03-28-00 Tuesday


First of all, this is going to be as short as I can possibly make it. I have a splitting headache. Today's plans consisted of a talk that I promised myself I would have with Dan. That never happened. I guess that makes me a liar. I DO break promises. (but only the ones I make to myself) He was there. I was there. I just...didn't talk. I think the day was confusing enough for me. The English Festival. My first time attending...It wasn't so bad. I enjoyed myself. It was the little poetry thing. We had a workshop. and Gundy (the head poetry guy) passed out booklets of some of the poetry submitted for the contest. He had a few of the authors read their work. Including me...then he opened it up for discussion. Now, you have to understand, I don't share my poetry with many people. This was the first time I'd done something like this. They talked about my poem. MY poem...and that's what made me uncomfortable. I write for ME. and they were talking about what they thought it meant. I just...it struck me as funny. Gundy chose Invisible Beauty and no one really got it. Everyone seemed to like it though. (Something about my word choice.) Gundy had a few things to say about the ending structure. (I don't agree with what he said though) As long as my poetry pleases me then I honestly don't care what anyone else thinks. Anyhow, I REALLY wanted to place in the contest. When they announced the "winners"...it was just strange. He didn't pick 1st 2nd or 3rd. He gave out five honorable mentions and three 1st place winners. I thought that was a weird way of doing it, but different folks different strokes. I got an honorable mention. (I wasn't too happy with that at first) It was my first time there, and I don't have another chance to go, so it was a disappointment. Then I thought about it. He said there were quite a few poems entered. and I was one of the top eight. So, I guess that's reason enough to be proud of myself. I suppose. It's not like I want to be a poet or anything. It's not my choice career. No need to be greedy.

~Grease is the word~

I seem to be setting my hopes a bit too high lately. I keep letting myself down. I checked my Email today. No message from Mike. I wanted to hear from him. and just to clear things up...(for my cousin who seems to think I'm after him) That was not my intention. I said that I think he's good looking. That doesn't mean much these days y'all! (laugh) When I saw Mike, I thought, "Hey, there's someone that I could have an awesome conversation with." I've been lacking in a good-conversation-partner. When I look at him, I see...Mr. deep intellectual boy...Mr. dark introverted boy...I mean, I have friends who I can talk to. But it's different. With the girls, we talk about girlie things. Like gossipy things. shopping...boy trouble...you get the point. I don't have someone who challenges me to think. (not that I don't think. sometimes I think too much) but someone who makes me think about things that I wouldn't have otherwise. and Michael seemed like that type of person to me. But...(that's a big BUT) I guess...he's not interested.

~Grease Lightning GO Grease Lightning~

Todays fortune cookie says, "There will be someone sharing your warmth." (lucky numbers: 22,24,30,33,41,42) I'd like to know who that someone is. Because I don't just share my warmth with anyone. *grin* and you DO know...you're supposed to add "in bed" to the end of every fortune... (hahaha) I think I'll leave that one WIDE open.

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