Notes: Much belated response to Huntressí challenge back in December about the SGC soldiers verbally putting down the Atlantis geeks in a bar back on Earth.

Three Geeks Walk Into a Bar...

Orithain and Rina

August 2006

Disclaimers: We only wish they were ours. Sadly, this is as close as weíre going to get.

John Sheppard walked out of the briefing room at the SGC, shaking his head and wondering why heíd ever agreed to accompany Rodney on this little head-hunting trip of his. And that was what it was, which was why Elizabeth had very happily stayed back on Atlantis and left Rodneyís safe return to John.

"Keep anyone from killing him, John. Some of the scientists he wants are already in sensitive positions in their own countries, and Rodney has a habit of riding roughshod over other peopleís interests."

ĎSensitive positionsí?! John snorted. Neither Rodney nor Elizabeth had deigned to mention that one of the scientists in question was the much-beloved only daughter of an African warlord! John had just had the dubious pleasure of sitting through a meeting involving Gen. Landry telling Rodney why he couldnít have what he wanted... with the obvious results.

He looked over his shoulder at the smugly smirking scientist. "If you start a war, Iím really going to hate you. And I need a drink. Letís go round up the others and go enjoy a real Earth bar while weíre here."

"Are you sure I wonít start a riot there?" Rodney sniffed, wanting to glare at John over the comment but too smug over his coup to be annoyed with the colonel.

"Since I doubt youíre planning to steal any of the waitresses away, I think we should be safe."

"Considering theyíre more than likely peroxided bimbos, no, thank you." Rodneyís nose wrinkled at the thought.

"How was Siberia, Rodney?" Sam Carter asked sweetly from behind him, making John swallow a snicker.

Rodney turned his glower on her. "Oh, thatís quite amusing, and what would you call a bottle-blonde who worked in a bar?"

"A woman doing her job to make ends meet." Sam shrugged. "Or do you think youíd survive without all the non-scientists of the universe?"

"Of course, though the opposite certainly isnít true."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I somehow never saw you as being able to grow, harvest and prepare your own food, but I suppose you could surprise me. Now if youíll excuse me, I have a mission." She slipped around them and headed toward the locker room to get her gear, leaving John shaking his head at Rodney.

"Yeah, I really see a deathless romance there, Rodney."

"Itís called flirting, Colonel; you should recognize it as you do it enough."

John stared at him. "Rodney, I flirt more with you than Col. Carter does."

Rodney stared back, for a moment silent, then shook his head and chuckled. "You flirt with anything that breathes."

"I have standards!"

"Colonel, Iíve seen you flirt with foliage!"

"I have not! I stick to my own species! At least what I think is my species," he amended, remembering a certain Ancient.

Rodney only sniffed disdainfully.

"Oh, come on, letís round up our group and go get that drink," John said, not wanting to get into that discussion. He never won.

"I didnít realize this would be grunt central when we agreed to this," Rodney murmured as he, Radek and Tim Parrish crowded around a table, eyeing the roomful of drunk and rowdy off-duty soldiers.

Lorne and Sheppard exchanged glances before John said, "Neither did I, actually." Both officers sat down where they could see the rest of the room, and after a moment Laura Cadman did as well, leaving the seats opposite them for the three scientists.

"I wasnít commenting on you threeó" Rodney began.

"I am sure they know this, Rodney; now sit," Radek ordered as he did just that.

Parrish sat down as well, next to the major, leaving Rodney the only one still standing and all five of them looking at him.

"Well, I wasnít!" Rodney huffed, dropping into the seat between John and Radek and shaking his head.

Cadman chuckled and leaned over to pat his arm. "We know, Rodney, but itís fun to watch you sputter."

"It keeps me going on long missions," John agreed with a grin.

"Gee, and Tim just thinks up plant names on ours," Lorne pouted.

Parrish glared at him. "Shut up, Evan, or Iíll think of names for you!"

"Evan, is it?" Rodney asked Radek with an amused smile.

"It seems that way." Radek eyed their fellow scientist curiously, and Parrish scowled back.

"That is his name!"

"Well, you donít see me calling the colonel ĎJohní, do you?"

"And why is that?" John wanted to know. "You call Teyla and Ronon by their first names."

Rodney looked at him strangely. "I donít know; neither of them call you John either, you know."

"Teyla does. Sometimes. As often as she calls you Rodney. And I call you Rodney."

"So I should call you Rodney?"

"Perhaps we should have a drink," Radek suggested.

"I think I need one," John sighed, and both of the other officers nodded vigorously.

"Weíll get this round," Rodney announced, Radek and Tim nodding in agreement.

"Trying to get us drunk?" Laura teased.

"Which would mean we would have to carry you out to the car," Radek mused.

"Iím not throwing my back out doing that!" Rodney exclaimed, even as he waved at the waitress.

"I thought youíd just take advantage of us right here," John snorted.

"Excuse me?" Rodney asked.

"Guess not, sir," Lorne said. "Better luck next time."

"We need drinks, lots and lots of drinks," Rodney informed the waitress.

"And perhaps some food as well," Radek suggested.

"Beer and wings good for everyone?" Laura asked.

"Sure, if you throw in some fries," John said.

Parrish leaned in. "Hot good for everyone?"

Rodney started to comment, then glowered at Radek when the other man kicked him in the shin.

"Weíll get you extra water," John offered soothingly.

"Milk or bread are better," Lorne offered.

Radek nodded. "This is true."

"See, weíre all looking out for you," John said cheerfully while Laura snickered into her beer.

"Why?" Rodney moaned.

"Because you cannot look out for yourself," Radek said gleefully.

"Dr. Z," Laura chuckled, "you might want to remember that Rodney spends a lot of time... away from home. He knows how to handle a gun."

"Ahh, but he does not have one here, does he?"

"Iíll find one!" Rodney growled.

"Try to restrain your homicidal impulses," John chuckled. "I can suggest more interesting ways to go astray if youíre turning over a new leaf."

"And donít you go talking about different kinds of leaves he could turn over," Lorne laughed, pointing a finger at Dr. Parrish.

"Fig," Tim retorted, smirking, while all three soldiers groaned and Dr. Zelenka threw a tortilla chip at him.

"For that, you can buy the next round, Dr. Parrish!" Rodney ordered.

"It was worth it," Parrish said with a chuckle. "Who knew soldiers could be such prudes?"

That statement produced a rash of very vocal denials from the soldiers at the table while Rodney and Radek sat there and grinned.

"I thought I recognized that annoying voice." A Marine sergeant stood up nearby, glaring at Rodney. "Didnít anyone get rid of you yet?"

Lorne, Cadman and Sheppard all stiffened, suddenly cold eyes cutting toward the Marine, who ignored them. None of them were in uniform, so he assumed they were more scientists.

"Iím the proverbial bad penny; I just keep turning up," Rodney answered snidely without turning to look at the other man.

"Donít you have somewhere else to be?" John suggested, narrowed hazel gaze intent on the soldier who had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Nope, but I think all of you do," the hulking Marine answered. "Well, except for Red there, she can stay."

One dark eyebrow rose. "So youíre saying that weíre not welcome here, Sergeant?"

"We donít like geeks," the Marine sneered.

"Thatís Col. Geek to you, Sergeant," John barked, suddenly snapping upright.

"Sure it is. Like youíre a Marine."

"Actually, Col. Sheppardís Air Force, but Lt. Cadman and I are Marines," Lorne growled as the two of them rose to their feet as well.

"Youíre doing well, Sergeant," Cadman said with mock friendliness. "Youíve pissed off a colonel, a major and a lieutenant. Iím sure we could find a captain and general too if you want to make a clean sweep."

"And Iím sure these Ďgeeksí could find a few ways to make your life miserable as well," Rodney snapped.

"Really good going, Sergeant," John observed lazily. "Youíve managed to piss off three officersónot good; a botanistódo you have any idea how many things he knows that youíre going to be allergic to? Even worse! And not one but two scarily brilliant physicists who play with nuclear weapons for fun and make a habit of defeating entire races. Kiss your ass goodbye!"

"And I wonder if Gen. Landry has any idea of how the people in his command feel about the people that keep the program running," Rodney commented.

"I do not think he will like it," Radek added.

"Like the general would listen to a bunch of pansies," the sergeant sneered, ignoring his friends, who were starting to look uneasy and trying to pull him away.

John and Evan Lorne looked at each other in disbelief. "Pansies?" But it was Laura Cadman who stood up and punched the sergeant.

That punch was the beginning of a cascade reaction that ended up with the Atlantis team at the center of a brawl involving a good portion of the off-duty soldiers in the bar.

"Why does it always get physical?" Rodney asked, ducking one punch and managing to hit a soldier who was holding Lorneís arms behind his back.

Lorne shrugged. "Itís easier. And theyíll understand what weíre telling them. Especially when you clock a guy like that," he added, sounding impressed.

"They arenít much compared to the Wraith!" Radek exclaimed, ducking before snarling when one of the soldiers tried to grab Cadman in a headlock.

Lorne and Sheppard, whoíd both seen Zelenkaís reaction to being off planet, exchanged laughing glances.

"Radek, honey, thatís very sweet, but I can protect myself," Laura told him, ducking and kicking the other soldierís feet out from under him.

"Radek honey?" Rodney asked incredulously.

Parrish nodded before ducking a punch. "Thatís what I heard."

"Some of us prefer not to waste our lives and actually go after what we want," Radek said smugly.

"You and Cadman?" Rodney asked, wide-eyed both from shock and from getting punched in the stomach during his distraction.

Radek smirked. "Laura is a beautiful, intelligent woman. Who wouldnít want her? And unlike you two, who seem content to admire your soldiers from afar, I get to have her in my bed."

Both Rodney and Tim had to goggle at Radek for that, which ended up with both of them getting hit in the face, much to the anger of Ďtheirí soldiers, who proceeded to pound the attackers into the floor.

That seemed to be the beginning of the end, and the fight gradually tapered off with the group from Atlantis the clear winners, at least in that they were still there and no one was bothering them. People righted chairs and tables and returned to their seats, yelling for new drinks, and the bartender shook his head, clearly accustomed to this sort of thing. He hadnít even bothered calling the cops, knowing from experience that the fight would be hard and fast and then everything would go back to normal. And the combatants would each leave twenty bucks in the jar by the door on their way out, covering any damages.

The Atlanteans sat back down at their table, briefly mourning the loss of their beer until another pitcher arrived, and then John and Evan eyed their respective team mates. "So whatís this about admiring from afar?" John asked, proving that heíd still been paying attention despite his own battles, and Lorne made a similarly interrogative noise, eyebrows raised as he looked at Parrish.

"P-pardon me?" Rodney stammered, his eyes widening, ignoring the way Radek snickered even as he scooted his chair closer to Cadmanís.

The hazel eyes pinned him to his seat. "Zelenka seems to think that he and Cadman arenít the only potential military-scientific pair at this table. Care to elaborate?"

Rodney winced and shifted in his chair, looking away before turning his gaze back toward John. "Dr. Zelenka would be correct in that hypothesis," he said stiffly."

"Do you really think I let anyone name new species?" Tim sighed to Lorne.

"Oh, thank God," John breathed. "And what a hell of a place to finally have this conversation, when we canít do anything about it," he grumbled.

"Tell me about it!" Evan agreed fervently, trying not to stare hungrily at Parrish.

"Well, you could have said something!" Rodney hissed.

"So could you!" John glared. "Military here!" He ignored the virtually identical conversation happening between Lorne and Parrish.

"We need popcorn," Radek murmured to Laura.

"Just goes to show you that Rodneyís not the smartest one at the table," she laughed before leaning in to give him a kiss.

"That is so unfair," Lorne grumbled. "If I did that, there would be a riot."

"There is a cheap motel next door," Parrish offered.

"Get two rooms!" John ordered.

"Three!" Radek corrected.

Lorne tossed some money on the table to cover the beer they hadnít drunk and stood up.

"Oh my god, Iím in a bad movie!" Rodney groaned although he was moving as quickly as the others.

Laura chuckled and slid her arm around Radekís waist, leaning into him as he returned the gesture. "Yeah, but I bet the endingíll be great."

"I can guarantee it," John promised, holding the door open to let the others out. "Move, people; we have someplace to be."

"And some people to do," Parrish called back from up ahead of them.

Johnís grin widened as quickly as Lorneís. "Damn right," both officers chorused while Radek and Laura walked along, smiling at each other.

"Are you sure that place is legal?" Rodney asked as he followed the others. "It looks very illicit to me; I bet they donít even change the sheets between clients."

John snorted. "Why not stop worrying about that and concentrate on what youíre going to do once you have me alone?"

"Ió" Rodney began before shutting his mouth and nodding sharply. "Yes, youíre right."

Unable to resist, John smirked. "Of course I am."

"And thatís our cue to get out of here before the explosion," Evan muttered to Tim. "Letís get that room."

"Youíre on your own with this one, Rodney," Laura called as she and Radek followed the other two into the office.

"I donít need your help, Cadman!" he shouted after her before glaring at John. "And I donít need that look either."

"Me? Look? No look here." John grinned. "How Ďbout we go get that room so we can talk about this in private?" He nudged Rodney to follow Laura and Radek to check in.

Rodney snorted but nodded. "After you, ColóJohn."

"You just want to stare at my ass," John accused before walking inside the motel rental office.

"And do you have a problem with this?" Rodney muttered as first Lorne and Parrish, then Radek and Laura got their keys from the desk person.

"Actually, Iím pretty glad about it." John held up the key before slowly pacing toward Rodney. "Last chance. We have two days leave, and spending them in bed sounds good to me."

"If weíre going to spend two days together in bed, Iíd much rather be somewhere comfortable rather than the roach motel here."

"So how Ďbout we have the appetizer here and then go someplace with room service, like the hotel weíre already staying at, for the rest of our leave?"

Rodneyís eyebrows rose. "Do you see me arguing?"

"That may be a first, but Iím going to enjoy it. And you."

"Not until you get the room, you arenít."

John jingled the key he was still holding up. "Then we need to get ourselves into it so we can discuss whoís getting into who first."

Rodney caught the key so that he could see the number on the fob and started to walk in that direction. "And who gets to disinfect the sheets!" he called back laughingly.

"I promise to wash you very thoroughly once we get somewhere else," John chuckled, leering comically.

"Hrmm, Iím looking forward to it, and I just realized that, in the absence of lube, we may just be putting out mouths where our money is, so to speak."

John frowned. "Good point. At least it ensures that we wonít be tempted to stay long. Iíve been dreaming about this too long to give up anything."

Rodney reached the door and turned to look back at John, smiling slightly even though he wrinkled his nose at the bugs flying around the light outside. "Iíll have to agree with that; this will take the edge off, and then we can go where we donít have to worry about things crawling over us."

"Yeah, the only crawling over you is going to be me." John unlocked the room, and they both peered inside. "Hey, itís not too bad inside," John said, surprised.

"They must put the money into the interior," Rodney commented as he stepped inside, still looking as if he was waiting for a giant bug to jump out at himóor more possibly at John.

"Hey, if Iím not worrying about bugs, you shouldnít be," John chuckled after shutting and locking the door behind them.

"Maybe Iím worried about the fact that if there are bugs, theyíre going to jump you, and Iíd rather be the one to do that." As he spoke, Rodney turned around and closed the distance between the two of them to pull John in for a kiss.

"Please, jump away," John murmured against Rodneyís lips. He slid his arms around Rodney, his hands moving down to cup the round ass and draw him closer.

"I did, didnít you notice?" Rodney murmured, deepening the kiss before wincing. "Ow."

"Ow? Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for."

"Normally not the reaction I give, but considering one of those cretins plowed his fist into my mouth earlier, itís understandable." Rodney ran his tongue over his swollen lip. "But that doesnít mean I want you to stop."

"Thatís going to make blowjobs pretty uncomfortable," John said before leaning in to lick Rodneyís lip as well.

"Iíll manage to persevere," Rodney whispered before sucking Johnís tongue into his mouth and pulling him closer.

"Iíll have to reward your bravery," John moaned, rocking against him.

"Naked rewards would be better." As he spoke, he worked a hand under Johnís shirt and up his back.

"Good plan." John nibbled and sucked at Rodneyís throat while unbuttoning the other manís shirt.

Rodney shivered when Johnís hands slid under the cotton and over his chest, and he pulled back to shrug out of his shirt, then grab for Johnís, leaving his hair even more messy than usual as it came off over his head. Johnís eyes darkened, and he ran his hands over Rodneyís bare chest, fingers teasing the erect nipples.

"This needs to move to the bed," Rodney rasped, hooking his fingers in the waistband of Johnís jeans and tugging as he walked backwards.

"An even better plan." John reached for the waist of Rodneyís pants, unfastening them as they made their slow way to the bed.

"Of course it is, itís my plan," Rodney chuckled before reciprocating, undoing Johnís jeans and letting them slide low on his hips.

"Have I mentioned how hot I think it is when you get all superior?" John said, eyes warm with amused affection. He thrust forward into Rodneyís hand, gasping at the touch on his hardening cock, even through his boxer-briefs.

Rodney groaned and his hips twitched as his own pants slid to the floor before he leaned in, trapping both their hands between their bodies. "Iíll try to do it more often, then."

Johnís eyes widened in horror. "You donít need to tell anyone youíre doing it for me," he said with an undertone of desperation. If anyone found out he was responsible for Rodney getting even more arrogant, there would be a mass uprising leading to his slow and painful demise.

Rodney had to chuckle at that even as he slid his hand inside Johnís boxer briefs to stroke his erection. "Donít worry, Colonel. Iíll keep you safe."

"And hard, it seems," John laughed breathlessly. "Itís going to make briefings interesting."

"If itís any consolation, Iíll be the same way," Rodney gasped.

"Thatís just going to make me even harder!"

"Elizabethís going to be surprised at how short her meetings get."

"Or how often one of us drops our pen."

"And how long it takes us to pick them up."

"Great, now pens are going to make me hard too."

"Well, if itís any consolation, watching you play with your guns always does it for me, and are we going to stop talking and start with the frottage or blowing or whatever we planned on doing before moving to more comfortable accommodations?"

With both of them finally naked, John tumbled Rodney onto the bed and kissed him before saying, "Sixty-nineís my favorite number," and turning around.

Rodney snickered before leaning in to lick a stripe up Johnís cock. "Why does this not surprise me?"

"Because youíre a genius." John inhaled sharply, then copied Rodneyís move.

"Exóohóexactly." Rodney gave up talking and concentrated on Johnís shaft, closing his lips over the flared head and sucking lightly while his hands cupped Johnís ass, pulling him closer.

Again, John copied what Rodney did, but then he made the next move by letting his hands slide over Rodneyís ass, his fingertips feathering over the sensitive crevice between the rounded cheeks. The touch made Rodney moan, and he took Johnís cock deeper into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hard flesh even as he pushed back against Johnís hands.

Johnís moan vibrated around Rodneyís cock at the same moment that the tip of one finger pushed inside the scientist, teasing him with the promise of what was to come, and this time it was Rodneyís turn to copy John, licking his finger before pressing it against the tight entrance to his body.

A soft whimper escaped one of them, neither was sure whom, and they continued sucking and finger-fucking each other until John suddenly tensed and gasped as he came.

Rodney swallowed down the spurts of liquid, suckling on Johnís cock until a stab at his own prostate had him groaning and coming as well.

Once heíd caught his breath, John twisted around so that they were face to face and kissed Rodney, each of them tasting himself in the otherís mouth. "Weíre definitely spending this leave in bed, once we get back to our hotel."

"Room service is our friend," Rodney murmured, stroking his hands over Johnís back and breathing a sigh of contentment at the way they fit together.

"Definitely. We can take turns getting up for it." John nuzzled Rodneyís cheek, reveling in the freedom to touch him however he wanted.

"Of course, to implement these plans, we need to get up from here," Rodney chuckled.

"But that involves moving," John groaned.

"Which will lead to more moving later on."

John thought about that. "Good point. But moving still isnít my idea of fun." He reluctantly sat up, his hand resting on Rodneyís shoulder.

Rodney leaned into the touch and smiled. "Mine either, but doing it gets us to where we donít have to move, plus we can bang on Radekís door on the way out."

"You do realize Cadmanís probably armed, right?" John laughed.

"No, she isnít," Rodney replied smugly. "If she was, she would have pulled it in the bar."

"I donít think any of us wanted to turn a fistfight into a gunfight," John exclaimed, looking horrified. "Just behave and concentrate on me. Forget Radek."


"Iíll let you play with me instead."

Rodney quirked a grin at that. "That I can live with, but we need to get out of here and to a real hotel!"

"Yeah, a shower would be good, but thereís no way Iím taking one here." John stood up and stretched, then offered a hand to Rodney. "Letís get going."

"Clothes might be good as well," Rodney chuckled as he took Johnís hand and stood, stroking his free palm over Johnís chest.

"Well yes. I wasnít planning to walk out of here naked," John snorted. "I was just trying to get you on your feet."

"And your plan worked very well, so letís get dressed and get out of here!"

"Yes sir!" John snapped off a salute before grabbing his pants and pulling them on.

Rodney snickered as he got dressed as well, sitting down on the bed to pull his shoes on. "So you can follow orders."

"When I like them." John grinned before shrugging into his shirt and buttoning it up over his dog tags.

"Iíll remember that." Rodney stood again, bouncing on the balls of his feet and rubbing his hands together with anticipation.

"A little eager there, McKay?" John chuckled. He glanced around to make sure they werenít forgetting anything, then started toward the door. "Letís go somewhere we actually want to stay."

Rodney followed hot on Johnís heels as they crossed the parking lot to the SUV theyíd driven over from Cheyenne Mountain. "I hope they have enough for cab fare," he commented as they climbed in.

"If not, Atlantis wonít be far enough for us to run," John chuckled.

"Iím trusting you to save my life, Colonel!"

"Considering that weíre just getting started, I can guarantee it."

Rodney grinned and reached over to pat Johnís thigh. "I like that answer."

"Glad to hear it. This works a lot better when weíre both participating."

"Thank you for that information, I never would have guessed."

"And you call yourself a genius."

"Snideness will not get you in my pants," Rodney sniffed.

"No, but Iíll bet licking your nipples will."

Rodney froze and sucked in a breath before swallowing and licking his lips.

"Thought so," John said smugly.

"Idiot," Rodney grumbled.

"And insults wonít get my mouth on you."

"I was hoping for other parts the next time around."

"I think your chances are pretty good," John chuckled. Rather than speeding up as he usually did at a yellow light, he slowed to a stop and leaned over to kiss Rodney.

"Oh good," Rodney murmured against his mouth, "Iíd hate to think that youíre a tease."

"No, that would give me a bad reputation." John nipped gently at Rodneyís lower lip before sitting up and facing forward just in time to drive away as the light turned green.

"As opposed to the one you have now."

"Which is not for being a cocktease!"

Rodney thought about the statement for a moment, then nodded. "Hrmmm, you do have a point, Colonel."

"Mensa," John chuckled, knowing how much it irritated Rodney.

"If you arenít a member, you canít cite it," Rodney sniffed.

"But I passed the test," John pointed out.

"But you didnít join."

"Which I think makes me even smarter!"

Rodney sighed and leaned back against the car seat. "You amaze me, Colonel."

"Thatís because Iím a really amazing guy." John pulled into the underground parking at their hotel. "And I plan to show you just how amazing I can really be."

Rodneyís lips quirked into a crooked grin at that. "Iím looking forward to that, and to showing you just how creative I can be."

Imagining that intent focus heíd so often seen aimed at him, John shivered. "I think we need a longer leave."

"As appealing as that is, Iím looking forward to going back home."

"Good point. And itís not like we wonít be able to keep doing this once weíre back."

"Just not on the trip back." 

"Which sucks. But itíll still be better than a Wraith virus, and weíll have something to look forward to."

"My browbeating the new staff?" 

"Keep it up and thatís all youíll have to look forward to," John retorted, chuckling.

"If I believed that, I might be worried."

"Not very believable, huh? I guess Iíll have to find a better way to distract you if I want you to believe things like that."

Rodney quirked a crooked grin. "Why do I think that youíre going to be an expert at distracting me?"

"Because Iím already planning ways to drag you out of the lab?"

Rodney gave half-hearted groan. "The city is going to sink again!"

"Only if it goes down when I do."

"Oh, god, that was horrible!"

"I thought I was pretty good at it."

"Iím not arguing the fact, just the pun."

"I guess youíll have to distract me too then."

Rodney sighed, trying to sound aggrieved. "In the interests of keeping the city safe, I suppose I will. And, not to sound cliched, but my room or yours?"

"Mineís closer."

"Then yours it is." Rodney waited until John had parked, then climbed out of the car.

"If we want variety, we can try yours tomorrow." John grinned as they made their way to the elevator, his gaze warm.

Rodneyís grin was crooked but genuine. "Are you saying Iím going to be able to walk tomorrow?"

"Good point. I hope you like my room." If it was possible, Johnís grin widened.

When the doors closed behind them, Rodney caught Johnís t-shirt in his hands and pulled him in for a kiss. "I doubt Iíll even notice it."

"Iíll do my best to live up to expectations." John pulled Rodney closer, only letting go when the elevator stopped at their floor.

"I hope you have your key card, because I doubt these doors are going to be impressed with your gene," Rodney chuckled as they reluctantly moved apart to walk down the hall.

"Yet another reason Iíll be glad to get back home. That and weíll be able to figure something out to be together. I know Elizabethíll be on our side." John got his key out and swore at the door as it took a couple of tries to get it open.

"Anyone who isnít on our side is going to get sewage showers."

"That is truly disgusting. And very impressive."

"Why thank you, Colonel; I do try."

"You succeed." As soon as they were inside, John hung the Ďdo not disturbí sign on the handle, bolted the door, and slammed Rodney against the wall, nearly devouring his mouth.

Rodney moaned into the kiss, hooking a leg around Johnís thigh and pulling them closer together, grinding his body against Johnís. John groaned his approval and cupped Rodneyís ass, gasping as their cocks rubbed together.

"God, John, I want you to fuck me," Rodney whispered before sucking at Johnís earlobe.

"God yes." John backed toward the bed, drawing Rodney with him. "Oh fuck, the rubbers. Hang on." He nearly ran to the bathroom and wrenched his kit open, returning moments later with the condoms.

In a supreme moment of trust, Rodney shook his head. "We donít need those."

John stilled, staring at Rodney, and then he dropped the strip on the floor and pulled Rodney into another kiss.

"What?" Rodney asked, his face flushed, once he could speak again.

"Youíre incredible." One palm cupped Rodneyís cheek as John brushed a light kiss over his lips. "Thank God we finally stopped wasting time."

Rodney nodded, rubbing his face against Johnís hand before turning and kissing the warm palm. John smiled faintly, letting the moment extend before he toppled Rodney onto the bed and crawled on top of him.

"We still have our clothes on," Rodney laughed.

"Yes, I did notice that. One step at a time." John rolled his hips.

Rodney moaned in answer and slid his hands under Johnís shirt, making him arch his back and press into Rodneyís touch. "Oh yeah, touch me," John groaned, his own hands tugging at Rodneyís shirt.

"I am," Rodney muttered as he squirmed under Johnís weight, trying to get both of them more naked than they were.

John sat up and made short work of his clothes, then turned back to Rodney to find that heíd been just as quick. "Oh yeah," he breathed, his eyes running over Rodneyís naked body.

"Lube?" Rodney asked, crawling back to the center of the bed.

"Nightstand." John pulled the drawer open and withdrew the bottle. "Thisíll be much better use of it than jerking off."

"Is that how you spent your time here?" Rodney chuckled as he sprawled on his back.

"Well, it was that or watch hockey." John squeezed the slick gel onto his hand, then reached down to trace the cleft between Rodneyís buttocks, grinning when Rodney raised himself slightly so John could reach more of him.

"Hockey?" Rodneyís voice broke as John pressed a finger against his ass.

"Not my thing." John watched as Rodneyís body yielded to the pressure and greedily sucked him inside, and he groaned as he imagined that tight heat on his cock.

"Hrmmm, weíll have to have a talk about this," Rodney murmured as he arched upward, gasping when Johnís finger rubbed against his prostate.

"Score!" John licked at an already hard nipple.

"Not yet you havenít."

John crooked his finger again. "Iím setting up my shot."

"IóIím not even trying to block that goal."

"I think the goalieís playing for my team." John added a second finger.

"Thatís because he knows whatís in itóoh fuckófor him."

"Whatís in it, huh? Thatíd be me." John positioned himself and pressed forward, groaning as he slowly sank into Rodneyís ass, drawing a low, throaty moan from him as he wrapped his arms around Johnís body.

"Oh fuck, why did we wait so long?" John stilled when he couldnít go any farther, and he closed his eyes, concentrating on the sensations.

"I am not answering that question again!"

John laughed shakily. "It was rhetorical. And we are going to do this till we canít walk," he vowed.

"The SGC may wonder about all of us, but I donít care."

"No, this is worth it." John slowly rocked in and out of Rodney, panting with each thrust.

Rodney nodded, stroking his hands over Johnís back as he arched up, each stroke rubbing his cock against Johnís stomach and leaving trails of precome in its wake.

"You feel so fucking good," John rasped, a thumb flicking one rigid nipple. "So perfect."

"Of course I am, and so are you."

John chuckled. "No one else deserves us."

In answer, Rodney rocked upward, tightening down around Johnís cock and gasping as it rubbed against his prostate. John moaned, increasing the speed of his thrusts, and he caught hold of one of Rodneyís hands, lacing their fingers together.

"John..." Rodney whispered, staring up into the other manís eyes as he came, his fingers clenching down on Johnís as Rodney convulsed under him. The spasms triggered Johnís climax, pushing him over the edge after only a few more strokes. He wailed Rodneyís name before muffling the cry against the scientistís shoulder. As the last ripple of pleasure ebbed, John slumped down on top of the other man, breathing heavily.

"Donít you dare move."

John chuckled breathlessly. "I donít think I can."

Rodney smiled against Johnís throat before nuzzling the warm, sweaty flesh there. "Good."

"At least we know Cadman will be distracting Radek so he wonít be knocking on the door just to be annoying."

"And Parrish will be on Lorne so he doesnít do the same."

"Oh thank you, now Iím going to picture that every time I look at Lorne!" John groaned.

"And I have to picture Radek doing Cadman, who was in my head!"

"At least Cadmanís hot!"

"She was in my head, John; thatís too close to masturbation for comfort!"

Trying not to laugh, John kissed him. "So stick to thinking about me instead."

"That... is a much better idea, Colonel," Rodney chuckled, grinning.

"Iím so glad you approve. I know similar thoughts are going to make briefings a lot more interesting for me."

"I think weíve already discussed how distracting those are going to be."

"True, but itís a mental image worth repeating at every opportunity."

"Hrmm, good point." Rodney kissed him again.

"Of course, reality is a lot better," John said when he could speak again.

"Another good point." Rodney grinned and repeated the reward.

"You really wonít be able to walk tomorrow if you get me hard again while Iím still in you," John pointed out a little breathlessly.

"Are we going anywhere?"

"Yet another good point." John pressed his hips against Rodney, groaning as he felt himself stir.

Rodney smirked and tightened down around him. "Iím full of them."

"Thatís not all youíre full of," John snickered.

"Not quite full yet, but I have faith in you, Colonel."

"Iíll try to live up to your expectations."

"You surpass then, John. You surpass them."

"Likewise," John said softly, lowering his head to kiss Rodney tenderly.

About to make a sarcastic comeback, Rodney was distracted by the kiss and put all his energy into it, laving and sucking on Johnís tongue before following it back into his mouth, making John groan and rock against him.

One of Johnís hands slid between them, and he smiled when he found Rodneyís stirring cock. Rodney gasped, arching up into the knowing touch, groaning into Johnís mouth.

"Mine," John breathed against Rodneyís lips, his other hand sliding under Rodney as he rose, his fingertips lightly stroking the sensitive flesh straining around his growing erection.

"Remember that the next time a space slut comes on to you," Rodney growled, his hands tightening on Johnís back.

"Iíll run and hide behind you," John promised.

"Very good answer." To prove that, Rodney kissed him again.

"Besides, itís a moot point since weíre never going to leave this bed again," John chuckled.

"That might make it hard to get back to Atlantis," Rodney chuckled. "Even I might have a problem making a ZPM and gate from the things in this room."

"Weíll call Ronon to come and get us, bed and all," John laughed.

"Mmm, that would work as long as he doesnít see your naked ass."

"Youíre nuts!" John was shaking with laughter, his hazel eyes sparkling. "I really donít think he has the slightest interest in my ass."

"Thatís because you havenít seen him watching it, though he watches Teylaís the same way; if I wasnít so secure, Iíd feel hurt that he didnít watch me the same way."

"Be glad he doesnít," John growled. "íCause if he did, Iíd have to shoot him, and we donít want to have to find another fourth team member who fits with us."

"No shooting the man-mountain," Rodney soothed, stroking his hands down Johnís back to cup his ass.

"One of these days youíre going to say that when heís in a bad mood, and heís going to try to squash you like a fly; you know that, right?"

Rodney smiled smugly. "Youíll protect me."

John laughed wryly. "And youíre going to take advantage of that, arenít you?"

"Genius here, what do you think?"

"Genius here too," John reminded him. "I donít think; I know."

"Then why did you ask?"

John shrugged, which made for some interesting vibrations since he was fully hard inside Rodney again. "Just making conversation," he said, trying not to laugh at Rodneyís expression.

Rodney took a deep breath that he told himself wasnít a gasp and tried to scowl up at John.

"You donít want me to talk to you?" John tried for a hurt tone.

"Donít try that little boy pouting with me!"

The pout deepened, and now the puppy dog eyes were added.

"I am not one of your bimbos!" Rodney protested, though he was caving quickly.

"No, youíre my best friend and my lover." Now there was a faint undertone of true hurt.

All cynicism dropped away from Rodneyís expression, and he gave John a gentle kiss, hugging him tightly. "I feel the same way; no one has ever meant as much to me."

John raised a hand to cup Rodneyís cheek, gazing down into the blue, blue eyes. "I love you too," he said softly, causing Rodneyís eyes to widen in alarm.

"I didnítóno, no, I meant that," he said resolutely.

"Which I think is a pretty good thing, since in case you missed it, I said I love you too."

"I know that!" Rodney said sharply before sucking in a deep breath. "Iím sorry; I do and I know you do too."

John started to laugh, making Rodney scowl again. "What is so funny?"

"Only you would get pissed at a moment like this, and itís just so perfectly us." John grinned at him.

"That Iím annoyed and youíre laughing like a loon?"

"Yup." Johnís grin widened, and he rocked his hips forward to improve Rodneyís mood.

"IóohóI can live with that." Rodneyís brow smoothed out as he arched up under Johnís weight, tightening his arms around his back.

"Glad to hear it." John bit gently on Rodneyís jaw line.

"I love you," Rodney said suddenly, getting the words out before he bit them back again.

The smile that blossomed on Johnís face then made the one heíd worn the day theyíd experimented with the personal shield look cold, and Rodney tilted his head to the side, staring up at him, giving a tenuous smile in return.

"This trip has turned out a lot better than I could ever have dared hope."

"It might be even better if youíd move."

"I think I could manage that." John suited action to his words and slowly pulled back until he was in danger of slipping out of Rodney completely, then pushed forward again, making Rodney moan and clutch at him, his hips arching off the bed in an effort to deepen the contact.

"Jesus, you feel good," John rasped, lowering his head to nuzzle at a rigid nipple.

"Not my name," Rodney mumbled before gasping again and clenching down around Johnís cock, his own erection hard and tight against his belly.

"Smartass," John chuckled shakily. He repeated the motion, fighting to keep a slow pace.

"Anyóanything else would bore you.í

"Good point." John took Rodneyís mouth again at the same moment that he drove in as deep as he could go, making Rodney moan and buck up underneath him, arms and legs clenching down around him as they slammed together.

"Oh fuck." John lost his battle for a slow, torturous pace and began to fuck Rodney hard and fast, moaning desperately with every stroke.

"John, god, John, yes," Rodney whimpered, meeting every stroke, his fingers digging into Johnís back as they slammed together, his dripping erection pressed between them every time they came together.

John lowered himself slightly so that his belly rubbed over Rodneyís cock with every moment, fighting to make Rodney come.

"John." The word was a throaty whimper as Rodney tightened around him and spasmed, his come splattering both of their chests as his sobbing gasps filled their ears.

John shuddered, his body tightening as Rodney rippled around him, drawing a wild cry from deep inside him. He continued slamming into Rodneyís body until his own climax overwhelmed him, making him yell wordlessly as the intense pleasure radiated through him.

Rodney smiled up at him through half-lidded eyes that were quickly closing as he squirmed slightly, his legs sliding down Johnís to circle his calves. John smiled sleepily in return, tucking his head under Rodneyís chin as his own eyes fluttered shut.



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