Alex sank back down onto the bench after Kevin left and closed his eyes, emotions flying through him at the speed of light. He was confused. Why was this suddenly so hard? It was what he'd been hoping for, dreaming of for so long, and now it had just been handed to him on a sliver platter and he was….reluctant? What the fuck was that all about?

The other day he'd been ready to give his sobriety all away for a drink. A drink because Kevin had hurt his feelings. That wasn't good. It was too soon for him to try to make a relationship work. His brain knew it, but his heart didn't want to listen. His heart wanted him to jump up off that bench and run after him.

He shook his head, opening his eyes and staring down at his injured ankle. There was no way that would be happening anyway. The best he could manage at the moment was a hobble. He sighed. What should he do? He jumped slightly when he heard the door open. His eyes flew over to it, hoping it was Kevin. It was Marcus.

"Kevin told me you needed some help. Something about you ankle?"

Alex smiled. Kevin hadn't just left him high and dry, he'd been looking out for him as usual. He made his decision. Screw what he should do, he was going with his heart.

"Yeah, I can hardly walk and I've got a flight to catch. Everything depends on me making this flight, Marcus. I'm gonna need your help."

Kevin sat on the plane, his gut twisted in knots. In the locker room he'd tried to act nonchalant, like he was fine with whatever choice Alex made. That wasn't true though. He desperately wanted him to show up. He sat back and closed his eyes, knowing that if Alex didn't show up, he was going to end up wandering around his cabin unbelievably lonely, wondering what could have been.

When the announcement came on for everyone to buckle up because take-off was minutes away, Kevin's heart sank. No Alex. He'd decided not to come. Kevin numbly buckled himself in. He wondered if he'd totally misread things again. Maybe Alex hadn't wanted to talk to him about them starting a relationship. Maybe it was something else entirely.

He thought over everything that had happened that evening, shaking his head. No. He couldn't have misread all the signals. Alex had flirted with him. Kevin had caught him looking at him longingly at so many points during the evening, and then he'd kissed him like there was nothing else in the world he'd rather be doing. He hadn't once said no when he asked him to come with him. He hadn't said yes, but he hadn't said no. So what happened? Why wasn't he there?

Minutes passed, and Kevin started to wonder what was going on. He flagged down a stewardess.

"Miss, I thought we were taking off?"

"We will be sir, there's just been a short delay."

"Oh, Okay."

Kevin wanted to scream at them to just get going. For once, he wasn't excited by the prospect of flying. He didn't want to be on that jet, alone, any longer than he had to. He just wanted to get to his cabin so he could be miserable in peace.

He heard sounds behind him, behind the curtain that separated first class from the rest of the passengers. He didn't look, didn't care what was going on. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the emptiness inside him.

A minute later, from the direction of the aisle, someone cleared their throat. Kevin wondered at it, considering everyone was supposed to be sitting and buckled, but he didn't open his eyes. The person cleared their throat again.

Kevin sighed, figuring it must be a fan or something and opened his eyes, turning to tell whoever it was that he just wanted to be left alone. The words died in his throat when he locked gazes with a pair of chocolate brown eyes he knew well.

"Alex." He said quietly, afraid to believe.

Alex smiled down at him nervously not sure what to say, knowing people were watching them. "Could you give me a hand? I don't think I can get this in the overhead by myself."

It was then Kevin noticed the crutches and remembered Alex's injury. Unbuckling, he got up and took Alex's backpack from him and stuffed it into the overhead. After they sat, the stewardess came and got Alex's crutches, hauling them off to secure for take off.

"The flight's been held up for some reason. Don't know how long we'll be sitting here." Kevin said inanely, staring out the window and wondering why he suddenly felt nervous.

Alex chuckled. "Not much longer I don't think. It was waiting for me."

Kevin's head whipped around and he looked at Alex. "What?"

Alex fidgeted under Kevin's stare, playing with the hem of his shirt. He was nervous. So, he did what he did best when he got nervous. He rambled.

"Yeah. I made Marcus call and threaten them to wait for me or I'd be suing them for discrimination against someone with a handicap. That man can be intimidating when he wants, let me tell you…of course, he is a body guard, so I suppose that's not surprising. So then we had to stop at the first aide station, which, by the way I didn't even know existed in airports. Did you know they had first aide stations in airports?" He, paused, waiting for Kevin to shake his head no, then continued, "Well, like I said neither did I. So anyway, we stopped by there and they wanted to do x-rays and shit, so I had to wait for that, and as it turns out it's not broken, just twisted. Finally they gave me those god-forsaken crutches…hate those damn things. But Marcus was getting tired of supporting my sorry ass, and I was getting tired of him bitching and moaning about what a pain in the ass I am, so…"

"Alex." Kevin interrupted, his lips twitching in amusement at his rambling.

Alex took a deep breath and lifted his eyes from the spot on the floor he'd been staring at and asked, "Yeah?"

Kevin smiled warmly. "I'm glad you came."

The tension left Alex's body and he relaxed back into the seat, smiling back at Kevin. "So am I Kev."

Kevin wanted nothing more right then than to pull him in his arms and kiss him, but he knew he couldn't. They were in public. So he settled for reaching out and grabbing his hand.

Alex wove his fingers through Kevin's and closed his eyes as the jet began to taxi down the runway. He squeezed tight as the jet got into position and began it's take off. His palms were sweating and his body was shaking. He hated flying with such a passion it wasn't even funny.

Kevin watched him closely, felt his body shaking, and realized how hard it had to be for him to get on this flight. Not only did he have go through a hassle to get there, he hated flying. If he'd gone to Florida like he'd been talking about, he would have been able to go on his bus. He wouldn't have had to fly anywhere.

Leaning over, he squeezed Alex's hand tightly and whispered in his ear, "It's going to be all right. I'm right here with you." Impulsively, he brushed a kiss across the side of Alex's neck next to his ear.

Alex shivered, but this time from Kevin's nearness instead of his fear of flying. He relaxed slightly, opened his eyes and turned to stare into Kevin's eyes.

"I know, Kev. I finally know."

They were both talking about much more than the flight.

An indeterminate amount of time later, the plane was landing. Alex was calmer this time. He was surprised to say the least. Normally he was climbing the walls, freaking out about crashing, but not this time. This time he held Kevin's hand tight and closed his eyes as Kevin leaned over and talked to him in a low voice. He told him over and over that it was going to be all right, that nothing bad would happen and he was right there next to him and never leaving.

Alex felt safe.

An hour and a half later, they pulled up to the cabin. Kevin grabbed his duffel bag and Alex's backpack out of the trunk of his car, which had been waiting for him at the airport where he left it in long-term parking when he was gone. Alex grabbed his crutches and hobbled behind Kevin up the walkway to the door. His ankle was already starting to feel a little better, but he wasn't taking any chances. He did not want it getting worse and causing problems at their next show.

During the whole flight and the whole car trip to Kevin's secluded cabin they hadn't spoken one word about why they were there together. They talked about anything and everything but that.

When they walked in, Kevin shifted the duffel bag onto his shoulder and turned the lights on. He hadn't taken any luggage because he kept enough clothes at the cabin so he wouldn't have to. He turned to Alex who was still standing in the doorway, leaning on his crutches, looking frozen to the spot.

He smiled reassuringly. "Alex, come in. The cabin isn't going to swallow you whole."

Alex was lost in memories of the last time he'd been there. It had been right before the PR tour back at the end of May. He'd been so fucked up then. So sure he'd never have Kevin. All the guys had come, along with Kristin, Leighanne, and Sara. They'd spent several days there. Everyone had a blast. For Alex, it had been hell.

He pulled free from his thoughts at Kevin's comment and looked at him. "I know, I was just thinking about the last time I was here."

Kevin studied his face, the sad gleam in his eyes. "It wasn't a good experience for you, was it?"

Alex stepped inside and Kevin reached around him to shut the door behind him. "No, it wasn't. It was hell."

"I'm sorry." Kevin said sincerely.

Alex shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry about. It was a self imposed hell. Nothing you could have done about it."

"Still…"

Alex reached out a hand, putting a finger to Kevin's lips. "No, don't start what if's, please. They'll get us nowhere. It was the way it was, and that's all, okay?"

Kevin nodded. They stood staring at each other for a long moment, Alex's finger still covering his lips. Kevin stepped slowly forward, opening his mouth. He watched Alex's eyes darken as he sucked on his finger. Reaching up, he circled Alex's wrist with his hand and pulled slowly so that his finger slid part way out, then he sucked it back in.

Alex's breath caught in his lungs and he became instantly hard. He'd never experienced anything as erotic as that. Kevin, standing there, staring at him intently, sucking on his finger that way. Alex could almost feel his mouth around his cock instead of his finger. He leaned on his crutches more heavily as his head dropped back and he closed his eyes, moaning, lost in sensation.

Kevin watched Alex's reaction, getting heady with the power he had over him at that moment. When he pulled his finger out the next time, he let his teeth graze the length of it, smiling seductively when Alex's eyes shot back open and locked with his. Kevin could see the need and desire in their depths and needed to be closer. He released his finger and pulled him into his arms, leaning down for a kiss.

Alex let go of his crutches, vaguely hearing them clatter to the floor as he melted against him and the kiss deepened. He traced Kevin's lips with his tongue, moaning when he opened for him. He sucked his tongue into his mouth, imitating what Kevin had done with his finger on it. He heard him growl low in his throat and shuddered, hardening further. In the next instant, he found himself pressed against the door with Kevin's hips grinding against his own as their tongues battled for dominance.

Alex realized that this was it. It was going to happen…they were going to happen. All the nervousness he'd felt on the way to the airport, on the plane, in the car left his body, replaced by a sense of being home. Not that the cabin felt like home. No, Kevin was home. Kevin's strong arms circling him, holding him close was home.

Part of Kevin worried they were rushing things. They hadn't even talked yet, and they had a lot to talk about. So many questions, so many decisions. But the other part of him, the part deep inside that needed him at that moment like he needed air, told him it was all right. Everything would work itself out. Just enjoy the moment and deal with the rest later. As Alex's lips left his mouth and latched on to his neck at the base, Kevin moaned and decided to listen to the part of him telling him to go with it.

Alex kissed and sucked and bit at the skin of Kevin's neck, loving the way he tasted, the way he reacted to everything he was doing. He reached up and ran his fingers along the lines of his cornrows. He loved Kevin's hair. It was so silky smooth. He continued to kiss a line up his neck until he reached his earlobe. His tongue shot out and flicked it, then he grabbed it between his teeth and nipped at it before sucking it in.

Kevin shuddered, heat flowing through his body in waves. The man had a damn talented mouth. He ground his hips against him harder as Alex alternately sucked and nipped at his earlobe. He was going crazy standing there while he tormented him. He reached down and grabbed the hem of Alex's shirt, pulling back slightly so he could lift it over his head.

Alex let go of him and raised his arms to comply. He licked his lips as he watched Kevin pull his own shirt off next, then he pulled him back to him, pressing their chests against each other as he attacked his mouth again.

Kevin felt like he was going out of his mind. Everywhere their skin touched was on fire, his erection was throbbing in his jeans as it rubbed against Alex's roughly, and Alex's mouth…damn. He was kissing him like the world was ending, bruising his lips in the process. Kevin wouldn't have had it any other way. He was just as desperate as he was.

Alex clutched at Kevin, his hands at the back of his head as they kissed violently, too lost in need to take it slow. He felt so good pressed against him, their bare chests touching. He wanted more. He wanted to be pressed against all of him, naked. He let go of his hair and reached down to Kevin's waist, pushing at him a little to get him to back up enough so he could undo his jeans.

Kevin complied and did the same, reaching for Alex's pants, his mouth never leaving his. Frantically, they unbuttoned, unzipped and pushed each others jeans and underwear down at the same time, only then breaking apart to finish getting their pants off the rest of the way. Once they were naked, they stood there for a second, taking each other in.

Alex's eyes slid down Kevin's rock hard chest to his abs, then lower, to his erection standing out between his legs. Heat shot through him. Kevin was beautiful. And hard. For him. His mouth watered. He'd wanted to taste him for so damn long. He wasn't going to wait another minute.

Stepping forward, he dropped to his knees in front of him and grabbed his hips as he spread kisses over his stomach, stopping at his bellybutton to dip his tongue inside. He heard Kevin moan and smiled against his skin before moving lower and out, kissing his hips, then moving inward slightly to lick at the tattoo Kevin hid from the world. He moved on, getting closer to his goal, but at the same time wanting to prolong the moment, savor it.

"Alex, please," Kevin moaned.

Alex looked up at Kevin, into his pleading eyes as he continued to kiss a path to his ultimate goal. He felt Kevin's hands come up to tangle in his hair, trying to urge him to get there faster, but Alex resisted, wanting to get there in his own sweet time.

Finally he took mercy on him and flicked his tongue out across the tip of him. He watched Kevin's face as his gaze heated further. Alex loved that he was watching what he was doing to him. He continued to stare up at him as he opened wide, and with their gazes locked, he took him all the way to the back of his throat with one fluid movement.

Kevin's eyes widened and his hips jerked in reaction to what Alex had just done. He moaned deep in his throat, his hands tightening in Alex's hair as Alex started to suck his cock. He watched himself disappear in his mouth over and over, his hips thrusting to meet him every time his head came forward.

"Oh fuck, Alex…so good…damn…your mouth….hot, wet…"

Alex moaned around Kevin's cock, his husky words like a caress on his skin. He was in heaven kneeling there before the man he'd wanted for so long, bringing him pleasure, tasting him, inhaling his scent.

At some point, Kevin took control, holding his head while he thrust in and out of his mouth. Alex wasn't sure when exactly the control had shifted, but unlike in the past, where he'd needed to feel in charge of all his partners, he didn't mind. He let Kevin do what he wanted. He opened even wider, letting him in as far as he could go. He reached around and squeezed his firm, tight ass then pulled one hand away, bringing it around the front to cup his balls, massaging them in time with the thrusts. Pulling his other hand away, he reached up toward Kevin's face.

Kevin leaned down and sucked his finger in, moaning as he did so. Alex's mouth surrounding his cock, and his hands on his balls felt so damn good. He was getting close. He sucked on his finger one last time before Alex pulled it away.

If he'd been able to form a coherent thought at that moment, he might have wondered why, but he was way past thinking. All he was capable of right then was feeling the intense pleasure Alex was giving him, so he was totally unprepared for the intrusion of Alex's wet finger in his ass. He jerked in surprise, and slight discomfort, but then Alex twisted the finger inside him, and rubbed against something and Kevin cried out in pleasure.

"Holy shit, don't stop….fuck…so good…"

Alex shuddered at the sound of Kevin's sex laden voice, and he rubbed his prostate one more time. Kevin's balls tightened in his hand, his fingers pulled at his hair and his hips thrust violently, forcing his cock even farther into his mouth. Alex heard him scream his name as he came long and hard down his throat. He sucked it all down, loving the taste of him. He continued to suck until Kevin went soft in his mouth before finally releasing him and pulling his finger out of his ass. He sat back on his heels and looked up at him with a smile, wiping at the corners of his mouth.

Kevin looked down at him speechlessly. Never had he experienced anything like that. It hadn't just been a blow job. He'd made love to him with his hands and his mouth, and Kevin just couldn't find words to express how that made him feel. So he didn't even try. He dropped to his knees instead and pulled him into his arms, kissing him deeply, tasting himself inside Alex's mouth as their tongues tangled and licked at each other.

After several minutes, they ended the kiss, leaning their foreheads against each other and sucking in much needed oxygen.

"Alex, God, that was just, so amazing."

Alex smiled seductively and said, "That was just the beginning."

Kevin shuddered, staring deep into his promise-filled eyes. "Let's move this to the bedroom."

Alex nodded and they both moved to stand. Suddenly Alex lost his balance and cursed, falling into Kevin's arms. They both sucked in a breath as skin touched skin.

Alex cleared his throat and said, "Shit. Forgot about the ankle." He paused, turning his head to look at the wooden staircase. "I don't think I'm going to make it up those steps, Kev. Maybe we should just, uh, move it to the couch?"

Kevin stood there, holding Alex, their bodies pressed against each other. He could feel Alex's erection pressed against his inner thigh and it was getting him hard all over again.

In a husky voice he replied, "No way. There isn't enough room on that couch. I want a bed for what I'm about to do with you."

Alex shivered. Hell, he almost came from what he'd just said to him. He didn't offer a word of protest when in the next second, Kevin bent to hook an arm behind his legs to pick him up. Once he was securely in his arms, Alex wrapped his own arms around his neck and leaned in, pressing as much of himself against Kevin as he could. He wanted to be so close to him he didn't know where he ended and Kevin began. He had a feeling by the end of the night, he'd get his wish.


Chapter Sixteen
MAKING AMENDS, MENDING LOVE Contents