Leeloo of course made me really happy by coming over to cuddle, sprawling across my tummy and falling asleep, purring full-tilt. I don't know when it happened, but I was zonked on the couch with the cat until Forest got home after 11.
Speaking of whom, things are really going well with Forest and I. I find I have less and less desire to date other people, and more and more interest in him. I guess that's only natural for me. I have always been the kind of girl who homes in on one person. It's somewhat frustrating, because I have been making an effort to slow things down and cool things off, because all of my friends and family were so worried I would rush foolishly into a new relationship. Now it's been a month and a half, and I can see myself wanting to get much more involved. While they remain unvoiced, my feelings are way ahead of my logic. For that matter, a gal needs a man on occasion for more than affection and zippy conversation...
But damnit, if Mother Theresa can do it, so can I. I'm persevering.
I also feel some guilt about starting a new relationship so soon after leaving Jeff. How long should I wait? I start justifying it to myself by saying that "I didn't feel like I *had* a relationship with Jeff for quite some time, so of course the breakup date is irrelevant." I know, I know, it's just my justifying things, and wanting to be free to move on.
A lot of this is that I'm trying to hold back on the relationship so that I can try to live up to Jeff's expectations of me as a friend. At least, I was really hoping that someday Jeff would get over whatever is going on in his head, and be my friend again. I haven't had any word from him in a couple of weeks, which I may take as either his respecting my boundaries, being really busy since his show goes up this weekend, or deciding he hates me and wanting nothing to do with me.
I'd really like to arrange for our kids to play together, but I will wait until he makes the first move. I know how busy and fried he must be right now, with his show opening tonight, and since I don't know why he hasn't been in contact I don't want to be a hypocrite by rushing him to do something hurtful.
Of course, he will have no idea that I'm dragging things out and taking things slow out of consideration for him, so it's probably irrelevant that I care at all.
I think I have found a bunch of folks to game with. Looks like we're going to meet every other Saturday night at my house. I'm not sure yet what game system we're doing, maybe Changeling, maybe Mage. I'll miss my old friends, but it's good to get a life.
