"STARR"
"Bills Ode to Monica" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "Make the Country Happy" Gore and the Clintons Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, I could throw one hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy!" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ " Hey Bill, ya' 'dumb-shit', ya' should'a been a little more discreet." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Submitted by, Jana, Des Moines, Ia. Thanks Jana......... “The Frog & the 9 Iron” A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog says, "Ribbit Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.. "What do you think frog?, " the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful".. The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Letter to the President A Powerful Letter to the President! From a Retired Army Officer 9/30/98 Dear Mr.. President: It's not about sex. If it were about sex, you would be long gone. Just like a doctor, attorney or teacher who had sex with a patient, client or student half his age, you would have violated the ethics of your office and would be long gone. Just like a Sergeant Major of the Army, Gene McKinney, who though found not guilty, was forced to resign amid accusations of sexual abuse. Remember the Air Force General you wouldn't nominate to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff because he freely admitted to an affair almost 15 years before, while he and his wife were separated? Unlike you, he was never accused of having a starry-eyed office assistant my daughter's age perform oral sex on him while he was on the phone and his wife and daughter were upstairs. If it were about sex, you should be subjected to the same horrible hearings that Clarence Thomas was subjected to because of the accusations of Anita Hill. The only accusation then was that he talked dirty to her; He didn't even leave semen stains on her dress. No, it's not about sex. It's about character. Its about lying. It's about arrogance. It's about abuse of power. It's about dodging the draft and lying about it. When caught in a lie by letters you wrote, you concocted a story that nobody believed. But we excused it and looked away. It's about smoking dope, and lying about it. "I didn't inhale," you said. Sure, and when I was 15 and my buddies and I swiped a beer from an unwatched refrigerator, we drank from it, but we didn't swallow. "I broke no laws of the United States," you said. That's right, you smoked dope in England or Norway or Moscow; where you were demonstrating against the U.S.A. You lied, but we excused it and looked away. It's about selling overnight stays in the White House to any foreigner or other contributor with untraceable cash. It's about Whitewater and Jim and Susan McDougal and Arkansas, Gov. Jim Guy Tucker and Vincent Foster and Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones and Karen Willey and nearly countless others. It's about stealing the records from Foster's office while his body was still warm and putting them in your bedroom and "not noticing them" for two years. It's about illegal political contributions. It's about you and Al Gore soliciting contributions and selling influence at Buddhist temples and in the same Oval Office where Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt led their countries through the dark days of wars That threatened the very existence of our nation. But we excused you and looked away. It's about hiding evidence from Ken Starr, refusing to testify, filing legal motions, coaching witnesses, obstructing justice and delaying Judge Starr's inquiry for months and years, and then complaining that it has gone on too long. The polls agreed. Thank goodness that Judge Starr didn't read the polls, play politics or excuse you and look away. He held on to the evidence like a tenacious bulldog. Your supporters say that you've confessed your wrong doings and asked for our forgiveness. Listen to me!, what you said on TV the night you testified to the grand jury was not a confession. Confession in the face of overwhelming evidence is not a confession at all. Not that it would make a lot of difference. A murderer who contritely confesses his crime is still a murderer. When your "confession" didn't sell, even to your friends, you became more forthcoming. Maybe someday you'll confess more, but probably not. You've established such a pattern of lying that we can't believe you anymore. Neither can your cabinet, the Congress or any of the leaders of the nations of the world. When a leader's actions defame and emasculate our country as profoundly as yours have, it is no longer a personal matter, as you claim. It's no longer a matter among you, your family and your God. By the way, I don't believe for a minute that Hillary was unaware of your sexual misadventures, abuses of power and pattern of lying. She has been a party to your wrong doings since Whitewater and Jennifer Flowers just as surely as she lied about the Rose law firm's billings and hid the Vincent Foster evidence in your bedroom for two years. Why? So she could share in the raw power that your Office carries. The two of you probably lied to Chelsea, but that is a matter among you, your family and your God. Remember the sign over James Carvill's desk during the l992 campaign? It said, "It's the economy, stupid!" Place this sign over your desk: "It's about character, stupid!" No, it's not about sex, Mr. President. If it were, you would be long gone. It's about character; but we have to live with your filth, lies and arrogance for a while longer. Your lies, morality and lack of character have been as pervasive as they have been despicable, so we have no reason to believe that you will quietly resign and go away. You'll count on half truths and spin doctors to see you through, the country be damned. It has always worked before. We excused you and looked the other way. No more, we've had enough. You betrayed us enough. You have made every elected official, minister, teacher, diplomat, parent and grandparent in the country apologize for you and explain away your actions. Now go away, and let us show them that our country was not without morals. It was just that you were. Let us show them that America was not the problem. William Jefferson Clinton was. Go away, Mr. President. Leave us alone. And when you leave, know that your legacy to the United States of America will be a stain on the Office of the President that is as filthy as the stain on Monica Lewinsky’s dress. It will take a lot of scrubbing to make it clean again. From a Retired Army Officer, who served as Public Affairs officer at Fort Rucker from 1989 to 1991 and now lives in Ozark, Alabama. Suggestion: Send this to Your whole e-mail list and just maybe, We can change those polls that refuse to lower Slick Willie's approval ratings. FYI. IT'S STILL OUR COUNTRY @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "New Nose" "New Intern" "From 'B' to Clinton" "Not Mine" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Clinton’s favorite instrument What is clinton’s other favorite instrument to play besides the saxophone? His Whore Monica. ha ha ha ha @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Mr. John Hinckley St. Elizabeth's Hospital Washington D.C. Dear John, Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man. Best wishes, Bill Clinton P.S. Ken Starr is screwing Jodie Foster. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ During his visit to the United States the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family. A few minutes later the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, discouraged and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure. Incredulous, one reporter asked, "But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed". Exasperated, the Pope answered, "Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Chelsea Clinton Looking For Love One Sunday morning, Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, "Mom & Dad, I have some great news for you. I am getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington! He lives in Georgetown and his name is Matt." After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. "Honey, I have to talk with you. Your Mother and I have been married a long time. She's a wonderful wife but she's never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I have fooled around with other women a lot. Matt is actually your half-brother, and I'm afraid you can't marry him." Chelsea was heartbroken, but after eight months she eventually started dating again. A year later she came home and very proudly announced, "Robert asked me to marry him! We're getting married in June." Again, her father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Robert is your half-brother too, Honey. I'm awfully sorry about this." Chelsea became furious upon hearing what her Dad had to say. She decided to go to her Mother and tell her about his numerous infidelities. After Chelsea told her Mom everything, she concluded crying, "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married. Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the guy is my half-brother." Hillary just shook her head and replied, "Don't pay any attention to what he says dear. He's not really your father." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "Clinton Jokes" Page Two.... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Submit your jokes to Webmaster Return to Cover Page
Gore and the Clintons
Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, I could throw one hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy!"
" Hey Bill, ya' 'dumb-shit', ya' should'a been a little more discreet."
Submitted by, Jana, Des Moines, Ia. Thanks Jana.........
“The Frog & the 9 Iron”
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog says, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.. "What do you think frog?, " the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.
By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful"..
The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Letter to the President A Powerful Letter to the President! From a Retired Army Officer 9/30/98 Dear Mr.. President: It's not about sex. If it were about sex, you would be long gone. Just like a doctor, attorney or teacher who had sex with a patient, client or student half his age, you would have violated the ethics of your office and would be long gone. Just like a Sergeant Major of the Army, Gene McKinney, who though found not guilty, was forced to resign amid accusations of sexual abuse. Remember the Air Force General you wouldn't nominate to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff because he freely admitted to an affair almost 15 years before, while he and his wife were separated? Unlike you, he was never accused of having a starry-eyed office assistant my daughter's age perform oral sex on him while he was on the phone and his wife and daughter were upstairs. If it were about sex, you should be subjected to the same horrible hearings that Clarence Thomas was subjected to because of the accusations of Anita Hill. The only accusation then was that he talked dirty to her; He didn't even leave semen stains on her dress. No, it's not about sex. It's about character. Its about lying. It's about arrogance. It's about abuse of power. It's about dodging the draft and lying about it. When caught in a lie by letters you wrote, you concocted a story that nobody believed. But we excused it and looked away. It's about smoking dope, and lying about it. "I didn't inhale," you said. Sure, and when I was 15 and my buddies and I swiped a beer from an unwatched refrigerator, we drank from it, but we didn't swallow. "I broke no laws of the United States," you said. That's right, you smoked dope in England or Norway or Moscow; where you were demonstrating against the U.S.A. You lied, but we excused it and looked away. It's about selling overnight stays in the White House to any foreigner or other contributor with untraceable cash. It's about Whitewater and Jim and Susan McDougal and Arkansas, Gov. Jim Guy Tucker and Vincent Foster and Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones and Karen Willey and nearly countless others. It's about stealing the records from Foster's office while his body was still warm and putting them in your bedroom and "not noticing them" for two years. It's about illegal political contributions. It's about you and Al Gore soliciting contributions and selling influence at Buddhist temples and in the same Oval Office where Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt led their countries through the dark days of wars That threatened the very existence of our nation. But we excused you and looked away. It's about hiding evidence from Ken Starr, refusing to testify, filing legal motions, coaching witnesses, obstructing justice and delaying Judge Starr's inquiry for months and years, and then complaining that it has gone on too long. The polls agreed. Thank goodness that Judge Starr didn't read the polls, play politics or excuse you and look away. He held on to the evidence like a tenacious bulldog. Your supporters say that you've confessed your wrong doings and asked for our forgiveness. Listen to me!, what you said on TV the night you testified to the grand jury was not a confession. Confession in the face of overwhelming evidence is not a confession at all. Not that it would make a lot of difference. A murderer who contritely confesses his crime is still a murderer. When your "confession" didn't sell, even to your friends, you became more forthcoming. Maybe someday you'll confess more, but probably not. You've established such a pattern of lying that we can't believe you anymore. Neither can your cabinet, the Congress or any of the leaders of the nations of the world. When a leader's actions defame and emasculate our country as profoundly as yours have, it is no longer a personal matter, as you claim. It's no longer a matter among you, your family and your God. By the way, I don't believe for a minute that Hillary was unaware of your sexual misadventures, abuses of power and pattern of lying. She has been a party to your wrong doings since Whitewater and Jennifer Flowers just as surely as she lied about the Rose law firm's billings and hid the Vincent Foster evidence in your bedroom for two years. Why? So she could share in the raw power that your Office carries. The two of you probably lied to Chelsea, but that is a matter among you, your family and your God. Remember the sign over James Carvill's desk during the l992 campaign? It said, "It's the economy, stupid!" Place this sign over your desk: "It's about character, stupid!" No, it's not about sex, Mr. President. If it were, you would be long gone. It's about character; but we have to live with your filth, lies and arrogance for a while longer. Your lies, morality and lack of character have been as pervasive as they have been despicable, so we have no reason to believe that you will quietly resign and go away. You'll count on half truths and spin doctors to see you through, the country be damned. It has always worked before. We excused you and looked the other way. No more, we've had enough. You betrayed us enough. You have made every elected official, minister, teacher, diplomat, parent and grandparent in the country apologize for you and explain away your actions. Now go away, and let us show them that our country was not without morals. It was just that you were. Let us show them that America was not the problem. William Jefferson Clinton was. Go away, Mr. President. Leave us alone. And when you leave, know that your legacy to the United States of America will be a stain on the Office of the President that is as filthy as the stain on Monica Lewinsky’s dress. It will take a lot of scrubbing to make it clean again. From a Retired Army Officer, who served as Public Affairs officer at Fort Rucker from 1989 to 1991 and now lives in Ozark, Alabama. Suggestion: Send this to Your whole e-mail list and just maybe, We can change those polls that refuse to lower Slick Willie's approval ratings. FYI. IT'S STILL OUR COUNTRY @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "New Nose" "New Intern" "From 'B' to Clinton" "Not Mine" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Clinton’s favorite instrument What is clinton’s other favorite instrument to play besides the saxophone? His Whore Monica. ha ha ha ha @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Mr. John Hinckley St. Elizabeth's Hospital Washington D.C. Dear John, Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man. Best wishes, Bill Clinton P.S. Ken Starr is screwing Jodie Foster. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ During his visit to the United States the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family. A few minutes later the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, discouraged and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure. Incredulous, one reporter asked, "But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed". Exasperated, the Pope answered, "Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Chelsea Clinton Looking For Love One Sunday morning, Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, "Mom & Dad, I have some great news for you. I am getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington! He lives in Georgetown and his name is Matt." After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. "Honey, I have to talk with you. Your Mother and I have been married a long time. She's a wonderful wife but she's never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I have fooled around with other women a lot. Matt is actually your half-brother, and I'm afraid you can't marry him." Chelsea was heartbroken, but after eight months she eventually started dating again. A year later she came home and very proudly announced, "Robert asked me to marry him! We're getting married in June." Again, her father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Robert is your half-brother too, Honey. I'm awfully sorry about this." Chelsea became furious upon hearing what her Dad had to say. She decided to go to her Mother and tell her about his numerous infidelities. After Chelsea told her Mom everything, she concluded crying, "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married. Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the guy is my half-brother." Hillary just shook her head and replied, "Don't pay any attention to what he says dear. He's not really your father." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "Clinton Jokes" Page Two.... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Submit your jokes to Webmaster Return to Cover Page
Letter to the President
A Powerful Letter to the President! From a Retired Army Officer 9/30/98
Dear Mr.. President:
It's not about sex. If it were about sex, you would be long gone. Just like a doctor, attorney or teacher who had sex with a patient, client or student half his age, you would have violated the ethics of your office and would be long gone. Just like a Sergeant Major of the Army, Gene McKinney, who though found not guilty, was forced to resign amid accusations of sexual abuse. Remember the Air Force General you wouldn't nominate to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff because he freely admitted to an affair almost 15 years before, while he and his wife were separated? Unlike you, he was never accused of having a starry-eyed office assistant my daughter's age perform oral sex on him while he was on the phone and his wife and daughter were upstairs.
If it were about sex, you should be subjected to the same horrible hearings that Clarence Thomas was subjected to because of the accusations of Anita Hill. The only accusation then was that he talked dirty to her; He didn't even leave semen stains on her dress.
No, it's not about sex. It's about character. Its about lying. It's about arrogance. It's about abuse of power. It's about dodging the draft and lying about it. When caught in a lie by letters you wrote, you concocted a story that nobody believed. But we excused it and looked away.
It's about smoking dope, and lying about it. "I didn't inhale," you said. Sure, and when I was 15 and my buddies and I swiped a beer from an unwatched refrigerator, we drank from it, but we didn't swallow. "I broke no laws of the United States," you said. That's right, you smoked dope in England or Norway or Moscow; where you were demonstrating against the U.S.A. You lied, but we excused it and looked away.
It's about selling overnight stays in the White House to any foreigner or other contributor with untraceable cash. It's about Whitewater and Jim and Susan McDougal and Arkansas, Gov. Jim Guy Tucker and Vincent Foster and Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones and Karen Willey and nearly countless others. It's about stealing the records from Foster's office while his body was still warm and putting them in your bedroom and "not noticing them" for two years. It's about illegal political contributions. It's about you and Al Gore soliciting contributions and selling influence at Buddhist temples and in the same Oval Office where Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt led their countries through the dark days of wars That threatened the very existence of our nation. But we excused you and looked away.
It's about hiding evidence from Ken Starr, refusing to testify, filing legal motions, coaching witnesses, obstructing justice and delaying Judge Starr's inquiry for months and years, and then complaining that it has gone on too long. The polls agreed. Thank goodness that Judge Starr didn't read the polls, play politics or excuse you and look away. He held on to the evidence like a tenacious bulldog. Your supporters say that you've confessed your wrong doings and asked for our forgiveness. Listen to me!, what you said on TV the night you testified to the grand jury was not a confession. Confession in the face of overwhelming evidence is not a confession at all. Not that it would make a lot of difference. A murderer who contritely confesses his crime is still a murderer. When your "confession" didn't sell, even to your friends, you became more forthcoming. Maybe someday you'll confess more, but probably not. You've established such a pattern of lying that we can't believe you anymore. Neither can your cabinet, the Congress or any of the leaders of the nations of the world. When a leader's actions defame and emasculate our country as profoundly as yours have, it is no longer a personal matter, as you claim. It's no longer a matter among you, your family and your God. By the way, I don't believe for a minute that Hillary was unaware of your sexual misadventures, abuses of power and pattern of lying. She has been a party to your wrong doings since Whitewater and Jennifer Flowers just as surely as she lied about the Rose law firm's billings and hid the Vincent Foster evidence in your bedroom for two years. Why? So she could share in the raw power that your Office carries. The two of you probably lied to Chelsea, but that is a matter among you, your family and your God.
Remember the sign over James Carvill's desk during the l992 campaign? It said, "It's the economy, stupid!" Place this sign over your desk: "It's about character, stupid!" No, it's not about sex, Mr. President. If it were, you would be long gone. It's about character; but we have to live with your filth, lies and arrogance for a while longer. Your lies, morality and lack of character have been as pervasive as they have been despicable, so we have no reason to believe that you will quietly resign and go away. You'll count on half truths and spin doctors to see you through, the country be damned. It has always worked before. We excused you and looked the other way.
No more, we've had enough. You betrayed us enough. You have made every elected official, minister, teacher, diplomat, parent and grandparent in the country apologize for you and explain away your actions. Now go away, and let us show them that our country was not without morals. It was just that you were. Let us show them that America was not the problem. William Jefferson Clinton was. Go away, Mr. President. Leave us alone. And when you leave, know that your legacy to the United States of America will be a stain on the Office of the President that is as filthy as the stain on Monica Lewinsky’s dress. It will take a lot of scrubbing to make it clean again.
From a Retired Army Officer, who served as Public Affairs officer at Fort Rucker from 1989 to 1991 and now lives in Ozark, Alabama.
Suggestion: Send this to Your whole e-mail list and just maybe, We can change those polls that refuse to lower Slick Willie's approval ratings. FYI. IT'S STILL OUR COUNTRY
What is clinton’s other favorite instrument to play besides the saxophone?
His Whore Monica.
Mr. John Hinckley St. Elizabeth's Hospital Washington D.C.
Dear John,
Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land.
Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.
Best wishes, Bill Clinton
P.S. Ken Starr is screwing Jodie Foster.
During his visit to the United States the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family.
A few minutes later the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, discouraged and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure.
Incredulous, one reporter asked, "But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed". Exasperated, the Pope answered, "Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments."
Chelsea Clinton Looking For Love
One Sunday morning, Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, "Mom & Dad, I have some great news for you. I am getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington! He lives in Georgetown and his name is Matt."
After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. "Honey, I have to talk with you. Your Mother and I have been married a long time. She's a wonderful wife but she's never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I have fooled around with other women a lot. Matt is actually your half-brother, and I'm afraid you can't marry him." Chelsea was heartbroken, but after eight months she eventually started dating again.
A year later she came home and very proudly announced, "Robert asked me to marry him! We're getting married in June." Again, her father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Robert is your half-brother too, Honey. I'm awfully sorry about this." Chelsea became furious upon hearing what her Dad had to say.
She decided to go to her Mother and tell her about his numerous infidelities. After Chelsea told her Mom everything, she concluded crying, "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married. Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the guy is my half-brother."
Hillary just shook her head and replied, "Don't pay any attention to what he says dear. He's not really your father."
Submit your jokes to Webmaster
Return to Cover Page