My apologies for my recent lack of entries! In the past week I've had none of my usual schedule flexibility. Every time I've had a minute to spare something bigger and uglier has jumped into the fray. I believe I have now vanquished most of the beaurocrats, technocrats, luddites and occasional bosses who were in my way, thank heavens, so I can catch up a bit.
I've discovered in my short break from writing that I need this outlet most of the time. When I don't get this chance to sort out my thoughts, they never seem to get sorted! I spent most of last week being just a little 'off' and not really knowing why. I also just couldn't seem to get anything organized, and lost track of several things I had wanted to get done during the week. I know I rarely write detailed plans in my journal, however I think the process of writing here leads to other trains of logical thought. It forces me to step back and consider things, rather than making all my choices on the fly. That's definitely a good thing for me.
I spent most of last week designing a new web site (complete with graphics) for my company. This meant I had to learn Front Page 2000, which is positively icky, but required by our company's standards. (If all our pages are done with the same software, they should be easier for the central administration to maintain and support, right?) Anyhow, I think the new site will look really nice and professional; but I find myself fighting the people who just plain don't know any better. Our web committee wants me to add a 'pretty' background. I tried to point out that pretty backgrounds are busy, difficult to read against, add loading time, and would require several more hours of my time to design. This didn't sway them; so I have to adulterate my perfectly good site with something. I'll try to make something relatively inoffensive. Happily I have thus far been able to talk them out of flashing animated cutesy graphics.
Forest and I have been spending an obscene amount of time (and quarters) playing an arcade game. It's called Gauntlet Dark Legends, and it's one of those roleplaying type ones, where you clear levels of monsters and find treasure and bits of a larger puzzle. We've almost beaten the game; I think there's just one big monster left to fight. We're 55th and 54th level, I think. It's downright frightening. It's a fun date game, though, because we can sit down and play together as a team. It's also somewhat cathartic after a long day of dealing with beaurocracy and ice cream store customers.
To top that off, it just happens to be smack in between where I work and the location of my evening rehearsal. Forest and often I meet there at 5:30 and play until about 6:45, when I run to the car and drive to Bath for play practice.
We're considering getting a Playstation so that we can just do these things at home in the future, though. (Once we've beaten the arcade game, of course). It will actually be cheaper to buy a Playstation than it would be to play at the arcade for another month.
Wedding planning is going along smoothly. I've talked the whole thing over with my mom, and she's agreeable to having it in her great big pretty front yard. She has a shade garden where we will likely have the ceremony, and a large front lawn where we will probably pitch a big tent and several smaller ones for a reception. The pansies that I ordered in my bouquets are quickly becoming a theme. They are such happy, endearing little flowers, and they aren't too grand or formal. I also like that they aren't a usual 'wedding' flower. My mom and I will probably plant pots of pansies for all the tabletops and to decorate the ceremony site with.
I also talked with the local United Methodist pastor, who is affectionately referred to by all as 'Pastor Tom'. He's a very nice man, who performed ceremonies for my sister and my mom within the past 6 years. Forest and I didn't feel terribly comfortable with a religious officiant at first, because while we were both raised United Methodists, neither of us has been attending church in about 6 years. We also have beliefs which are definitely outside the doctrine of the church. I guess none of that really matters, though; my sister pointed out that she and her husband aren't particularly religious, either. So, a United Methodist pastor it is.
I looked into tuxedos, and found out that it actually costs less to outfit the groomsmen in a tux or three-piece suit than to buy them each a nice pair of pants and a shirt. Very strange. So it looks like that's the way we're going.
I feel somewhat strange about this, but some folks from the Internet have asked where I'm registered for gifts. Forest and I put up a preliminary registry at The Knot, so if anyone really wants to they can do that. (Look us up under Wendy Collins and Forest Tate). We're grateful for people's generosity, and amazed that anyone out there would want to honor us in that way. We're also both just superstitious enough to never turn down a gift (lest there never be another). So if you really want to do it, by all means, do. There really aren't inexpensive things on the web to register FOR, so we would more than understand if you wanted to skip it or just get us an Amazon gift certificate or something. Kindly emails and good wishes, however, mean just as much to us.
So when I'm chalking up a hundred reasons why I like an online journal better than the nightstand on paper version, I'll add this experience to the list. Wow. I've really appreciated all your support.
This weekend I worked a long shift at the Store, basically out of terror that my car loan wouldn't go through and thanks to my newly-huge house payment, we'd all starve to death. It turned out to be a really nice day; we were moderately busy, but I got to spend quite a bit of time alone with Angie, a coworker there, just talking about this and that. Angie went to U of M, and is now getting her teaching certificate at MSU. It's fun to talk to her about college, about being an outside member of the Tate family (she's known them longer than I have), and about people we both care about. Angie and I can also have long philosophical and intellectual conversations, which I also find really enjoyable.
After work she came over to my house, and we stayed up until an ungodly hour just hanging out and having fun. It's nice to be making a new friend! Angie's really neat, because she's a sweetheart, cares openly about people, is fun to hang around with, and has a very interesting perspective on life. When Forest came home from James's house at about 2 AM I think he was both suprised and happy to see I had company. I haven't done that in a very, very long time.
On the way home Saturday night I stopped at a wedding reception to pick Kirstin up. She was at her dad's cousin Kelli's reception, and all my ex-in-laws were there. It was really honestly nice to see all of them again; and they seemed earnestly happy to see me, too. I got big hugs and a warm welcome from the beamingly proud parents of the bride. I also hadn't seen my brothers in law in a few years, and I had graduated from high school with both of them, so that was a trip. They are both looking very tall, well-heeled, and successful. It's great to see them that way.
It also made me very happy to see that Bill (Kirstin's Dad) has been doing a good job keeping his family informed on the state of our friendship and tribe-parenting strategy. For everyone to treat me so warmly and basically like another member of an extended family is exactly what we'd hoped. I'm glad that everyone understands that divorced people don't have to hate each other. I got many congratulations on my engagement, which was nice, and I think one of my ex-brother-in-laws was checking Angie out. Hee hee.
Kirstin is a stitch at wedding receptions. She loves to dance. Once the music starts it's hard to get her to leave the dance floor, even long enough to eat dinner and cake. She inevitably finds a boy for the slower dances, which she enjoys for other reasons. After this wedding reception she had lots of questions for me about love, and boyfriends. Eeek.
I walked in and looked for her Saturday night, and almost didn't recognize her on the dance floor. She's getting so big now, that I can't just look for the waist-high people anymore; she blends in with shorter adults pretty well. Also, she was dancing in a rather adult fashion. I mean, there wasn't anything sexual about it, but certainly she has been influenced by her MTV-watching friend Lacey. Yikes. She looked like she had been clubbing recently. What a trip.
Sunday was Forest's day off, and we had intended to go to the Renaissance Festival, however it turned out that it was Master Kim's golf outing day, to which we'd both been invited. Unfortunately, I didn't think Kirstin would be good for a whole nine holes, so I had to skip it. We went to brunch as a family in the morning, and then went to the golf course to do a little driving until it was tee-time. I'm really not a good golfer. I have tried it three or four times now, and find that the best I can do is about 100 yards on a drive, and it usually bounces along the ground instead of going up in the air. It was a beautiful day, though, and I really wished I could have stayed, if only to walk around on the golf course for a couple of hours!
Instead, Kirstin wanted to go shopping. I decided that since she needed to do back-to-school provisioning and also had birthday money to spend, it was inevitable, so off to the mall we went. It was hard, because it was SO beautiful outside. Who in their right mind goes shopping on a day like that? We hit Target, where I got exciting stuff like detergent and shampoo, and she got a Power Puff Girls shirt. Then we were off to the mall.
What's most disturbing about all of this is that Kirstin is 9 now, and has suddenly become interested in shopping. She has also started to dislike my taste in kids' clothes. I knew this was coming, but I was hoping for a little more time. She isn't a trend shopper really, but she has a definite idea of "This is ME" and "This is NOT me." I really wasn't ready for that yet. I used to buy her clothes like I buy for myself, except with a more childish flair. I buy things that really don't go out of style because they never really come IN style; I have plain khaki pants I wear to work all the time. I buy simple blue jeans with straight legs. I'm pretty much a 'basic' shopper. Pants are pants, the plainer the better. A shirt is a shirt. I like things comfy, and don't particularly care whether they are flattering. I rarely try clothes on before I buy them, and if I do, it's only to be sure they fit, not to see how the look on me or 'build an ensemble'.
Kirstin is all about the look. You'd think she was outfitting herself for the Paris runway the way she plows through the racks.
And I wasn't ready to have a pre-teen yet.
On an odd note, Forest and I moved the couch out from the wall for cleaning on Sunday, and were very suprised to find the special collector's edition of 'Perfect10' magazine under there. It's basically soft porn; topless, with panties, relatively tasteful. He and I looked at each other oddly, because we know that it doesn't belong to either one of us. Forest is VERY anti-porn, and I am just not interested because I don't see any point in it. The closest thing we have to porn in our lives is Black Belt Magazine, which tends to have naked biceps in it and stuff. Wooo.
We were both a little wierded out by this. It's the August/September 2000 edition, so it must have arrived recently. What we can't figure out, though, is who would have left it there? Perhaps it's Josh; he's a prankster, and might enjoy that sort of thing. We would expect him to be more obvious about it, though. Other than that, the only folks we've had over to visit since that magazine was printed were at Kirstin's birthday party. Who would bring expensive porn to a kid's birthday party and leave it under the couch?
It's a little creepy. Forest and I lost sleep over it last night, trying to figure it out. What do we do, call the birthday guests for peace of mind?
"Hi Grandma. Did you happen to leave a magazine at our house when you came over? No? Well you sat near the couch most of the evening. Did you happen to see anyone stuff something under there?"
"Hi, Sam. Did you lose a magazine?"
For that matter, if we bring it up, some people will just assume that one of us is lying, and it's ours. Either I'm a closet lesbian and this is my idea of fun, or it's Forest's magazine, and he isn't bright enough to find a better hiding place for it, or to keep me from moving the couch while he's right there in the room. I don't want people thinking those kinds of things about our relationship.
So I guess we're going to just let it drop, and hope no more disturbing materials show up. We'll assume it was a good-natured joke. Hopefully people understand that they can't cause chaos between Forest and I with that sort of thing. We know each other too well.
For future reference, though, if anyone is reading this who plans to leave porno in our house, we'd prefer you to put it up high somewhere, so that there isn't the risk of Kirstin finding it. The top shelf of the linen closet is good, as is the top of the fridge, or Forest's top dresser drawer.
Anyway, that was certainly an interesting way to end the weekend.
I'm starting to really look forward to being done with play practice. It was hard for me to do it in the first place, spending so much time away from Forest and so on. This week, though, the only night he and I will get to see each other is Tuesday. Classes at LCC start on Thursday, and he's got to work open to close all weekend. Soon enough our Tuesday night will be filled with Taekwondo class, and we won't have a single night free until the play is over. It's really kind of icky. On the upside, I think I'm doing a good job on the play, and I know it will have been worth it when it's over, and I won't regret it. It's just hard at the moment.
