I can do this. I really can. Yesterday at 5:30 I got a call from the new mortgage guy who had approved my new loan *already*, and was calling with the estimated monthly payment, which including taxes, insurance and all the losses from this last mortgage fiasco, is still reasonably payable. Forest and I are pretty happy about it.
Forest is pretty cool to have around in situtations like this. Money doesn't rattle him. He just shrugs his shoulders, and says things like "don't worry, we'll be okay" as though it's certain to him. He has confidence in our ability to make things happen.
Well, darn it, I think I'm going to try to learn some of that. (I can hear Maria in Sound of Music blaring in the back of my head.)
So it looks as though we will never have to make one of the godawfully high payments, and we'll be at a 9 percent interest rate, which is a good thing. The only downside of this is that I started out in July owing $72,000 on my house, and ended up owing $78,000. That's $6,000, which was my entire down payment a year ago. Gone. Poof. Ahh, well. At least the house is still worth more than I owe on it. That's something, right?
Life lesson. Never buy a house when you PLAN to refinance in a year. Refinancing is expensive, and real estate agents who tell you you won't have any closing costs are LYING THROUGH THEIR TEETH.
Lesson number two: Never trust anyone who makes their living in real estate, even if you've known them for years.
I feel wiser. I feel older, and I feel the slightest bit more jaded and wary. But that's okay. Maybe in this world everyone HAS to be jaded and wary, so they don't get screwed all the time.
Rehearsals have been going really well. I'm pretty much off-book; the only trick being that I still need my script backstage to remember my entrance and exit cues. To non-theatre people, entering and exiting the stage doesn't sound very challenging, but in fact it's one of the hardest things for an actor to learn. Timing of an entrance is everything.
Tonight Forest is coming to help out at our rehearsal. We're short an actor, and our assistant director, so I think he's going to fill in for one of them. He really enjoys it, especially one night at a time. He doesn't particularly like the effect that a full-time production has on his life, and I'm starting to see his point. I am living out of my van; it's stuffed with empty take-out bags, pop cans, and juice bottles. All my bills are piled up in there, too, since that's when I open my mail. I haven't had a decent meal since Kirstin's birthday party, and Forest and I have been squeaking by with less than half of the time we're used to spending together. We miss each other. Thank god it's only a few more weeks. 3, to be exact, until opening night. 4 weeks and a day until it's all OVER with.
I love theatre; but now that I don't have a great burning need to do it, I don't think I will ever be as involved as I was before. I need my time with Forest and Kirstin. I need to have a reasonable schedule with room for meals. I need enough time in the day to brush my hair while looking in a mirror. (No kidding. You should see it today, it's frightening.) I would also like to have time for my friends, which I just plain do NOT right now. Last week I really wanted to make plans with Tiff, since I have hardly seen her since she's been back from Finland. It just wasn't possible though. I'm busy every day from 7 AM until 11 PM, if you include necessary hygeine and driving. What does that say to my friends? "Hey, I like you, but I'd rather sacrifice myself for my art than hang out with you??"
I don't think so. I don't think that's the kind of person I want to be; at least not anymore.
Within 3 days of getting off the plane from Japan, my sister Karen has already got a great prospect on a job. She was signing up to substitute teach music classes in the Eaton Rapids Public Schools, and it turns out that they are short two elementary music teachers. They have said that if she'll get her certification, they will work with her on keeping the position. Isn't that wonderful news! The only wierd part is that she'll be working closely with my mom (who has the same job in a different building) and the two of them haven't always seen eye to eye in the past. Still, I'd think if it were a professional thing, they could get along pretty well. Wouldn't it be strange if Karen, Laura, and I all ended up being teachers? It must be in the blood. My mom, a couple of my aunts, my dad, my grandma, and my uncle are all teachers. It's the prevalent occupation among us for generations. Even though we all grow up and go to college saying "Hell, no, we're never going to do that," more and more of us end up on teaching tracks all the time.
