"Where were you last night?" Kevin asked, sitting down next to Alex on the couch in his suite.

"What the fuck business is it of yours?" Alex asked irritably. It was the morning after his little experiment into the world of drugs and sex on drugs. His head felt like a Mac truck had rammed into it.

Kevin looked him over. His skin was pale, his face drawn. It was obvious he was hung over. Kevin had his suspicions that Alex hadn’t slowed down his partying as much as he would like them to think, but he never seemed to be able to catch the younger man in the act now days and he was unwilling to accuse him of something he couldn’t prove.

Deciding the current line of questioning was getting him nowhere, he changed tactics, trying to keep his cool. He’d never get anything out of Alex if he got pissed. "How’s Sarah?"

"Why?" Alex asked, thrown off by the question.

At least he wasn’t swearing at him anymore. Kevin took that as a good sign. "Just haven’t seen her around. I thought you said she was coming along for this PR trip."

Alex shrugged. "Yeah, well, plans change. She got a last minute gig. She’ll be here tomorrow."

"Oh, good for her." Kevin said, not really meaning it. He was of the opinion that Sarah’s attraction to Alex had more to do with his money and fame than him.

Alex closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch, rubbing his temples. He doubted even an entire bottle of aspirin could stop the incessant pounding in his head. He nearly jumped a foot in the air when he felt Kevin’s hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Bone, are you all right? You don’t look well." Kevin asked, feigning ignorance as to the cause of Alex’s ‘illness’.

Alex’s eyes snapped open and he had to fight the urge to pull away from the older man. He didn’t want Kevin touching him. Kevin touching him was not a good thing. It brought all kinds of images to mind. Images that got him horny. His stomach fluttered and he thought for a second he might be sick. A fluttering stomach was not good when a guy was in the middle of the mother of all hangovers.

"I’m fine Kev, shit. What’s with the twenty questions?"

Kevin pulled his hand away and shrugged. "Just wanted to have a conversation with you. We don’t seem to spend much time together anymore. Not since I got married."

In fact, Kevin mused to himself, that was about the time Alex had started changing. Becoming distant, partying, drinking too much. He would have to sit down and think that one through later. Maybe if he could remember what had happened back then, he’d find a clue that would help him understand what was going on with him now.

"Haven’t you heard? When you get married that’s what happens. Friends get put on the back burner." In his pain-stricken state, Alex forgot to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Kevin was startled. "Is that what you think? That I put you on the back burner?"

Alex realized it was pointless to try and backtrack now. "Well, didn’t you? I mean, I didn’t go anywhere. I’ve been just as available to hang out with as ever. Can’t say the same for you."

Kevin didn’t know what to say. Obviously this had been bothering the younger man and he’d had no clue. He felt like shit. Out of all the guys, Alex was the most sensitive. Nick came in a close second, but Alex was the one who felt things the deepest. It was all there in his eyes. That’s why he wore the glasses so often. He didn’t like people seeing how deep his emotions ran. Kevin had been struck by the depths in those eyes since the time they met.

"God, Bone. I didn’t realize it meant that much to you. I’m sorry."

Alex suddenly felt way too vulnerable...naked even. He needed some distance…physical and emotional. Standing, he crossed the room to the minibar, opening the fridge and pretending to search around for something to snack on. Over his shoulder he said, "It’s not a big deal, Kev. It really doesn’t bother me that much. I was just making an observation. Really."

Kevin didn’t buy it for a minute. "I don’t believe you."

Alex whirled around, suddenly mad as hell. "Fuck you. Who gives a shit if you believe me or not? What the fuck is this anyway? Why are you trying to get inside my head?"

Crap. He was swearing at him again. "Because I love you, Alex. I can tell something’s been bugging you for a long time now and I want to know what."

Alex tried to ignore Kevin’s declaration of love. He knew he didn’t mean it the way he wanted him to. He laughed humorlessly. "You want to know what’s bugging me? I’ll tell you what’s bugging me. People starting conversations with me under pretense, then probing my brain like a fucking shrink. That’s what’s bugging me. Feel better now? I know I do."

Kevin stood, his temper finally flaring. "You can be such an ass. I don’t know why I bother with you sometimes."

Alex watched him stomp off, his heart breaking for the thousandth time since he’d met him. He didn’t know why Kevin bothered with him either. He wasn’t worth it. He was just a skinny ass, tattooed, pierced freak. It would be so much better for both of them if he could just disappear. He’d been wanting to for a while now. One of these days he just might get up the courage to end it all. Put himself and everyone around him out of their misery.

He turned back to the minibar and grabbed a bottle of JD, ignoring the tears escaping his eyes as he tilted his head back and let the warm liquid ooze down his throat. "Nothing like taking the edge off a hangover with a little alcohol," he muttered to himself as he crossed back to the couch and plopped down on it, bottle in hand.

A few rooms down, Kevin leaned back against the door to his room, running his hand through his long black hair. Why did he let Alex get to him so much? No one had the power to get him as frustrated or as upset as Alex did. Not even his wife. He stared at the phone across the room. Kristin. Yeah, that was what he needed. To hear her voice. Maybe vent a little about his problems with his band mate. He frowned as he crossed the room realizing he hadn’t talked to her since he left for the PR tour a week ago. He punched in her number and brushed off the thought as the phone rang, picking up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

Funny, hearing her voice after a week without her should have put a smile on his face. "Hey baby. How are you?"

"I’m ok. How’s the tour?"

He sighed, sitting down. "Not so great. Something’s up with Alex and I can’t get him to talk."

"Maybe you should just leave him alone for a change."

What was that tone in her voice? Bitterness? "What are you talking about? He’s my friend. I can’t just leave him alone."

"No, I don’t suppose you can."

He knew he hadn’t imagined the hint of sarcasm she delivered with that last comment. "What’s wrong with you, Kris? Something got you upset?"

There was a short pause on the other end, then he heard her sigh. "No, Kev. Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s fine. Hey listen. Is that all you called me for, because I was just on my way out the door."

"Oh. Yeah, that was it. Where are you going?"

"Nowhere special. Just shopping."

Just shopping? And it was more important that talking to him when they hadn’t spoken in a week? "Oh, ok. I’ll let you go. Love you baby."

"Love you too."

Kevin just sat there listening to the dial tone after she hung up until it cut out and the annoying phone lady’s voice came on. Hanging up, he stood and crossed to the window, looking out at nothing in particular.

What was going on with her, with them? They had been so close when they’d first gotten married. Not anymore. Now shopping was more important than the first conversation they’d had in a week. A voice in the back of his head screamed that it was only the first year of their marriage. They should be touching a lot, kissing a lot, staring into each other’s eyes with goofy expressions on their faces, sharing secret jokes, craving each other’s company. For a while now he’d put it off as being comfortable with each other. After all, they had known each other for almost ten years…but now he was starting to wonder.


Chapter Two
BROKEN LOVE Contents