to the world
do you value honesty beyond the face of the matter? to the core? honesty is a noble vitue, and, like free speech, is easily lost. what do you really think of honesty?

is it what you believe in?

for all you SciFi book lovers. enders game... the movie?

---

you are love.
you don't want to be left alone in the end.
you have a passion for life. for sight. for touch.
for breathing. everything is beautiful.
and you want to experiance it all.
sometimes you get so wrapped up in how beautiful
the world is that you can't breathe.
you don't want to die young, and you want to feel
the world.
water. or dirt.


emotion ;
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...survey says...?
Spell your first name backwards: semaJ... Semaj?
Birthday: March 6th, 1984
Nationality: Canajian
Favorite month: April/May, when it's not raining

"Describe your"
wallet: black leather, ali's mom gave it to me
key chain: a bottle opener (sam adams), the war amps tag thing, and, uhh... keys.
jewelry worn: the ring from ali, occasionally
pillow cover: many, right now it's just black
coffee cup: bill d. cat *ack*, or london with the union jack, or my travell mug.
shoes: running shoes, grey and red
school bag: a soft shoulder briefcase, from ali.
favorite shirt: the red small one, or my tie dye.
favorite pants: blue jeans
cologne/perfume: dune, but i don't wear it often
piercing: not yet
in my head: constently confusing, failing, etc...
eating habit: getting better. i lost 10 pounds.
some of your favorite movies: oh, don't make me choice. get shorty.
Do you believe in love at first sight: yes
the last thing you ate?: dark chocolate.
do you have multiple personalities?: i have me
thing that you are deathly afraid of?: i go through phases...
do you believe in love: yes
who is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush: yes
what do you notice first in the opposite sex: the soul. i wish
are you currently in love: yes
first crush: oh SO grade 4, monica.
first love: ali
quote you like?: there are many of them, and some of them are wearing life jackets...
siblings: nope
do you believe in forgiveness: yes
three places you wouldn't mind relocating to?: 3? permanently? hmmm, i don't really know what it would be like, but london. vancouver. and maybe strassbourg(sp?)
what are some of your favorite foods?: i like carbs alittle to much. pasta, rice... hot stuff
last person you kissed: ali

"Stuff"
you keep a diary: blogger, i used to keep a journal.
you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: not right now, or rather, not that's mine
you fold your underwear: i have... in the past, right now, i haven't even folded my laundry.
you talk in your sleep: maybe? i snore.

last..
movie you bought/received: me personally? none, but my family got the original Italian Job, with Michael Caine(sp?)
song you listened to: brown sugar, by the rolling stones
song you've downloaded: doing my music project i downloaded a bunch of versons of Toccata and Fugue in D minor, by J.S. Bach.
TV show you've watched: King of the Hill.

..or..
black or white?: black
cats or dogs?: both are nice.
achiever or slacker?: i'm a pretty hard working slacker.
leader or follower?: sometimes either.
matches or a lighter?: matches
letters or emails?: email
short hair or long hair?: bah whatever

I want to..
Go: vacation in greece
Kill: nothing
Hear from: lost friends
Meet/Visit: Spider Robinson
Avoid: stress
Hug: everyone
Kiss: ali

have you ever..
drank alcohol? yes
broken the law? yes
ran away from home? no
broken a bone? yes, finger and leg
cheated on a test? no
played Truth Or Dare? yes
Kissed someone you didn't know? not that i can remember
Been on a talk show/game show? not that wasn't a student production
Been in a fight? yes
Ridden in a fire truck? no
Been on a plane? yes, many a time
Come close to dying? i can't remember, i probably repressed it.
Gave someone a piggy back ride? yes
Swam in the ocean? yes
Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up? yes
Wanted to die? yes
Had a crush? yes

are you..
vegetarian? no, but i've considered it.
good student? no, and highschool failed to make me one, cause i'm smart, aparently.
good at wake boarding/snow boarding?: no
good singer? getting better
a deep sleeper? i fell asleep in class today

does it exist. do i roam the my internal landscape and dream of creating some perfection in the real world that can never be. and in the search, i become blinded by drive and emotion. if only i could target this drive... don't i get to say what i can or can't deal with? i would have it all, my only friend. this feeling of need, my hole, i know what fills it. or i think i do. but that in of it's self is far luckier than most people i know. or i think i am

why can't i be happy with the near perfect life i have? why do i have to be so frustrated with stagnecy?

time to bitch and whine
being home alone really sucks when your sick and bored. my head is full of something awful and i ache and i have no energy and i'm lonely and :(

make a resume?
so, i put it to you, the people. who am i? james david clarke, born march 6th 1984, winner of silver metals in science fairs, a high school graduate with an 90+ average. a student musician of at least moderate accomplishment. a student of media is some special happy school.
a creator, a thinker, a doer?
an ear, a shoulder, a heart?
a peacemaker, a pushover, a puppy dog?
a friend, a lover, a man?


i like me

i win

i don't mean to brag
There are so many place's i still want to go!!




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6 more weeks of winter
i think i understand primal scream therapy now. this next bit of my life, like the frist 3 weeks of feb are promising to be hardcore. SO MUCH SO, that i don't think i mind the fact that i'm going to bitch to you about them. the essays are beginning to pile up, midterms start next week, not to mention, my feature, my radioshow, my soundstory, and getting a summer job.
i'm tell you this because i nees to say it. i don't want your sympathy, not today.
i'm worried. this stress is starting to affect my physically. i get sick way easier, my hands will break out in hives, and my face seems to sag. i need to relax. when i can, i dunno.
i don't like feeling like i want to be selfish, i hate that feeling.

metablog #2
i'd just like to say that Chris(Ritz)'s and Lucas's most recent blogs have really interested me of late. check them out. i've got to run to class so no embedded links:(