• An immensely fat set of twins on motorcycles is comedy every time.
• The first kid who tripped while running with scissors ruined it for the rest of us.
• There's nothing wrong with taking the scenic route...unless you drive an ambulance.
• If a midget ran a tavern, would it be called a minibar?
• Donnie Wahlberg was the cool "New Kid on the Block" because he was unafraid to unleash his unabashed angst amidst a seemingly impervious wall of oblivious optimism.  He still dressed like a tool, though.
• Vegetarianism makes no sense.  If God didn't want us to eat cows, why'd he make them taste so darn good?
• People (in groups) are stupid, illogical, and easily led.  So are sheep.
• When a bunch of kids lie down in the middle of a busy highway because they saw it in a film, it isn't a tragedy, it's thinning the herd.  It's not like NASA is gonna miss 'em.

*no offense intended to immensely fat twins or midgets (Donnie Wahlberg, vegetarians, and the first kid who ran with scissors,  however.....)