One afternoon a blonde woke up from her nap and looked outside.
To her suprise she saw the house next door was on fire.
Being the good neighbor that she was she called 911.
The dispacher asked what her emergency was.
The blonde replied" the house next door is on fire".
The dispacher then siad I'll send a firetruck over, but how do we get there.
The blonde replied proudly.... "Duuuh, in the big red truck!?"
Hey everybody! Says the Dumb Blond......
This has got to be the coolest chain letter I've ever gotten!
All you have to do is send it to 11 people and this little
video comes up on your screen and shows the funniest clip.
I can't tell you what it is but I was laughing so hard!
So spend a few seconds to send this and you'll be glad you did! thanks!
Subject: Blonde Jokes (some are repeats)
1.) What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
2.) Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
3.) Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.
4.) What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
5.) What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds.
6.) Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
7.) Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
8.) How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
9.) Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phones dial pad!
10.) What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
11.) How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.
12.) Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
13.) A brunnette goes to the doctor and as he touches every part of
her body with his fingers she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts,
my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!"
The doctor asks, "Where you ever a Blonde?"
"Yes I was." she replies. "why do you ask?"
The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"
14.) A Blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette
said, "Oh look at the dead bird."
The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where, where?"
15.) A brunnette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to
rail, saying "21" "21" "21"
A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts
jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21"
Suddenly, the brunnette hears a train whistle and jumps off the tracks
just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place. The Brunnette goes back
to jumping from rail to rail , counting "22" "22" "22"
16.) How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
17.) Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
18.) How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear
19.) Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
20.) Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in
their car at the drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for Winter".
21.) Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
22.) A Blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a
coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She
returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine
keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and wtahces
her antics for a few minutes before stopping and asking if someone else could
have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts in her face, "Can't you see I'm winning?!"
23.) Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said, "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
24.) Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of
their Mercedes with a coat hanger, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat
hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxioously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down!
25.) A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband
is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. Then one
day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She
grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed,
begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde
responds to the husband,
"Shut up...you're next!
26.) Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a year to realize she could play it at night
27.) What happenned to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.
28.) What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong
29.) Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
30.) How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Submitted by, Chuck, Tampa, Fl.
Thanks, Chuck
There are three ladies working in the same office. They begin to notice
that each day the boss, who is also a female, leaves work early.
One day they decide that once the boss takes off they are gonna be right behind
her, after all she never comes back or calls so how would she know.
So, they all three leave and the brunette was elated to be able to get in a quick
workout at her spa before meeting her dinner date.
The redhead was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
The blonde was happy, happy, happy, to be home. But when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly, quietly, she cracks open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!
Ever so gently she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again and asked the blonde if she wanted to go with them. "NO WAY!!" The blonde exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday!
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