Wow. Yesterday apparently I was a little on the tired side. I went through the whole day thinking that it was August 29. In fact, today is August 29. I'm going to leave the incorrect date on yesterday's entry, since I think it's demonstrative of my state of mind. By the time I got home last night I was a cranky, tired wreck, and all my body wanted was sleep, while my mind wanted some sort of diversion. It was awful. I didn't even feel like snuggling Forest because I knew I'd fall right to sleep.
Which is what I should have done in the first place.
I haven't stayed up despite myself in a long time. I remember when I was a kid I'd be all wound up at bedtime, but my mom would make me go to bed anyway, and of course I'd konk out before my head hit the pillow. Since I've been a grownup I usually know when I need sleep. Not last night, obviously.
Today I did a brave thing that may rock my little world a bit. I sent in a resume to MSU. It's my policy to keep one on file there all the time, because if you work full time for MSU you get a tuition waiver. That's right, I could finish my degree FREE of charge. I'd like that a lot. Since I've worked at MPHI, though, I haven't been keeping up with it, and have been out of their placement system for about a year now. Last night at rehearsal I updated my resume, though, and today I dropped it off. I have brief nigglings of excitement that they just might call me this time. I have things on my resume like "MS SQL" now, and "Network Design" and "MS Exchange". All sorts of punch-words and key phrases.
See, MSU hires everyone based on computerized match-ups. In order for your resume to get forwarded for an interview, they scan it in to a big database, which they then keyword search against. If they happen to hit your resume with a keyword, they will pull your file and send it to the hiring department for consideration.
In the past I have gotten NOWHERE with this process. At the time I applied to work at MPHI I applied to work at MSU, too; more specifically, I applied to get back into a job I had years before, doing technical work at the MRI facility at the Clinical Center. I had great reviews, a perfect attendance record, and I had worked there for four years straight. According to the computer database search, though, I didn't even qualify for an interview.
But I should have a little faith in technology, right? (Never mind that the only people I know at MSU who have ever been actually hired worked there through a temp service first, and then were hired to full time.)
In the meantime, I am enjoying the year-end at MPHI. Our fiscal year ends on September 29, which means that we're twice as busy in August and September as we are any other time. There are year-end reports to write, bonus criteria to be met, budgets to spend out and tasks to complete. It's a fun, fast-paced time of year. I just got done writing specifications for a new computer for myself. It's going to be at least Pentium III 733 MHZ, with a 20 GB hard drive (though I keep most things on a network drive), a CDRW drive and regular CD drive, and about 512 MB of RAM. It sounds like a nice machine. My current one is a Pentium II 350, with 128 MB RAM, which unfortunately a bury every time I run Front Page, MSIE, and Adobe Illustrator at the same time; or MS Visio alone. It's amazing how fast I can bring my computer to its knees.
Tonight is my first night back at taekwondo in a long time, and my first practice as a brown belt. Master Kim is likely to be brutal, because he always likes to test us after a long break to see whether we've been practicing and keeping in shape. No one has ever been keeping in good enough shape for one of Master Kim's "welcome back" workouts. Still, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, and to getting back on track physically. I can't believe the effect that a few weeks off from taekwondo and terrible eating are having on my body! I don't like being soft in places I shouldn't be, and stiff everywhere else.
Forest manages to retain his flexibility somehow. I don't know how he does it, because it's not like he ritually stretches or anything. I, on the other hand, was almost able to do the splits just a few weeks ago, and now I've lost a good couple inches off that. *sigh*
We had cake today for my boss's birthday, and I realized that I've been working here for almost two years now. It doesn't seem like it's been that long to me, but there you have it. It made me think about what other things I could have done in the past two years. I could have been in the Army; the orderliness of that still somewhat appeals to me, but I think I'm glad I didn't do it. I could have buckled down and moved back in with my mom so I could afford to finish college. That idea still doesn't appeal to me, although the idea of being able to just go to school and not work full time makes it somewhat attractive.
All in all, I think I'm doing okay. This job has gotten me lots of information on how the corporate world and government work. I've got a house and a van and a Forest who loves me; and I've been gaining skills that might be valuable to someone some day.
This is what I tell myself when I feel like I'm not going anywhere in life. Patience. Small steps. I'll build on what I've got right now, and things will happen.
