My Thoughts of the Day
So I decided that I would start writing stuff here so if any of you wanna get to know me better, you can just read this. Plus, ima kinda bored here at work sometimes, so I decided it would help pass the time. hehe...
Thursday, June 28, 2001 2 pm
Wow...where has the time gone? I've actually been in this country for over a month now. It's odd how each day goes by so slowly, but then suddenly I look back and I've been here for a month already. At the same time, Ima like what the crow?! i have another month and a half in this wretched country? I think I just get homesick after awhile. Particularly due to my recent ailments. What's up with that? I never had this many problems when I used to come here. Now my face is all jacked up, lips look funkybutt, and my eyes are all weird too. Sheesh...I won't be coming back here anytime soon. 3 more hours of work, and then I get to go home. yay! :) Then I only have to come tomorrow, and i have the weekend. Makes time go by much faster huh? hehe...I've pretty much been pickin mah nose all day, so I guess I'll go continue on with that picking...
Friday, June 29, 2001, 10 am
Good morning! So...I got rained on the entire way to work today, without an umbrella. sigh...that kinda sucked cuz apparently the acidity of Korea's rain makes ur hair fall out. Plus I had already done my hair, which was all for naught cuz the rain jacked it up. I still look like a scrub at work cuz i can't wear my contacts or any makeup and i have to go back to the doctor again today. another shot?! stinky poo! i fell asleep at 8 pm last nite and totally slept thru the nite. dang, i musta been super duper tired. i dunno what the deal was. i think the sickness and fatigue was making me mildly crabby too. NEwaiz, today is the last day at work for this week (and only my second! hehe) so at least i have the weekend to rest up and stuff. It sux cuz i feel like ima wasting all of this time in Korea if i don't go out and do stuff, but at the same time, since ima working ima tired and my body was apparently trying to tell me something by giving me all these ailments. So I need to make sure that I rest up and stuff...not get too run down.
1:30pm
Soooo...today is such a dreary day. Jangma is starting so it's all gross outside, we went to this place for lunch that only serves stuff from the ocean, and boy I can't eat any of that. My lunch stunk, I look like poop, and I have to go get another shot at the doctor's office. BUT--i am thankful for today. :) Because I am learning that there are other things that I have that should cancel out my complaints. Even tho I complain about Korea, and wanting to go home, when I really think about it, it's such a privilege to be able to work here and have experiences like this, ya know? Not everyone gets to do these kinds of things. And I get to make all these memories with friends, and meet new people, and take away so much knowledge from this summer. So what's the point of being cranky and taking things out on people I love? There is none...so I guess that's what I learned today. :)
Monday, July 2, 2001 2 pm
So, today is my first day back at work looking somewhat normal. hehe...My eyes are still a lil shaky, and I am super careful with em, but things are much better than last week. It's amazing how thankful you are to be healthy after feeling so miserable! :) hehe...That's all thanx to good ol God. :P I actually have some stuff to do today, so the day is going by relatively quickly. Hopefully the rest of the week will go by like that too so it doesn't seem like I'm at work forever. I had a good lunch today! I had this craving for donkatsu and was mad hungwee, and then we ate it! I was like yay! I just randomly thought about those Japan peeps and wonder how they're doing. I remember to pray for them everyday! :) I'm sure they're doing well. Alrighty, i'd better get back to work for now...
Tuesday, July 3, 2001, 9:37 am
So, my eyes had this odd reoccurrence this morning. The outside of em starting itching again. Sigh...So it's back to the glasses for Jfer. I have this gross feeling in general these days. I feel like I've gotten fat or something. I dunno what the deal is lately...mebbe it's the weather and the dreariness outside but I seem to be in this weird funk. I dunno why...it seems like a lot different people have this negative attitude toward me--or mebbe it's just me that is being hypersensitive. There's a higher probability that it's me. :) hehe...Mebbe it's burn-out from being in Korea and working for a month. I dunno what it is, but I hope I get out of it soon...I try to be all happee and smiley, but for some reason things are just kinda blah. PMS? The weather? Work? My eyes? Mebbe it's just me, and I'm trying to find things to blame it on. Hmm...Things that shouldn't seem that bad, are this big annoyance for some reason. Goin to Bundang, switching back to PAXNet, not gettin my paycheck, no cell phone...I guess that's just teaching me Korean style. i wanted to be immersed in the culture, so das what i got...I guess I should make efforts to be happier. I prayed about it this morning, so I guess it's up to the Big Man now...Well, back to the same old work...
3:51 pm
Sooo, i have spent yet another mundane day at work. Doing basically nothing. The day goes by amazingly slowly when there is nothing for me to do. I have yet another hour left and I really could have just stayed home today. But that's ok. I felt much better when my rents called me at work today. It's weird, but I guess I was just homesick. I think it's in addition to my itchy eyes too. Those aren't too pleasant right now. I was writing a rilly long e-mail today and I realized that I'm learning a lot in Korea this summer. Not just language, but complete and total immersion. Like, das what I wanted,not like I realized it was gunna be this much gohsaeng, but at least I know I will never live here. It has taught me how grateful I am to live in America. I wonder sometimes how people live here. I mean, I know they know nothing else, but man...I wanna just clean up the streets and make it smell prettier. Make people a lil nicer...but I guess that's all part of the experience. The culture. There are days when I'm thankful to be here, but then there are times when Im like what the crow is wrong with this country?! It's weird how I always see God working and molding my life to make me realize things. I mean, what would have happened if my rents didn't move to America and I wasn't born there? I wouldn't have known any better, but I'm so glad I live there. Everytime I have any little thing in my life that gives me stress, God always seems to tweak things so I will feel better and make things work out for me. Kinda like my living situation here in Korea for the first two weeks. It's interesting the way that happens...
On a lighter note, I got used to answering the phone at work! hehe...It has taken me a month, but I finally do it. I guess it was just the first time I had to get over, and then it was all downhill from there. I guess das how most things are in life. Just get over the initial fear and then it's home free...
Wednesday, July 4, 2001, 2:06 pm
Sooo...today is Independence Day, along with my three month anniversary with mah azn superman, along with my sister's 25th birthday. Wow...So many things goin on in one day huh? I had an extremely scary day. Sooo...I was walking to work this morning and I was about to cross one of those little ghetto intersections that's not rilly an intersection that only exist in Asian countries. So ima walkin on the sidewalk and there are cars driving along this big street on my right. Alluva sudden, this car that's in the street on my right side is in front of me facing my direction, and about to cross my path to turn right into that little intersection. At the same time, a motorcycle who is facing me appears out of nowhere and tries to go straight--toward me along the sidewalk. The car hits the motorcycle, and the motorcycle goes flying in front of my face and hits a parked car on my left.I looked up and it seemed as though the man was flying through the air in slow motion. He twirled in the air a few times and landed on his head on the ground. I stood there, absolutely mortified, in this state of utter shock as the guy is lying there with clearly broken fingers and blood gushing out of his head. I've never seen such a pool of blood in my entire life--and u all know how i am with blood. omg...i felt extremely queasy...So, Korean people are dumb and the driver gets outta the car and loox only mildly disturbed as he tries to move the injured cyclist. I was like what the crow?! ur not supposed to move him! what if his neck was broken or something? NEwaiz, the injured guy was clearly in shock and had no idea what was goin on, and someone brought out this bright green towel to hold on his head where he was bleeding. I just sat there staring at him and watching his broken fingers crunching along the concrete, trying to pull himself up, but failing cuz he had no strength. So, the guy I live with called 119 (Korea's version of 911) and the ambulance took about 40 years to get there. Korea is so inefficient--the traffic is so crammed that cars can't even move outta the way for the ambulance to get by. How smart is that? So NEwaiz, i was pretty disturbed on the way to work this morning. Apparently Korean people believe that if you see blood in your dreams, something good is going to happen that day...It wasn't a dream, but it was early in the morning...that still doesn't mean something good is going to happen cuz something bad already did. It's weird, cuz as I was walking away from the accident, I thought to myself if God hurts when one of his children gets injured like that. I'm sure he does...It hurt me just to see someone get hurt like that...The guy I was walking with seemed fine cuz he said that he has seen so many accidents like that in Korea. Car accidents are the leading cause of death in this country. No joke, with this many cars and such crazee drivers...I hope I never get coarse like that--the thought of car accidents terrify me, but now when i see motorcycles i get even more scared...he should have been wearing a helmet...I guess things like that make my problems seem so small. Cuz I was all annoyed bout how my eyes were acting up again, but thankfully I didn't get hit by that motorcycle, ya know? It was relatively close to me in distance too...plus, it makes it not that big of an issue that I don't get to see the azn sen5ation on our 3 month anniversary...i was kinda sad about that too since we keep missing each other on our anniversaries. we have yet to be together, and won't get to see each other on an anniversary til our 10 month in February. Sad huh? It's not entirely anyone's fault, it's just the situation that stinx I guess. I was all sad this morning and then I got the cutest card of all time that made me smile, so I guess I'll be ok today. :) hehe...I'll be spending the evening resting at home again, trying to get over my eye ailments. hehe...Today has been better tho. I've had more gi oon today. i dunno why...i have a purpose at work now and ima working with that guy from PAXNet for consulting and stuff. That will be better and make the time go by faster when I actually have work to do. It's fun to be a part of something and feel like you're contributing, ya know? Well...I have another 2 1/2 hours. Apparently my contributions haven't started yet. :) I guess das for tomorrow...
Thursday, July 5 2001, 11:12 am
Sooo...I just got to work cuz I went to the doctor again this morning. Talk about severe annoyance. I rilly dunno bout this country. I guess that it's just Korea, cuz I'm totally fine in America. In addition to my other ailments...so irritating. What the crow is goin on with my body? NEwaiz, I was thankful that the Azn wonderman came with me to the hospital today. I was so happee to see him. It seemed like it had been awhile for some reason...I don't rilly have much to do right now, and it's all rainy outside again. Our ghetto 3,000 won umbrellas went psycho in the wind and turned inside out and stuff on the way into the office. haha...funnee huh? I was like well...das why they were 3,000 won. heehee...Sooo..I guess the rest of Korea is gunna be ghetto-Jennifer time cuz i look like a scrub. More annoying than that is the fact that I can't see as well outta my glasses. Grr...As soon as my other ailment is cured, I think that I will start feeling much better. At least my eyes are better...Ima gunna go check on the wonderman...
Tuesday, July 10, 2001, 11:47 am
I actually have stuff to do during the day now, so I haven't had as much time to keep this daily thingymabobber updated. Saturday was fun, we went to Lotte World, bowled, watched a movie, ate dinner..too bad I ate chicken and I guess I'm not allowed to. Greaaat...I went to the Korean Medicinal Doctor with eemo on Sunday and waited for an hour and a half!! sheesh...he knew all this stuff about me. It was weird...apparently i'm prone to get fat. great. Like i didn't know that already! and then my body doesn't like seafood. I coulda told you that. :) hehe...i'm taking this korean medicinal stuff now, hopefully it helps. it's supposed to make it not get any worse and slowly improve. But I'm allergic to KOREA. What the crow kind of allergy is that?! the smog, cigarette, change in environment, stress...but one good thing came out of it--i know i'm healthy! hehehe...i learned very little other than that. oh well...i guess it's better than nothing. I'm rather hungwee...nobody from my team is here so i have nobody to eat with. sigh...work is much more fun now and i'm not quite as bored. it's more fun actually working with someone too. he offered to let me stay at his place for a few weeks if i needed to. then i could watch the baby and help keep his wife company. hehe...das funnee..i guess all korean women suffer the same stuff. boredom...help with the baby...:) hehe...
I wonder when this itching is gunna end.
1 pm
YAY! I'm talkin to CAT!!! YAY!!! best day ever! :)
5 pm
Wow, i haven't laughed that much since I left Houston! sheesh....aww...so i had the best convo with cat just now for the past 4 hours! hehe...i miss that girl. i can't wait til she comes to visit me in KC in august! yay!! hehe...we're such goons. it's funnee how we're rilly diff but rilly alike in some odd ways. Ever since I was little i've always been like, how come I don't have a friend who's like me that i can always count on? wahh...:P hehe...but now i do! hehe..she's so awesome. funnee funnee girl...ahh...okies so i guess i should go. we're supposed to go shopping and stuff. ima hungwee too. time to leave work! yay! hehe...even tho it's raining outside it's been a good day! i feel like ima not quite as homesick nemore. hehe...now if only i had some Love and Tan Tan...
Thursday, July 12, 2001, 11:07 am
Sooo ima wearing the new lil hot pink tank thingy i got from myung dong Migliore yesterday. I got all these compliments the second I walked in the door. I was like yay! hehe...I guess it's a Korean thing, cuz normally I would never wear hot pink, but Ima trying to increase the variety of my colors. I think it was Cat who I told that I had too many neutrals and blacks in my wardrobe. Now I have more colors! hehe..the bright pink, that pretty purple, white skirt...I love my lil Ferragamo wallet. It's so cute! See, I never woulda gotten a red wallet or that off-white bag either, but I guess my tastes are changing. Too much black. :) hehe...yet Ima wearing black again today. hehe..ah wellz...okies, so i don't really have all that much to talk about cuz nothing extremely exciting has been going on and i haven't been thinking about much lately. my health is getting a lil better tho. at least i think it is. my eyes are still itchy, and i think i rubbed the living tar outta them this morning. they were rilly painful. sigh...it was cute tho cuz i gave hungsik the lil digimon keychain i got for free from getting the 1500 won patbingsoo at Lotteria and he was so happee. He was all playing with me and stuff last nite, and then this morning when I left, he screams in my face, "ahnnyunghee danyuh ohsaeyo!" hahaha..it was so cute. his mom was like wow...good job. :) he's so funnee. okies...back to work time...
1:20 pm
So I ate lunch in the basement of our office building, and now I'm back to pickin mah nose at work. I was just thinkin bout how weird it is that one IM conversation could have made my day so much better. As much as I have said in the past that I don't get homesick since I travel so much, and how I could just kind of live anywhere, I REALLY appreciate America now. Not only because my family is there, and because one conversation with Cat could make me smile for the rest of the day, but because of Korea in and of itself. I realized the extent of my homesickness when I talked to Cat for 4 hours and smiled for the rest of the day, but then the following days after that, I don't have much to look forward to. For instance, I could really do without people staring at me. I have yet to decide if it's because I look like i'm from America, because I'm taller than most Korean girls, or simply because of the social structure of Korea. I hate that it's all about money, status, power, and appearance. Everyone compares themselves to others...who has more money, who has better clothes, who can CAKE THEIR FACES with more makeup, who has had more COSMETIC SURGERY...and they're about the rudest people ever. I don't understand how you can possibly think that it's ok to push people aside just so you can get out of the subway faster, or to stand around pickin your nose so other people have to REALLY go out of their way to get somewhere. Koreans are ALL about noonchee and making sure that you are sensitive to what others think, so why don't they move outta the way? i'll never understand that...So, I realized that if you wear no makeup, people in Korea automatically think that you're young. So, I went to this Hof with Ina, Kong, and Sean in Apku and the lady asked ME specifically for an ID. I was like WhAT?! she said, you look particularly young...i about peed in my pants. I've always been told that I look super old compared to my actual age in America, yet I get carded in Korea. I will never understand that. Prob cuz I couldn't wear any makeup cuz of my jacked up face. Funnee how i always wanted to go to Korea, but now that I'm here for the 8th time in my life, I have vowed never to come back. ..
Friday, July 13, 2001, 10 am
Ima talking to the rents online...my dad wants me to come home. sigh..i really wanna go home too. sigh..i guess i'll see how the medicine works this week and then if things don't get better...I'll just work through July and go home. If my eyes permanently stay this itchy and swollen I don't even think I can take it...
Monday, July 16, 2001, 4:30 pm
ima talkin to kong...my eyes itch! sigh...so we're discussing issue of life right now. I'm gettin ready to get off work. yay! hehe...that always makes me happee. hehe...it's apparently butt hot outside. sigh...i dun like hot weather. So I feel like there are about a million things that I've been thinkin bout lately, but I dunno what to write now that ima actually in front of the computer. interesting...sooo..my dad tried to get a ticket for me to go home early, but there are no flights going out of Korea to the US til I leave on August 13. sigh...i was sad when i heard that. i was so looking forward to leavin in 2 weeks. it's weird cuz i feel like time has kinda gone by relatively quickly too cuz Ina is leaving in two weeks and I've barely gotten to see her cept for that one time with Sean and Kong, and I haven't seen Kong all that much either. It's weird, ya know? I really need to focus on the enjoyment of Korea and making the most of my time here. Granted, it's hard to do that when I feel miserable, and excruciatingly itchy, but im not comin back here for a long time right? I might as well make the most of it. too bad i can't eat all the stuff i wanna eat. oh well...:) hehe...there really are a lot of lil things in korea that are neat. i wish i woulda gone noraebang more. Kong really wants to go too, so we need to go. I haven't gone clubbing yet either!! sheesh...i rilly wanna go at least one time before i leave...the only time i'll get to go is with Kong and Ina cuz if ima not with Yonsei people, i dunno what other opportunity i'll have to go...so we'll see. hopefully i'll feel up to goin by next weekend...mebbe... :) hehe..okies wellz ima about to get off work so i'll go now. more tomorrow...
Wednesday, July 18, 2001, 2 pm
Soo...yesterday was a Korean holiday. Don't ask me which one cuz i dunno. I was just thankful that I didn't have to go to work. Hehehe...Monday was fun--we went to Dongdaemun, cept Migliore was closed, so we went to Doosan Tower. Got kicked out cuz we bought wallets and ran outta money. hahaha...yesterday was good too in shinchon...got gifts and cds and stuff. I'm amazed sometimes at how i can spend the whole morning just writing e-mails and chatting with people. Then I spend the afternoon doing webpage stuff and the whole day goes by. I don't have a whole lot of work these days, so that's a good thing. My body feels a lot better these days. I guess that nasty medicine works. It's still randomly itchy..eye and leg issues. But in general, the rest of my body is better. Too bad my lips are all funkybutt. Stingy, sore...burning. Too bad both sides of my mouth are like, permanently torn so I can't REALLY open my mouth wide enuf to eat. Since NETHING that touches my lips makes it sting. And the cuts on either side do not help contribute to this. A guy I work with, pointed out taht I had a zit on my forehead. In a FULL elevator at work this afternoon. I was liek WHAT?! there really is no need to point that out. Sheesh...koreans. that was kinda whatever tho. i ate donkatsu even tho i technically wasn't REALLY supposed to. hehehe...just a lil tho. i've had a pretty slow and relaxed day today..nothing big.
Thursday, July 19, 2001, 1:20 pm
Ever felt like something is wrong, but you dunno what? Or that things are kinda weird, but u dunno why? Das kinda how i feel...It's so odd cuz I feel perfectly fine when I wake up in the morning (aside from being extremely tired this morning) but then once I get to work and stuff, I just feel blah. Things that didn't used to bug me, bug me, and little things annoy me. Why is that? Have I changed? Has the world around me changed? Am I just having PMS? For some reason I'm not quite feeling that comfort that I usually do after my QT's and stuff. Mebbe that's my prob...I was reading some paragraph in a paper I was editing for my gomo and suddenly I missed Rice. I miss being in the RMC...I miss talking to Catherine as I walk back from the library at 2 am so she knows I'm safe...I miss riding in the silver Honda Civic that makes so much noise I can't hear very well...I miss being able to talk on a landline phone for free...I miss screaming that number 12 Mariah Carey song at the top of my lungs in the Beemer...I even miss Sunshine. imagine that. haha...mebbe it's not helping my mood that much that ima listenin to this extremely sad song from the drama "Beautiful Days" that I like so much. It's all sad...I would love to hear my mom yell at me for something right about now. That's when you know we're in trouble. I'm so weird sometimes...Everywhere I go, I always tell people how much I love my rents and how awesome they are, but then when i see them, all i do is give them grief and yell cuz they're annoying. i don't understand myself sometimes...Mebbe I need to learn to teach myself a more tolerant annoyance level toward people in general...but then i'm allowed to be annoyed. It doesn't ever say that you can't be annoyed. I just have to get those kinds of things out of my system. I sometimes wonder if things will all get better once I leave this country...
Monday, July 23, 2001, 9:30 am
So, I dun think u can possibly imagine the amount of rain that i just walked to work in...my goodness...where does alluv that rain come from?? Sheesh...everyone in this country is gunna be bald by the time the rainy season is over. As I was walking and getting completely soaked, I was all complaining in my head, and then i was like no...let's try to think of something positive about this so that i can stop being so complain-y while i'm in korea. So I was like hey, at least it's not hot. and then i went underground and sweat up a storm, so i had to ixnay that one. then i was like i know! my eyes aren't very itchy right now when ima outside. yay! and then they went nutz...so there went that. i sometimes wonder what my purpose is here in the good ol motherland. surely ima here for some reason, and i feel like part of it is to really help people out here to learn more about america and stuff. mebbe to know there's something better than HERE. hehe..jk. But just that I can communicate in Korean enuf to be able to relate to them and talk to them as a friend, and help them out with learning about america and how to handle their stuff with foreigners...i dunno. my eyes are especially bad today...i really don't feel well...they are severely itchy. looks like im getting more medicine...i felt like that helped, but now that it's gone, ima in sooo much discomfort. wow...it's unbelievable...sigh...i wish that i could remember how i used to feel..i guess this RILLY teaches me patience and to never take my health for granted. it's something i REALLY take for granted because it's so unbearable. i can't even begin to describe how unbearable it is to be living like this in KOREA. Of all places in the world...sigh...i try so hard to be happee and cheerful, but it's amazingly hard. I guess it helps to just remember how much people love me, and the amazing extent of God's love for me too. That's all I can look forward to. Mebbe that's what He's trying to teach me...I really admire people who are sick all the time and still manage to stay all happee and cheerful. This isn't even really an ILLNESS per se, but it makes me frustrated and sad all the time..and i can't help it. My dad's trying to get a plane ticket home for me...I dun think there will be one...I just prayed that there would be one so that I could have at least a lil bit of relief and get to go home earlier...
Tuesday, July 24, 2001 1:24 pm
Angelfire is down today, so Ima just writing this into Word until I can
transfer it to my page. For some reason my computer says that the date is
Wed the 25th but I know it's not. I came back from lunch and my computer
was goin allll nutz. Mebbe das why. Newaiz, so I had a good lunch at
Shinjung today with the azn superboy or whatever. Korean wonder boy? I think that's what he called himself. I got that all confused and called him the azn wonderman. haha..funnee...but newaiz, lunch was good aside from the fact that my lips are about 10,000 times worse than they were before. Sigh...have all this faith that I'll get better once I go back to
America, so it had better be troo! If I stay the same once I get back to the states ima gunna cry. I know I won't though. As long as this doesn't
happen in France, I should be fine. Cuz I'll only go back to Korea for
like, one week with Cat during our senior trip. Das it. ONE WEEK. Max. Cuz I won'tget sick within that time frame. Esp since I won't be working and
Cat and I will be having all kinds of fun. Hehehe..sounds good to me!
My face is all jacked up. I wonder what these times are supposed to teach
me. Mebbe humility. Hehe..or that looks don't matter that much in Korea.
Not as much as my jaded self thinks they do. Or a test of strength? Faith?
Love? Relationships? Whatever it is, Ima sure I'll be fine and things
always happen for a reason sooo....I guess I'll learn something from this. At least I had better or it'd be a huge waste of itching for 2 months! Hehe...
I really dun feel that stressed at work, but I guess I get yul badah
everyday simply by being in Korea and Korean people. The way the society
functions stresses me out. Mebbe das it?? severely tired?? think
it just my eyes that make me feel that way.
I got to talk to Cat today. Yay! That was good. Ima so excited for August
when she comes to KC. That's gunna be awesome. I can drive her all around
instead of the other way around. Hehehe too bad there won't be any Tan
Tan or boba tho. Oh well..we'll find something else fun to do with our
time, right? Hehe...it'd be fun even if we just sat at home and talked for
hours. 222 right? Hahaha? more like..lesse..91 hours. Sorry, you were
kinda off in your calculations. Hehe..That's gunna be the best!!
So, acupuncture doesn't really hurt that much. I've gotten it done
before and it was fine, and it's not that bad here either. I expected it
to be much more painful. I felt like it really helped my eyes yesterday so
that's good. Hopefully he can do something about my lips today.
Sigh..
Wednesday, July 25, 2001
Angelfire is still jacked up. I am EXTREMELY tired?¦this fatigue is
honestly to the point where I think I need to lay my head down or else my
whole body will cry. Forreal. I am sooooo tired. Wow. I haven't been this
tired since I've been here. I can't even keep my eyes open to type or
look at the computer screen. My entire body itches. I really feel like
curling up into a ball and going back home. It's almost as if I can't
concentrate on anything else. Last nite sucked. Everything went wrong. So
what else is new? I haven't the slightest clue what is wrong with me these
days??
3:09 pm
Tis only 3? Sigh?? more hours. I feel like I'm gunna faint. I dunno why
ima so tired..In addition to severe fatigue and HEAT STROKE. Which can only mean one thing...sigh...my worst nightmare. And I thought Korea couldn't get any worse. I guess I was wrong huh? We went to eat bulgogi at this place for lunch, which sounds like it should be good, but it wasn?™t. at all. I guess das what we get for 4,000 won huh? It feels as though my condition has worsened. Gee, imagine that. I am full of nothing but complaints these days. Why can I not be happy and see the joy in life? Why is that? What's wrong with me? I have found it difficult to explain to Korean people why America does not seem as hot as it does here. I guess they just don't understand the concept of central a/c wherever you go, and driving from your ac home, to your ac car in the garage w.o even goin outside, and how it's possible to park and go into more ac before you even realize that ur hot. Before your body has time to sweat. THAT is why it doesn't seem hot. Korea, unfortunately, does not have these luxuries, as I break out in sweat the second I step outside the boundaries of an air conditioned place. Too bad not everywhere even HAS ac. The joys the joys??
I wonder sometimes if I would be perfectly content living here if I had
always lived here. Obviously I never would've known NEthing different, but still...would I be as biased have studied abroad for looong periods of time. That's when you realize there is something better out there??
I have developed this odd affinity for juhns. Ya know, like the buchinggaes. I always eat those here in korea for some reason...dunno y. I dunno a lot of things, huh? Why is it that I'm always hungry RIGHT after I eat? I just ate like, 2 hours ago, yet I feel my stomach feeling rather empty, how is that possible? Grrr...Mebbe das why I'm fat. Everyone seems to be incredibly concerned with my weight. I am too now that I realize I weigh about an average of 20 pounds more than any Korean girl who exists, and is my height. They're all freakin SKINNY. So I feel fat. Granted, I prob have more muscle than they do, but too bad it turned into FAT in korea. Due to my lackage of working out. I was gunna go work out today cuz I have nothing to do, but then I didn't feel like it. I'm all butt tired and itchy and achy. I REALLY just want to go home and SLEEP...how can I be this tired?
Thursday, July 26, 2001, 10:36 am
Wow...another sleepy day. It's amazingly hot outside...adds to my fatigue
I guess...I can't believe that I'm this tired AGAIN, and it's only
10:30 in the morning. That means I have...about 5 more hours of work.
Wow...ah wellz...I'll survive. Ima so glad that I only have 2 1/2 days of
work left. Ahhh! Such a relief! Too bad that plane ticket probably won't
come thru. I really hope that it does...I've been praying for that ticket
quite fervently these days...
Friday, July 27, 2001, 11:50 am
So only 1 1/2 days left!! yay! I got paid today too! Amazing! I'm quite
impressed. :) Ima extremely hungree so I hope we go eat soon. I couldn't
sleep last nite again cuz I was so itchy. Among OTHER things...other itches and pains...sigh...I just keep in mind the fact that I will be perfectly fine once I go home. Wouldn't it be funnee if all the rashes just completely disappeared when I stepped onto US soil??? Then I would for sure know to blame my condition on this country. Not like I don't already. Hehe?¦I guess being sick makes you emotional huh? I get all emotional quite easily these days?¦another trip back to the doctor for mas acupuncture today. That should be fun. Hopefully it will help.
1:20 pm
I had a good lunch of bulgogi today. At least it was something I could eat
instead of that wretched budae jjegae I had yesterday. Too bad I couldn't
eat it. Dumb lips. So, I actually really look forward to the days where I go home after work and just sleep. Just rest. It's bearable hot in the
apartment, but they tend to turn on the ac a lot, so that's a blessing. So I think that this acupuncture and medicine business helps my eyes. That's
about the only effect I'm seeing as of now. It just makes them mildly less
itchy, and more like dry feeling. Kinda like they're tired. Always
wanting to close. I think that I prefer that to the constant itching tho.
It's just that I get these random SPURTS of seriously severe itching. That
last about like, 5 minutes. Those suck. Too bad it looks like all the skin
around my eyes are falling off. I wonder if I'll get sankapul after this
escapade. Hmm...I guess we'll see. That'd be interesting.
Monday, July 30, 2001, 4:15 pm
So, today is my last day working at Finger, Inc. EVER. Surprising how
relieving that is. Today has gone by pretty fast. I get to leqave in about
15 minutes to return the laptop and cell phone and eat dinner with my team
for the last time. It's a happee but sad time I guess. I'll miss these
people cuz they're all really kewl. But I cannot express how happee I am to get outta here. It'd be pretty funnee if alluva sudden all my rashes and stuff went away once I stopped working. I guess that would definitely mean it was from stress of work! hehe...my stomach feels very weird. for some reason whenever i eat mandu gook, my stomach always hurts. i have yet to figure out why...it's not like there's nething weird in there...I guess
there is a lot I have learned in the past few months. Patience,
understanding...among other things. hehe..those are the first two that come to mind. I know that I'll look back on this summer and say that I regret EVER coming here, but in reality...i guess that i really did have a lot of fun here. It's just that there were so many hard times and pseudo "fights" and crying and frustration, that those are the things i focus on. they really don't outweigh the good tho....well it's about time for me to head on over to paxnet and return this stuff...kinda bittersweet.
Saturday, August 11, 2001, 11:20 am
OH MY LAND...the time has FINALLY come. It has been awhile since I've updated this cuz Angelfire was down, and then i stopped work so i had no computer access. I haven't been doin much tho...nothing really to speak of. sittin at home...doin nothing at my grandma's house..listening to her nag and nag...ya know..the usual. hehe...ima in masan right now..flew out here yesterday to see eemo. it was fun! galbi..noraebang...goin to see a movie pretty soon...best time i've had yet. hehe..ima all better!!!! ima alll better!!! the only ailment now is that my stomach has been goin nutz latelyt, but i think das cuz of the medicine. i stopped takin that stuff cuz it was making my stomach tooooo weird. aside from that, there's not much goin on. ima all healed, ima goin home soon, i get to see cat soon...what more can i ask for? no more work...it's not that hot here lately..pretty cool actually..and this apartment my eemo has...WOW...it's niiice...almost feel like ima kinda in america cuz it's so clean. hehe..and they drive the infamous...EQUUS! hehe..i need to fix the rest of the stuff i copied and pasted,and add more, but i gotsta go watch a movie with my cousin soon, so i'd better go. :) more lataz...
On to the second thoughts page...
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