This is one of my favorite sections of my site.
This is where I like to write my feelings when I don't feel like talking directly at a living person.
For those of you familuar with my site, you may have noticed that I have begun to arcive older things, click here for the older entries.

Well, well, well…
What do you know? Its been a year, but surprisingly, I haven’t had much to say. Curious as to where I’m going?
I have just finished watching the film “Drawing Flies” I recommend that everyone see this movie, Alone though, seeing it with another living/awake person at your side may take away some of the effect that it had on me. It kind of reminds me of the way I was after seeing “A Clock Work Orange” for the first time. The only sound I hear aside from the clicking of my keyboard is Trent Reznor singing the words, “Isn’t it funny how everything works out?” This film (drawing flies) is basically a story of a man going insane. There was this one scene where Jason Lee is watching tv. Oh I’d say 15 minutes into the movie. The things that happened to him in this scene were very simular to the way I had been feeling in the not so distant past. Yes my dear friends, Kenny did think he was losing his mind for awhile. There are always some ajustments to be made when you change something in your life that you are very comfortable with or taking on much more than one can handle. For instance working 70 hours a week while still trying to have the life you love so much and only being 18. Yes that’s one of the many reason that none of you have ventured into my mind lately. It was hard it still is, but I’ve begun to adjust pretty bad timing though, I’ll be droping that 2nd job here soon.
Things have been different lately… I never thought it would be so hard growing up. My friends and I (ahhh it sucks to say, but honestly) we don’t have much time for each other. When we do hang out together, I cherish the times more than I used to. Thease guys I used to see atleast once a week, we all knew everything that was going on with each other and when we said “How are things?” we never meant it the way its actually meant to be said, we said it as opossed to saying how was your day. Fuck, are you even following me here? I’m sorry if I’m not making much sense. I just kind of miss being a bunch of stupid 16 year old’s. Now we are all heading straight into our twenty’s (if not already there) with a pocket full of responsibility. We are adults now, we’re never gonna be cool again! Do you know how strange that is to realize? And I don’t see the age of 40 being old at all, why? Because I’m halfway there. The scariest part is, I thought by the time I turned 20 I was supossed to have it all figured out. I just thought the people in movies like “Singles” was the loser batch… Well fuck no that’s the way it is. I’ve always looked at myself as a mature person, but for the past year, living on my own I’ve grown up a lot more than I thought I ever would. The most important thing’s on my mind as of late is am I going to have enough money to marry my love Starla and go on a decent honeymoon? When the hell am I going to find a good paying job that I actually enjoy? I’m realizing that when the deftones release a new album is not that big of an deal to me anymore. Its just fucked up because the little things in life that make me smile like music isn’t on my list of priority’s. I’m concerned about the mother fucking fututre, but still trying to live the life that I love.
Fuck it… If you want to know what I think, its that fucking 2nd job fucking with my head more than anything. I just want a good job that allows me to have my 128 hours a week and some time with the people I love.
My friends, my family and even the person living in this house with me I miss you, I’m sorry I don’t have much time or energy to grace you with the presense of the one true Kenny that I’ve always been. I love you all very much, thank you for supporting me in my times of need.