One thing that I learned from my music theory teacher when I was a kid was a traditional idea of stress and resolution. At the end of pretty much every song I can think of, there is a stress/resolution phrase. It's like in a hymn, how the chords for "Amen" at the end sound. The second to last chord in the phrase is a 7th or 2nd or some other interval away from the tonic (err, the key the music is written in). That chord sits in people's ears and bugs them. If songs ended on such a chord music would probably be dead, because no one could stand to listen; it leaves things in the air too much.
The last chord of the piece, though, rides to the rescue. It's the tonic chord; it's like sliding into home base. The stress of the previous chord is released, and all sorts of happy fulfillment follows. It's the resolution of the piece.
I like books with conflict and resolution, too.
In life, however, I think there are stresses which just will not ever be resolved. I'm never going to be able to get away from finances. Forest will likely always have athsma, and Kirstin will likely always have hay fever. I'm always going to have to feed myself and try to keep track of my stupid keys, and get enough sleep.
I know that this seems like it should be obvious to me; but it wasn't. I always assumed that all conflicts, all stresses in life, would eventually be resolved. In fact, they are resolved, but only in death. Fascinatingly morbid, isn't it? That life should echo music and a good book?
Forest and I talked yesterday and shared our laughing realization that we didn't know how to handle stress as a couple. Alone each of us is pretty good about it. Together, though, we just learned that our methods for dealing with stress directly conflict with each other. When he's stressed, he needs time alone. When I'm stressed, I need to be together. We both realize that we're going to have to learn to adapt, so that when we as a pair are influenced by the same crisis at the same time, we can still deal with it and meet both our needs. Next time we're freaking out, we're going to talk about it, and make an actual stress release plan. I know, it sounds odd, but I think it will work, and we'll both be better off than we were the last time. Let's hope this works!
Last night was a very hot night to do taekwondo. Forest really needed the night off, so much to my relief he was home with Kirstin while I was sweating my little fanny off. (Literally. I need to lose a little weight.) Master Kim was in a great mood, and demonstrated kicks and handstrikes for us himself. It's been a long time since I saw him feeling so well! It was pretty cool. I still feel that I'm under scrutiny, and Master Ron was there last night watching me, too. Happily, though, it went well. I had a good night. I got so well stretched out and warmed up that I could do the splits, right, left and straddle. I've never been able to do straddle splits before in my life. I thought I had a nice sidekick last night, too. If I can do that in competition on Saturday I should be fine!
I got home to a very smily Forest, who was taking a bath with a book as always. We actually stayed up and did taekwondo together until bedtime, which is fairly rare. He helped me out with my form! I appreciate that so much. He worked out his left roundkick, we chatted, smiled, and talked technique with each other until I was about too tired to stand, in truth.
We tumbled into bed, and I was in the mood to babble. Forest held me closely, and listened for a while, then sssshhhhhhhed me gently to sleep. Aww.
It was a long night, though. His athsma kicked his ass, and kept him waking up all night, and I had the same problem with what I suspect are seasonal allergies. There was apparently a pretty major weather shift, and we were silly enough to try to sleep through it. *sigh*
Forest's dad is doing okay, and has been told to cut the stress, get some exercise, and improve his diet. (I know, real suprise.) Forest is still a little worried, but he thinks that his dad's reforming diet will improve his diet, too, which will be a good thing. We actually discussed healthy eating last night, and I was able to put a good word in edgewise for fruits and vegetables every day; other than french fries. True to plan, we had good cereal for breakfast, and salads and fruit for lunch. I'll cross my fingers about dinner, though, since Forest is stuck at the Store without his dad, and there's nothing for me to eat at home. Fast food beckons.
I'm glad the show is ending. That will help with the healthy eating, too. I can't eat fast food every night anymore and have it not affect my body, and neither can Forest. We both could when we were teens. Aging sucks.
The show closing will also give me more time to exercise. I've been heartily missing my extra taekwondo practices, but just haven't had time for them. It's been at least a month since I've done Yoga, or swum any serious laps. I miss all these things. I'm not the kind of person who is designed to sit still.
I also miss having time to go to the grocery store and buy us good food. Right now all we have at home is cereal, milk, and bread, because Forest picked that up for us in a fit of desperation. Our cats have more food at home than we do, and last night our fridge was frozen because it hadn't been opened in so many days. Aren't we pathetic?
Apathetic is more like it. I get home from rehearsal late, and I don't feel like doing any of this stuff. I spend 20 minutes playing Tetris and then go to bed, for heaven's sake. Or I shuffle the laundry from the washer to the dryer, and pile the clean stuff up in the bedroom. Mostly, though, I'm so desperate to see my sweety that I grab onto him and don't let go until I'm asleep. This has really been an awful time for me, as far as that goes. Last week was tech week, so while we tried to cram time with each other in there, it was pretty late at night and we couldn't really do anything. This week isn't any better; Monday night he was with his dad, Tuesday I was at class, tonight I have brush up, Thursday he has Judo until 10:30, and Friday I have show. It pretty much sucks. Today I am making sure I see him, by visiting him at lunch, stopping there for 5 minutes on the way to rehearsal, then crossing paths with him on my way to gaming after rehearsal.
Thankfully, we will be able to be together for quite a bit this weekend. Saturday is the tournament in Kalamazoo, where Forest and I and a couple of close friends will be competing. I'm planning to bring my camera this time, and will try to post some photos of my sweety and I in action. Well, sort of. I won't be sparring, just doing poomses. Forest will be kicking people, though!
Sunday we're planning on getting in our trip to the Renaissance Festival, bright and early, so we can get in the door this time. I'm really looking forward to that. We have the whole day, and won't have to rush back for anything. We can take a nap under a tree if we choose to, who knows!
Ah, yes. If I can make it through the next few days, I'm home free.
Speaking of home, that's all I want to do today. I want to go to my house, curl up with my book, and read for hours. I want to sit on my couch and drink hot tea and watch the cats play. I want to snuggle into my bed and take a nap for a couple of days. I wouldn't even mind having some time to put away the mountain of clean laundry in our bedroom. There are just always such exciting things going on, that I rush right out and sign myself up without a thought, or fill a weekend with activities a month in advance.
But I can't be complaining, because when I *do* have a whole weekend with nothing to do, I get depressed and freaky about it. I really need to find a balance there.
