Quote Hog's Quotations

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” --Winston Churchill

“I’d rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” --’Steel Magnolias’

“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...” --Carl Zwanzig

“Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else.” --George Bernard Shaw

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people.” --W. C. Fields

“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.” --Doug Larson

“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.” --Mark Twain

“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” --Alexander Graham Bell

“Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan...a Mount Rushmore of incompetence.” --David Steinberg

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.” --Albert Einstein

“A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.” --Victor Lownes

“Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same thing as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.” --Vaclav Havel

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” --Fr. Alfred D’Souza

“Et tu, Brute.” --Julius Caesar

“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.” --Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

“The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of ‘Ten Best’.” --H. Allen Smith

“Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.” --Fran Lebowitz

“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.” --George Bernard Shaw

“We learn from history that we do not learn from history.” --Georg Wilhelm F. Hegel

“The tendency for an event to occur varies inversely with one’s preparation for it.” --David Searles

“In America, anyone can become President. That’s one of the risks you take.” --Adlai Stevenson

“Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” --Judith Viorst

"Hopeless romantics are only hopeless in the eyes of those who don't believe in romance."

“I can resist everything except temptation.” --Oscar Wilde

“On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.” --Virginia Woolf

“No opera plot can be sensible, for in sensible situations people don’t sing.” --W. H. Auden

“We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.” --Ambrose Bierce

“The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do.” --Harold Coffin

“Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.” --Jim Davis

“My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.” --Benjamin Disraeli

“I like children. Properly cooked.” --W. C. Fields

“Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts.” --Serge Gainsbourg

“Know thyself? If I knew myself, I’d run away.” --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” --Groucho Marx

“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” --Napoleon Bonaparte

“The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man almost nothing.” --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that can counts can be counted.” --Albert Einstein

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” --Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.” --J.D. Salinger

“There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.” --Francois de la Rochefoucaud

“Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool.” --Jane Wagner

“It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” --Woody Allen

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” --Oscar Wilde

“A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.” --George Bernard Shaw

“I like life. It’s something to do.” --Ronnie Shakes

“Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.” --Elbert Hubbard

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.” --Gaiman and Pratchett

“I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.” --Richard Burton

“When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.” --Mark Twain

“The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.” --Sir Winston Churchill

“Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.” --David Lloyd George

“I truly believe that there are as many ways of loving as there are people in the world and as there are days in the life of those people.” --Mary S. Calderone

“Whatever women do they must do twice as good as men to be thought half as good...luckily, it’s not difficult.” --Charlotte Whitton

“Few things are harder to put up with than a good example" --Mark Twain

"Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." --Napoleon Bonaparte

"Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles." --Pat Paulsen

"Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it." --Robert Heilein

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius--and a lot of courage--to move in the opposite direction." --E.F. Schumacher

"Everything is always okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it isn't the end."

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." --Dan Stanford

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." --Saint Jerome

"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday." --John Wayne

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy." --Sam Levenson

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect." --Steven Wright

"If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy."

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the tradewinds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover." --Mark Twain

“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of that fact.” --George Eliot

”Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” --Sherlock Holmes

"Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses." --Alphonse Karr

“If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” --Carl Sagan

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” --James Branch Cabell

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." --Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” --Napoleon Bonaparte

"Every man dies. Not every man lives." --Tim Robbins

"You know you've read a good book when you turn to the last page and feel as if you've lost a friend."

"I may not believe in what you say, but I will die for your right to do so." --Voltaire

“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change." --Confucius

"A true friend stabs you in the front."

"Theater is life, cinema is art, tv is furniture.”

“The average person thinks he isn’t.” --Father Larry Lorenzoni

“Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.” --C.G. Jung

“They write about these types of cases in the Private Eye Handbook, Lady! Something about a ten foot pole...” --The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane

“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” --Walt Disney

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I haven’t tried before.” --Mae West

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it by not dying.” --Woody Allen

“Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” --Harry Morris Warner

“Only two things are infinite: the universe, and human stupidity, and I’m not too sure about the former.” --Albert Einstein

“Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.” --Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

“His ignorance is encyclopedic.” --Abba Eban

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” --Oscar Wilde

““I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.” --Frank Lloyd Wright

“Maybe this world is another planet’s Hell.” --Aldous Huxley

“Black holes are where God divided by zero.” --Steve Wright

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” --Warren Zevon

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” --JFK

“Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.” --Henry David Thoreau

“After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.” --Cato the Elder

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” --Tom Clancy

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” --Winston Churchill

“God gave man both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” --Robin Williams

“If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use: two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?” --Seymour Cray

“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it’s the only one you have.” --Emile Chartier

"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."--Mark Twain

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." --Longfellow

"It is hard to let old beliefs go. They are familiar. We are comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and developing habits that depend on them. Like a man who has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has them on, we forget that the world looks to us the way it does because we have become used to seeing it that way through a particular set of lenses. Today, however, we need new lenses. And we need to throw the old ones away." --Kenich Ohmae

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth. --Maxwell Demon

"Having only four guiding principles: one, do as little harm to others as possible; two, be there always for your friends; three, be responsible for yourself and ask nothing of others; four, grab all the fun you can. Put no stock in the opinions of anyone but those closest to you. Forget about leaving a mark on the world. Ignore the great issues of your time and thereby improve your digestion. Don't dwell in the past. Don't worry about the future. Live in the moment. Trust in the purpose of your existence and let meaning come to you instead of straining to discover it. When life throws a hard punch, roll with it - but roll with laughter. Catch the wave, dude." --Christopher Snow, Fear Nothing

"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do." --Joe Walsh

"Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won't have time to make them all yourself." --Alfred Sheinwold

"Two people kissing always look like fish." --Andy Warhol

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damned fool about it." --W.C. Fields

"Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to the insane world." --R.D. Laing

"I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom." --Heinrich Heine

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." --Anonymous

"He who is always his own counselor will often have a fool for his client." --Hunter

"A witty saying proves nothing." --Voltaire

"Reality is for people who lack imagination."

"When in doubt, tell the truth." --Mark Twain

"Confusion is always the most honest response." -- Marty Indik

"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things." --Woody Allen

"Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I was six and my biggest problem was what kind of dress to put on my Barbies or whether or not I had enough Legos to build a fort."

"It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them." --Anthony Storr

"If you don't control your mind, somebody else will." --John Allston

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." --Oscar Wilde

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." --Walt Disney

"All people have three characters: that which they exhibit, that which they are, and that which they think they are." --Alphonse Karr

"Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god." --Aristotle

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

"Well-timed silence is the most commanding expression." --Mark Helprin

"Life is like a circle, and someday if we travel in opposite directions on the circle we will meet again." --Todd L. Bradbury

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." --Charles Dickens

"May your world be full of color and your crayons never melt." --Tymm

"A good quote is worth a thousand words." --Jonathan King

"When he kisses you he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe, and the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you...it's overwhelming." --Robert Heinlein

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