Carpe Rodney

By Orithain and Rina

January 2009

Disclaimers: We only wish they were ours. Sadly, this is as close as we’re going to get.

"Can I say that I hate decontamination showers?" Rodney McKay groused as he scrubbed himself under the stinging spray and tried to ignore the naked man behind him. "You would think a race as supposedly superior as the Alterans would have figured a better way of getting possibly hazardous materials off you than flaying your skin off!"

"But you’re ignoring the advantages, Rodney," John replied, grinning even though Rodney couldn’t see him.

"There are advantages to looking like a side of raw beef?"

"You’re a very sexy, naked side of raw beef."

Rodney sighed and shook his head, making a face as water rolled into his eyes. "Colonel, only you would get turned on by getting doused in potentially hazardous gook from a swamp and then having to stand under pounding water."

"You’re missing the key point," John said, still sounding amused. "I’m aroused by being naked with you."

"Two words back to you: security cameras."

"Are you telling me that Rodney McKay can’t find a way around that?"

"Of course I can find a way around them," Rodney sputtered, finally turning to face John and glowering when he saw the other man’s grin. "I was simply reminding you not to start anything until I took care of them!"

"So take care of ‘em. You know how distracted I get by your ass."

"I think it’s safe to say that everyone on Atlantis knows that." As he spoke, Rodney crossed over to a panel, popped it open to make a few adjustments, and closed it again. "All done."

"Good. ‘Cause it’s been hours since I could do this." John cupped Rodney’s ass in his palms, his fingers stroking the firm muscles, drawing a sigh from the other man’s throat.

"Mmm, yeah, Teyla hit your wrist last time you tried it in front of her."

"She has no sense of romance... or appreciation of the finer things in life."

"Which is probably a good thing for me, I don’t need you hurt in a brawl with her." Rodney grinned as he spoke and slid his arms around John’s waist to stroke his hands over his back.

"With you as the prize, I’d finally beat her though," John chuckled.

"Good thing, because I know she’d break me."

"As if I’d let her," John scoffed, pulling Rodney closer to nuzzle the side of his throat.

"Mmm, my hero," Rodney sighed as he tilted his head to the side, the movements of his hands on John’s back slowing and growing more languorous even as he pulled John closer so he could rock against him.

"Do I get a reward for that?" John murmured, his fingertips now gently gliding along the crease of Rodney’s ass.

"I turned off the cameras, didn’t I?"

"That’s true; you did. So I really should take advantage of it, shouldn’t I?" John turned his head to cover Rodney’s lips in a kiss that started soft and teasing and quickly deepened.

Rodney groaned as their tongues slid together, the feel of the edge of John’s teeth sending a shudder of pleasure through him and causing his hands to tighten on John’s back before sliding down to his ass.

"I want to fuck you," John breathed against Rodney’s lips in one of the pauses between kisses.

"Best idea you’ve had all day," was gasped back. "So do it."

"Crap, no lube in here," John groaned. "Well, I can work around that." He turned Rodney to face the wall and lowered himself to his knees to drag his tongue along Rodney’s crack.

"You say that every damn time we’re in here—which is why they started shoving us into one with just the two of us," Rodney pointed out before groaning and widening his stance even as he leaned forward against the wall, offering his ass for whatever John chose to do.

"Why do you think I kept mentioning it?" John retorted an instant before the tip of his tongue very lightly traced Rodney’s opening.

"Fine, I’ll—oh god—stow lube in the conduit for next time."

"Good idea. Not that I mind rimming you, but lube’s faster, and I really want to get inside you," John murmured, starting to press harder once he stopped talking.

"So just do it, already!" Rodney groaned.

"Not gonna hurt you," John rasped even as he surged back to his feet and leaned against Rodney. He positioned himself with one hand, and then he was pushing inside the scientist, slow torturous millimeter by millimeter as Rodney’s body slowly opened to him.

"Never," Rodney sighed before bracing his hands against the wall and shoving back as John pushed inward, filling himself with the other man.

"God, you feel so good," John groaned, one hand sliding over Rodney’s hip to curl around his cock, not jerking him yet, just holding him in his fist.

"Tease," Rodney panted, squirming and trying to get John to move.

"You say that like it’s a bad thing." John nibbled on the lobe of Rodney’s ear.

"It is when I don’t want to have a heart attack!"

"You know I’d never let that happen to you." John rocked his hips lazily.

"I don’t—oh fuck—know, you’re in a damn evil mood."

"And you love every second of it." John slid his fist up and down Rodney’s cock once before stilling again as Rodney whimpered, squirming between John and the wall, hoping to get more friction either on his cock or in his ass, or, better yet, both.

"You feel so good," John rasped, rewarding him by starting to move his hand. He rested his chin on Rodney’s shoulder so he could look down, watching what he was doing.

Rodney groaned in response, twisting in John’s grip, one hand reaching back to grip his thigh.

"I love how you respond to me," John whispered in Rodney’s ear, turning his head slightly to nip at a tender earlobe again, causing Rodney to gasp.

"And here I thought that you just like the decon showers."

"Naw, I like you. The showers are just a convenient excuse."

"Sweet-talker." Rodney groaned as John’s cock brushed his prostate.

"Mmm, and look what it gets me." John rocked his hips, biting back a groan of his own at the friction.

Rodney gasped and turned his head to catch John’s mouth in a hungry kiss, the motion of his tongue in the other man’s mouth mimicking the thrusting of his hips.

John speeded up, the movement of his hand matching the thrusting of his cock into Rodney, and he groaned into the kiss, the chemical smell of the decontamination shower fading to be replaced by the scent of sex as they moved together. Intent on Rodney, he never noticed when the jets stopped and they were bathed in mild radiation that served the dual purpose of a final decontamination and drying them off.

"John..." Rodney moaned, his body clenching down as he spasmed, his come splattering the wall in front of him.

John shuddered through Rodney’s climax, every ripple sending a bolt of pleasure through him. Only when Rodney was still and panting in his arms did he start moving faster, driving into the pliant body until he reached his own climax with a shout. "Rodney!"

Rodney leaned against the wall in front of him, conscious of John’s weight against his back and the stillness of the room around them, and finally he chuckled.

"I’m probably going to regret asking," John murmured, "but what’s so funny?"

"We need another shower," Rodney laughed, and John started to laugh too, the sound filling the room.

"That makes this a very good shower."

"Yeah, but I’d like my next one not to feel like it was scraping my skin off."

"So let’s get dressed and get back to our quarters for that one," John suggested.

"Go see if they left us anything," Rodney ordered as he turned, kissing John to take some of the sting out of his order.

"Have I mentioned lately that you’re bossy?" John said as he made his way to the outer room to retrieve the scrubs waiting for them.

"Yup," Rodney replied cheerfully, "And as I recall, right after that, you said you loved it and came."

"Good point. Keep being bossy." John returned wearing one set of scrubs and carrying the other.

"Good answer," Rodney grinned, kissing John, then taking the towel that had been included in the pile and cleaning himself up before getting dressed.

"Considering that you’d do that regardless, it’s a good thing I like it," John said wryly, watching Rodney dress with every evidence of enjoyment.

"Less chatting, more dressing, Colonel," Rodney commented, grinning. "We need to get food before we go get that shower."

"I think you love food more than me sometimes," John accused laughingly, and Rodney’s expression turned slightly hurt.

"I do not!"

John pulled him into a hug. "It was a joke, Rodney."

"I know, sorry," Rodney sighed, hugging him back. "So let’s go grab that food, hmmm?"

"Yeah, we need to get you fueled up so that you can make me scream back in our room."

"I’ll be extra bossy," Rodney promised.

"Keep it up and dinner’s going to be very fast," John chuckled, the faint shudder proving that he wasn’t entirely joking.

"I figured we’d get it to go."

"You really are a genius."

Rodney chuckled as he stepped into the paper slippers and headed over to the wall to reset the crystals. "I’ll remind you of that next time you complain about me!"

"Hey, no using my own words against me out of context!" John protested, following Rodney to the exit.


"Because you have enough of your own."

Rodney chuckled at that as the wall slid open to let them out. "Then I’d better use my mouth in other ways, hadn’t I?"

John chuckled as well. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh isn’t able... yet."

"Which is why we’re getting food," Rodney explained as if to a six-year-old.

"Which we’ll take back to our room and eventually get to those other uses."

"Damn right." As they headed for the main area door, Rodney brushed past the med tech who had been monitoring the cycle and hit the controls for it to start again. "What? It needed it," he said, glowering at the younger man.

"Yes, sir," the tech said, biting back a smirk, something that became easier when he saw the identical glares Dr. McKay and Col. Sheppard were giving him.

Rodney held his expression until he turned, then it dropped away to a smile as he looped an arm around John’s waist, and they headed for the door, their food, and what the rest of the evening held.




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