with each breath ....
[
Suicidal Tendencies
] [
Distorted Reflection
]
"Suicidal Tendencies"
I look and think about tomorrow
With sadness and growing dread.
My only wish with sleep
Is that I'll never again have to wake and lift my head.
With each breath,
I wish it were my last.
These thoughts torture me.
Images of my present and past.
I cry alone and wonder
Is death my enemy or friend?
I don't really want to die.
Yet, sometimes I smile when thinking of the end.
Distorted Reflection
I can no longer stand to fight this battle,
This struggle to stay strong.
I realize it now,
I've been alive far too long.
I am consumed by the numbness
Of a beating heart that has long been dead.
As my world falls and crumbles around me
I don't even have the strength to lift my head.
My eyes begin to burn
And down falls a tear.
I hate it!
It's a sign of my weakness and fear.
Out of the corner of my eye,
I catch a glimpse of my reflection.
I see nothing but a pathetic girl
Living a pointless life of deception.
I scream as I push my fist
Through every mirror in this place.
Every one that dares to hold
The horrendous image of my face.
I see pictures there,
In the shards of broken glass.
I flinch at the painful images
Of myself and my shattered past.
I slowly close my eyes
And drift away to meet my friend.
A deep, dark, dreamless sleep.
A sleep that will meet no end.
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