Later, after the show was over, they all made their way back to the shower rooms, still buzzing from the energy the crowd had given off and discussing their plans for the next few days. They had three days off before meeting up in Uniondale, NY for their next concert.

Nick announced he was going to stick around until the next day at least, sample the night life, maybe shoot some pool with a few of the stage hands and his bodyguard. Brian said he was on his way to meet up with his wife. They were going to spend his days off together, and then when he came back on the road, she'd be coming with him. Howie told them he had a plane ticket out to Florida that night. He wanted to just go home and chill out for a few days. That left Kevin and Alex. Kevin said he was headed to his cabin in Kentucky to spend a few quiet days away from everything.

All eyes turned to Alex, who just shrugged. "I don't know what I'm doing. Don't really have any plans. Maybe I'll shoot down to Florida in the bus to see my mom."

With that everyone finished stripping and stepped into the showers. Once there, Alex and Kevin avoided looking at each other at all costs. It wasn't until Kevin exited his shower stall, a few minutes behind Brian, Howie and Nick that Alex found that to be impossible.

As Kevin walked by him, his towel slipped from his hips and fell to the ground. Alex, watched, transfixed as he bent to pick it up and retie it. When he started to turn, Alex whipped his head back around and looked at a suddenly interesting point on the wall, thankful the shower stall was hiding his sudden hard on.

Kevin stared at Alex's bare, tattooed back for a moment. He would have sworn he'd looked at him just before his towel dropped, but right then, he was acting like he didn't even have a clue he was in the room. Oh well, just as well. If he'd seen a look of hunger in Alex's eyes, he might have pressed him against the wall right there and fucked him.

By the time Kevin got everything fixed and back in place and exited the shower, the others were nearly ready. A couple minutes more, and he was saying goodbye to them and wishing them safe trips.

Still in his towel, he started digging around in his bag for some underwear. He would have sworn he packed some, but now he couldn't find them anywhere. Sighing, he returned to packing his duffel bag back up. He was in no particular hurry because his flight didn't leave for another couple hours. He admitted to himself though, that the real reason he was lagging behind was that he was waiting for Alex so they could have their talk. He needed to know before he took off what Alex wanted to tell him.

A minute later, Kevin heard a dull thud, then Alex's raised voice. "Holy mother of fuck!"

Kevin walked over to where the shower room was and said, "What?" as he peaked around the corner.

His eyes widened at the sight in front of him. Alex's shower stall door was wide open and he was sprawled, naked as the day he was born, on the wet floor of the shower, holding his ankle and cursing up a storm.

Alex looked up at him and said, "Nothin', just fell. I'll be…." He paused in answering as he attempted to stand. Pain shot up his ankle when he tried to put weight on it and before he could grab anything to stop himself, he fell back on his bony ass again. Now he wasn't sure which was worse, the throbbing in his ankle, or the pain in his ass. "Fuck! That hurts!"

"Are you all right?" Kevin asked, still peaking around the corner.

He didn't want to move into full view because all he had on himself still was the towel and it wasn't doing that good a job at hiding the fact that he was suddenly harder than shit watching Alex squirm around from ass cheek to ass cheek trying to stop the pain.

Alex just sat there for a moment with his eyes shut weighing his options. It was obvious Kevin was reluctant to help him by the way that he wouldn't even come all the way into the room. It was equally obvious that without someone's help he was going to be sitting on that shower floor for a long time.

He opened his eyes back up and looked Kevin in the eye. "No, I'm not all right. Could you give me a hand?"

Kevin didn't move. "Uh, I could go get Marcus or something…"

"Fuck no. I don't want Marcus seeing my naked ass. Or my naked anything else. What the hell is you're problem? Hell, Kev, you bench press more than I weigh." Alex asked in frustration. The water was turning cold and the tiles he was sitting on were already cold.

Kevin hesitated a moment more. He knew Alex was right. But there was no way in hell he was walking around that corner and picking him up wearing nothing but a towel that already wasn't hiding the evidence of his thoughts all that well. His luck right now, the towel would fall off again and he'd be hard and naked, holding a wet naked Alex in his arms.

"Just a minute, then."

"What? Kevin, where are you going? It's getting fucking cold in here!" Alex's voice rose with each word until he was shouting.

He couldn't believe Kevin had just walked away like that. And fuck if that water wasn't getting colder and colder. He cursed himself for staying in the shower so long, but what should he have done? Come out with a hard on under his towel? Hell fucking no.

He decided he had to do something about the water. Who knew how long Kevin was going to be, and he was freezing. He scooted over until he was directly below the knob to turn the shower on and off. His towel bar was right next to the controls to the shower. He grabbed that with one hand and reached up with the other to turn the knob. It took him three tries, but he eventually got it.

Kevin walked around the corner shirtless and barefoot, but wearing a pair of jeans. He hadn't been able to do much about his hard on, but at least it wasn't as obvious inside his jeans as it was under that towel. He stopped short and swallowed hard as he looked at the position Alex was in. He was facing the wall, one hand holding the towel bar, the other reaching for the shower knob. That wasn't such a big deal, except for the fact that it gave him a perfect view of his nice tight ass, the muscles flexing and un-flexing with the effort to raise himself high enough to reach the knob.

After Alex got the shower turned off, he sighed in relief and sat back down on his butt. He turned and noticed Kevin standing there, a few feet away staring at him. He looked into his eyes but couldn't quite pick up on what he was thinking. Kevin had this knack of walling off his emotions when he didn't want to reveal them. You'd see there was something there in his eyes, but you wouldn't be able to tell what. Alex had always envied that ability. His own eyes showed every damn emotion he felt. Thank God for sunglasses was all he had to say about that.

"Kevin man, take a picture. It'll last longer."

A blush crept up Kevin's neck as he started forward. Shit. Alex had looked down. Kevin's blush deepened.

Alex's gaze traveled down Kevin's naked torso of it's own will, right down to his crotch. His bulging crotch. Alex's eyes darkened with desire and his gaze flew up to Kevin's face, but Kevin refused to look him in the eye.

Alex swallowed hard. Kevin wanted him. Kevin was hard for him, and from the sounds of things, or rather lack of sounds from the other room, they were all alone. Nothing to hold them back this time. No wives or boyfriends. He wondered what was going to happen now.

Alex watched as Kevin bent to pick him up. This was going to be awkward as shit now. He grabbed his towel and threw it over his lap as Kevin reached an arm under his knees and one under his arms.

In a slightly husky voice, Kevin said, "Alex, give me a little help here. Put your arms around me, Okay?"

Alex hesitated for a second before complying. Why was he suddenly so nervous? He cursed the butterflies dancing around in his stomach. He reached up and wrapped his arms around Kevin's neck as Kevin lifted him up off the cold wet tile.

Alex almost giggled. He felt like such a girl being carried by Kevin like this. The urge to giggle was soon replaced by another urge as Kevin straightened and Alex's side and hip came into contact with the larger man's bare chest.

Suddenly Alex was fighting his own arousal. He sucked in a breath and looked at Kevin's face. Kevin's jaw was set and he was still refusing to look at him. They were both silent as Kevin carried him into the changing room.

Just before they reached a bench near Alex's stuff, he asked, "Kevin?"

Kevin forgot he was trying not to look at him and turned his head. Suddenly their faces, their mouths, were only inches apart. In a deep voice he responded, "Yeah?"

Alex's eyes dropped from Kevin's to his mouth. "Thanks."

Kevin stopped in front of the bench. His eyes dropped to Alex's mouth also, and he decided he had to do something to break the tension. "No problem. And we were both right, by the way."

"Oh? What about?"

"You do weigh less than I bench press, but those two damn suitcases you were trying to carry the other night did weigh more than you."

Alex's face broke into a wide grin as he rolled his eyes and laughed. Kevin watched him, still holding him, loving the way he laughed. He thought again how great it was to have the old Alex back.

"Gee thanks. Don't know if I should be offended or not." Alex shot back.

Kevin smiled. "Not. You're body's perfect the way it is."

And then the tension was back and they both realized they were standing half naked, or in Alex's case, mostly naked, with Kevin still holding him in his arms for no apparent reason. Without another word, Kevin bent over and set Alex down on the bench. He straightened and turned, walking over to his own stuff to finish getting dressed.

Once they were both dressed, Kevin looked at him. "Do you think you can walk at all?"

Alex shook his head. "I don't know. It still hurts pretty bad. I wish I had a wrap or something for it.

"Hold on, I might have one."

Alex sat there watching as Kevin bent over his bag, his jean-clad ass in full view. God that man had a nice ass. Shit. He was getting hard again. He had to stop this. They needed to talk, and that was going to be pretty difficult if he was hard and wanting to jump him.

He shifted on the bench, inadvertently putting weight on the injured ankle and wincing. Thank God they had three days off before the next concert. He was going to need the time for his ankle to get better. He still couldn't believe he'd tripped on a goddamned bar of soap as he was sneaking out of his shower stall to see if everyone was gone yet.

Alex was startled out of his thoughts by Kevin suddenly standing in front of him sing-songing, "Earth to Alex, come in Alex."

He gave him a sheepish grin. "Sorry, was just thinking."

Kevin nodded and knelt down on the floor in front of the bench to wrap Alex's ankle. Alex watched, transfixed as Kevin removed his sock and pushed his pant leg up. He tried not to suck in a breath at the tingling sensation left on his skin where Kevin's fingers touched. Then he was wrapping his ankle and Alex was sucking in his breath anyway, this time in pain rather than pleasure.

"Damn that hurts." He hissed between his teeth.

Kevin finished wrapping it and laid his hands to rest on the bench on either side of Alex's legs. "You should get it looked at tomorrow. Make sure nothing's broken."

Alex stared into Kevin's eyes for a long moment then looked away, running a hand through his hair. "Shit. Hadn't thought of that. Broken. Fuck."

Kevin stared at him, itching to run his own finger's through the bottle blond's hair. "If we need to postpone a few dates, we should find out as soon as possible."

Alex's eyes shot back to Kevin's. "No fucking way. We are not postponing anything. Even if I have to dance with a broken ankle. I'll do it. We already postponed enough shit because of my sorry ass."

Kevin brought his hands up to either side of Alex's face. "Don't talk like that."

He said it with such conviction that Alex was momentarily speechless. Not to mention how turned on he was by how close Kevin was and how he was holding his face like that.

Finally he found his voice and said, "How can I not? I mean, besides all the shit I put you guys through before rehab, there's all the crap that happened because I went. There's the jokes, which I can handle, but you guys shouldn't have to, and some of them are directed at you guys. And the lawsuits that were almost filed. And the fans that got upset and ditched us. And…"

Kevin stopped him with a finger over his lips. "None of that matters. All that matters is that you're better. I know you still struggle. I see it in you're eyes, but I also know that you are healthier and over all happier than you have been in years."

Alex's eyes pooled with unshed tears. He wanted to believe what Kevin was telling him, he really did. He just felt so guilty sometimes for what he'd put them all through. The bottle of alcohol still hidden on his bus came to mind. He never had gotten rid of it. "Still, I just, I feel like such a screw up."

"You are not a screw up. Sure, you've had more than your fair share of problems, and you didn't handle them the best way at first, but damn Alex, you got your shit together pretty fast. It takes some people years and years to come to terms and deal with an addiction. And not only are you dealing with it, you're dealing with it under some serious pressure and holding up well."

Alex wanted to crawl under a rock. Handling it well. He'd come so close to taking a drink the other day. If Kevin knew that, it would erase that look of pride that was in his eyes at the moment. Alex never wanted him to find out. He didn't think he could stand the disappointment he'd see there then.

"I wish I felt that way. Some days, I just want to give in and get lost in a bottle. I lie to myself and tell myself things would be so much easier if I could just forget for a while."

"Forget what?"

Alex fidgeted. He didn't want to tell Kevin the things he had thought he needed to forget had to do with wanting and needing him. "Just things. Listen, we need to have that talk I mentioned."

Kevin nodded. "That's why I stuck around."

Just then Carlos popped his head through the door. "Kevin, man, if you don't get it in gear, you're going to miss your flight."

Kevin let go of Alex and stood, turning toward the door. "Shit. Okay, thanks. Be there in a minute."

When he turned back, his heart ached at the look of dejection in Alex's eyes. "Alex…"

Alex interrupted. "I know. You've got to go. I guess we'll talk when we meet up in Uniondale then, huh?"

Kevin watched as Alex gingerly stood, trying not to put too much pressure on his bad ankle. His shoulders were slumped as he bent to pick up his backpack.

"Come with me."

Alex whipped around, forgetting about his ankle, only to be reminded a second later, rather painfully. "Ow, shit."

Kevin watched as Alex's leg buckled and he started to fall. He reached out and grabbed him, and suddenly they were standing flush against each other.

Alex swallowed and stared at Kevin's mouth. "Thanks."

Kevin's own eyes were trained on Alex's mouth as he replied, "Anytime."

Without another word, they gave in to what they'd both been wanting to do since the kiss backstage earlier. They kissed again.

Alex wrapped his arms around Kevin's neck and held on tight as their lips met. When Kevin's tongue traced his lips seeking entrance, Alex willingly complied, opening his mouth to let him in. He moaned when their tongues met. It felt so good, so right to be there in his arms like that. He never wanted it to end. But it did.

Breaking the kiss, Kevin looked down at him and repeated in a ragged voice, "Come with me. Spend the next few days with me at my cabin. You didn't really have plans anyway, and while we're there, we can figure all this out."

Alex wanted nothing more than to say yes. But this was a big step. He knew what would happen if he went, and he wasn't sure he was ready for it. Physically, hell yes. He'd wanted him for so long, but emotionally? He just didn't know.

"I don't have a ticket." He said, stalling.

"Yes you do. I had Carlos call for one while you were still in the shower. Just in case."

"You…you did?"

Kevin could see the sudden fear in Alex's eyes and cursed himself, hoping he hadn't just messed things up with them before they even got started. "I didn't do it to pressure you, Alex. I just wanted the option to be there for you. If the answer's no, I'll understand."

"I don't know, Kev. God, hours ago we weren't even talking and I thought we didn't have a chance, now we're in each other's arms and you're asking me to go away with you."

Kevin bent and gave him one more, quick kiss on the lips before pulling away slowly, giving Alex time to adjust his weight so it wasn't on his bad ankle. "Think about it. The flight leaves in," he stopped and looked at his watch, "an hour and a half. You've got a whole suitcase of cloths there that you forgot from the last time you guys all visited, so all you need to bring is you. The ticket will be waiting for you at the counter if you decide to show up."

Alex watched silently as Kevin picked up his duffel bag and headed for the door. At the door, he turned back to him and opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and shut it again. Then he was gone and Alex was all alone.


Chapter Fifteen
MAKING AMENDS, MENDING LOVE Contents