Growing up, my father's experiences in Vietnam were always a taboo subject. I realized at an early age that the effects of the war were profound and long lasting. Whenever a car backfired, a balloon popped, or a firework exploded my father had an instinctive reaction to drop to the ground.
Being the youngest of three children, my father was more accepting and capable of answering my questions compared to when my brother and sister had asked years earlier. The added time between my older siblings and I had helped him to further recover emotionally. I often watched the History Channel with him and every once in a while there would be a show about Vietnam. I innocently asked general questions to which he would graciously answer. I soon came to realize that if I asked a question he would answer, but he rarely volunteered and additional information.
Nearly thirty years removed from combat, my father discovered the healing power of discussion. Coincidently around the same time, as a sophomore at Marist College, I was given the assignment to write a paper about any historic event or person in United States history. Since my father had recently spoken about Vietnam publicly for the first time at a local hometown college, I saw this as a great opportunity to learn more about him. After first checking with my mother, I hesitantly asked him if I could interview him for my paper. To my surprise, he was more than willing to answer any questions that I had. Shortly after he actually visited my college to be a guest speaker about Vietnam.
The paper I wrote for that history class would soon become the foundation for my online tribute to my father. I got my inspiration to turn my paper into a website from watching the movie Braveheart. The intense feeling of pride that the movie invoked within me inspired me to publish my father's story for others to read. As a multimedia major, I was focusing on my education in web development field. What better medium to share my father's story than on the ever expanding World Wide Web?
In the beginning the site was simplistic and had a url to long to memorize. As my skills as a programmer and designer evolved I continually updated and improved the site. Shortly before graduation I realized that I was about to lose the free web hosting I enjoyed at school. Rather than let the site die, I decided to buy its own domain name and hosting service.
Shortly after I put the site up under its own domain name my father asked me a question that I will never forget. He asked me very plainly; "You know that I have killed people right?" He seemed unsure if I would have the same respect for if I knew that he had. I had always assumed that he had, it was a war after all; but to hear him ask like that really made me realize more clearly the emotional trauma that he has faced every day for the past thirty years. That single question he asked me taught me more about Vietnam than all of the questions I have ever asked him.
My site, www.through-the-eyes.com has been up and running now, in one form or another, for almost four years. The comments and emails I have received from virtual strangers has been overwhelming. Every once in a while he reads the guest book and I'm pretty sure that the support of strangers offers him a piece of mind that he did not receive upon his immediate return home from an unpopular war.
I am very proud of my father, and every other person that has unselfishly served this country. I am often asked how and why I have become so involved in Vietnam Veterans at the young age of 24. To keep a long answer short, my father's nickname in Vietnam was "Pop's" because he was the oldest in his squad at the age of 23! When I think of my father fighting in a war half way around the world at an age younger than I am right now, maintaining a website and donating my time to do a few graphics for fellow Vietnam Veterans is the least I can do!
