Alex watched Kev dance out of the corner of his eye. Damn that man was sexy. They were at a brush up rehearsal two days before the tour was set to resume and Alex hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off him. Thank God for sunglasses. At least they hid most of his oogling. They were practicing ‘Get Another Boyfriend’ at the moment and Alex went to do the double turn thing where they turn in one direction then backtrack and turn the other way. The only problem was he wasn’t paying attention and somehow ran smack into Brian, knocking them both over.

The music stopped and Brian said, "Gee, thanks Bone, I needed to land flat on my butt today."

Alex’s face flamed. He never screwed up dance moves. This obsession with Kevin was getting to be too much. He needed a drink. "Sorry Rok, not sure what happened there."

"I am," Nick piped in. He’d noticed Alex’s oogling of course.

Alex’s eyes shot up to him in alarm. He knew? How? Nick wasn’t a dumb blond the way some people thought he was and they were close, but he thought he had hidden his obsession better than that. Still, he didn’t think Nick would announce his secret just like that. One look at the smirk on his face and he knew he was right.

Winking at Alex, Nick turned to their choreographer and said in his best whine, "Fatima, you’re working us too hard. I mean, if Bone is screwing up, you must be. We should just call it a day. I have places to be anyway."

Alex let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Nick had covered for him. He didn’t know how much Nick had figured out, but it was something. That wink told him that. He made a mental note to find out how much.

He snuck a glance at Kevin, only to get caught as Kevin stared back at him, his expression cloudy. Oh great. He’d pissed him off. Just what he needed, images of a pissed off Kevin running through his head. Pissed off Kevin images got him harder than shit.

Kevin watched Alex’s reaction to his stare. Alex’s face was slowly turning a warm shade of pink. What the hell? He was floored. Alex was embarrassed. Damn, he never thought he’d see the day. He just assumed, of course, that it was from messing up the dance move. If he’d had any clue as to the thoughts running through Alex’s head right then, his face would have been just as red.

Fatima rolled her eyes. "Yeah Nick, I’m a real slave driver." She looked at the full on pout he was shooting her and sighed. "Oh, all right. You guys know what your doing. If you want to leave, go."

Alex watched from the floor as Nick let out a whoop of joy and ran off stage. Brian, who’d gotten back to his feet just stood there chuckling. Kevin shook his head, and Howie? Alex stood, looking around for Howie, finding him over by the drum set. Shit. He was picking up his water, or what was supposed to be water. Alex made a b-line for him, grabbing the water bottle out of his hands just as he was bringing it to his lips.

"Get your own D, don’t need your germs in my water." He mumbled crossly.

Howie just stared at him like he’d grown another head. Since when did Alex care if he drank out of his water bottle?

Alex stalked off, not wanting to stand there while Howie glared at him. Inside, his heart was beating a million miles an hour. He had almost gotten caught. He’d tossed straight vodka in the bottle earlier that day because he had known he’d never make it through rehearsals sober with Kevin so near by, dancing and shaking his ass. He wasn’t much for vodka, but it was clear like water and handy, so vodka it was.

He knew he’d have to find Howie later and apologize, but for now his only thought was getting out of there and away from all of them, especially ‘Mr. Body Beautiful’ himself.

Back on stage, Brian shook his head and commented, "His moods swings are worse than a PMSing woman lately."

Kevin scowled at Alex’s retreating form. What was going on with him? Ever since that weird exchange at Alex’s hotel room door, he’d been avoiding him at all costs. Kevin hadn’t pushed the issue, figuring it would get him nowhere. No, better to keep his mouth shut and keep an eye on him. Figure it out that way. Whatever was going on with Alex would rise to the surface sooner or later, he knew. He just hoped he’d have the patience to wait it out. And besides, he tried think about that conversation, or more to the point - that kiss - as little as possible.

Alex ran to the bathroom, forgetting to lock the door behind him. The only thing on his mind right then was getting off. He was so hard it hurt and it was all for Kevin. It was always for Kevin. Sitting down on the closed toilet lid, he freed himself and began to jack himself slowly, closing his eyes as images of Kevin ran through his head.

Kevin dancing, Kevin’s ass shaking, Kevin’s intense green eyes as he stared him down, Kevin’s mouth and how damn good it’d feel to fuck it. He moaned low in his throat as his hand sped up, rubbing up and down his shaft faster and faster as his hips thrust upwards. Kevin’s mouth. Hot, wet and so goddamn fuckable. He could almost feel it surrounding him, sucking him.

Alex bit down on his lower lip to keep from saying his name out loud, an animalistic sound escaping instead. Almost there. He could feel his balls tightening and he reached down with his free hand to give them a squeeze. Lights exploded behind his eyes and he let out a long, low groan of ecstasy as his release took him over.

After, he sat there spent, breathing hard. He opened his eyes and grabbed some tissue to clean up his mess, glancing at the door as he did so. Fuck. He hadn’t even locked it. Thank God no one had found him. That would be even more embarrassing than fucking up his dance move had been.

Out in the hall, Kevin leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door, his eyes squeezed shut, his pants suddenly a little too tight for comfort. Alex jacking off. He hadn’t expected to see that when he’d wandered backstage looking for him.

He also hadn’t expected to get turned on by watching it. And watch it he had. Even though he knew he shouldn’t, when he’d opened that door hearing Alex’s moan, he’d been frozen to the spot by what he saw. Alex, sitting with his legs sprawled out in front of him, eyes shut, a look of intense concentration on his face as his hand worked his cock. And that cock. Damn, it had looked good. The head of it all purple, oozing precum. Kevin had almost moaned out loud himself at the sight of it. Almost. Instead he’d gripped the doorknob tightly and watched as Alex brought himself to orgasm and streams of cum shot out of his cock all over his hand and stomach.

That was when he’d pulled himself back to reality. Closing the door quietly, he’d collapsed against the wall where he was now, trying to get his own hard-on under control. He was thoroughly confused by his reaction. Why the hell had he gotten turned on by that? Must be because it had been a while since he and Kristin had sex. Yeah, that had to be it. They hadn’t had sex in almost a month. He wasn’t reacting to Alex, he reasoned, just to the thought of jacking off. With that settled in his head, he pushed away from the wall and headed off down the hall to find his own private spot to relieve the pressure in his pants.

Not long after Alex’s little adventure in the bathroom, Nick caught up with him drying off from his shower. "You’re starting to slip Bone, one of these days you’re going to get caught and then what?"

Alex’s towel covered hand faltered in it’s mission to dry off his arms. "What?" He wasn’t sure if Nick was talking about his obsessive oogling of Kevin, his vodka in the water bottle or his jerking off with the door unlocked.

Nick sighed, deciding it was time to let him know what he knew. Maybe if he had someone to talk to about it he wouldn’t need to drink as much. "I know, Bone. I know about your feelings for Kevin. I’ve known for a while."

Alex swallowed, fear flashing across his face. "You do?"

"Yeah. I didn’t say anything because I figured you’d tell me if you wanted to talk about it, but it’s getting worse. You’re showing up to meetings drunk and screwing up dance moves. You’re getting obvious." Nick hadn’t meant to say all that, but once he started, he couldn’t stop himself. He was worried about him.

Alex stiffened. "It’s obvious? Well, the only thing obvious to me is that you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Jesus Christ. Kevin’s a guy. What the hell would I want with a guy?"

Nick had expected this reaction. He was prepared. "Oh, I don’t know, what do you want with the stream of guys you’ve had come back to your room while we’ve been on tour. I just assumed you were fucking them, but hey, if I’m wrong, clue me in. Maybe you’re just…playing scrabble…or something."

Alex snarled, walking up to Nick until he was only inches away. He realized just how much taller the younger man was than him and he realized it was a little hard to intimidate someone taller and heavier than yourself. He suddenly wished for a younger, shorter Nick. "Are you saying I’m gay, Nick?"

"I’m not saying anything like that. I’ve also seen the stream of women go in and out of your room too. I’m not trying to start a fight here, or embarrass you. I just want you to know that if you need to talk I’m here. I won’t judge you."

The fight went out of Alex. Nick was there for him. No one had been ‘there’ for him without wanting something in return for a long time. Although now he realized that wasn’t true. Nick had been there all along, covering for him, accepting him, understanding him, he just hadn’t realized it.

Turning away, his shoulders slumped. "How can you not judge me. I’m in love with a fucking guy. A married guy."

Nick stepped forward and put his hand on Alex’s shoulder, turning him back to face him. "I can not judge you because if I did, I’d be judging myself too. I’ve been there. I didn’t fall as hard as you did and it didn’t last as long, but I’ve been there. With Brian."

Alex’s jaw dropped. "You…you're in love with Brian?"

Nick shook his head. "No, not anymore anyway. But I was. That’s why I started hanging out with you so much when they got married, instead of trying to stay as close to him as I was before the wedding. It was just too hard. He was all Leighanne this, Leighanne that…and God, when they were together they were all touchy feely. I just wanted to scream."

Tears sprung up in Alex’s eyes. "You do understand, don’t you?" His voice was a mere whisper.

"Yes."

That was all Alex needed. He fell into Nick’s arms and cried like he hadn’t for one hell of a long time.


Chapter Five
BROKEN LOVE Contents