An hour later, Sarah was asleep in the bed beside Alex and he was staring up at the ceiling more sober than not. That was something he didn’t like. Being sober. Too many thoughts ran through his head. Thoughts about where Sarah and he were headed, about his career, and most of all about Kevin.

The 6’2" dark-haired, green-eyed man constantly invaded his thoughts now days. He didn’t know what he was going to do in a couple weeks when the tour started back up. It had been a nightmare for him so far, but with this obsession of his getting worse by the day, it was going to be like the ninth dimension of hell. He decided then and there he was taking Sarah with. She at least took the edge off it for him.

Sarah. When had he become dependent on her anyway? He didn’t like that, but was powerless to stop it. Most days he felt like he was walking a tightrope between sanity and the psyche ward and she was his safety net. He knew it was wrong, that he was using her, but he reminded himself that she knew the score and it was her choice whether to stick around or not.

Carefully he climbed out of the bed, not wanting to wake her. He pulled on his boxers and headed to the sitting room, specifically to the minibar. Searching around, he discovered he was out of alcohol. Shit. Fuck. He needed a buzz badly.

Heading to the phone, he called down to the desk. A minute later he slammed the phone down. An hour. A fucking goddamn hour. They wouldn’t be able to stock him up for an hour. Bullshit. He couldn’t wait an hour. He thought about going down to the hotel bar, but realized he couldn’t. Too much chance of getting caught. Public drinking anywhere near his bandmates was not an option.

His mind flitted to the little black pouch in his duffel bag. He’d almost forgotten about that. He hadn’t touched the stuff since the other night with that girl. What was her name again? Oh well, like it mattered. The only thing that mattered right then was getting his mind off the dark angel that consumed his thoughts.

Minutes later he was in the bathroom, snorting a couple lines. He heard a sharp intake of breath behind him and turned to see Sarah’s shocked face in the doorway. It was too late though, the rush was taking him over and he couldn’t find the desire to give a shit.

He smiled. "Hey baby, want some? There’s plenty."

"Drugs Alex? God, the drinking was bad enough, but coke? You are seriously fucked."

Alex chuckled. "Not right now, but an hour ago I was, wasn’t I baby?" He advanced on her while he said it, horny for more.

Sarah backed out of the doorway, not liking the look in his eyes. "No way in hell. I’m not having sex with you while your high. Get it out of your head right now."

Alex leered at her. She had nothing on but one of his oversized tee-shirts and it wasn’t hiding much. "Funny, I don’t remember asking. Get over here."

Sarah started to shake. She’d never seen him like this before. He was scaring her. Just then someone knocked at the door. She took the opportunity to escape to the bedroom, locking the door behind her.

Alex swore at the interruption, then opened the door, his face immediately lighting up at who it was. "Kev, hey man, what’s up now? Come to ask me about how happy I am again?" He leaned forward, bringing his hand up to the back of Kevin’s head to hold them forehead to forehead staring in his eyes as he continuing. "Well, don’t worry. I’m so damn happy I could dance on a table." With that he kissed him full on the mouth, then backed off, letting his hand drop before asking, "Good enough?"

Kevin eyed him suspiciously, totally unnerved by the kiss. What the fuck was that about? He decided to ignore it for the moment. Something about Alex didn’t look right, but he couldn’t put his finger on what was wrong. He knew him well enough to be able to tell he wasn’t drunk, but still, something wasn’t right. "I came here to apologize for butting my nose in earlier. I had no business asking you about Sarah."

Alex reached out and patted his shoulder, his hand lingering a moment longer than necessary. "Don’t worry about it. Long forgotten. See ya."

He started to close the door, but Kevin stopped it with his foot still trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Just then, Sarah came out of the bedroom fully dressed, purse in hand. She tried to push past Alex, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Where you going baby?"

Sarah whirled on him, not caring that Kevin was standing right there to hear. "Out. I’ll be back later when you’re yourself again. Now let go of me."

Alex laughed, but let go, putting his hands up in the air. "Shit, baby, chill out! I was just asking."

Sarah looked him up and down in disgust and hissed, "Well don’t."

With that she stomped off, leaving an amused Alex and confused Kevin in her wake.

"What was that all about?" Kevin asked trying to figure out why Alex wasn’t upset. It sounded like he and Sarah had another fight.

Alex turned his amused smile on Kevin, teasing, "Hey, thought you were going to butt out."

"Uh, yeah. I was. See ya later Alex." He turned on his heel and stomped off, pissed, no longer caring what was wrong with his bandmate.

Alex shut the door and crossed to the couch, sitting down and picking up the remote. Might as well watch a movie while he waited for his alcohol to arrive.

Hours later, Sarah walked back into the suite to find Alex passed out on the couch, the TV blaring. She stalked over and shut it off then turned to look at him. Her anger was replaced with sadness. She wished she could stop the downward spiral he seemed to be stuck in, but knew she couldn’t. Crossing to the bathroom, she confirmed he had picked up the drugs and stashed them away. She thought about going through his things to find them and flush them down the toilet, but knew that would be a mistake. She had no right.

She went to the bedroom and grabbed an extra blanket housekeeping had left there at Alex’s request and carried it out to his spot on the couch. Draping it over him, she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. He didn’t even stir. She sighed and headed off to the bedroom alone.

A while later, Alex woke with the need to pee. He sat up, getting tangled in the blanket. Where had that come from? He looked around and saw the bedroom door was closed. Sarah must be back.

Sarah. Shit. He’d really scared her. Hell, now that the buzz from the coke had worn off, he was scared himself by the way he’d acted. If Kevin hadn’t shown up when he did, he wondered if he really would have forced her.

Kevin. Shit. Had he actually told him he was happy enough to dance on a table? And then…kissed him? Oh fuck. He was screwed. If Kevin didn’t know something was going on before, he damned sure did now. He stood, dizziness forcing a groan out of his throat as he held his head between his hands. The coke felt awesome in his system, especially when he combined it with alcohol, but the comedown was a bitch.

He made his way gingerly to the bathroom, bracing himself against the wall as he stood over the toilet and relieved himself. He walked back out to the sitting room, pausing at the bedroom door. If he went in there now, he’d have to apologize and have a discussion of some sort. Females always needed to discuss shit. An apology was never good enough on it’s own. He didn’t have the energy and his head hurt too fucking much for that, so he passed the room by and fell back onto the couch, pulling the blanket back up over him and passing out again. His last coherent thought was that he’d have to talk to her later when his head didn’t feel like a meteor shower was taking place inside it.


Chapter Four
BROKEN LOVE Contents