May 11, 2002
It's the day before Mother's Day. I finally got my mom a gift just a
couple of hours ago. I got her cushions for her lawn furniture. It's
what she wanted and I hope she likes what I got. If not, I have the
receipt somewhere (Hey, where is that thing?).
Some of the family
got together at a local buffet today to celebrate Mother's Day. I was
there, too. I continued my sad habit of only eating one plateful of grub
which defeats the purpose of buffet dining. I don't understand why I do
it. I'm a hefty guy with a hefty appetite. I should be piling it in, but
I don't. No, I just can manage one measly plate for nine dollars. Maybe
I need a tapeworm.
My niece, Keeley,
was on the radio Friday. I forget what station it was, but they were
having a Mother's Day contest and Keke won! She was asked questions
about why she loved her mommy and ended up winning a bouquet of roses
for her mother (Hi, Carrie!)
Keke says she's now a radio star and, after listening to a tape of her
radio debut, I believe her.
Our friend, Eric,
got himself a new motorcycle. It's a bit bigger than his other cycle
(RIP) so he's getting used to the added weight of the ride.
Congratulations on your purchase, Eric, and listen to Theresa: Wear a
May 9, 2002
Yo! I'm back and you're still here! Man, you are the best! I can always
depend on you when the chips are down! You're too good to me! You're
just too good!
So how are things
going? Did that rash ever clear up? Did you remember to use the lotion?
Yes? Good, good. I'm telling you that stuff works wonders! Especially on
your "sensitive" areas! Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...Are
you blushing? I think you're blushing! Oh, wait...that's the rash. Boy,
that stuff really spreads, huh?
What have I been
doing? Working some overtime at work and working undertime with the
site. What else? Hey, the gang got together to film last Sunday! It was
an episode of Yakking with Arlo and I think it turned out pretty
well. Audrea and Mary played Arlo's guests while yours truly (Of course)
played Triple A. Tim was the man behind the camera and Bill was
our steady soundman. I think everybody had a fun time. At least, I hope
planning on filming again this Sunday (Hey, that's Mother's Day! You
better get your ma something real good this year to make up for last
year's fiasco! A talking toilet seat! What were you thinking?).
We're planning on filming a lot this summer so new shows are on the way!
Yay! I would do some cartwheels, but I'm just too fat!
Hey, I hate to cut
this short, but I'm running out of things to say! I hope things are
going swell with you and yours! We'll talk again soon. I promise! I
May 1, 2002
It is the end of an era.
issue of Jar is out on the stands right now and I hope
everyone in the greater Muncie area picks a copy up. Not only is
it a collectors' item, it also features a picture of me smiling!
Believe me, folks, that's a rarity!
I'm going to
miss Jar (and the paycheck that went with it), but it's not
all bad news. The Star Press is going to launch a new
weekly entertainment magazine in August and it's going to be
staffed by many of the same, fine people who kept Jar afloat.
Will a certain fat cartoonist and his strip of Idiots be
part of this new venture? That's uncertain at the moment. We'll
just have to wait and see.
As for those
who have been waiting for new strips and content at this site, I
have to offer my apologizes once again. I have been playing hooky
and, no, I'm not proud of that. I could offer an excuse or
two or three, but you probably heard them before so why waste your
time? New strips will be heading your way and soon. Thanks for
April 19, 2002
Has the buffet become the watering hole for rednecks? That's what a
couple of my workaday colleagues theorized after we had lunch at a
well-known Chinese buffet today. We had the good fortune to be seated
next to a family that expressed their opinions through their mouths and
their butts. As they prattled on about the NASCAR schedule, their young
son suffered some major gas leaks. Fortunately, I wasn't present for the
explosions as I was too busy scooping up ice cream that died from
freezer burns weeks ago.
As the meal
progressed, a neighboring redneck from another table taunted the gassy
child about a missing toy. "I saw him take it away", the
balding codger brayed, " They threw it away! I saw them do
it!" In reality, the little methane maker dropped the toy on the
floor and the buttinski was getting some sadistic thrill by hounding the
kid. The kid's family didn't seem to mind that a complete stranger was
playing mind games with Junior. They laughed and told the boy to thank
the burden to society as he picked up the toy and placed it on their
The two tables
seemed to have bonded over the incident. As my colleagues and I
departed, the buttinski asked his newfound friends, "What's on them
bananas?" The answer remains a mystery.
I received some bad news early last week. The local arts and
entertainment magazine, Jar, was calling it quits in May.
Jar has been spreading the word on East Central Indiana's
arts scene for the past five years and was the birthplace for
the Idiots' strip. I am proud and grateful to say Jar has
been the home of Those Funky Idiots for the last three
years. It was a good relationship and I hate to see it end.
want to thank Michelle Kinsey, the wonderful editor of Jar,
for giving this fat cartoonist a very big break and for
supporting the strip these many moons! Thanks for everything,
is going on? Oh, I finally got my hands on the new public access
rules. They were
written by the mayor of Muncie, the honorable Dan Canan. They
are not as bad as I feared. Just kind of picky and such.
Saturday, Tim dropped by and showed me a copy of our newest
episode, "The Comedy Stylings of Sven Juppen". It looked
great! Tim really did an outstanding job putting it together.
He's such a professional! Thanks, Tim!
Our latest effort will hopefully air in a few weeks.
Whetsel news, Eric's beloved motorcycle was declared dead this
past weekend. Our condolences to Mr.Whetsel.
this shouldn't bother me, but what's the deal with Dame Edna
guest-starring on Ally McBeal ? Is that really necessary?
I know Ally is a firm believer in stunt casting, but Dame
Edna? Has the show become that creatively bankrupt?
I say if your show has an ideal part for Dame Edna in it, you
should do the viewing public a favor and just call it quits.