Wow. I have been *so* sick. I didn't even reallize how truly crappy I felt until I got drugs and found out what feeling good is supposed to be like. I thought I had somehow lost all my ambition. I forgot to be interested in my work. I fell asleep on my desk. I didn't sleep nights. I had pounding headaches and runny noses and upset stomachs and was in hell for so long!! Why didn't I go to the doctor sooner? Answer: I'm stupid. My mom always taught us that we should leave sicknesses alone for a couple of weeks, and only go to the doctor if we had fevers, or if they didn't go away. So my whole life I have never been to the doctor unless I've been sick that long. Of course, now I have had a sinus infection for so long that it made my *teeth* hurt, and robbed me of a lot of sleep, and sucked away my job performance, and made me a grouchy intolerant mess. I felt like I was living in a bubble, because I didn't hear anything beyond my own ears, and wasn't terribly interested in anything but the world of pain.
So now I am going to put all of that behind me. I am hopped up on some really great prescription antihistamines and antibiotics and can actually feel some connection with the world around me again! I can sort of hear now, and at least I'm not getting that 'cocoon' feeling anymore. This whole weekend was such a drag. I can't believe I let myself be so ruled by this thing. The only redeeming value is that on Sunday, even though I didn't feel up to going anywhere, I put one foot in front of another and made myself go the the cast party for 'Witness'.
It was a beautiful day. The sunshine was streaming between the tall trees into B & R's yard. It was just the right temperature, with just enough of a breeze. The people who came were the ones I wanted to see, and not the ones I didn't. It was thoroughly enjoyable. The food was yummy too. Nothing tastes as good as corn on the cob when you eat it in the sun and let the butter drip all over the place. I was allowed to sit in the sun, and talk to my friends and other interesting people. Then someone came and plunked a baby in my lap, so I got all sorts of great cuddles and smiles. My munchkin had fun entertaining herself with the cats, and everything was grand. It was heaven and there were ice cream sandwiches! We stayed far longer than I thought we would, and I even picked up a little tan. It made me realize what was missing in the world, and led me to go get the great antibiotics and stuff. I was really glad I went.
I missed work on Monday and for part of Tuesday getting this taken care of though, which means I am a bit on the behind side. Amazingly enough, the people I work with are cool about that though. They covered for me while I was out, and told me not to come back until I felt better. I guess it's got something to do with their working in public health.
I got an email today that Outings Productions is putting on Midsummer Night's Dream this summer, and that their audition turnout wasn't good, and they were looking for people. A theatre friend gave me the guy's number. I'm kind of torn about this. I really should take some time off. But it's my favorite Shakespeare play... and maybe I could audition for Puck.. which is my favorite Shakespeare role. So as you can see, my train of thought has run away with me, and I have abandoned common sense altogether. One minor hitch is that I think Outings is a gay and lesbian theatre company, and I don't know if they will take a straight person. (I also don't know a diplomatic way to ask them). I don't mind performing with gay people. Let's get real. It's theatre. There have been gay and lesbian actors since Sappho's time and before. I just don't know whether they are in the mood to discriminate against me. (I'm pretty much as straight as they come.)
I'm also going to be doing Sexual Perversity in Chicago which is a play by David Mamet, (not porn, you sickos) with Jeff at an art gallery downtown. This is Jeff's first attempt at theatre on his own, outside of community theatre. I'm flattered that he asked me to do it, and I think the script is great. Of course I'm overcommitting... but at least this one will rehearse close to home. Actually, it will most likely rehearse in my house.
