"Clinton's Second Page"

Subject: “Hillary dies”

From..... jnail :o)

: Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here.

St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one-second.

St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life.
The next clock belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since he only told two lies his whole life, only two seconds had clicked.

Hillary asks, "Where is Bill's clock?"

St. Peter says, "Bill's clock is upstairs. They are using it as a “ceiling fan.”

Bill Clinton was walking around the White House with a pair of ladies panties on his arm.
Everyone was looking at him and wondering what he was up to but didn't want to ask - career limiting move and all that...

After about an hour one young Press Secretary got brave enough to ask him what he was doing with a pair of ladies panties on his arm.

Clinton replied, "It's a patch.... I'm trying to quit."

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

"Hope, Arkansas"
Has a NEW SIGH... :)

These are REAL bumper stickers reportedly seen on cars around the DC area:

HONK! If you had sex with the President

Clinton: We forgive you...Now Resign!

Al Gore: One heartthrob from the Presidency

Adultery is not a family value

Does character matter YET?

One More Whore And We Get Gore Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat

My President Fooled Around with Your Honor Student

Jail to the Chief

Today kids no longer play doctor, they play President

The Clinton Creed: Take Credit Not Responsibility

If his private life doesn't matter, let him date your daughter.

Three terms for Clinton: the third in jail

Clinton: Our Nation's Fondling Father

Save the President: Legalize Perjury

Submitted by, Jackie, Sana Anna, Tx.

Gore's Gems

------------------------------------

And Gore said Quale was an idiot. Check out these gems. . .

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -- Vice President Al Gore

"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." -- Vice President Al Gore

"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts." -- Vice President Al Gore

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." -- Vice President Al Gore

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -- Vice President Al Gore

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Vice President Al Gore

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." -- Vice President Al Gore

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." -- Vice President Al Gore

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." -- Vice President Al Gore

"I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgments in the future." -- Vice President Al Gore

"The future will be better tomorrow." -- Vice President Al Gore

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." -- Vice President Al Gore

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have tremendous impact on history." -- Vice President Al Gore

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." -- Vice President Al Gore

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a 'part' of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a 'part' of Europe." -- Vice President Al Gore

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat ." -- Vice President Al Gore

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." -- Al Gore

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority." -- Vice President Al Gore

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." -- Vice President Al Gore

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Vice President Al Gore

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system." -- Vice President Al Gore

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made." --Vice President Al Gore

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make." --Vice President Al Gore

÷÷ˇ! Now I ask ya’.. how stupid can one person be????!ˇ÷÷

Clinton dies and of course goes straight to hell.
When he gets there the Devil greets him and offers him three ways to spend eternity.
They go to the first door and the Devil shows him Newt Gingrich, hanging from the ceiling with fire under him.
Bill says "Oh no! That's not how I want to spend all eternity......."

They go to the second door.
The Devil shows him Rush Limbaugh chained to the wall being tortured.
Bill says "Oh no! Not for me!"

They go to the third door.
Behind it is Ken Starr, chained to the wall with Monica Lewinsky on her knees giving him a blowjob.
Bill grins great big and pants, "Yeah, yeah, looks great to me. I'll take it."
The Devil then says, "Good, Hey Monica, you've been replaced."

We all know what a Birdie (1 under) and a Bogey (one over) are.
Now there's a Lewinsky.
Its when the shot lands three feet from the hole.

Submit your stories to Webmaster

Return to the Cover Page