Kevin’s chest rose and fell unsteadily as he rubbed up and down the length of his shaft. He was in his hotel room, having managed to ignore his hard-on until then. As soon as he had shut his door though, he’d lost the battle and had stumbled to the bedroom with his hand down his pants. And there he lay, on his king sized bed, his shirt still on, his pants down around his thighs, his erection in his hand, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as images of Alex getting off flooded his mind.

To make matters worse, he could still feel that kiss from a couple weeks ago on his lips. It hadn’t been anything erotic, no tongue involved, only the press of lips against lips, but it still turned him on. He refused to think about why that was. His body tensed as his orgasm neared. He imitated what he’d watched Alex do to himself earlier, reaching down to grab his balls and squeeze and just like Alex had, he climaxed with a groan of ecstasy on his lips.

He lay there for a long time after, staring up at the ceiling, his breathing and heartbeat returning to normal as he tried to figure out what it all meant. He came to the conclusion that it had just been too damn long since he’d gotten laid. Turning on his side, he reached over to the night stand and grabbed the phone, deciding to rectify the situation.

After Kristin answered, Kevin asked, "Hi honey, what are you doing?"

She sighed. "Not much. Just wrapped up work. I’m now officially between jobs again."

"Want to kill some time before the next thing your manager books for you?"

"How do you suggest I do that?" She asked curiously.

"Come out on tour with me for a few weeks." He said, trying to hide the desperation in his voice.

"Kevin,…"

He rushed on, needing to convince her it wouldn’t be like the last time. "I know we talked about this and you didn’t want to follow me around for months at a time again, but I’m not asking that. Just a few weeks. Sarah and Leighanne will be here too. You wouldn’t be sitting around bored or anything."

"I don’t know…." Her voice wavered.

He heard it and pounced, pulling out his trump. He could tell the emotional distance between them and been bothering her lately too. "Please, Kris, I need you. I, I feel like we’re drifting apart. Maybe if you come out with me for a while we can get things back on track."

She paused for a long moment. He actually sounded like he wanted, no, needed her there. Maybe there was hope. "Okay. I will."

He let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. "Thank you, baby."

She hesitated, then said, "I feel it too you know…the distance. Maybe this will fix things. I’ll call my manager and tell him not to book anything for at least a month."

He smiled. "Oh honey, that would be awesome. I can’t wait. When will you be here?"

"How about opening night? That’ll give me time to close up the house and do some last minute stuff and pack."

"Sounds good, I can’t wait."

"Love you."

"I love you too."

After Kevin hung up, he laid back again and smiled. Loneliness. That was all it was. That’s all it could be. He wasn’t turned on by Alex, he was just lonely and horny. Both of which would be fixed in two days. He just had to hold on until then.

The next day Kevin, Alex and Nick were sitting around Nick’s room playing video games. Alex was stone sober, a rarity, but then, he hadn’t figured on Kevin being there. He thought it was just going to be him and Nick and he needed his wits about him in order to have a chance against him.

Nick hadn’t known either and since Kevin didn’t usually give two shits about video games, had been just as surprised when Kevin had shown up in his doorway. Wherever they went now days, they usually rented out the entire floor for security reasons, so more often than not, unless they didn’t want to be disturbed, they didn’t bother to close their hotel room doors.

"So Kev, the wife shows up tomorrow, huh?" Nick asked, wishing he could kick himself after he said it. He’d just been making conversation, remembering what Brian had told him at breakfast. He winced as Alex’s car crashed. He sped past his burning wreck, contemplating whether to turn off the game or continue. His competitive edge won out and he continued.

Alex heard his comment and promptly crashed and burned. "Fuck." He said in response tossing down his remote. That had been his last life. Turning to Kevin who was sitting next to him on the couch, with Nick in the chair to the right of the couch, he asked, "Kris is coming?"

Kevin averted his gaze from Alex’s mouth where he’d been staring while the younger man bit his lip as he’d concentrated on the game. "Uh, yeah. Yesterday I called her and set it up. She’ll be here tomorrow for opening night."

Alex’s stomach dropped out. Now he really needed some alcohol. The thought of having to hang out with the two of them while they touched and kissed was enough to make him sick. "That’s cool. Now Sarah and Leighanne will have another partner in crime to spend our hard earned money with."

He laughed, intending it as a joke. Kevin scowled and Alex’s laugh died on his lips. "What’s wrong, dude?"

Kevin shook off the scowl. "Sorry, just thinking about something. Don’t mind me."

‘Yeah right, like I can just sit here this close to you and not mind.’ Alex thought to himself. Out loud he said, "Come on Kev, if something’s bugging you, you can tell me."

Kevin sighed, staring at the game still going on on-screen. Nick looked like he was in his own world, ignoring them both and winning by a mile. He couldn’t tell Alex that he thought Sarah was just staying with him for his money. Besides the fact that it was none of his business, Alex had made it very clear in the hallway of that hotel room a week or so ago that he didn’t want Kevin’s opinion on his relationship with her. He had to say something though, Alex was sitting there waiting.

Alex reached out his hand and laid it on Kevin’s forearm on impulse. As soon as their skin made contact, he felt an electric jolt coarse through his body. This was not good. He shouldn’t have touched him. But now that he had, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. So he didn’t. "Kev, talk to me."

Kevin pulled his eyes away from the TV and stared down at Alex’s hand. The hand he’d watched him jerk himself with a day earlier. He got hard. In an effort to remember he was married to a woman and Alex was his friend, and a male friend at that, nothing more, he blurted, "Kris and I are having problems. There’s this distance there and I don’t know what to do about it."

Alex was stunned. He’d thought everything was fine between them. They seemed so…what was the word…comfortable with each other. And it hit him. They were still newlyweds. They shouldn’t be ‘comfortable’ with each other, they should be all over each other, with hand holding and goofy smiles and late night conversations. Kevin and Kristin didn’t do any of that.

"Wow, I don’t know what to say." And he didn’t. Part of his heart went out to him, wishing there was something he could do to fix things for him. He loved him, and above everything else, he wanted him to be happy, but the other part of his heart screamed that it was because he should be happy with him, not her. He felt like shit that he was even thinking that, but there it was. He was a selfish jack-ass.

Kevin shook his head, touched that Alex was so concerned. It was like he had the old Alex back, not the new, self-involved Alex who was determined to push everyone away from him and pretend nothing mattered to him. "I don’t need you to say anything, Alex. Just needed to say it out loud. This one I have to figure out myself."

Alex nodded. His hand stayed put and suddenly Kevin’s hand was there, covering his and squeezing lightly. Alex almost threw up. As it was, his stomach did somersaults and he stared into Kevin’s piercing green eyes, swallowing hard. He had to be misreading the look he saw there. That was the only explanation. There was no way Kevin was looking at him with something akin to longing.

Nick won the race and stood, cheering for himself and jumping from foot to foot doing a little dance. He never got tired of winning. That wasn’t the entire reason for his little victory dance though. He had also been listening to their conversation and had snuck a glance their way. He had been more than a little concerned by the looks on their faces and figured they needed a wake up call. He was right. His loud voice and his dance were enough to pull Kevin and Alex out of their private little world and they pulled apart awkwardly.

Standing, Kevin said, "I’m gonna head back to my room. I have some, um, stuff to do. I’ll see you guys later."

Alex watched at Kevin left. He was still floored by what had just passed between them. What had passed between them? He just didn’t know. He stood too, patting Nick on the back and saying, "I’m gonna take off too, Kaos. I’ll catch ya later."

"Bone, wait. Are you okay? I saw what was happening between you two."

Alex smiled weakly. "I thought that victory dance was a little over the top. Thanks. Another minute and I might have said something really stupid."

"Anytime. So, you okay?" Nick asked, repeating his question.

"Not really, but hey. When am I? I’ll get over it." Alex shrugged and headed for the door. When he was almost through, Nick called out to him.

"Bone, for what it’s worth, he’s not oblivious to you the way Brian was to me. Kevin feels something."

Alex tensed, turning back to face Nick and shaking his head. "No. He’s married. Please, please don’t say that. It can’t be and thinking it might have been will just fuck with my mind. I know what you’re trying to do, but don’t. I can’t let myself think like that."

A sad expression crossed Nick’s face at the tortured look in Alex’s eyes. "Sorry."

Alex attempted a smile, failing miserably. "Don’t be. Catch ya later."

Alex walked out, making a b-line for his room. Sarah was out with Leighanne shopping and his suite was empty. Lonely. He was always lonely, even when he was with other people. He hated that feeling. He hated the feelings he had for Kevin even more. The feelings that told him if there was no Kris in the picture he and Kevin could make each other happy, that Kevin could take away his loneliness.

Closing the door behind him and throwing the lock he headed to the mini bar. Instead he’d rely on Jack Daniels to take the loneliness away. Jack was always there. Kevin wasn’t. He ignored the little voice in his head telling him that was his own fault. That he’d never let him be there for him. That all he had to do was tell him about his feelings and everything would work out. He opened the little bottle and lifted it to his lips, determined to drown out the nagging little voice.

Kevin laid on his stomach staring at the picture in his wallet. It had been taken a couple years ago. It was his favorite. He had pics with each of the guys individually, but the one of him and Alex was his favorite. It had been Alex’s twenty-first birthday and Kevin had surprised him with a night out on the town, just the two of them. Nick was underage, so he hadn’t gone, Brian wasn’t much of a partier and had opted to stay home with his now wife, then girlfriend, and Howie, well, Howie was Howie, off somewhere on a business deal like always when they had free time. He'd offered to bag it and come back, but Kevin had told him no, stay and take care of his business. He hadn't given much thought to the fact that he could have told Howie before he left about the surprise, but hadn't because he'd wanted it to be just him and Alex. He was thinking about that now though.

He remembered the huge smile on Alex’s face when he’d shown up on his doorstep with a limo. Alex had laughed, his chocolate brown eyes twinkling in the setting sun when Kevin had announced he was kidnapping him and taking him out to show him the best time he’d ever had. They hadn’t stopped dancing and drinking until well past four in the morning.

At some point during the night, Kevin had grabbed the chauffeur and gotten him to take a picture of them together. Kevin had brought his camera of course, being the prepared person he was – Alex had called him anal, laughing the whole time – and then at the last second, Alex had turned to him, throwing his arms around him from the side and planting a kiss on his cheek. The camera had captured the kiss and Kevin’s shocked reaction to it perfectly.

He ran a finger over Alex’s bare arm in the picture. He’d had a few less tattoos then and his hair color of the moment had been a cross between purple and red. Kevin always gave him shit about his hair colors and his tattoos, but secretly he envied the way he just expressed himself whatever way he wanted and told the world to screw him if they didn’t like it. Kevin could never do that. He wished sometimes though that he could.

He sighed and closed his eyes, rolling over onto his back and undoing his pants. He was hard again. Damn, Kris needed to get here fast. He couldn’t take this much more. But, as his hand wrapped around his throbbing length, it wasn’t Kris’s eyes or hands or mouth that he saw as he pleasured himself. It was a died blond, tattooed freak with the most expressive eyes he’d ever looked into that owned his thoughts.


Chapter Six
BROKEN LOVE Contents