Little Green Men - 2x01
---
Mulder:
We wanted to listen... I wanted to believe, but the tools had been
taken away. The X-Files
had
been shut down. They closed our eyes. Our voices have been silenced. Our
ears now deaf to
the
realms of eXtreme possibilities.
---
Student:
Are you OK, Agent Scully? You kinda sounded, uh, a little spooky...
Scully:
(Reacts surprised to Mulder's nickname)
---
Mulder:
$4 for the first hour of parking is criminal. What you got better be worth
at least 45
minutes...
Scully:
You know, Mulder, from back there you look like him.
Mulder:
Him?
Scully:
Deep Throat.
Mulder:
He's dead, Scully. I attended his funeral at Arlington through 8-power
binoculars from
1000
yards away. Now the picture frame was turned down, you wanted to talk?
What have you found?
Scully:
I wanted to talk but I haven't found anthing.
Mulder:
It's dangerous for us just to have a little chat.
---
Scully:
What makes you think they care about us anymore, anyway?
Mulder:
So why have you bothered to come here covertly?
Scully:
Because I realize that it was the only way that you would see me.
---
Mulder:
...Actually the idea was presented to Hale one night while he was playing
billiards. An elf
climbed
in his window and told him to get money from the Rockefeller Foundation
for a telescope.
Scully:
And you're worried that all your life you've been seeing elves?
Mulder:
In my case, little green(grey really) men.
---
Mulder:
Seeing is not enough, I should have something to hold onto. Some solid
evidence. I learned that from you.(to Scully)
---
Scully:
Mulder, even if George Hale only saw elves in his mind, the telescope still
got built. Don't give up.
---
Samantha:
Mom and Dad said I could watch some movie, Buttmunch.
---
Sen.
Matheson: (Back to Mulder) Do you know this, Fox?
Mulder:
Bach, Brandenburg Concerto Number 3.
Matheson:
(Holding up 2 fingers) Two.
Mulder:
Good thing it wasn't a Double Jeopardy question...
---
Matheson:
Do you know the significance of this piece?
Mulder:
Well, uh, recalling music appreciation with Professor Ganz, Bach had a
genious for
polyphonic..
Matheson:
This is the 1st selection of music on the Voyager Spacecraft.
Mulder:
(makes an 'oh, yeah!' eXpression)
---
Matheson:
Do you like Bach, Mulder?
Mulder:
I live for Bach.
Matheson:
Then let's hear it again.
---
Scully:
I was told by the Assistant Director that Mulder was gone.
Agent:
So?
Scully:
So, whenever he's away I feed his fish.
---
Agent:
Just dump it in the tank.
Scully:
That would be bad for the fish.
---
Mulder:
No, Gorge, don't touch the red button. Noho on the Roho. 'K?
---
Mulder:
Deep Throat said 'Trust No One'. It's hard, Scully. Suspecting everyone,
everything. It wears
you down. You even begin to doubt what you know is the truth. Before, I
could only trust myself.
Now, I can only trust you. And they've taken you away from me.
---
Mulder:
They came, Scully. The ones that took her. They were here.
Scully:
Here? Or here? (Putting hand on his head)
---
Mulder:
A minute ago I was a four-bagger...
---
The Host - 2x02
---
Dmitri:
Why is this always my job?
Sailor:
Because you are young. And because it is terrible and smelly work.
---
Mulder:
(Giving seeds to Boze) Treat yourself.
Agent:
You're flying out of National. Your contact in Newark is Detective Norman.
Mulder:
How'd I draw the assignment?
Agent:
Assistant Director Skinner made the request.
Mulder:
Skinner requested me?
---
Mulder:
(Steps in sewer, eww) Ugh!
Norman:
Watch yourself.
Mulder:
Yeah, wouldn't want to *step* into anything.
---
Norman:
They say it cuts the smell if you don't breathe through your mouth.
Mulder:
They lied.
---
Norman:
Would you like us to turn the body over?
Mulder:
No, I'll take your word on it.
Norman:
Hey, Agent Mulder! What would you like us to do with the body?
Mulder:
(Pissed-off) Wrap it up and send it to the FBI care of Assistant Director
Skinner.
---
(Mulder
bursts into Skinner's Office)
Skinner:
Is there a problem, Agent Mulder?
Mulder:
Yeah, there is.
Skinner:
Then make an appointment.
Mulder:
It's kinda hard to make an appointment when you're up to your ass in raw
sewage being jerked
from one meaningless assignment to another.
Skinner:
Excuse me?
Mulder:
What's my next punishment? Scrubbing the bathroom floors with a toothbrush?
Skinner:
You're way out of line, Agent Mulder.
Mulder:
So I gathered...
---
Scully:
Is this seat taken?
Mulder:
No, but I should warn you, I'm experiencing violent impulses.
Scully:
Well, I'm armed, so I'll take my chances. I hear you really endeared yourself
to Assistant
Director
Skinner today.
Mulder:
You know sometimes it just gets hard to smile through it when they ask
you to bend down and
grab your ankles, you know?
---
Scully:
Apparently it had attached itself to the bile duct and was feeding off
the liver.
Mulder:
Lovely.
Scully:
Believe it or not something like 40 million people are infected worldwide.
Mulder:
This isn't where you tell me some terrible story about sushi, is it?
Scully:
Well maybe you'd rather hear what you could catch from a nice rare steak?
Mulder:
So what? The murder weapon was a top sirloin?
---
Scully:
...they are not creatures that go around attacking people.
Mulder:
Well, that's good. I didn't want to have to tell Skinner that his murder
suspect was a giant
bloodsucking
worm...
Scully:
No...
---
Reed:
City runs on several different systems. Some new, some built around the
turn of the century.
Almost
as old as Charlie here. Isn't that right, Charlie?
Charlie:
Ah, yes sir.
---
Mulder:
And all the sewage comes through this plant?
Reed:
560,000 people a day call my office on the porcelain telephone.
---
Reed:
Wouldn't surprise me. No telling what's been breeding down there in the
past 100 years.
---
Scully:
Platyhelminthes are often hermaphroditic. Mulder, this is amazing. Its
vestigial features appear
to
be parasitic, but it has primate physiology. Where the hell did it come
from?
Mulder:
I don't know. But it looks like I'm gonna have to tell Skinner that his
suspect is a giant
bloodsucking
worm after all.
---
Scully:
Somebody shoved this under my door. I guess you really do have a friend
in the FBI.
---
Mulder:
This is not a man, it's a monster. You can't put it in an institution.
Skinner:
And what do you do with it, Agent Mulder? Put it in a zoo?
---
Scully:
Is this seat taken?
Mulder:
No, but I should warn you I may reek a bit of the sewer.
Scully:
I'll take my chances.
---
Scully:
Mulder, Nature didn't make this thing. We did...
---
Blood - 2x03
---
Spencer:
Things like this aren't supposed to happen here.
Mulder:
42 year old real estate agent murders 4 strangers with his bare hands.
That's not supposed to
happen anywhere.
---
Spencer:
Played softball with this guy over Labor Day. He was one of those nice
guys. Couldn't play and didn't bitch about being stuck in right field...
Mulder:
What's wrong with right field?
Spencer:
Always the first to shake hands at the end of the game... didn't matter
whether he won or lost...
Mulder:
Gotta have an arm to play right field...
Spencer:
Bought a round of beers afterwards even though he didn't drink...
Mulder:
I played right field.
---
Mulder:
There have been reported abductee paranoia in UFO mass abduction cases...
Scully:
I was wondering when you'd get to that.
Mulder:
...I find no evidence of this to be the case.
---
Winter:
Agent Mulder? Larry Winter, county supervisor.
Mulder:
(Showing gloved hand) Pardon my rubber.
---
McRoberts:
S'okay if I have my breakfast?
Mulder:
It's the day's most important meal...
---
Frohike:
Hmm...
Byers:
In our April edition of The Lone Gunman we ran an article on the CIA's
new CCD-TH 2138 fiber-optic
lens micro video camera.
Langly:
Small enough to be placed on the back ofa fly.
Mulder:
Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the Oval Office...
Frohike:
Been there... Done that...
Byers:
That is an Eurasian Cluster Fly. They infest vegetation like, uh, apples
or cherries and can
inflict
a great deal of damage to crops.
Langly:
This one's probably been irradiated to control propagation.
Byers:
Or, agents of competing South American agricultural corporations posing
as Franklin City
employees
are releasing fertile flies to destroy the crop.
Frohike:
(Dunks fly in petrie dish, fly fries) Nope. This bug's been nuked.
Mulder:
(Patting Byers on back) It was a fine effort, though. Have you ever come
across this
chemical
compound?
Langly:
LSDM. Obviously you haven't read our August edition of TLG?
Mulder:
Oh, I'm sorry, boys. It arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity
Skin.
Byers:
Come over here.
Frohike:
(Playing with night goggles) So, Mulder? Where's your little partner?
Mulder:
She wouldn't come... She's afraid of her love for you.
Frohike:
She's tasty.
Mulder:
You know, Frohike, it's men like you that give perversion a bad name...
---
Mulder:
Hey, Frohike. Can I borrow those? (Night goggles)
Frohike:
If I can have Scully's phone number...
---
Winter:
I checked up on you. You have a pension for "spooky" evidence.
Mulder:
Don't start with that tired crap. Don't start diverting blame...
---
Mulder:
Scully, are you familiar with subliminal messages?
Scully:
You mean like seX in ice cubes in liquor ads? That's paranoia.
---
(Spencer
leaves after Mulder's tirade)
Mulder:
He's probably one of those people that thinks Elvis is dead...
Scully:
Mulder, I was wrong. Exposure to the insecticide *does* induce paranoia.
Mulder:
I think this area is being subjected to a controlled experiment.
Scully:
Controlled by who? By the government, by a corporation, by reticulans?
---
Scully:
This is odd... (Doorbell ripped out)
Mulder:
Frustrated Jehovah's Witness?
---
Sleepless 2x04
---
Mulder:
The article makes no mention of a fire.
Skinner:
Yes, Agent Mulder, I can read...
---
Krycek:
I paid off your cab. Yeah, I don't appreciate being ditched like someone's
bad date.
Mulder:
Sorry if I hurt your feelings.
Krycek:
Where do you get off copping this attitude? I mean you don't know the first
thing about me...
Mulder:
eXactly.
Krycek:
You know, back at the Academy, some of the guys used to make fun of you...
Mulder:
Stop it, or you'll hurt *my* feelings...
---
(Scene:
Scully is finishing weighing a 3.99 kg organ)
Mulder:
Spleen? Or pancreas?
Scully:
Stomach. I was just about to start on it.
Mulder:
Oh. Uh, This is AleX Krycek, we're... working the case together.
Scully:
Good to meet you (walks right by Krycek's outstretched hand).
---
Mulder:
What's this scar right here?
Krycek:
According to his medical history, the only surgery he ever had was an appendectomy.
Mulder:
Well, unless they got to his appendiX through his neck...
---
Mr.
X: The truth is still out there. But it's never been more dangerous.
---
Mulder:
Is he(Augustus Cole)
alive?
Krycek:
He was alive when the night manager saw him.
---
Scully:
I'm going over the reports you faxed me. They're incredible.
Mulder:
The military already sent troops through radioactive mushroom clouds. I
guess they figured they
had to top themselves, right?
---
Scully:
Even if you're right, you'll have a much better chance of finding Cole
if you work up a profile
and
try and surmise his next move.
Mulder:
Alright, I'll sharpen my pencils and I'll see you later...
---
Scully:
Sounds like your new partner's working out.
Mulder:
He's alright. He could use a little more seasoning and some, uh, wardrobe
advice. But he's
a
lot more open to extreme possibilities than...
Scully:
...then I was?
Mulder:
Than I assumed he would be.
Scully:
Must be nice not having someone questioning your every move, poking holes
in all your theories?
Mulder:
Oh oh, yeah... i-i-it's great, a-ah I'm surprised I put up with you so
long... (Very long and a bit sad pause)
Scully:
You better go...
---
Duane
Berry 2x05
---
Kazdan:
He's bent on taking the doctor with him to an alien abduction site, only
he can't quite remember
where the site is so he stopped at a travel agency.
---
Kazdan:
...So whatever crap ya gotta make up about spacemen or UFOs, just keep
him on the phone.
---
Duane:
Well I'm gonna hurt you, doc. Because this time you're going with Duane
Barry. So you can see what it's like. That it's REAL!!
---
Mulder:
Duane?
Duane:
Yeah?
Mulder:
This is Special Agent Fox Mulder. Look I want to try to help you.
Duane:
Yeah? Well, we're just sitting here waiting for, uh, travel plans.
---
Kazdan:
They would like it done as neatly and cleanly as possible (the FBI)
Mulder:
Well you're getting off to a hell of a start.
Rich:
Negotiation IS a process, Agent Mulder.
Mulder:
Well if you just wanted somebody to come down and read the script you didn't
have to bring
me out...
---
Mulder:
... Would you like to know what they do to a woman's ovaries?
Kazdan:
Not particularly.
Mulder:
Well then understand that you might have to alter your approach a little
bit here.
Krycek:
Is there anything I can do?
Kazdan:
Yeah. What's your name again?
Krycek:
Krycek.
Kazdan:
Krycek. Have you got your notepad?
Krycek:
Yeah...(starts pulling it out from jacket pocket)
Kazdan:
Grande, 2% cappuccino with vanilla. Agent Rich? (Rich shakes no, she
walks away,Krycek puts notepad back...)
---
(Realizing
he shot someone in his fright)
Duane:
I guess we're gonna need a doctor.
---
Duane:
It's like living with a gun in your head. And never knowing when it's gonna
go off...
Mulder:
You can let the others go, Duane... Let the others go and take me.
Duane:
Aw, they heard you talk like that, they gonna have your ass! (laughs)
Mulder:
(Sounding like a lunatic) I don't care about that, Duane.
Duane:
No. I wouldn't do that to you. Besides, Doc n' I got an appointment. Ain't
that right, Doc?
---
Ascension 2x06
---
Krycek:
The US Department of Transportation estimates that over 190,000 fatal car
crashes every year
are caused by sleepiness?
Mulder:
Did they estimate how many people are put to sleep listening to their statistics?
---
CSM:
We tell you only what you need to know.
Krycek:
I think I have the right to know.
CSM:
You have no rights. Only orders to be carried out. If you have
a problem with that we'll make
other arrangements.
---
Agent:
Why are you so paranoid?
Mulder:
Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I find it hard to trust anybody.
---
Mulder:
Why? Do they have something on him?
Mr.
X: They have something on everyone, Mr. Mulder. The question
is when they'll use it.
---
Mr.
X: They only have one policy: Deny Everything.
---
Skinner:
There is only one thing that I can do, Agent Mulder. As of right now, I'm
reopening the X-Files. That's what they fear the most.
---
Mrs
Scully: (Giving Mulder back the cross) When you find her
give it to her.
---
3
2x07
---
Policeman:
An FBI agent without a partner?
---
Mulder:
Hi, this is Marty Mulder from your payroll service?
---
Janitor:
Easy, man! Easy! Sorry, man. I didn't know you were there.
Damn freak night watchman down
there always breaking the light bulbs.
---
John:
I'll only talk to him...
Interrogator:
Lucky you (to Mulder)
---
John:
No! When a snake eats a fly, it's not murder. It just is.
Mulder:
Frogs eat flies... Are you dead?
John:
I never will be.
Mulder:
Do you believe that?
John:
Don't you want to live forever?
Mulder:
Well, not if drawstring pants come back into style.
---
Mulder:
It's a stiff price though. Look at yourself, drinking blood, living
in darkness, unable to see
your
reflection in a mirror. Or is that just a myth? (Pulls out
mirror, sees John's reflection).
John:
I can't be seen in no mirror.
---
Mulder:
It's more likely I'll be looking into your eyes at the moment before they
lead you into the gas
chamber.
---
One
Breath 2x08
---
Mrs
Scully: That day in the woods I felt for my daughter. But at this moment,
I know how my daughter felt.
---
Melissa:
We were told not to call you FoX.
Mulder:
By who?
Melissa:
Dana, just now.
---
Mulder:
I need to do more than just wave my hands in the air.
---
Byers:
Good work sneakin' out these charts...
Frohike:
Tucked them in my pants.
Mulder:
There's plenty of room down there.
Langly:
You look down, Mulder? Tell you what, you're welcome to come over Saturday
night. We're
all hoppin' on the Internet to nit-pick the scientific inaccuracies of
Earth 2...
Mulder:
I'm doing my laundry.
---
Mr.
X: I didn't expect you here till after visiting hours!
---
Skinner:
Yeah, come in. Sit down. I called you right up here because of rumors about
an incident at the
hospital last night?
Mulder:
Is this about the tooth that was found in the cafeteria Jell-O?
Skinner:
The rumor has it that you were involved? In the laundry room?
Mulder:
No sir?
Skinner:
A man was executed, Agent Mulder.
Mulder:
I was with Scully.
Skinner:
Traces of her blood were found at the scene.
Mulder:
May I see the police report?
Skinner:
There is no police report of this incident, Agent Mulder, and there is
no body. You know that.
Mulder:
Since I am unfamiliar with any such incident, sir, no, how would I know
that?
Skinner:
Knock it off!
Mulder:
How does it feel? Constant denial of everything. Questions answered with
a question?
Skinner:
I want to know what happened, dammit!
Mulder:
Him! That's what happened. Cancer Man! He's responsible for what's happened
to Scully.
Skinner:
How do you know that?
Mulder:
It's a rumor...
---
Skinner:
It's not your...
Mulder:
Oh, you can have it all, my badge, you can have the X-Files. Just tell
me where he is.
Skinner:
And then what? He sleeps with the fishes?
---
Mr
Scully: Hello, Starbuck. It's Ahab.
---
CSM:
Don't try and threaten me, Mulder. I've watched Presidents die...
---
CSM:
I have more respect for you, Mulder. You're becoming a Player.
---
Skinner:
When I started out this room was where they kept the copier.
Mulder:
At least back then it wasn't just wasted space.
---
Mr.
X: Your plane ticket...
Mulder:
Well, we hardly know each other...
---
Melissa:
Why is it so dark in here?
Mulder:
'Cause the lights aren't on.
---
Mrs
Scully: Hello, FoX.
Scully:
(Embarrassed, correcting Mom) Not FoX... *Mulder*.
---
Mulder:
I brought you a present. Superstars of the Superbowls...
Scully:
I knew there was a reason to live.
---
Firewalker 2x09
---
Mulder:
You think he's responsible for what happened?
Pierce:
Whatever there is between, me n' Trepkos, I pray that he isn't. We've got
$20 million tax dollars in this project. If word of it were to get out,
it could destroy years of work. I'm afraid to go
through
proper channels.
Mulder:
We're not exactly proper channels.
---
Ludwig:
This isn't what it looks like.
Mulder:
Just about took my head off... do you always greet people this way?
---
O'Neil:
...but with his medication we was just fine (Trepkos).
Ludwig:
Yeah, well I think Ericson's wife might disagree with that.
---
Mulder:
What do you make of Mr. Trepkos' neighborhood?
Scully:
What do you mean?
Mulder:
Don't you think their behavior's a little bizarre? Almost paranoid?
---
Scully:
Based on what?
Mulder:
Based on when Ludwig tried to play T-Ball with my head. He knew I wasn't
Trepkos.
Scully:
Now, Mulder, you're sounding paranoid.
---
Mulder:
I'm going to go find Trepkos.
Scully:
What if he's already dead?
Mulder:
Then he'll have a tough time answering my questions.
---
Mulder:
Why are you doing this, Trepkos? He's already dead. How many times do you
have to kill him?
Trepkos:
It's not him I'm trying to kill.
---
Red Museum 2x10
(skipped
this ep, but it'll be here soon)
---
eXcelsius Dei 2x11
---
Orderly:
Hey, guess who died this afternoon? Mrs. Richardson.
Orderly
2: Face landed right in a bowl of pudding.
---
Hal:
Gung said we could watch the rest of the fight.
Michelle:
Yeah, but do I look like Gung?
Hal:
No, you got a better figure. (Gropes Michelle)
Michelle:
You want to keep that hand, Hal, you'd better let go.
---
Scully:
Good morning.
Mulder:
Whatever tape you found on that VCR, it isn't mine.
Scully:
Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all the other tapes that
aren't yours.
---
Michelle:
Look, when you bathe somebody every day for 5 years, you get to know more
about them
than you really need to.
---
Hal:
I'm 74 years old. I've got plumbing older than this building. Hmm? (They
are looking at his um, ahh.. ahem...)
And
it doesn't work much better either.
Mulder:
Thank you for sharing.
---
Hal:
I thought whats-her-name was Rogered by a ghost. I may have one foot in
the grave,
but I certainly can't fly down hallways... spreading Amore.
Mulder:
Apparently not.
Hal:
If if if that's what it's like... If that's what it's like in Heaven, Lord
take me now!
Scully:
What do you think, Mulder?
Mulder:
'Bout his plumbing?
---
Mulder:
So you think Michelle Charters was raped by a 74 year old schizophrenic.
Scully:
It's possible.
Mulder:
An invisible 74 year old schizophrenic...
Scully:
Well, maybe it's not the medication, maybe it's the place itself.
Mulder:
Are you saying that the building's haunted? Because if you are, I think
you've been working with me too long.
---
Orderly:
(To Stan) What are you? Track star all of a sudden?
---
Scully:
Mulder, mushrooms aren't medication. They taste good on hamburgers but
they don't raise the dead...
Mulder:
Shamens have been using them for centuries to gain entrance to the spirit
world.
Scully:
I think you've been reading too much Carlos Casteneda. (or something spelled
like that)
---
Aubrey 2x12
---
Mulder:
(looking at missing teeth on X-ray) I brush after every meal. Would
you say they match?
---
Mulder:
During their time, Cheney's and Ledbetter's ideas weren't very well received
by their peers.
Using
psychology to solve a crime was something like... (points to Scully)
Scully:
Beleiving in the paranormal?
Mulder:
Exactly. But there's another mystery.
Scully:
Which is?
Mulder:
Well, I'd like to know why this police woman would suddenly drive her car
into a field the
size
of Rhode Island and for no rhyme or reason dig up the bones of a man whose
been missing for 50 years. I mean unless there was a neon sign saying 'Dig
Here'...
Scully:
I guess that's why we're going to Aubrey.
Mulder:
Yes, and, also, I've always been intrigued by women named BJ.
--
Scully:
(After Mulder's reading of Cheney) Well that's poetic but it doesn't
help us much.
--
Mulder:
Well, I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions but I'd say he's definitely
our prime
subject,
huh?
Scully:
Mulder, the man we're talking about is 77 years old.
Mulder:
Well, George Foreman won the heavyweight crown at 45. Some people are late
bloomers.
--
Mulder:
You mean a hunch?
Scully:
Yeah, something like that.
Mulder:
Well that's a pretty extreme hunch.
Scully:
Well I seem to recall you having some pretty eXtreme hunches.
Mulder:
(Smiling) I never have...
--
Cokely:
Doctors said I was sick back then. They gave me some pills. I served my
time and... now I'm
better.
Scully:
What kind of pills.
Cokely:
Red and white ones, litle sister.
--
Cokely:
...On the night you're talkin' about, I was sitttin' here watching a show
about a lost dog. Then
after
that it was a show about a...
Scully:
That won't be necessary.
Cokely:
Good. Now, are you about finished with me, little sister?
Scully:
For now.
Cokely:
(Cough, Wheeze, hack...)
--
Scully:
I don't think that Mendel had serial killers in mind when he developed
his theory on genetics.
--
Mulder:
There are countless stories of twins who are seperated at birth who end
up in the same
occupation,
marrying the same kind of people, each naming their child Waldo.
Scully:
Waldo?
--
Scully:
Well then how do you explain the cuts on her own chest?
Mulder:
I can't explain everything. Maybe she carved them on herself or maybe it's
some kind of
wierd
stigmata. Whatever it is, BJ's not herself.
--
BJ:
This time you'll stay dead (to Mulder)
--
Irrisistable 2x13
Bocks:
Anything slightly freakazoid, that's the drill. Call Mo Bocks. As if I'm
tight (?) with all the nut
cases
in town.
--
Mulder:
Tends to be bad for business when those kind of stories get around..
--
Bocks:
You're saying some human's been doing this?
Mulder:
Yeah, if you want to call him that.
--
Mulder:
Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers. Fetishists collect dead
things- fingernails
and
hair. Noone quite knows why. Though I've never really understood salt and
pepper shakers
myself.
--
Scully:
It took us 3 hours to get here, our plane doesn't leave until tomorrow
night. If you
suspected...
Mulder:
Vikings versus Redskins, Scully. 40 yard line in the Hubert H. Humphrey
Metrodome. You
and
me.
--
Newscaster:
Oh, long pass, Chris Carter with the catch. And Carter brought down by
Lars Mayos
(?)
at the Washington 5 yard line for a Viking 1st down!
Bocks:
Sorry you had to miss your game but- we found more bodies dug up.
Scully:
Did you get your forensics report on the first murder?
Newscaster:
Carter's gotta be happy about that!
--
Bocks:
There was somebody down there in the grave, cut the hair with a pair of
pinking shears.
Gotta
wonder about this guy...
Mulder:
Well at least he wasn't down there with his dippity-do and his blow-dryer.
--
Prostitute:
You gonna catch this guy?
Bocks:
We'll catch him.
Mulder:
It might be a good week to take that paid vacation the boss owes you.
Prostitute:
Yeah. Right.
--
Mulder:
...It's an unfathomable hatred of women. Probably going back to his mother.
Bocks:
I'd say she's pretty fried at him, too.
--
Mulder:
You know people videotape police beatings on darkened streets. They manage
to spot
Elvis
in three cities across America every day. But noone saw a pretty woman
being forced off the
road
in her rental car.
Ed-
I second the pretty woman part]
--
Mulder:
Where would he go?
Bocks:
Anywhere but his mother's, right?
Mulder:
Why do you say that?
Bocks:
Being he's so pissed off at her, from what your profile says. Right?
--
Pfaster:
There's no way out, girlie-girl... I know this house, girlie-girl, there's
nowhere to hide.
--
Die Hand Die Verletzt 2x14
---
Paul:
Well if he wants to be young I have no problems with Grease or Annie or..
Psych:
Doesn't Grease have the F-word?
(Note
added in HTMLing... this may have been the inspiration for the holiday
episode of South
Park!)
--
Sheriff:
Well I know he and his friends listen to devil music.
Mulder:
'The Night Chicago Died?'
--
Sheriff:
This stump here is supposed to be the ceremonial altar. What do you think?
Mulder:
I think with a few turquoise chips, a picture of John Wayne and 3 cans
of shellac it would
make
a pretty nice coffee table.
--
Scully:
Well most people don't set out to drink 2 six-packs by themselves.
--
Mulder:
Better hide your Megadeth albums.
--
(Toads
falling, Mulder looks up with hope, reaching out to touch the unknown,
then looks like he's
going
crazy and wipes his face)
Mulder:
So... Lunch?
Scully:
Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!
Mulder:
Guess their parachutes didn't open. You were saying something about this
place not feeling
odd?
(Mulder
leaves, Scully picks her path carefully through the toad sea)
--
Scully:
The FBI recently concluded a 7-year study and found little or no evidence
of the existence of
occult
conspiracies.
Psych:
And J Edgar Hoover never admitted to the existance of the Mafia.
--
Mrs.
Paddock: Extra credit will be given for dissecting the heart.
--
Mrs.
Paddock: Some kids just have trouble dissecting things.
--
Ausbury:
We skip over the ancient rituals that we didn't want to do.
Mulder:
Like drinking grape juice instead of wine at communion? Did you really
think you could call
up
the devil and ask him to behave?
--
Scully:
It would take a large python hours to consume and weeks to digest a human
being.
Mulder:
You really do watch The Learning Channel.
--
Fresh Bones 2x15
---
Mulder:
Private John McAlpin, one of the few... proud... the dead. Last week he
wrapped his car
around
a tree, died on impact.
---
Scully:
Let's go, Mulder.
Mulder:
Wait, you should always carry protection.
---
Scully:
...I'll admit the power of suggestion is considerable, this is no more
magic than a pair of fuzzy
dice...
(the charm from Chester).
---
Scully:
He's non-verbal, non-responsive to voice, touch or pain. The neurologists
suspect he's
suffered
a severe concussion in the crash resulting in amnesia.
Mulder:
It's a plausible diagnosis only I'm more interested in how he came back
to life.
Scully:
Well obviously he never left.
---
Scully:
Except this is strange. The lab detected trace levels of tetrodotoxin in
his blood. That's a
poison
found in the liver and reproductive organs of Puffer fish, a Japanese delicacy.
Mulder:
Only I get the feeling that Private McAlpin didn't frequent too many sushi
bars.
Scully:
You have a theory on how it got into his blood?
Mulder:
What do you know about zombies?
Scully:
Well I hope you don't intend to tell Robbie McAlpin that she married one...
---
Scully:
(On discovering Chester's Bag 'O Frogs) Maybe I should kiss a few and find
out if one is
Gutierez.
(Ed-
Maybe they were toads that fell out of the sky :)
---
Chester:
He (Bauvais) even made my fries disappear!
Mulder:
Well Chester, I got magic, too. And I bet I can make your fries reappear.
---
Scully:
You think he's telling the truth?
Mulder:
Until I can figure out why he lied, yeah.
---
Colonel:
I'm sorry. I'm having my breakfast.
Mulder:
That's alright. We already ate.
---
Mulder:
You O.K.?
Scully:
I feel better than you look...
---
Colony 2x14
Mulder:
What happened to me out on the ice has justified every belief. If I should
die now it will be
with
the certainty that my faith has been rightous. And if through death larger
mysteries are revealed I
will
have already learned the answer to the question that has driven me here.
That there is intelligent
life
in the universe other than our own. That they are here among us. And that
they have begun to
colonize.
---
Shipman
1: You've got to see this, Captain. We've got a UFO or something buzzin'
us. Right up
here...
Shipman
2: It's been just hovering up there for about 20 minutes.
Cap't:
Could be a helicopter...
Ship
2: Not the way it flew over us
Ship
1: It's coming at us again
Ship
2: It's gonna crash!
Cap't:
Reverse Engines!
Navigator:
All astern!
Captain:
We're going after it.
(dummy...)
---
Mulder:
Oh, hey. I've been looking for you.
Scully:
I was just down the street. Someone fired more shots at the White House
last night.
Mulder:
You gotta wonder about a country where even the President has to worry
about drive-by
shootings.
---
Mulder:
...all worked in abortion clinics. They died in separate arson fires.
Scully:
Sounds like the work of militant right-to-lifers...
---
Scully:
Triplets?
Mulder:
Nope. I can't find any blood connection between them. In fact, I can't
find any records on
them
at all. It's as if before they died, they never existed.
Scully:
What?
---
Policeman:
Dr. Prince performed legal clinical abortions. He seems to be having his
own share of
occupational
hazards these days.
---
Police:
We're hoping for an indictment.
Mulder:
Soon as you locate Dr. Prince's remains...
---
Scully:
I've got a bad feeling about this case, Mulder.
Mulder:
What do you mean?
Scully:
Well, nothing about it makes sense. We've got three deaths of identical
victims, no bodies, a
virtual
non-suspect...
Mulder:
Sounds just like an X-File...
---
Mulder:
If somebody really wanted to set us up would they give us this little to
go on?
---
Mulder:
How would you access that (voice mail)
Newspaper
Clerk: Well, you'd start by paying the bill.
---
Scully:
How are you feeling?
Mulder:
Like I should have used the crosswalk. A lot better than my phone.
---
Scully:
Our 'friend' from the CIA is about as unbelievable as his story. As is
everything about this
case.
I mean, whatever happened to 'Trust No One,' Mulder?
Mulder:
I changed it to 'Trust Everyone'. I didn't tell you?
---
Scully:
Well Skinner's going to wonder why you didn't file your report. What are
you going to say?
Mulder:
Just the truth. I got hit by a car.
(Ah,
it's so reminiscent of fibbing to the teacher)
---
'Samantha':
Is it too late for a game of Stratego?
Mulder:
It's twenty-two years too late.
---
End Game 2x15
Captain:
Prepare to surface!
Midshipman:
Surface into what? We're under 32 feet of glacial ice!
---
'Mulder':
Okay, I'm going to take my left hand and reach into my pocket and get my
ID, okay? Just
don't
shoot me. I got shot once and I didn't much care for it...
---
'Samantha':
I know how to kill him.
Mulder:
how?
'Samantha':
By piercing the base of the skull...
Mulder:
That would kill anybody.
---
'Samantha':
I'm fairly sure it will work
Mulder:
'Fairly sure'???
---
Mulder:
That's a good story. But I've heard a lot of good stories lately.
---
Mulder:
(lounging on the couch with a loaded gun) Make yourself at home...
Skinner:
What's going on here, Agent Mulder? Why are all the lights out?
Mulder:
Orders from my opthalmologist.
---
Mulder:
These guys can hollow out a dime at 200 yards.
---
Mr.
X: You wanted to see me?
Mulder:
How was the opera?
Mr.
X: Wonderful. I've never slept better. I don't like these hasty public
meetings, Agent Mulder.
Mulder:
I'm sorry. I need your help.
Mr.
X: It's over. The fat lady is singing.
---
Mr
X: The key to winning the war, Mr. Mulder, is knowing which battles to
fight. (might have been
picking
the right battles to fight)
---
Mr.
X: Excuse me..
Skinner:
Did you tell her what she needed to know? (slams X against the elevator
wall) How hard to
you
want to make this?
Mr.
X: No harder than it has to be. (Headbutts Skinner, they exchange blows,
Skinner finally tossing
X
down on the floor. X pulls gun)
Mr.
X: I've killed men for far less.
Skinner:
You pull that trigger you'll be killing 2 men. Now I want to know where
Mulder is...
(man,
this was the best Skinner scene yet!!!)
---
Scully:
How did you get this?
Skinner:
(Looking all beat up) Unofficial channels...
---
Sharpshooter:
Is the answer to your question worth dying for? Is that what you want?
Mulder:
Where is she? Just tell me where she is.
Sharpshooter:
She's alive. Can you die now?
---
Scully:
Hey... How you feeling?
Mulder:
Like I got a bad case of freezer burn.
---
Scully:
Thanks for ditching me... (wow, we can see her mole in this scene!)
---
Scully:
Did you find what you were looking for?
Mulder:
No... no. But I found something I thought I'd lost. Faith to keep looking...
---
Fearful Symmetry 2x16
Janitor:
They don't pay you to dance, Roberto... God is watching...
---
Mulder:
Well if somebody would have seen it, Scully, we wouldn't be here... (deleted)
I'd be willing
to
admit the possibility of a tornado, but it's not really tornado season.
I'd even be willing to entertain
the
notion of a black hole passing over the area or some cosmic anomaly but
it's not really black hole
season
either...
---
Mulder:
If I was a betting man I'd say it was, uh...
Scully:
An invisible elephant?
Mulder:
I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear once.
---
Scully:
What are you looking for, Mulder?
Mulder:
Uh, local paper... I want to see if David Copperfield is in town.
---
Willa:
Elephants aren't particularly good jumpers, if that's what you're thinking...
---
Mulder:
How's your relationship with Ed Meecham?
Willa:
I'm his boss and I'm a woman, and Ed doesn't like that much.
---
Scully:
And you consider that inhumane treatment?
Kyle:
It's like you were out living in a pickle barrel.
---
Kyle:
...All animals should run free.
Scully:
Even if that means trampling a man to death?
Kyle:
Maybe he should have gotten out of the way.
Mulder:
I'm sure he would have if he had seen it coming.
---
Mulder:
It's all happening at the zoo, Scully.
---
Scully:
And where are you going?
Mulder:
Talk to the animals (The Lone Gunmen).
---
Frohike:
Beam me up Scotty!
Mulder:
Did anybody ever tell you the camera loves you, Frohike?
Frohike:
Yeah, the arresting officers at the Free James Brown rally...
Byers:
What's this costing the taxpayers, Mulder?
Mulder:
Uh, about 150 bucks an hour.
Frohike:
Ouch! Almost as much as Bill Clinton's haircuts!
Mulder:
Where's Langly?
Byers:
He has a philosophical issue with having his image bounced off a sattelite.
Frohike:
What are you doing in Idaho?
---
(Mulder's
cel-phone beeps)
Frohike:
(Eyebrows up) If that's the lovely Agent Scully, let her know I've been
working out... I'm
buff!
---
Scully:
Well that guy really pisses me off.
Mulder:
You OK, Scully?
Scully:
Yeah...
Mulder:
Calmed down?
---
Mulder:
What?
Scully:
Is this who you wanted to speak with? (Sophie)
Mulder:
It's basic investigative procedure, Agent Scully. Interview all the possible
witnesses.
---
Scully:
I hope you know what you're getting us into, Mulder.
Mulder:
I'm pretty sure of what we're gonna find.
Scully:
'Cause this isn't exactly in my job description.
Mulder:
Ah, next thing you know they'll be doing it on MTV Sports.
(Possibly
a reference to DD's being on Rock-n-Jock B'Ball?)
---
Scully:
There's evidence of hyperplasia and the corpus luteum is ruptured.
Willa:
(Reacting to the evidence that the elephant was preggers) That's not possible.
Mulder:
Neither is an invisible elephant.
---
Construction
worker: (Laughs) Still can't believe you bet on the Chargers!
---
Ed:
It's all right, Willa. They don't all talk and draw pictures. (Referencing
shooting the tiger)
---
Willa:
Aliens impregnating zoo animals?
Mulder:
Yes, and harvesting embryos.
Willa:
Why?
Mulder:
Maybe their own Noah's ark? To preserve the DNA of those animals that we're
depleting
to
extinction. Whatever it is, that's probably the reason why you've never
had a successful birth at
this
facility.
Willa:
I think that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Mulder:
I understand that you might think it was ridiculous and maybe you should
ask Sophie...
---
Scully:
I was looking for a pen to finish my report in Willa's office. I found
this in a drawer.
(Pen
with Kyle's Organization Logo on it)
Mulder:
It's a Small World After All...
---
Dod Kalm 2x17
---
Scully:
Feeling any better?
Mulder:
Oh. You're lucky you inherited your father's legs.
Scully:
What?
Mulder:
Sea legs...
Scully:
Oh...
---
Trondheim:
It's a ghost ship. I mean, look at all this corrosion. Noone's been on
this ship in 20... 30
years.
---
Trondheim:
I guarantee it was Olaffson's men took my boat and left him stranded here.
It's just like
these
dogs to slit each other's throats.
---
Mulder:
I think I lapped George Burns...(a)
---
Mulder:
You're almost out of pages. It's good you kept a record.
---
Scully:
I looked everywhere. And this is all I could find... It's sardine juice,
half a dozen lemons and
uh...
the water from a snow globe.
Mulder:
Slurp! (licking lips).
Scully:
It's not Evian...
---
Mulder:
You know, I always thought when I got older, I'd maybe take a cruise somewhere.
This
isn't
exactly what I had in mind... The service on this ship is terrible, Scully.
It's not fair... It's not our time. We still have work to do...
---
Humbug 2x18
Mulder:
(referring to photo of corpse) This shows the entry wounds of the undetermined
weapon.
There
were no other injuries inflicted upon the body, no internal organs were
removed and/or
cannibalized,
and there's no signs of any sexual molestation, either.
---
Armless
eulogist: ...for although Jerry was a world-renowned escape artist, there
is one strongbox
from
which none of us can escape..." (coffin begins to shake violently, as if
Jerry's about to make an
escape)
---
Doc
Block: (Block) ...But as an admirer of the man's work, I am in a position
to perform an
impromptu
tribute in his honor! Namely, ramming this spike into my chest!
---
Mulder: (After everyone leaves) I can't wait for the wake.
---
Mulder: I got the impression that Glazebrook wasn't the only sideshow performer residing here...
---
Sheriff: ...on the inside, they're as normal as anybody.
Scully:
Until their arrest, many serial killers are considered by their friends
and family to be quite
normal.
If you truly regard these people as normal, then you must also consider
the possibility that
they
are capable of committing these crime.
---
Helm:
...it's not a funhouse, it's a tabernacle of terror.
Sheriff: It's a funhouse.
---
Sheriff: You don't mean to tell me you think these tracks are made by the Fiji* Mermaid?
Scully: Do you recall what Barnum said about suckers? (She indicates Mulder)
(*Some people have indicated that Barnum spelled it Feejee)
---
Mulder: Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?
Mr Nut: And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus? Much less been enslaved by one?
Mulder: I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just thought that...
Mr
Nut: You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that the
only career I could
procure
for myself would be one confined to the so-called 'Big Top'. You took one
quick look at
me,
and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never did it occur to
you that a person of my
height
could have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel Management.
Mulder: I'm sorry. I meant no offense.
Mr
Nut: Well then why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature
to make instantaneous
judgements
of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Well I've done
the same thing to
you,
for example. I've taken in your all- American features, your dour demeanor,
your unimaginative
necktie
design, and concluded that you work for the government; an FBI agent...
but do you see the
tragedy
here? I have mistakenly deduced you to a stereotype. A caricature, instead
of regarding you
as
a specific, unique individual.
Mulder: But I am an FBI agent (flips out badge)
(dog
whines)
---
Mulder:
(To bellman) Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life? (Oh
no, here we go
again...)]
...later...
Lenny:
Mr. Nut, the kind-hearted manager here, convinced me that to make a living
by publicly
displaying
my deformity lacked dignity. So... now I carry other people's luggage.
I believe these are
your
trailers; if they are not... then I am wrong.
Mulder:
(Bends over to take suitcases, but while he's down there, thakes a long
hard look at
Leonard,
the twin. Feeling guilty that Lenny notices it, slips him some money.)
Lenny: "Oh, that's most considerate. Thank you very much."
---
Bellman:
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. No, no, that's...
that's not what I meant..
I...
I didn't mean to imply that we had bedbugs... I... I meant to say don't
let... don't let the...
Mulder: The Fiji mermaids bite.
Bellman: Yes, that's right... The Fiji Mermaids...
---
Mulder: Just try not to be so exclusive, Scully.
Scully:
As long as you try not to let the atmosphere of this town distort your
list all out of proportion.
---
Block:
How many people do you know that can get out of a straight jacket in under
3 minutes?
Scully: Fortunately none...
---
Mulder: Have you ever performed this... act on anyone else? (Putting a nail up the nose)
Block:
What, are you sick? I tell my audiences that if they're stupid enough to
try this on themselves
they'll
end up with a slight lobotomy. I am a professional.
Mulder: Exactly how does one become a professional Blockhead? May I? (pull out the nail)
---
Block:
Did you know that through the protective practice of Tiea Bu Shan, you
can train your
testicles
to draw up into your abdomen?
Mulder: Oh, I'm doing that as we speak...
---
Mulder: I saw him this morning down by the river. He was eating a fish.
Block: He knows eating between-show snacks will ruin his appetite.
Mulder:
I could be mistaken. Maybe it was another bald-headed jigsaw puzzle tattooed
naked guy I
saw.
Scully: Is this man also a body manipulator?
Block: No, in the classical sense The Conundrum is a geek.
Mulder: he eats live animals...
Block:
He eats anything: live animals, dead animals, rocks, light bulbs (too bad
they wouldn't let him
on
FOX), corkscrews, battery cables, cranberries...
Scully: Human flesh?
Block:
Only The Conundrum can answer that question. But, he doesn't answer questions,
he merely
poses
them. When an audience partakes in The Conundrum's human piranha act, they
are left to ask
themselves...
why? But, where are my manners? (Offers Scully a cricket-filled jar)
Scully:
(Takes one) Thank you. (Eats cricket, smiles at Mulder then walks away.
Mulder refuses the
crickets)
---
Scully:
(Pulling cricket out of M's ear) It's an old sleight of hand my uncle taught
me. He was only an
amateur
magician but he was still better than those two.
Mulder:
Well I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test the blood on the
window against the
blood
on Dr. Blockhead's nail. (Produces nail from mid-air). Everybody's uncle's
an amateur
magician.
---
Museum placard: "Freaks Free, Others Please Leave Donation"
Scully: (leaves donation)
Darn, and we all thought Scully was a freak...%^)
---
Curator: At the autopsy it was officially concluded that Chang died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
Scully: And what was the official cause of Eng's death?
Curator: Fright.
---
Mr
Nut: I know what you're thinking my friend, but you're grossly mistaken...
Just because I'm not
of
so-called average height does not mean I must receive my thrills vicariously.
Not all women are
attracted
to overly tall, lanky men such as yourself. You'd be surprised how many
women find my
size
intriguingly alluring.
Mulder:
You'd be surprised how many men do as well.. (since Mr Nut is at the exact
height
to...well...)
Mr Nut: (Disgusted) Fegh.
Scully: Oh, it's you. Is Mr Nut finished with the plumbing.
Mulder (Doh!)
---
Mulder: (pauses from his digging) Scully, hypertrichosis does not connote lycantrophy.
Scully: What are you implying?
Mulder:
We're being highly discriminatory here. Just because a man was once afflicted
with
excessive
hairiness, we've no reason to suspect him of aberrant behavior.
Scully: It's like assuming guilt based solely on skin color, isn't it?
(sheepish looks exchanged; then... back to the digging!)
---
Sheriff: May I ask what you're doing?
Mulder: We're exhuming... your potato.
Sheriff: May I ask why?
Scully:
Sheriff, it's... it's... it's been documented that many serial killers...
(insert long rationalization
here)
Mulder: (interrupting Scully's yatta yatta) We found out that you used to be a dog-faced boy.
(gives pamphlet to Sheriff)
Sheriff: Boy, look how skinny I was back then.
---
Scully: That doesn't quite explain the potato.
Sheriff: I got... ah, some warts on my hand.
Mulder: That doesn't quite explain the potato.
---
Sheriff:
To get rid of warts, you... rub a sliced potato on your hand and bury it
under a full moon.
Investigation
isn't going too well, is it?
Mulder: (tosses potato back into hole)
---
Sheriff:
...I spent the first half of my life as Jim Jim. Then one morning I noticed
a bald spot on top of
my
head and realized I wasn't only losing my hair but my career as well. Eventually
all the hair went,
on
top my head anyways. The rest of my body's still pretty hairy, which is...
why I never go to the
beach.
---
Mr
Nut: So tell me, Commodore? Why are the weirdos the only ones that pay
their rent checks in
advance?
---
Scully:
You know, Mulder. For a while there I was beginning to suspect this case
involved something
a
bit more... uhm...
Mulder:
Freakish? You really shouldn't complain about banality, Scully. When your
main suspect is
the
human Blockhead...
---
Block: ...If people knew the true price of spirituality, there'd be more atheists.
(he has hooks in his chest with fishing line tied to each)
---
Scully: Sir, if you're going to be uncooperative, I'll have to handcuff you.
Block: What gives you fascists the right to do that?
Scully: Did I not mention we're federal agents?
Block: Did I not mention that I'm an escape artist?
(pops right out of the cuffs)
(Block
breaks free, pushes Mulder down and goes out the door, Mulder falls onto
bed of rusty
nails)
Scully: Mulder, are you alright?
Mulder: It's more comfortable than a futon...
Sheriff: Hey, look what I caught! (Has Block by the fishing lines, tugs at it to emphasize point)
Block: Ouch!
---
Block:
So..., your twin can, uh (makes 'exiting' motion) and then...(makes 'entering'
motion)? (Lenny
nods)
What an act!
--
Mulder: (To Conundrum) Have you seen a... a... (gives up trying to describe Leonard)
---
Sheriff:
Now you're sure it was the twin running around here? Now maybe it was the
Fiji Mermaid,
he
jumped back in the river and swum his way back to Fiji...
Mulder: (To Scully) Now you know how I feel.
---
Scully: I already performed the autopsy on him (Lenny) this morning.
Block: So I guess it's true. You can never go home again.
---
Block:
...You see, I've seen the future, and the future looks just like him...
(Mulder in a classic GQ
pose)
Imagine, going through your whole life looking like that. That's why it's
left up to the self-made
freaks
like me -n- The Conundrum to remind people...
Scully: Remind them of what?
Block: Nature abhors normality. It can't go too long without a mutant.
---
Mulder: What's the matter with your friend?
Block: I don't know what his problem is. Maybe it's the Florida heat?
Scully: Hope it's nothing serious.
Conundrum:
Probably something I ate. (Grins)
---
The Calusari 2x17
Mulder:
...You see this is a helium balloon here, and the only thing I learned
in kindergarten is when
you
let them go they
float
up, up and away. But you see this is moving away from him.
Horizontally.
Scully:
Did you learn about wind in kindergarten?
---
Chuck:
...but with this special software which... I designed...
Mulder:
(Gives Scully an 'I don't know...' look about Chuck)
Chuck:
...we can detect hidden 'information'.
---
Scully:
So you're saying that a... a ghost killed Teddy Holvey...
Mulder:
(Points to screen as if to say 'Well here it is...')
---
Mulder:
...I think from the... 'information'... here, this is clearly some kind
of poltergeist activity.
Scully:
Mulder, this information is the same reason why I'll see a newspaper photo
with Jesus' face
appearing
in the... the foliage of an Elm tree.
---
Scully:
I've seen some pretty slippery 2 year olds...
---
Mulder:
...So unless Teddy Holvey was the reincarnation of Houdini. And that
would have been an
X-File
in itself.
Chuck:
(Gives Scully an 'I agree with him' look) (YAY!!! Houdini finally might
make it back from the
dead!!!)
---
Scully:
Well I think this boy needs as much protection as he can get, but just
not from ghosties and
beasties.
(Scully
is quoting the old Scottish prayer- 'From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy
beasties, the
Good
Lord deliver us')
---
Scully:
Have you ever heard of Munchausen by Proxy?
Mulder:
Yeah, my grandfather used to take that for his stomach.
---
Holvey's
official job: Inter-Governmental Affairs Manager, from his nameplate on
the desk.
---
Mulder:
Before Chuck succumbed to the glamours of academia he did a tour of duty
on the old
Hippie
Trail.
---
Chuck:
In 1979 I witnessed a guru named Sy Baba create an entire feast out of
thin air.
Scully:
Too bad you didn't take a picture. You could have run it through
your computer and seen
the
entire Last Supper.
---
F. Emasculata 2x17
Scully: According to the briefing, prisoners escaped by hiding in a laundry cart.
Mulder:
I don't think the guards are watching enough prison movies.
---
Mulder:
I thought this was about escaped prisoners...
Scully: It is.
Mulder:
Then who are the men in the funny suits?
---
Marshall:
FBI, we're not a crook and politician sting. (Okay, I couldn't get the
last part of the line...
:(
--
Marshall:
Well then you'd be a real big help is you just tried to... stay out of
the way.
Mulder: Well, we'd be happy to, soon as we can talk to someone who's in CHARGE...
Marshall: (Peeved) I'm in charge here.
Mulder:
Apparently not, or you'd know why our involvement was requested.
---
Scully:
Where are you going?
Mulder:
To see if I can get in the way.
---
Mulder:
Deadly? How deadly?
Scully:
Well, from what I've seen so far, 36 hours after infection deadly.
--
Mean
Doc: (To Scully) You see what I let you see. (Of course, Scully then practically
gets the run of
the
place)
---
---
CSM:
The truth would have caused panic. Panic would have cost lives. We control
the disease by
controlling
the information.
Mulder: You can't protect the public by lying.
CSM:
It's done every day...
---
CSM:
How many people are being infected while you stand here not doing your
job? 10? 20?
What's
the truth, Agent Mulder?
---
Scully:
There'll be a time for the truth, Mulder, but this isn't it.
---
Skinner:
You really have no idea who you're dealing with, do you?
Mulder:
I THOUGHT I was dealing with you.
---
Skinner:
I stand right on the line that you keep crossing.
---
Skinner:
Agent Mulder. I'm saying this as a friend. Watch your back. This is just
the beginning.
---
Soft Light 2x17
---
Kelly:
Heard a lot about you... (to Mulder)
Mulder:
(To Scully) We'll talk later...
---
Kelly:
Agent Scully, what are you looking at?
Scully: Uh, the heat register.
Kelly: You don't think anyone could have squeezed in there?
Mulder:
You never know... (alluding to Tooms)
---
Scully:
Having a little fun? (grilling Kelly)
---
Scully:
(responding to spontaneous combustion theory) Let's just forget for the
moment that there's
no
scientific theory to support it.
Mulder:
Okay.
---
Mulder:
Hey Scully, can you spare a prophylactic? (rubber glove)
---
Scully:
Darkness covers a multitude of sins.
Mulder:
Check this out. My newest tool in the fight against crime. $49.95 at your
local hardware
store.
Scully:
Neat trick. For your birthday I'll buy you a utility belt.
---
Mulder:
Yeah but half of Richmond earns their paycheck making cancer sticks.
---
Mulder:
Maybe it's not so spontaneous. Get on the phone to your 'young detective'
and tell her to
get
a detail down to the train station.
---
Scully:
Chances are he's not walking around carrying a sign with an arrow on it.
---
Mulder:
Why's he doing that? (Looking at the floor)
Scully:
Probably the same reason he spends his whole afternoon in the train station.
---
Mulder:
Powered by what?
Davey:
Couple billion megawatts. Virginia Power loved us.
---
Scully:
...Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness.
Mulder:
You trying to tell me something?
---
Det.
Beren: Yeah, I was just wondering what your involvement is here.
Mulder:
We caught the guy.
---
Mulder:
...He believes the government is out to get him.
Mr
X: It's tax season. So do most Americans.
---
Mr.
X: Dead men can't keep promises. The next time the blood and regret might
be yours.
---
Our Town 2x17
Scully:
I'm surprised she didn't call Oprah as soon as she got off the phone with
the police.
---
Mulder:
...It gave me nightmares.
Scully: I didn't think anything gave you nightmares.
Mulder:
Well I was young.
---
Mulder:
The state police found his car on the I-10, right in the middle of Dudley,
Arkansas. Home of
Chaco
Chicken.
---
Mulder:
Chickens eat chickens?
Mr
Chaco: Not many people I know as useful as these chickens.
---
Mulder:
Who knows, Scully? This could turn out to be even _more_ interesting than
foxfires.
---
Scully:
I just came up with a sick theory.
Mulder:
Oooo, I'm listening!
---
Mulder:
Well I'd like it dragged as soon as possible.
Sheriff: Why would ya wanna do that?
Mulder:
See what's in there...
---
Scully:
All of them share one strange detail, Mulder.
Mulder:
Well they seem to have lost their heads...
---
Anasazi/Soft
Water 2x17
Soft Water
was the original production title.
Thinker:
You BITCH! Beautiful!
---
Mulder:
I'm not feeling well. I didn't sleep last night. Really not in the mood
for the Three Stooges.
Frohike: I don't think we've been followed.
Mulder:
Who would follow YOU?
---
Langly:
Trained killers. School of the America's alumni.
Mulder:
You boys been defacing library books again?
---
Thinker:
I.. I don't want you to know my real name. I.. I just don't think it's
that important that you
know.
Mulder:
Sounds like a line I used in a bar once.
---
Mulder:
Are you familiar with the 10 Commandments, Scully?
Scully: You want me to recite them?
Mulder:
Just number 4, the one about obeying the Sabbath. The part where God made
heaven and
earth
but didn't bother to tell anybody about his side projects?
---
Scully:
What is this?
Mulder: The Holy Grail...
(funny
but I get the feeling that a Frenchman is screaming at me 'Ah, we've already
got one!')
---
Scully:
Where did you get this?
Mulder:
Your friendly neighborhood anarchist.
---
Scully:
Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder:
Yeah, I just haven't been sleeping.
---
CSM:
As always, we maintain plausible denial. The files are only as real as
their possible
authentication.
---
Mulder:
I came home. Must be running a fever. Maybe it's the threat of being burned
at the stake.
---
Mulder:
So you can clear your conscience and your name? You've been making reports
on me since
the
beginning, Scully, taking your LITTLE NOTES!!!
---
Mulder:
You shot me!
Scully: Yes, I did. You didn't give me much choice. You were about to kill Krycek.
Mulder:
Why'd you shoot ME? HE'S the one...
---
(Putting
LSD in the water)
Scully:
Well it wasn't an exercise in subtlety.
---
Albert:
You're lucky she's a good shot.
Mulder:
Or a bad one...
---
CSM:
You're a hard man to reach.
Mulder: Not hard enough, apparently.
CSM: Where are you?
Mulder: I'm at the Betty Ford Center, where are you?
CSM: I need to talk to you, Mr. Mulder. In person. There are things to explain.
Mulder:
I'll save the government the plane fare. I just need to know which government
that is.
---
Mulder:
No, he couldn't live with it because you had him killed.
---
Mulder:
But these aren't human, Scully. From the look of it I'd say they were alien.
Scully: Are you sure?
Mulder:
I'm pretty damn sure.
---
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