here I thought you were some hardcore chick."
"I'm not...I'm a scared little girl..and I'm scared he's going to come back..."
"I won't let him near you..," Justin said with a yawn.
Alexa followed suit and yawned as well. Justin smiled, "Tired?"
She nodded, "Yeah.."
"What time is it?"
She squinted a little to look at her watch, "3:40.."
"Wow..damn..told you we'd be up all night.."
"True."
They were both beginning to drop off into slumber on the couch. Alexa's head dropped against Justin's shoulder. He sighed and threw his legs on top of the table, "Lexi?"
"Hmmmm?"
"Are you ever scared...that..whatever he said..was true?"
"Like what?"
"All the demeaning stuff...do you ever think..it's true?"
She nodded sleepily but didn't open her eyes, "Yes..I'm so scared it is true..and that I'm ruined for any other guy..."
Justin's heart went out to her. In alot of ways they were in the same boat..but she was so scared..he had never seen that kind of vulnerabilty in anyone before and that scared him. He sat up and pushed her gently off his shoulder and got in the back of her so he was lying with his back to the couch. He then laid her back down next to him, she curled up closer to him and he put his arm over her and then kissed her bare shoulder gently, "You're not ruined Alexa...not at all..."
Alexa opened one eye, followed by the other. She had a huge cramp in her right leg and that was what woke her up. She groaned softly, her arm reaching behind her and elbowed something soft yet firm. Shocked, she sat up quickly, and in turn, fell to the floor. Justin leaned over, "Nice way to wake a guy up."
"What are you doing there?"
Justin sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then reached down to help her up, "We fell asleep..."
"Oh.."
"Are you okay?"
She nodded and blushed a little, "Yeah..I think I just bruised my pride. Did I elbow you hard?"
He shook his head, "Nah, it's all good."
"What time is it now?"
"Ummm..I dunno..."
Alexa finally found her watch on the coffee table and looked at it, "A little after 8.."
"Cool...where's your bathroom at?"
"Down the hall, to the right."
"Cool..I'll be right back."
Justin disappeared down the hall and Alexa crawled up on the couch and flipped on the tv. The Today Show was just coming back from commercial so she kept it on that. She didn't know why but she suddenly felt very close and very comfortable with Justin. She hadn't felt like that with any guy...except her brother. Justin came back and plopped down on the couch, "So..what's on the agenda today?"
"I dunno..I need to go get my car later.."
"Well..go shower and we'll go do that now.."
"It's too early!"
"No it's not, come on. We'll run by my place and I'll shower and then we'll go find some trouble to go get into.."
"Justin..I don't know.."
He turned to her and began to plead with her, "Come on, plllleeeaasseeee...it'll be like a..normal day for me..please?"
She sighed, "Fine..fine...I'll go shower.."
Justin grinned, "Cool."
As soon as Alexa got into her car, she realized she had left her cell phone in her glove compartment....and of course, she had like 6 voice mails from Dan and Claire. She dialed Dan's home number as she followed Justin down the streets of Orlando. "Hello?," Dan's sleepy voice asked.
"Hey."
"Hey. Where are you and why didn't you answer your phone last night?"
"I didn't have it."
"Where were you?"
"Claire convinced me to go to a club with her and the rest of N'Sync..."
"And you left your cell in your car?"
"No..I left my car at the club."
"And who did you go home with?"
"Justin took me home dad."
"Alexa."
"What?! It's not like I did anything wrong..geez! Anyways...ok...He showed up."
"What?!"
"He showed up. I freaked out and Justin took me home...we were up like half the night..talking.."
"He told you?"
"Yep.."
"And you told him?"
"Yep."
"How do you feel?"
"Not as scared...and I don't feel as if he's going to totally judge me.."
"Good..so..what are you doing now?"
"I'm following Justin to his place and apparently we're going to go do something..fun."
"Bout time you got out.."
"Thanks Dan."
He laughed, "Anyways, I'll let you go..call me and we'll go to dinner or something, k?"
"Ok..thanks Dan.."
"No problem..love you."
"Love ya too big bro. Bye."
"Bye."
She hung up and followed Justin into his driveway. He got out and waited for her to meet up with him. "Welcome to my house..okay, my mom's house."
She smiled, "It's a nice house though.."
"Thanks..it's home, ya know?"
She nodded, "Yeah."
"I think my mom's here with my little brother Jon.."
"I'm already meetin' the parental units."
He smiled,"I think she'll like ya."
"Thanks."
He unlocked the door and was met by a shorter boy throwing himself into his arms, "Juuuusttin!"
"Hey Jon!"
The two spent the next minute or so wrestling around the front foyer. A woman appeared at the other end of the hallway to see what the raucous was about and smiled at Alexa, "Hi, I'm Lynn, Justin's mother.."
"I'm Alexa Johnson."
"You're Dan's sister, right?"
She nodded, "That's right."
"I've seen pictures and I knew I had seen you before. How are you?"
"I'm good...you?"
"Tired..having a five year old and a 20 year old that thinks he's five is not easy."
Alexa laughed, she liked Justin's mother, "I bet.."
"Are you hungry or anything?"
"Oh no, I'm fine."
Justin hopped up off the floor, "I'm hungry momma!"
"I bet you are..go shower first while I get Alexa to eat.."
"Yeah Justin, go shower."
He stuck his tongue out playfully at Alexa, "I'll be back soon."
Lynn picked up Jon off the floor and motioned for Alexa to follow her. She did so and was met by the delicious smells of a home-cooked breakfast once she reached the kitchen. "Hungry now?"
Alexa smiled, "A little.."
Lynn pushed her into a chair, "Sit, sit, and I'll fix you a plate. Jon, you too."
Jon hopped into the chair beside Alexa, "What's your name?"
"Alexa..what's yours?"
"Jon!"
"How old are you?"
"Five."
"Cool.."
"How old are you?"
"I'm practically an old woman to you..I'm 20."
"That's how old Justin is! He's my brother, you know."
"He is? Cool.."
"How do you know my brother?"
Lynn set the two plates in front of the two and left the kitchen to go upstairs to get something. "My brother is his bodyguard, Dan, do you know him?"
"Yep!"
"That's my big brother."
"Cool..he's nice, I like him."
"Well, good..I like him too."
Justin came in a few minutes later, "That smells so good...so you were hungry Lexi?"
She nodded, "Yeah...can't resist a homecooked meal.."
"True..where'd mom go?"
"She went upstairs for something.," Alexa replied.
"Ohh cool.."
He joined them at the table with his plate full of food. Alexa watched in awe (and in some disgust) as one of the hottest people on the Earth chowed down on his food so fast she wasn't sure he even chewed. He practically inhaled it. He looked up to catch her staring and swallowed what was already in his mouth, "What?"
"Nothing..nothing..."
"Surprised I could eat this messy?"
Alexa smiled, "Well...yeah."
"I'm normal Lexi...really..I am."
Jon nodded, "Yeah! He does ALOT of gross stuff that mommy says he really shouldn't--"
"Jon!"
"Sorry..geez..."
Alexa decided she would drive and Justin hopped in, kind of glad he didn't have to drive. "Hey...would you want to see a house I'm thinking of buyin'?"
"Sure...where at?"
"Turn left here.."
"Ok...so you want to move out?"
He nodded and smiled, "Yeah...I just need my own place...ya know?"
"Yeah...I understand, I couldn't wait to move out of my parents' house."
"It's just...freedom..."
"I know...I know Justin...does anyone ever just call you J?"
He nodded as the scenery passed by, "Yeah...why?"
"Just wondering...can I call you that?"
"Sure can.."
They approached the house that Justin was wanting to buy, "Do you like it?"
She nodded, "Yeah..it's nice Justin..really.."
"Really? Is this the kind of place you could see me living in?"
"Truthfully?"
He smiled, "of course."
"Well..yeah...you're going to be the one living in it."
"True...I got another house in mind too but I won't drag you along for that...now, the real fun begins."
She rolled her eyes as Justin hopped back into the car and she got in as well....he was fun to be around but she had a feeling this was going to be a long day.
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