Memories I:
Hong Kong


December 1998

Disclaimer: They belong to John Woo, Alliance, etc, but since they cancelled the show, I'm going to keep playing with them!

Mac saw the package in his mail, but he didn't have time to stop to open it. He was late for a briefing session, and the Director was sure to make him pay for it. The box would still be there when he got back. If the Director let him live to get back.

He ran into the room, finding himself the immediate focus of four pairs of eyes. Li Ann's were resigned, Jackie's indifferent, Vic's amused, and the Director's were cool, letting him know that as usual, he was in trouble. Some things never changed.

"So good of you to join us, Mr. Ramsey," the Director stated silkily.

"Sorry, I forgot to set my alarm last night." Mac decided that the truth couldn't hurt. It probably wouldn't help, but it couldn't hurt.

"Hmm. Perhaps in future I should have Dobrinsky bring you in for meetings?" she mused, ignoring his expression of horror.

"Uh, no, that won't be necessary. It was an aberration; it won't happen again." Mac was sweating at the thought of waking up to Dobrinsky every morning.

"See that it doesn't. Well, boys and girls, it seems that the Agency has decided that even our employees require R&R from time to time. So as of now, you're all on vacation for the next four weeks. I don't want to see any of you around here till after that. And I expect you to come back rested and ready to work." With that, she turned and walked out of the room, leaving Vic, Li Ann and Mac staring at each other while Jackie jumped up gleefully and raced out.

They hastened to leave before she changed her mind. Li Ann invited the two men to join her for lunch, but remembering the mysterious package, Mac asked them to come to his apartment instead. He was curious to see what was in it. Li Ann agreed, so of course Vic did too.

Mac managed to restrain his curiosity until after lunch. But as soon as they'd eaten and tidied the kitchen, he headed for the box. He opened it carefully, but nothing exploded or otherwise did any damage, so he peered inside.

Vic and Li Ann watched curiously as Mac pulled out a letter, a journal, and some kind of album.

Mac glanced at the signature on the letter, surprised to see that it was from his father. He started reading the letter, the expression on his face freezing as he did. He dropped it on the table, opening the album. The first page showed a picture of a pretty woman holding a newborn baby. Each picture showed that same woman and the child at different ages, some including Mac's father. The last few shots were recognizably a young Mac.

He dropped the other book on the table without opening it. According to his father's letter, it was his mother's journal. It seemed that she hadn't died when he was a child as his father had told him, but had left them for some mysterious reason. His father told him in the letter that he felt it was time to tell Mac the truth and let him decide what to do about it.

"Mac, what's wrong?" Li Ann sounded concerned.

Mac simply handed her the letter, and she and Vic read it.

"So what are you going to do?" Vic asked.

"Go to Hong Kong."

"What?" Li Ann was stunned.

"According to my father's letter, that's the last place he saw my mother. At least it explains why he kept going back there when I was a kid. He must have been hoping to find her. Now it's my turn to try. I need to know what happened to my mother." He hesitated nervously, but he had to ask. "I could use some help and moral support."

"I can't." Li Ann shook her head. "I can't go back to Hong Kong. After everything that happened and our father's death, I don't ever want to go back there again. I'm sorry, Mac, but you can't ask me to do that."

Mac nodded, but Victor could see the flash of pain in his eyes. He was amazed to hear himself say, "I'll go with you, Mac. You shouldn't have to face this alone."

Mac was surprised by the offer, but he took Vic up on it. Although it should be safe for him to return to Hong Kong now that the Tangs were dead, he didn't think he could do it alone. And despite their rivalry and constant bickering, he knew he could count on Vic.

Less than 48 hours after deciding to go, Vic and Mac checked into a suite at a Hong Kong hotel. It was the first time Mac had used any of the money he'd inherited when the Tang Godfather died. He still had trouble believing the old man had forgiven him and Li Ann enough to leave them a large share of his fortune. And the painting. But he didn't feel right about using the money most of the time. Only now, knowing how expensive everything was in Hong Kong and how little money Vic had to spare, especially considering that he was only there because of Mac, was he willing to touch the money. And since he was using it, they might as well be comfortable.

Vic looked around the luxurious suite with interest. Seeing how at ease Mac was in these surroundings, he began to understand the younger man a little better. He'd known that Mac had been a member of a powerful crime family, but knowing his background on the streets after being separated from his father, Vic had never really realized that Mac was accustomed to being surrounded by the trappings of wealth and power. Taking that into account, many of his actions made a lot more sense. He watched Mac prowl restlessly, unable to settle anywhere for more than an instant. The younger man was obviously anxious to get started.

"So where do we start, Mac?" Vic shrugged when Mac stared at him in surprise. "You know the city, I don't. So I'll follow your lead."

Mac was surprised. He'd expected to have a battle royal with Vic to make that very point. Perhaps without Li Ann there to trigger feelings of rivalry, they'd actually be able to get along. Maybe even become friends. He admitted, "I'm not really certain where to start. We are, after all, looking for a woman who disappeared 20 years ago, presumably of her own volition. And my father was never able to find a trace of her."

"Would he have filed a missing person's report? It would at least give us some idea of what was checked, maybe even have some information about her habits and where she liked to go. We need a starting point." Vic tried to get Mac thinking.

"Uh, yeah, I think he'd have filed a report. But the cops in this city are not likely to help me with anything. We'll have to steal the file."

"You want to break into the police station?!"

"Don't be ridiculous! You think I'm nuts?" He glared when Vic opened his mouth to answer. "I still know people here. I'll hire someone to hack into their computer system. The files from the 70s should be computerized."

By the following afternoon Mac was $10,000 poorer and the proud possessor of the police file on his mother's disappearance. But when they opened the file, Mac was sorely disappointed. The only information was the date his father reported her missing, a vague description and the address they had been living at then. Mac pushed away from the laptop, swearing. "This is useless! I'll never find out what happened to her!" He paced across the room, stopping at the window to stare out blindly, one arm supporting him against the glass.

Vic stared at Mac silhouetted against the sunset over Kowloon, seeing the tension in his posture. He walked over to his partner, stopping behind him and hesitantly putting a hand on his shoulder. Mac stiffened at the touch, then turned to face Victor, tear tracks showing on his face. Vic slowly raised a hand to his cheek to wipe the tears away.

Mac's eyes closed at the gentle touch, then fluttered open to stare directly into Vic's green gaze. He waited uncertainly for Victor's next move, motionless.

Vic stared back, his thoughts racing. What the hell am I doing? Why am I touching Mac like this? Am I really thinking about comforting him, kissing him? Whoa! Where did that come from? I want to kiss Mac? Yes. I do. So he did.

Mac's eyes widened as far as possible as Victor leaned toward him, eyes never leaving his, his intention unmistakable. His lips parted in surprise - or was it anticipation - just as Vic's gently settled over them.

Vic pressed their mouths together for a moment, content with the touch. When Mac didn't pull away, he lightly traced Mac's lower lip with his tongue before sucking it into his own mouth and gently biting down. Mac moaned faintly and leaned into the kiss. Taking that as encouragement, Vic let his tongue glide inside Mac's mouth, tracing the contours and learning his taste.

Mac's tongue tentatively met Vic's, welcoming the intruder. He could taste the beer Vic had earlier, and under it Vic's own flavor. Slowly, Victor backed away, eyes opening again.

"Come on, you're exhausted. Let's get some sleep before we head back out tonight," Vic suggested, smiling.

Mac nodded, heading for his bedroom. At the door he stopped. "Would you stay with me, Vic?" He looked over his shoulder, meeting Vic's eyes anxiously. "Just hold me? I...I don't want to be alone."

Vic smiled again as he walked over to join Mac. "Of course I will. Come on." He took Mac's hand, pulling him into the bedroom. Kicking off his shoes, as did Mac, Victor lay down on the bed, shifting over to make room for Mac. Mac settled beside him, blindly turning into his embrace, settling his head on Vic's shoulder and clinging to him as the only familiar thing in a shifting world.

Vic tightened his arms around Mac, stroking his hair soothingly till the younger man fell asleep. Smiling down at the man he was coming to realize was very precious to him, Victor dozed off.

When they woke up a little later, Vic convinced Mac that they couldn't accomplish anything aimlessly wandering around Hong Kong. Instead they would go out for a leisurely dinner and enjoy themselves gambling before starting fresh the next day. So they dressed up for a night on the town, neither noticing the many second looks they got from members of both sexes since they were concentrating on each other.

At dinner Mac took every opportunity to touch Victor, a hand on his arm when he was making a point, a quick brush of their fingers when passing something, knees pressing together beneath the table. And Vic reciprocated, finally putting his hand over Mac's on the table and interlacing their fingers. The meal, though excellent, was sadly under-appreciated, as both men could have been eating cardboard for all the attention they paid it. After eating, they went to a Kowloon club that had been Mac's favorite when he lived in Hong Kong.

Several women greeted Mac with kisses when they saw him, making him look nervously at Victor. Vic only laughed, having expected that based on what he knew of Mac's past. But he did watch the group of men eyeing Mac while one detached himself from the group and walked toward them.

"Mac Ramsey."

Mac turned and froze. "Jonathan Lao." He bowed slightly. "I am honored that you remember me."

"How could I not remember he who was as a son to the head of the Tang family? Why have you returned?"

Mac sighed. "I have no desire to make trouble for anyone or to become involved in the Family's affairs. I was given information that my birth mother was last seen in Hong Kong 20 years ago. I am trying to find out what happened to her."

"Ah." Lao nodded to them and turned away, hesitating briefly. "Out of respect to Mr. Tang, if I may be of any assistance to you, please feel free to call upon me."

"Thank you." Mac bowed again as Lao walked away.

"Who was that?" Vic wanted to know.

"The man who replaced my father as the head of the Tang organization. He is letting me know that there is no price on my head now."

"I thought that was a given with the old man's death? That's why you could come back?" Vic sounded angry.

"Not exactly," Mac replied sheepishly. "It was likely that it was safe for me, but I had no way to be sure. I chose to take the chance. But you were never in any danger. Even if there still had been a price on my head, they would not have involved an outsider or harmed you in any way."

Now Vic was furious. "So I was supposed to just watch them kill you and go home like nothing happened afterward?! Is that what you think of me? That I only care about my own safety?" Vic glared at him, hurt and angry, and stormed away.

Mac stared after him in dismay, wondering what the hell happened. A minute ago they'd been happy in their own world, and now he was watching Vic's back disappear through the crowd. He suddenly realized that he'd better follow Victor, since he had no guarantee that the other man would go back to the hotel. He'd been totally furious when he left.

He hastened after Vic, just in time to see him step into cab and drive away. Mac swore and flagged another cab, instructing the driver to follow the one Vic was in. The driver looked at him strangely when he actually told him, "Follow that cab" like a character in a bad movie but did as directed. Mac breathed a sigh of relief when they stopped outside their hotel, throwing a handful of cash to the driver in his rush to catch up with Victor.

Mac stepped into their suite to total silence. He knew that Vic hadn't had time to leave yet, but the lack of sound made him nervous. It reminded him of the day he returned to the cheap hotel room he and his father were sharing, and his father wasn't there. Mac had waited in that room for four days before the hotel manager kicked him out for non-payment. It had been just this quiet then. Mac started to shake, sliding down the wall as his knees refused to support him, ending up huddled on the floor beside the door. He wrapped his arms around his knees, silently rocking in place, so consumed by his misery he never noticed when Vic stepped out of his room wearing a robe.

Vic stopped dead, staring at Mac who obviously didn't see him or anything outside himself. He moved to the younger man's side, dropping to his knees. He flinched at the sound of the faint whimpers he could hear now that he was so close, reaching out to gather Mac into his arms. Mac remained stiff for a moment before collapsing into Vic's embrace, wrapping his arms around the other man, and sobbing into his chest. Vic held him tightly as he gasped out his memories of being abandoned by his father, his fear, and what he'd had to do to survive on the streets before being lucky enough to try picking the pocket of the Tang Godfather. Tears ran down Vic's face at what he heard, but he just held Mac, murmuring soothingly till he quieted.

When Mac was finally still in his arms, Vic pushed himself to his feet, holding back a groan at the stiffness of his legs and drew Mac up after him, maintaining his hold on him. He led him to Mac's bedroom, undressing him while he stood docilely. Mac lay down on the bed at Vic's urging, and Vic was starting to really worry. Then he noticed that Mac was staring at him, a child's fear and longing in his eyes. At least he was reacting.

Vic shrugged off his robe, lying down beside Mac, both of them in their boxers. Mac reached out tentatively, and when Victor didn't reject his touch, he snuggled closer, his arm across Vic's chest and his head tucked into the hollow of his shoulder. Vic held him, wondering when the cocky ex-thief had lost all his defenses and started depending on him. He dropped a kiss on the tousled head, hoping the rest of the trip would be less stressful for both of them. He fell asleep without any answers.

Vic woke up the next morning to the sensation of a warm tongue stroking his cock just before someone - Mac - swallowed him. He arched into the mouth sucking him, still half asleep, moaning with pleasure. He could feel Mac's tongue fluttering along his length before he pulled back until only the tip remained in his mouth, and he flicked the tip of his tongue across the head. Vic couldn't help thrusting into Mac's mouth, wanting more, loving what he was doing to him.

He groaned in pleasure, combing his fingers through Mac's hair and holding his head to himself. Mac had obviously done this before; Vic couldn't believe the pleasure. He started fucking Mac's mouth, ramming deep into his throat, and Mac took it easily, letting Vic's erection slide down his throat to be milked by his throat muscles. Vic came with a hoarse cry, stroking Mac's hair as he calmed down.

He pulled Mac off him, tilting his head up to meet his eyes, expecting to see the familiar grin. Instead he was shocked to find a blank expression worthy of any street whore. "Mac?"

The sound of his voice seemed to snap Mac out of it, and he blinked, awareness flooding into his face. He stared at Vic's naked and obviously well pleasured body, horror mounting in his eyes. "No, oh no! What did I do?! God, I'm sorry, Vic! I never meant to..." he trailed off, sure Vic must be totally disgusted by him now.

Vic had a pretty good idea what Mac was thinking, based on his body language and what he'd said the previous night about selling himself for food after his father disappeared. Vic could see Mac sinking into depression, torturing himself.

Mac's attention was suddenly jolted back to his surroundings when Vic rolled on top of him. He stared into green eyes for a moment before Vic lowered his head to bite at his throat, sucking on the sensitive skin and marking him. Mac moaned, tilting his head back to give the other man better access. No one had ever cared enough about him to mark him as theirs before. The only marks he'd borne had been caused by uncaring lust or occasionally passion.

Vic pulled back to survey his brand on Mac, satisfied that he'd marked his territory. He continued his exploration of Mac's body, drawing the tip of his tongue around the circumference of Mac's nipples and occasionally flicking across them. When Mac was whimpering more or less constantly, Vic concentrated on one nipple, drawing it into his mouth to suck and nibble on his treat while he rolled the other between the thumb and forefinger of one hand. Even with Vic's weight on him, Mac arched off the bed.

Vic smiled and continued his game, occasionally switching from one nipple to the other. When he thought he'd teased Mac long enough, he continued working his way down his lover's body, leaving marks here and there from his love bites. Mac was pleading incoherently, and since Vic's goal was to pleasure him this time, he slid down to engulf Mac's cock. His reward was a long, hoarse groan of pleasure from the younger man. Vic sucked lightly, still teasing Mac, wanting to excite him more than he'd ever been.

"Vi-ic, please! Oh god!...Yes, so good...more....please," Mac moaned. He started to thrust harder into Vic's mouth, his first move for his own pleasure.

Vic was delighted, both at Mac's tiny sign of aggression and at hearing him call his name. He hadn't been completely sure that Mac knew who he was with. He pulled away, prompting a groan and a clutch at his head.

"Wait, love," he dropped a quick kiss on Mac's mouth, becoming even more aroused when he could taste a faint hint of himself there. "You'll like this."

Pushing up so that he knelt straddling Mac, Vic held his fingers to Mac's mouth until the younger man took them inside, sucking on them. When they were thoroughly wet, Vic gradually worked two fingers into his own ass while staring into Mac's eyes.

Mac had never seen anything as sexy as Victor kneeling over him, pleasuring himself while preparing his ass. His cock jumped at the sight, and he reached for Vic, wanting to touch him.

Vic smiled and distracted Mac by taking hold of his cock, stroking it and making sure to spread the pre-cum over it. Then he shifted forward so that Mac's erection was behind him, pressing against his ass. He gripped it firmly in one hand, still holding Mac's gaze with his own, and pressed down on it, forcing the head past the ring of muscle. He gasped at the burning sensation and froze, letting his body become accustomed to the presence within it. It had been a very long time since he'd had a male lover, and he'd almost forgotten how good it felt. He slowly slid down the rampant cock, forcing the entire length inside himself. They both groaned with pleasure when Mac was fully seated, as far inside Victor as he could get. Vic held him there for a moment, flexing his muscles to hear Mac's moan of pleasure. Finally, he began to move. Mac again reached for Vic's cock, wanting to please him, but Victor wanted this to be completely unlike those paid encounters with selfish men and women who didn't care whether Mac enjoyed it at all. He caught Mac's hands in his own, interlacing their fingers while he rode Mac. Even without touching his cock, he could feel himself approaching orgasm from the pleasure of Mac's cock in his ass. But he wasn't going to come till Mac did. He altered his movements, adding a bit of a twist. Mac's breath hitched, then he arched up into Vic, pumping his essence deep inside his lover while he cried Vic's name. Vic relaxed his rigid control then, slamming down onto Mac twice more, feeling his cock hit his prostate each time, and he came, covering them both with his semen.

Vic slumped over Mac, their bodies still joined, and gasped for air. He felt Mac's hands come up to stroke his back, and he raised his head to meet Mac's gaze.

"Thank you," Mac said simply.

"It was my pleasure."

"Not entirely," Mac replied with a ghost of his usual cocky grin.

Vic smiled back, carefully pulling off of Mac, prompting gasps from both of them when he did. He stretched out beside Mac, who immediately snuggled into his embrace. He thought absently that they really should clean up, but he fell asleep before he could move.

After the stress of the previous night, Vic and Mac were late getting started the next day. It was nearly noon when Vic woke up, finding Mac lying beside him, watching him. He smiled sleepily and pulled the younger man in for a kiss. When he finally released him, Mac looked a lot happier and more relaxed.

"About this morning..." Mac started.

"I don't have any regrets," Vic interrupted. "Unless you do?"

"No!" Mac was emphatic. "I didn't know it could be like that." He wouldn't meet Vic's eyes.

"But, Li Ann?"

Mac sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "I know now that I was never in love with her. I loved - love - her like a sister, and I wanted to be in love with her, but we were just comfortable together. Because we were both with the Tangs, I thought I could count on her always being there for me. It wasn't fair to dump that on her like I've done."

"But to answer your question, it was...nice...between us. Of course it was, we'd both been trained to give pleasure. But nothing more than that. And before that, it was always business and about my customer. And since joining the Agency, well, there haven't really been that many."

Vic didn't know what to say. Mac was essentially telling him that he'd never really had a lover. No wonder he'd been willing to marry that arms dealer after they had sex. "So what do you want to happen between us, Mac?"

Mac stared, unable to answer at first. No one had ever asked him that before. He was afraid to ask for what he wanted because it mattered too much.

Vic could see his confusion and fear and tried to make it easier for him. "I want to give us a try. I think we could be good together, but only if you want that too."

After an instant of frozen immobility, Mac threw himself on top of Victor, grabbing on tightly and kissing the chest beneath him.

Vic grinned and wrapped his arms around Mac. "I'll take that as a yes."


It was some time before they finally got up.

"It looks smaller than I remember." Mac was staring at the apartment building where he had lived as a child.

"You're a lot bigger than you were then," Vic pointed out. "But I thought you didn't remember it?"

"I don't. Not really. But it's familiar, now that I see it."

"Come on, let's see if any of the neighbors lived here then and know your family." Vic led the way inside.

Two hours later, they were both tired and frustrated. No one seemed to have lived there more than five or ten years. The two men had no idea what to try next. They sat down on a bench outside the building and tried to come up with an idea.

"You have your mother's eyes."

They jumped at the unexpected voice, turning to see a fortyish man looking at Mac.

"Excuse me?"

"You have her eyes. And you look a lot like her."

"You knew my mother?"

"Yes, my family used to live here. I come back sometimes to tend the tree my mother planted," nodding toward one nearby. "Your mother was my first crush when I was a boy, and like most boys, I didn't hide it very well. But she was always very kind to me. I ran into her once in London when I was at Oxford, and she remembered me-"

"You saw her after we left here? When?" Mac interrupted excitedly.

"Why, yes. It must have been around 82 or 83. I had gone up to London for the weekend to see a show, and I saw her in a pub. I remember how sad she looked. We talked for a few minutes, and I went to the show. I never saw her again."

"Thank you, oh thank you so much. You have no idea how much you've helped me." Mac shook his hand vigorously.

"I am pleased to have been of assistance. Please remember me to your parents."

While Mac was floundering for a reply, the man nodded politely and left.

Mac turned to Vic excitedly. "Now we know that she was still alive at least in 1982. And she was in London. I have to go try to find her trail."

"We." When Mac looked at him in confusion, Vic repeated, "We have to go to London."

Mac smiled and nodded, and they headed back to their hotel to make arrangements to leave for London the following day.


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