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Rankings

Tonight the brown belt students in our Tae Kwon Do class are testing for their black belts. It's a pretty big deal, because of the amount of things to be tested upon. I'm not sure how to explain it... I guess it would be sort of like requiring a comprehensive final exam for students to get their bachelor's degrees. I know I couldn't pass a test on things today that I knew my freshman year of college. I just plain don't remember that well.

So in part it's a mental test. Can you remember all the things Master Kim taught you? Also, can you concentrate enough to perform them all with proper form? Can you process information quickly, and respond as soon as you're commanded to do something, or must you stand there, translating things into your own terms and remembering how to do them first?

It's also a physical test. Have you learned to relax enough to get the proper stances? Are your eyes in the right place, your hand and foot positions correct? Have you mastered the basics of each kick, each form, each punch? Is your posture good? Do you have the stamina to perform the whole test without faltering? Are you breathing correctly?

Part of mastering Tae Kwon Do is learning to possess and demonstrate an indomitable spirit. Do you tough it out? When things are going against you, do you get frustrated, or do you concentrate and stick with them? A serious student will at all times be modest and honest. If confronted with injustice, he will deal with the beligerent without fear or hesitation and with indomitable spirit regardless of extenuating circumstances.

Aside from the indomitable spirit, there are other personal attributes that Master Kim will doubtless consider. Students are expected to develop a high degree of courtesy, self control, and integrity. They are also supposed to learn perseverence.

To pass the black belt test you don't have to master these things, only show an acceptable level of effort toward them. Master Kim has his own benchmarks of what levels of these things he expects from his students.

I think of the people who will test tonight, about half will probably succeed. I can think of one fellow who may fail on the attitude front, one on the physical end, and another on the mental part. So Forest and I may be going out to celebrate or to comiserate this evening, I'm not sure which.

I also haven't decided what I really think of the belt ranking system. It's a bizarre twist on martial arts that I'm not sure I like... but I can see the purpose of it, I guess. According to most of the sources I can find, it started with the founder of judo, back in the 1800's, when he decided to distinguish a couple of his students apart from the others by giving them black obi for their kimonos. This made them his assistant teachers. Soon after they added a group of brown-sashed students, who served to assist the assistants. The trend became formalized, and soon was adopted by the Japanese as a standard for Karate teachers and students. Some myths on the subject say that the belt darkened as it naturally got dirtier and dirtier through the passage of time... so you can tell the most experienced artist, because his white belt has turned darkest with filth. Ick!

Somewhere along the way, it stopped being a symbol for a teacher, or a high-ranking student, and started to be a goal; something students would strive to achieve. I think a lot of this comes from the Americanization of martial arts. Studio instructors have to keep students to stay in business, and the American consumer wants to advance. They want something to show for the money they pay to the school; a pat on the back helps, but they want that belt. I'm speaking in broad generalizations, but honestly, I know that these schools must advance people in order to stay afloat. If someone spends 3 years as a yellow belt, he feels discouraged, and unless he really has that desire to learn, he will probably give up the game.

That natural desire to learn is somewhat hard to come by these days, when people are used to having everything they need to know fed to them.

I think it's probably better to learn at one's own pace, for the sake of learning. People can be inspired without any sort of rank or reward to do great things.

I also don't like the common misconception that floats around, that earning a black belt means you're done learning and can start teaching. Quite the opposite, a black belt means you have *started* to learn the way of the martial artist. I really think you learn more by teaching, by patiently explaining, and by living the life of an artist than you do by following along with your classmates, bowing, and saying "yes, sir" a lot.

Bowing and saying yes, sir are nice, don't get me wrong. But it's important to learn to think and train on your own. I think people lose sight of that when they see the Dan ranks as a stopping place instead of a starting place.

A lot of schools in the US don't hold up the standards like I think they should. Some of them promote their students every year whether they have earned it or not. Some of them grant belts in screwy new colors I've never seen before, so that there is a reward-step between yellow and green, and between blue and brown.

Most of the World Tae Kwon Do federation schools that I have read about use the same belt system Master Kim does. White belts are for beginners. Yellow are next, then green, blue, brown, and black. The white through brown represent the "gup" ranks, and the blacks are "dan" ranks. It's pretty straightforward. Some schools have specific skills and virtues the students are expected to learn at each rank, but Master Kim pretty much expects that you will immerse yourself and learn all of those things at once. (Which is why it takes so long!)

The only real sense I can see in any belt color other than white and black is that I suppose when you get into the sporting end of Tae Kwon Do, it's good to have belt rankings. That way the 4th Dan black belt doesn't end up fighting me, the going-on-green belt, just because we are in the same weight division. It's much more fun and a lot more exciting a sport for that 4th Dan guy to be paired up with another fellow of similar rank, who can actually put up a bit of a fight. Don't get me wrong, there will still be some lucky going-on-green belt who can kick that 4th Dan guy in the head and take him out, but there would be more luck than sport involved.

So I guess that makes sense. I believe in a belt system for the "sport" of Tae Kwon Do, but not for the "art" of it.

Of course, I'm no exception to the American way. Patience is a hard thing for me to learn, and I have been trying hard for years to get a handle on it. At my heart I participate in Tae Kwon Do to have fun, to stay in shape, and to learn new things. It makes me feel good about myself, builds confidence, and reminds me daily of humility. These are all valuable things. Some days, though, when I'm training, dripping sweat, bruising myself silly and getting kicked in the head, I slide into impatience, and fix that next belt color firmly in my mind, using it to push myself through.

It's wrong, and I don't like it, but I do it.

At least with Master Kim I know that if I'm granted a rank, I've earned it and then some. He doesn't joke around about that stuff, and has way too much integrity to just promote someone to keep them interested.

I'm really sleepy this afternoon, and would like nothing better than a nap in the sunshine. Of course, my boss would frown on that, so I'm patiently waiting for 5 PM, and my precious hour between work and Tae Kwon Do club. Perhaps a nap will fit nicely in there. Nah, I think we're planning to get to club early, in case anyone needs to review for their black belt tests. Forest and I packed our sparring pads, air shield and a focus pad, so we're ready for anything.

Yay, my Michigan tax return is here already! I'm really impressed, I only filed it on the 10th, and it was direct deposited to my checking account yesterday! That's only one week of turnaround time. I'm never turning taxes in on paper again. I think tonight I will see if I can buy Forest a drink or something. We've been pinching our pennies furiously lately, since the gas prices have been just killing us. We try to carpool as often as possible, but frequently it just hasn't been an option. So we're trying to keep two gas tanks full. It's just not fun. We deserve to be frivolous for a while.

Yesterday we were talking about money on the phone, before I knew that the tax return was in, and really frustrating each other. We were trying to figure out how much he needed to deposit to cover his part of bills, and I was feeling really clueless, since I've been using Yahoo! Bill Pay, and it's making me insecure.

See, what I used to do was when I got paid, I would sit down and write checks for all the bills. Then I would pull out my fixed allowance in cash to cover gas and groceries. Then I wouldn't touch my checking account until the next pay period. If something came up in between paydays, I would reconcile my checkbook with the bank, by getting the balance, checking to see that all the checks had cleared, and verifying that the amount I had planned on having in the account was indeed there. Then I would know for SURE how much I could withdraw, or how much I needed to deposit.

See, I don't have confidence in my ability to balance the checkbook, and I know I'm not good at keeping a mental tally of withdrawals and electronic transfers, so I was in the habit of checking it about 3 times over to make sure I wouldn't screw up.

With everything on Yahoo Bill Pay, I never know whether one of my bill payments has been taken from my account or not. Right now I know what the balance is, but I don't know if my house payment has cleared yet, because Yahoo doesn't give me a check number. I won't know whether that check has cleared until I get my bank statement at the end of April. I'm finding I'm very uncomfortable with this. If Yahoo would only tell me what check number they used to make a transaction, I would be okay with it, because I could track it down with my bank. As things stand now, I can only check into it by purchasing an account history from my lovely local teller and paying $3 per PAGE of it. Ack.

So when I was talking to Forest about this on the phone, I got a flustered, and felt like a complete moron, because I couldn't be sure that the amount stated in my checking account was really there. I really wish I were better at this stuff. Forest's good at it. He knows his checking account balance right off the top of his head, and can add up any debits against it instantly. He remembers the location of most of the money he spends. I never feel like I know where mine goes.

Then again, he doesn't have half the number payments to keep track of that I do.

Last night I worked on the logo for The Store, and I think it came out really well. I wish I had kept a copy of it for you to see! It's a little vanilla ice cream guy with cherry dip-top on his head, a big smile, and a chubby tummy that says "Tate's Freeze" on it. It's pretty cool. I thought Forest's dad was going to jump up and down, he was so excited about it. It makes me feel good to have done something for the Store that no one else had the skillset to do. I feel like I really contributed something! Today when I ate my free lunch there, I felt like I had earned it.

The little ice cream guy is a big hit among the employees, too. Cece wants one stitched into her apron, Mary is reminded of the logo back in the olden days, and Forest smiled when he saw it, and wants to get it painted on the side of the building, so I figure that's good.

Man, am I ever in a Forest-worshipping mood these past few days. We've both noticed it, and I don't know where it came from. (He jokingly said it's only natural. We both laughed at that.) All I want to do is hug him, kiss him, and feel his arms around me. Today he was very kindly about doing those things during my lunch break. It was lovely, and I'm still positively beaming from it.

That damned headachy thing is back! I discovered it last year, when I rolled down my car window on a nice spring day, and was forced to close it in a fit of sneezing, congestion, and running eyes. Well, it's back, and it's pissing me off. I liked being able to walk outside without getting a headache and stuffy nose. Damn allergies.

At least, that's what I assume they must be, since I chronicled it last year at about the same time. I probably ought to get tested. Problem is, antihistamines knock me out, and that's about all they can really do for allergies, right? So what's the point of going in if I'm going to refuse treatment?

Actually, it's time for my annual checkup. Maybe I should add that to my list of questions for the doctor. I really ought to have him look at my toes, which seem to have developed a whole new shape since they were broken, and still pain me greatly whenever they are touched. They also still ache when I stand for more than a few minutes, and of course when I work out. No joke, it sucks.

Last night at bell choir rehearsal I discovered that the only concert date we have in Lansing is the same night that my folks are all going to a wedding, and practically all of my friends are going to be in Dr. Faustus that night. Bah. Well, you all will come, right? (I'm smiling sweetly, but don't really expect you to.)

Well, just in case you want to, our public concerts are:

April 29
First Congregational Church of Elyria
Concert 7:00 p.m.
330 2nd Street
Elyria, OH
Phone: 440.323.5454

April 30
Concert: 4:00 p.m.
St. Mark's United Methodist Church
800 S. Main Street
Findlay, OH
Phone: 419.422.4236

May 5
Entrican Bible Church
Concert: 7:30 p.m.
4647 Grow Road
Stanton, MI
Phone: 517.762.5487

May 13
Dart Auditorium - Lansing Community College
Concert: 7:30 p.m.
500 N. Capitol Avenue
Lansing, MI
Phone: 517.483.1623 (Box Office)

A lot of our venues are churches, because that's where handbells got their start. In actuality, though, ours is not a sacred repertoire. We're mainly secular, and when we play in a church it's usually as a 'fellowship' activity, which is what the church calls it when they all just hang out and have fun instead of praying and preaching all the time. I promise you, you've never seen anything like our concert before. It's an experience.

Most of the concerts are free, and we pass the hat at the end. The one at Dart auditorium is $7.50 per person, to cover the fee for the hall.

So now I've used my journal to toot my own personal horn. You happy?

I've recently become addicted to Epinions. It's pretty fun to get out there and tell the world what I think about some particular item, movie, or whatever. Of course I gave my minivan lots of love, and then got going on the movies. I also enjoy reading what my friends have written. As long as I'm engaging in shameless self-promotion, you can find my reviews under the author name "lunardaisy". (Don't laugh, that is my Yahoo username, and everything else I could think of was taken.)

I guess that's enough abuse of wavelength for one day. Hasta la vista.