Half an hour after they left the hotel, their limo pulled up in front of the red carpet of the VMA's. All five of them looked at each other and took deep breaths.

After a couple seconds, Kevin spoke up. "Ready?"

At all their nods, he opened the limo door and stepped out to flashing lights, yells for autographs from fans camped out across the street, and yells from reporters closer by for interviews. After all of them were out of the limo, they posed as a group for photos, putting on their game faces. Slowly they made their way toward the building, stopping now and then to talk to various television reporters.

When they strolled by John Norris, he snagged them for an interview and they once again put on their game faces. No one looking at them would have had a clue that Nick's stomach was doing summersaults at the thought of running into JC, Howie wanted to strangle Nick for what he'd said to him back at the hotel about the stick up his ass, Brian wanted to slink off to a corner and wallow in self pity over how his marriage seemed to slowly be falling apart, and Kevin and Alex were both trying to remember they were in public and needed to act like nothing more than good friends. To that end, they even allowed John to stand between them, knowing that would be the best way to keep from touching each other.

When John asked the inevitable question about Alex's sobriety, he answered, saying he was sixty-four days sober, to which Nick threw his arm around him and pulled him close for a second, a big smile on his face at how far his friend had come in such a short time. Kevin watched the exchange, part of him happy that Alex had so much support besides him and part of him wanting to reach out and yank Nick away from Alex. Amazingly, he somehow kept his thoughts off his face though and no one was the wiser.

Finally, they made it past all the interviewers and backstage, following a stage hand who took them to their dressing room. After they got their lines and rehearsed what they were supposed to say a few times, Alex sat back on the couch next to Kevin, resisting the urge to snuggle up close to him, even as Kevin resisted the urge to throw his arm around him and pull him close. At any time someone outside the Backstreet camp could walk in and catch them and they both knew it, so they settled for just being able to sit near each other instead. Then Brian sat down next to Alex and soon the three of them were involved in a discussion about how hectic the rest of the night was going to be.

While this was going on, Nick started pacing, wondering how he could go about finding JC and getting him alone for a few minutes to talk. They'd seen each other briefly on the red carpet, their eyes locking, before they were both once again surrounded by media and forced to pay attention to what was being asked of them.

Nick was so intent on his thoughts, he didn't see Howie crossing the room to grab a magazine off a table and collided with him. Reaching out, he grabbed at the smaller man to keep him from falling and Howie smiled up at him gratefully before remembering his earlier harsh words. The smile dropped from his face and he started to turn away. Nick grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Howie, man, I'm sorry about earlier. I was…I have some things on my mind and…I was out of line saying that to you."

Howie watched him closely for a minute, seeing that in fact, Nick was stressing out about something. His anger forgotten, he switched into big brother mode and asked, "What's wrong Nicky?"

Nick sighed, dropping his hand. "I've just got someone I need to talk to and I'm not sure how it's going to go and I'm flipping out about it."

Howie had an idea what this was about. He hadn't said anything before, figuring it was Nick's business who he slept with, but he'd seen JC come out of his room late the next day after they'd all met up at that club in Dallas.

Howie contemplated his next sentence for a minute before speaking. "How do you want it to go?"

Nick shrugged. "I want…I mean…fuck, I don't know. I just want to know where we stand and what's going to happen next…if anything."

Howie nodded and looked down at his watch before looking back up into Nick's eyes. "The way I see it, you've got two choices. You can stay here, pacing and getting a head start on an early ulcer, or you can go track JC down and find a quiet place to talk for a few minutes. We have thirty minutes yet before we have to be backstage to present."

Nick's eyes widened. "How did…"

Howie almost laughed at the look of shock on Nick's face. "I saw him leave your room the day after we all met up at that club."

"But you didn't say anything…"

Howie shrugged. "Your business. When you didn't mention it, I figured you didn't want to talk about it."

Nick pulled Howie in for a hug. "Thanks D, and I really am sorry about earlier. I was being an ass."

Howie hugged him back. "Don't worry about it, I wasn't exactly living up to my 'Sweet D.' rep at the time either."

Nick pulled back and looked down into Howie's face, concerned. "About that, what's wrong? You've been stressing a lot the last few days."

Howie shook his head. "I'll be fine. Right now you're in a time crunch if you want to have that conversation with JC."

Nick paused a moment longer, then shot Howie a smile of thanks and headed for the door. Once out in the hall, he had no idea which way to go. He didn't know where Nsync's dressing room was, not that he wanted to go there and see all of them anyway. He decided to head to the main backstage room where the refreshments were being served and people were mingling first and see if he could find him there.

JC was deep in a conversation with Chris when his eyes caught Nick walking into the room. Nick looked hot tonight, JC decided. Not that he didn't always look hot, but right then especially. That blue jacket he had on really brought out his eyes. He sucked in a sharp breath as Nick's blue eyes wandered over the crown and settled on his. His heart stopped when Nick smiled and headed over. Chris was still chattering away in his ear, but right then he could have told him Britney Spears was really a man and it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference to JC. All that mattered was that Nick was smiling at him and walking toward him.

Nick felt a surge of hope rush through him as JC returned his smile. Maybe Alex had been right. Maybe JC did want to be with him too. When he reached him, they both ignored Chris and stared at each other for a second before Nick found his voice.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

Butterflies started to perform circus stunts in JC's stomach as he nodded, following Nick as he turned and headed back out of the room.

Chris stared after them and called, "Yeah, ok, sorry I pulled my famous disappearing man act there on ya, catch ya later when, you know, you can see me again and uh, yeah..."

Chris trailed off, turning to see Justin glaring after Nick and JC. He groaned as the younger man started to head out after them. Chris had an idea of what was going on with Nick and JC from a conversation he'd had with Howie since Dallas, and he knew what was going on with Justin and JC. He hadn't believed JC at first, had blown him off when he'd tried to tell him what Justin was doing to him, but since then he'd been keeping an eye on the baby of Nsync and had started picking up on things.

He sighed and started on an intercept path with Justin to stop him from going after Nick and JC. Some days he wondered why he was part of such a whack ass group. Oh yeah…they got to do what they loved and make millions of dollars doing it, not to mention the girls that worshiped them.

Out in the hall, Nick looked for an empty room somewhere, getting slightly frustrated that someone seemed to be in ever one he came across. After a few minutes, JC took the lead and said, "Follow me."

Nick did, liking the view from the rear. Shit, he though, he had to stop that, or when they did get alone, he'd be attacking him instead of talking. When they reached their destination, Nsync's dressing room, Nick stared at the door, then at JC standing just inside before looking around to make sure nobody was watching as he stepped inside.

He glanced around the room, noting it was empty, and heard the door behind him shut and lock. He turned around and their eyes locked. Nick swallowed nervously and searched his brain for something to say to break the tension that suddenly seemed thick in the room as JC walked toward him.

"You know, if anyone saw me come in here, the rumors will be flying…"

Nick was cut off by JC's mouth suddenly covering his. He responded immediately, pulling the other man roughly to him, pressing their sudden arousals together. JC moaned into his mouth and reached out and grabbed at Nick, pulling him closer still as the kiss deepened and their tongues mated. Nick walked him backwards until JC was backed against the wall before pulling his mouth away and staring down into his blue eyes.

"What was that for?"

JC looked up at him nervously. "I uh, you just…fuck, you're hot tonight Nick."

Nick's smile could have lit an entire stadium. He made a mental note to do something later to show Alex his thanks. His gaze dropped to JC's mouth and he licked his lips, still tasting the other man's kiss there as he said, "You're not so bad yourself."

JC moaned as Nick pressed into him harder, letting him feel his arousal. "You…you want me?"

Nick nodded. "Fuck yes. Have since Dallas. I thought you didn't want me."

JC's thoughts were too muddled by Nick's body pressed into his, his breath on his face, to think straight. "What changed?"

Nick leaned down and licked a line up the side of JC's neck, stopping at his ear to mumble, "Bone told me what you said."

"Bone?" JC's brain really wasn't working with the way Nick was now sucking on his earlobe.

Nick chuckled, loving the effect he was having on him. "Yeah, Bone. You know, Alex, AJ."

That name was as effective as a cold shower on JC's overheated body. He pushed Nick away. "AJ, shit. He's going to kill me if he finds me here with you."

Nick studied him for a second. "He really did a number on you, huh?"

"He hates me, Nick."

Nick chuckled. "No he doesn't, he's just overprotective of me."

"But…"

Nick had enough of twenty questions. They were down to fifteen minutes before he had to get going and he'd wanted to touch him all day, hell, all week since they'd first hooked up. He stepped forward again, trapping JC against the wall.

An instant before his mouth descended on JC's he mumbled, "Touch now, talk later."

JC opened his mouth to him and soon they were engaged in a deep kiss, their tongues battling for dominance, hands everywhere. They both worked furiously at each other's zippers until they got them undone and soon their hands were down each other's pants, stroking and teasing. JC leaned heavily against the wall, his head pressed into it, his eyes shut as he moaned with how good it felt to have Nick touching him that way. Nick braced himself with a hand on the wall, his face near JC's, his eyes also shut as he moaned in reply.

JC's grip on Nick's hard cock tightened as he got closer to his orgasm. "Shit, Nick, I want you so bad right now."

Nick groaned. "Oh God…me too…not enough time…"

JC got an idea and pulled his hand out of his pants to grab his shoulders, catching Nick off guard as he quickly reversed their positions so that Nick was now against the wall and JC was in front of him. Leaning in, he gave Nick a quick hard kiss before he could say anything, then dropped to his knees in front of him. Nick let out a strangled cry of pleasure as he found himself suddenly engulfed in JC's hot wet mouth. His eyes rolled back into his head, and his head dropped back against the wall as his fingers came up to tangle in JC's hair.

JC knew they were running out of time, but he wanted to get Nick off first, so he skipped the preliminaries and deep throated him, running his tongue along the underside of Nick's pulsing dick as he pulled off a little before forcing his throat to relax again as he sucked him back in again. He reached up a hand and cupped Nick's balls, rolling and massaging them as he continued to work on drawing him closer and closer to orgasm. He knew Nick was close when his balls started to tighten and his fingers tightened in his hair.

Nick was beyond rational thought, beyond caring if the guys might have to go out on stage without him if he didn't get out of there soon. JC's mouth around his cock was like a little piece of heaven. He never wanted it to end. He knew it would though, knew he was close, could feel the buzz of his nearing orgasm humming through his body.

"Josh, fuck…so close…gonna…"

JC's response was to suck him even deeper as Nick thrust forward. He hummed against the head of Nick's cock as it hit the back of his throat. That was enough for Nick and suddenly he was cumming long and hard down his throat, biting his lip to keep from screaming out JC's name.

After it was over and Nick softened in his mouth, JC released him and watched, a smile on his face as Nick slowly slid down the wall, a serene, sated expression on his face. He loved the fact that he was responsible for that expression.

After a few minutes, Nick opened his eyes to find JC watching him, a cocky smile on his face. Nick smiled back. "What are you smiling at?"

JC leaned in and kissed him long and hard, then pulled back to answer. "How sexy you are right after you climax."

Heat flashed in Nick's eyes and he pulled JC back to him for another kiss. After a minute, JC pulled back again. "Nicky, uh, aren't you supposed to be on stage soon?"

Panic suddenly clutched at Nick's gut, and he looked down at his watch. "Holy shit." He exclaimed as he jumped to his feet and tucked himself back into his pants, then straightening out his clothes.

JC chuckled and stood, refastening his pants too. Nick watched him and suddenly felt guilty. "Shit, Josh, I didn't take care of you."

JC stepped forward and pulled Nick close, bypassing his mouth to whisper huskily in his ear, "Don't worry, you can make it up to me later baby."

Nick shivered as JC traced the shell of his ear with his tongue. "Shit yeah." He muttered, turning his head to kiss him before pulling away, knowing he had to leave, but not wanting to.

He paused with his hand on the doorknob and looked back at JC again. "Where will you be after the awards?"

JC thought about it for a second. "Have a couple after parties to make appearances at. I'll probably end up at P.Diddy's though."

Nick nodded. "Ditto. See you there then?"

JC nodded and smiled as he watched Nick leave. He couldn't wait.

Nick raced into the waiting area just off stage a minute later. "Sorry guys, I uh, got held up."

Howie just nodded, having a good idea from the smile plastered across Nick's face what had happened, Brian stayed lost in his own little world, trying to psyche himself up for what they were about to do, Alex looked at him curiously, which made Nick blush and his smile get bigger, afraid his friend would figure out what he'd just been doing. That of course tipped Alex off and he smiled from ear to ear in response.

Kevin just glared at him and asked, "Where have you been?"

Nick swallowed and the smile dropped from his face. Angry Kevin hadn't made an appearance since they'd all met back up in Uniondale. "I just, I…"

Alex jumped to his defense. "Kev, he's here now and it's almost time for us to go on. Why don't we talk about this later, k?"

Kevin turned away from Nick to look at Alex. He could tell by the look in Alex's face that he knew something about why Nick had disappeared. He was getting really sick of the secrets the two of them seemed to be sharing. Sure…they'd talk about it later, but he doubted it'd be a conversation Alex wanted to have.

"Fine." He bit out and turned away, his whole body rigid.

Alex's heart sank. Kevin was mad. What was worse, Kevin was mad at him. Kevin hadn't been mad at him since they'd gotten together. It didn't sit well with Alex at all. It brought up all the insecurities and fears he'd been fighting since their time together at Kevin's cabin.

He closed his eyes and swore softly under his breath. He wanted a drink, and he wanted one bad. He cursed himself for again missing a meeting that day. He'd even found his list and found the time of one near by and would have been able to make it, but the five of them had been having such a good time together at dinner, he hadn't wanted to leave. Now he wished he could just ditch the awards show and rush out of there to the nearest meeting.

Nick watched the exchange between Kevin and Alex, and the subsequent change in Alex's demeanor and felt like crap, knowing it was because of him. He didn't want them fighting about him.

He opened his mouth to say something, to tell Kevin the truth so he would stop being mad at Alex, and Alex wouldn't have to keep secrets from him, but just then they all heard Jamie Foxx, whose voice had been filling the backstage waiting area as he droned on with his monologue, mention Alex's name.

Kevin turned toward the monitor against one wall and his hands clenched in fists as they watched an image of Alex come up, spliced to look like he was drinking a long island ice tea. Howie stiffened, thinking how inappropriate the joke was, considering Alex had only been out of rehab for less than three weeks. Nick swore under his breath and started to pace, wanting nothing more than to beat Jamie's ass. Brian even pulled out of his funk enough to glare at the monitor, good and pissed.

They were all thinking the same thing. They should have seen that one coming. Alex and Jamie had had a run-in in the past at a party when Jamie, wasted off his ass at the time, had made rude comments about the 'buttfuck boys'. In retaliation, Alex, who was equally wasted and generally pissed off at the world that day, had sought out Jamie's current girlfriend and proceeded to screw her in a back bedroom, paying someone to make sure Jamie went back there and caught them.

They were all lost in little revenge fantasies until Alex suddenly cleared his throat, getting their attention. "Uh, guys. It's ok, really."

Kevin looked into his eyes, his earlier anger forgotten as he searched to see if what Alex was saying was true. "Are you sure?"

Alex stared back at him, wishing he could cross the room and have him hold him in his arms. He hadn't liked Kevin angry at him and was relieved to see he wasn't anymore. "Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, yeah, it's kinda lame that he did that when it's only been a little while since I got clean and sober, but really, I sorta expected it."

"But…" Nick started, only to be cut off by Kevin.

"No Nick, this is about Alex. If he says he's ok with it, then we have no business jumping Jamie's shit over it."

Alex smiled at Kevin gratefully. The last thing he wanted was the whole thing being blown up in the media as some sort of Jamie Foxx/Backstreet Boys showdown.

Brian piped in then. "Are you going to respond to it in any way?"

Alex shrugged. "Actually, I was sorta hoping I could just take a minute at the beginning to thank the fans for their support and mention how long I've been sober. You know, not exactly retaliate, just be the bigger man about it. If Jamie wants to be petty, that's his problem."

Kevin smiled at him and, not caring who saw, walked over to him and pulled him into a bear hug. Against Alex's ear, he whispered, "I'm proud of you baby."

Alex blinked back tears as he wrapped his arms around Kevin and hugged him back, his heart swelling with love. At that moment, he felt ten feet tall.

A minute later, it was time for them to go out and present. No one had told MTV that Alex was going to say something, but then again, MTV hadn't warned them about what Jamie was going to do in his monologue, so none of the guys felt an overwhelming urge to clue them in.

Alex's speech went well, receiving tons of applause…the loudest and longest being from Kevin, with Nick close behind. Kevin hoped that no one noticed that he was the one who actually started off all the clapping, or the fact that he clapped the longest and loudest, but he just couldn't help it. He was proud of Alex. He'd come so far so fast.

After the winner was announced, and they gave them their award, they all headed off stage, only to stop short in their tracks as Jamie's voice called out to them, asking if they wanted some champagne. Alex stiffened and stopped for a second, unable to believe that Jamie would stoop that low. He quickly gathered himself together though and continued off stage, not even giving Jamie the satisfaction of looking at him. Nick and Howie's jaws dropped in shock, but they quickly followed Alex to make sure he was all right. Kevin's hands balled into fists at his sides and he wanted nothing more than to walk over and knock Jamie out, but then he glanced at Alex's retreating back and realized his first priority was him.

Brian, however, was another matter. With all the stress he'd been under with Leighanne lately and now seeing how upset Alex was as he'd passed him, Brian snapped. He turned to Jamie and let loose a stream of curses, calling him every name in the book and telling him what an asshole he was to do something that cruel, to which Jamie replied that it was just apple cider. That did nothing to calm Brian down though and he continued to ream him out from the side stage until a couple crew members came over and talked him into backing off and leaving.

"Alex, are you ok?" Kevin ventured. Nick and Howie hung back, waiting to hear Alex's response.

Alex stood, staring at a wall, barely registering that Kevin was talking to him. He could hear Brian cursing out Jamie in the background too, but the only thing running through his mind right then was trying to keep his cool. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look up into Kevin's face.

"Alex, talk to me. Are you ok?"

Alex plastered a fake smile on his face that Kevin, Nick and Howie didn't believe for a minute. "Sure. Why wouldn't I be? Jamie's just an asshole. I'm not gonna let him get to me."

"Alex…" Kevin started.

Alex interrupted him in a low voice that held a touch of a quiver. "No, Kevin, let it drop. I don't…I can't talk about it right now. Please."

Kevin studied his face, wishing he could pull the sunglasses off his face and see his eyes better, but he knew Alex well enough to understand that if he did that, it would only make it harder on him. His sunglasses were like his security blanket when he was hurt or upset.

Behind them, Marcus cleared his throat. "Guys, we're running late, we need to get going."

Alex looked past Kevin to Marcus and nodded. "Lead the way."

As they started to head out, Howie and his guard fell into step in front of Alex and Marcus, and Nick and his guard fell into step behind him. Nick paused at the doorway and looked back at Kevin, who had started toward them but then paused as Brian walked into the room, finally coming off stage. Kevin wasn't looking at Brian though, he was looking past him, his eyes green glints of steel, his jaw set, toward the stage…toward Jamie Foxx.

"Kevin, man, are you coming?"

Kevin turned and focused on Nick. "No, not yet. I have something to take care of first."

Nick glanced toward the stage, then back at Kevin and nodded his understanding. Without another word, he turned and left.

After Nick walked out, Brian started pacing, still cursing and mumbling about Jamie's intelligence level…or rather lack thereof. Kevin didn't hear him though, he was still focused on the source of his anger, who was now making his way backstage for a commercial break.

As soon as Jamie stepped through the doorway, Kevin made a b-line for him. Brian saw what was happening out of the corner of his eye and stopped his pacing to gape at his cousin, suddenly realizing that no matter how angry he was, Kevin had to be twice as angry…which was going to make Jamie very sorry he'd opened his mouth. A slow grin spread across Brian's face as he waited for the show to begin.

Jamie saw Kevin coming a second before he was on him and raised his arms to shield his face. That didn't matter to Kevin though, because he hadn't been intending on going for his face anyway. Lunging at him, he slammed him against the wall with one hand and landed a punch to his balls with the other, smirking in satisfaction when he heard Jamie let out a yelp of pain as he doubled over.

"That was for the low blow to Alex." Kevin said by way of explanation, just before coming at him again, this time aiming for his stomach.

Jamie grunted in pain and his eyes watered as Kevin's fist once again connected with its target. Kevin pulled his fist back to gear up for another punch, but suddenly there were hands gripping his arms, pulling him back and away from Jamie. Kevin watched, anger still glinting from his eyes, as Jamie stared up at him and slowly slumped to the floor in pain.

Jamie looked up at Kevin and shuddered at the look on his face, realizing that he was damn lucky someone had stopped Kevin, because he looked like he wouldn't have been happy until he'd beaten him unconscious.

Kevin struggled for a minute against the hands holding him, but slowly his anger cooled slightly, enough for him to get himself under control and he stopped fighting them. When asked if he was going to stay away from Jamie if they let him go, Kevin nodded and felt them release their hold on him. Vaguely, he heard someone yelling at his and Brian's bodyguards, asking why they hadn't stopped him from attacking Jamie. He smirked at Brian's loud reply.

"Hey, leave them alone. It's not their job to protect lowlife pieces of shit like Jamie."

Kevin glared down at Jamie for a moment longer before turning and walking out without another word, satisfied that his fists had made his point for him. Jamie started to get up with some help, when he saw Brian coming at him. Brian stopped mere inches from him, and Jamie's stomach turned, wondering if he was in for more pain.

Brian smirked at the look of fear on the other man's face and said, "Count yourself lucky someone was here to stop Kevin, because I sure as hell wouldn't have. You deserve everything he gave you and more. If you ever make another comment about Alex's drinking again, not only will Kevin hunt you down, I'll be right there with him and next time, I won't just be watching…you can bet on it."

With that, Brian grabbed the bottle up off the floor that Jamie had taunted Alex with and turned away, throwing it against the nearest wall before walking out. He'd made his point too.


Chapter Eleven
LIVING LOVE Contents