....Collected Poems...Halle Linkhauser
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_______________________________________________________ onto something I was branded at age five by my father lit cigarette in the middle of the forehead it was an accident I remember that searing hot white spot pain and I knew I was onto something eleventh grade tucked myself away in the basement inside a red Pinto named Penelope waited until everyone had gone to work or school started with a safety pin ended with a Swiss Army knife superficial cuts they called them I remember the heart pounding head expanding explosion right before the object of my choice broke the skin it would bubble around then give Ahhh and I knew I was onto something BIG the cocaine stole five years of my life my spirit and any chance for some reclaimed innocence bad things happen to redheads after 4:00 A.M. that's for sure and I knew I was onto something HUGE now at twenty-seven nine tattoos mostly drug-related the artist ODed two nipple piercings two labia piercings one tongue bellybutton and nose piercing later this body I've created makes no sense to me at all I got clean removed the nipple labia bellybutton and nose piercings tongue was gone long ago but these fucking tattoos talking all the time and I haven't said a word I fantasize about taking a razor slicing and lifting the first layers of skin affected by the ink but that would be crazy so I scratch jump out of bed in the middle of the night lock myself in the bathroom at work linger around the corner while the others go ahead anytime's a good time scratch until I foam at the mouth break a sweat bleed revisit that searing hot white spot pain all the outlines rise up defending the canvas I guess we'll just have to fight it out what I fucking do for $8.98 an hour the planters outside the store had great expectations massive stone structures used to hold red pansies got a deal from the nursery two doors down so pansies it was but no one watered them and they were dead a week later every morning I eye those fuckers it is my job to clean them two apple cores were left this morning along with some cigarette butts and four wads of green gum I find old receipts half drunk Starbucks coffees with the cream gelatinous and stinky once I found part of a gravestone white marble and some jack off teen wrote R.I.P. on it in marker clever but the worst by far are the shit-filled piss-filled snot-filled smelling-like-the worst-ass-you-ever-smelled rolled up baby diapers sporting pastel dinosaurs on covered-with-crap tape I've found these more than once those goddamn yuppie parents are something else between them and those fucks from Pakistan nobody has any class anymore walleyed stella that wacky british bitch has done it again since her arrival she has managed to electrocute herself three times the first time while attempting to change a halogen track light above the office desk knocked her right on her ass office remains half lit something's wrong with the light she said we'll just have to do without second time a lamp blew up in her fucking hands fucking exploded something's wrong with the lamp she said threw it in the garbage left me to deal with the acrid smoke curling mocking me while I worked a rat-like fantasy finally the christmas tree got her real good lights wouldn't cooperate I thought third time's a charm but the bitch walked away we'll have to get a shod of it she said some british phrase meaning we'll have to throw the damn tree out the shocks nearly drove her walleyes to the sides of her head unable to focus on anything at all she went home and I gleefully dragged that christmas shit to the dumpster where it belonged in the first place a weekend in the mountains with the crackheads and the KKK well so the niggers hit the springs in their sharkskin suits with their aint-smoked-crack-in-three-years strut and their big women with their ropey hair talkin bout cooks chicken just like mama and hasn't sucked no nigga's dick for no five dollar rock in two months now while the Mill Billy Run boys polish their guns on their plaid flannels spitting out teeth grinning through gaps talkin bout coon season came one day early this year boys let's go get us a live one morning meditation I was hobbling along this morning thinking about what a miserable cunt I've become without my daily running fix when two hard-breathing fluorescent-wearing dog-faced Mt. Lebanon yuppie bitches jogged past the one said "she's a fat hog... I feel sorry for her" the other hag cackled and then they were gone I thought probably that fat hog's house was bigger than those two fucks put together and obviously it wasn't any better on the other side quit your eyeballin' daddy-o those milky swimming in disease fish eyes searched my face stared me down from across the table you said you don't know what some women are capable of what pressures they put on you it's no excuse I said daggered you back my shark eyes really laying it on only pussy fucks make excuses like this pathetic like if this is an apology you can stick it right up your shit ass hunky August 21, 1998 at 10:00 P.M. matt he's just fucked corn-holed with bombcocks sent by Bin Laden skinny islamic terrorist fuck you better pray they don't find pieces blown apart head the head that housed the damaged brain we shared you gave us your big destructive gift little cunt lulu the day that little cunt Lulu bit my face everything changed for good right front incisor caught the corner of my left eye slid down and settled on the nostril I thought this is it my face is ground meat I'm fucked nothing tore there was some bruising and eyestrain due to the extreme tooth-in-my-eye convergency that inbred size of a large rodent bark at her own shadow stinky white devil dog started me thinking how many horrible limb-ripping children screaming car wrecks am I hurtling towards how many creepos wanting to slice open my belly and eat my kidneys spleen intestines am I destined to find myself alone with how many times will I find myself backing off the Grand Canyon trying to get a lousy stinking picture cause there's no guarantees no stopping the train what it's got for you it's got we are all walking the razor's edge with the enemy close behind us gaining ground in just a fraction of a second that little bitch had my face in her jaws grinned through tight teeth she did she did and I was finished On To Page 2 ..............Return To Other Poets This site sponsered by 
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